My Child is a Genius: a thread where we document our children's attempts at self-expression

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a pictorial series by Veronica (age 5) in which Poison Ivy starts some shit and then Wonder Woman and Batgirl show up and I dunno what happens exactly but LOL

four Marxes plus four Obamas plus four Bin Ladens (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 15 May 2013 17:22 (eight years ago) link

haha, wow those are pretty impressive actually.
here's my three year old's recent self portrait

tylerw, Wednesday, 15 May 2013 17:37 (eight years ago) link


Ava's project on Un Lun Dun by China Mieville:

Michael Jones, Thursday, 16 May 2013 09:23 (eight years ago) link

beautiful! do you guys generally keep these things around or toss them at some point? i always think "we need to archive these" and then within two days we have piles and piles of junk around the house. i guess taking a pic and storing it digitally might just be the best solution...

tylerw, Thursday, 16 May 2013 15:09 (eight years ago) link

we toss a lot of stuff she brings home from day care because i assume the teachers did the bulk of the work on it anyways

congratulations (n/a), Thursday, 16 May 2013 16:04 (eight years ago) link

my wife diligently goes through anything my daughter draws and takes pictures of anything notable. even so, stuff piles up. this is what happens when your kid draws/colors for like 2 hrs every day lol

four Marxes plus four Obamas plus four Bin Ladens (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 16 May 2013 16:21 (eight years ago) link

yeah my mom saved probably like 1/20 of things i did in school and it is still tons of stuff. not sure if i really *need* it in my life...i just need the greatest hits, you know?

tylerw, Thursday, 16 May 2013 16:26 (eight years ago) link

"hey daddy."


"old balls."

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Sunday, 19 May 2013 20:49 (eight years ago) link


ḉrut (crüt), Sunday, 19 May 2013 21:15 (eight years ago) link

Alice, a self-portrait.

Mark G, Tuesday, 21 May 2013 13:04 (eight years ago) link

two weeks pass...

"there"? "babys"? Kid, go to your room.

(More homework fun with the 6yo).

Michael Jones, Monday, 10 June 2013 14:13 (eight years ago) link

Oops. I meant "their?" Ok, kid, we all make mistakes.

Michael Jones, Monday, 10 June 2013 14:14 (eight years ago) link

This is what they made me for Father's Day (Pam's iPhone snap, the irony):

Michael Jones, Monday, 17 June 2013 11:13 (eight years ago) link

K has started to put together what sound like sentences but are semi-nonsensical, like she's just imitating the rhythm of talking, but using mostly real words. They're usually in Hebrew, but they roughly translate to things like "Mom this walking" "Dad this walking" "Stroller we eat this" etc.

i don't even have an internet (Hurting 2), Monday, 17 June 2013 14:12 (eight years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Beatrice has written and illustrated two books! I've been meaning to scan them so ill put one up sometime soon

educate yourself to this reality (sunny successor), Thursday, 4 July 2013 04:30 (eight years ago) link

four weeks pass...

our little guy drew this one at 21 months, which he described as "mama holding you" (you meaning "me"). it almost makes me cry tbh.

christmas candy bar (al leong), Thursday, 1 August 2013 19:40 (eight years ago) link

wow that's amazing

congratulations (n/a), Thursday, 1 August 2013 20:30 (eight years ago) link

aw that is great

tylerw, Thursday, 1 August 2013 20:32 (eight years ago) link

one month passes...

family portrait

she said "i'm a chip" so i don't know what that means. maybe that she accidentally drew her head as a misshapen oval instead of a circle.

congratulations (n/a), Tuesday, 17 September 2013 16:45 (seven years ago) link

lol hueg weiner

what's up ugly girls? (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 17 September 2013 17:46 (seven years ago) link


"Max's Original Starship" Vol. 3 (sunny successor), Tuesday, 17 September 2013 19:03 (seven years ago) link

n/a did someone tell her shes a chip off the ol' block maybe?

"Max's Original Starship" Vol. 3 (sunny successor), Tuesday, 17 September 2013 19:03 (seven years ago) link

:( i didn't see the hueg weiner until now and now i can't unsee it :(

congratulations (n/a), Tuesday, 17 September 2013 20:13 (seven years ago) link


what's up ugly girls? (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 17 September 2013 20:29 (seven years ago) link

some recent chalk art.

tylerw, Thursday, 26 September 2013 21:56 (seven years ago) link

seven months pass...


PLATYPUS OF DOOM (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 2 May 2014 22:04 (seven years ago) link


PLATYPUS OF DOOM (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 2 May 2014 22:04 (seven years ago) link

two months pass...

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Madchen, Wednesday, 16 July 2014 00:53 (seven years ago) link

A+ what are the MaMMIIs saying bottom left?

dem bow dem bow need calcium (seandalai), Wednesday, 16 July 2014 02:09 (seven years ago) link


a biscuit/donut hybrid called “bisnuts” (stevie), Wednesday, 16 July 2014 06:34 (seven years ago) link

the mummies are thinking "what if this happened?" I think the rest are diagrams of the mummification process

Οὖτις, Wednesday, 16 July 2014 16:15 (seven years ago) link

thats so great

we've all been kids from time to time (sunny successor), Wednesday, 16 July 2014 20:30 (seven years ago) link

Love this board!!!

*tera, Thursday, 17 July 2014 04:55 (seven years ago) link

Thread I mean...

*tera, Friday, 18 July 2014 10:24 (seven years ago) link

good knowledge of madagascar, I like seeing geographical nous

ogmor, Friday, 18 July 2014 11:00 (seven years ago) link

Ok, ok, I helped her a bit...

Michael Jones, Friday, 18 July 2014 13:56 (seven years ago) link

It doesn't fit with the thread's brief of "self-expression" either. Except later when she just drew bunnies all over the newspaper.

Michael Jones, Friday, 18 July 2014 13:56 (seven years ago) link

Oooh, I've got one of these where Abba really surprised me recently by copying the design on my tshirt, but it doesn't turn up well in photographs because it's thin pink crayon on white paper. I'll have to remember to try and scan it in this weekend.

how's life, Friday, 18 July 2014 14:03 (seven years ago) link

little guy is taking some stabs at spelling ("squeak" and "violin"!) and he likes to draw things like bugs and pigs pouring milk into cups.

LIKE If you are against racism (omar little), Monday, 21 July 2014 17:24 (seven years ago) link

wow that is some awesomely neat lettering. great drawings too.

smoochy-woochy touchy-wouchy, (sunny successor), Tuesday, 22 July 2014 15:40 (seven years ago) link

three months pass...

Pretty! I'd frame that but I'm sappy.

carl agatha, Monday, 17 November 2014 17:21 (six years ago) link

I did immediately! I'm super sappy :)

*tera, Monday, 17 November 2014 17:50 (six years ago) link

that's great!

example (crüt), Monday, 17 November 2014 17:52 (six years ago) link

Thanks! It was a very "Hey I'm a Mommy!" moment for me.

*tera, Monday, 17 November 2014 18:26 (six years ago) link

ten months pass...

Οὖτις, Thursday, 17 September 2015 16:09 (five years ago) link

a couple years old but still

Οὖτις, Thursday, 17 September 2015 16:09 (five years ago) link

lol @ DJP!!!!

Also "I want a Fancy Lord Taco Esq tshirt please" otm.

the world's little sunbeam (in orbit), Friday, 17 March 2017 15:48 (four years ago) link

Veronica is so meta.

DJI, Friday, 17 March 2017 16:13 (four years ago) link

a father's proudest day is when his daughter makes her first piece of Star Trek TOS fan art

Οὖτις, Monday, 20 March 2017 17:52 (four years ago) link

Really cool figure drawing!

DJI, Monday, 20 March 2017 18:28 (four years ago) link

My two-and-three-quarter-year-old has begun punning and making up jokes. Sample quips:

[We pass some tulips]
"I have tulips, daddy. [points to mouth] On my face!"

[Partner is telling her story of how, before we owned them, our cats were strays rescued from a nearby car park.]
"No mummy - they were rescued in a cat park!"

[She's having toast for breakfast]
Partner: "We need to go to the post office, to post these letters."
Marin: "We could post them in the toast office!"

I mean, okay, that's not "genius", but.

Dysphagia Nutrition Solutions (stevie), Wednesday, 22 March 2017 16:14 (four years ago) link

sounds pretty genius to me

niels, Wednesday, 22 March 2017 16:53 (four years ago) link

MSM decided to make her own homework the other evening. Took a blank piece of paper, wrote out the instructions, wrote out some examples of how to do it, then did it, on the other side of the paper. I guess the assigned homework was unsatisfying, like Monday/Tuesday crossword puzzles

Not the real Tombot (El Tomboto), Wednesday, 22 March 2017 18:30 (four years ago) link

two months pass...

to me this is a fairly obvious reworking of picasso's "las meninas" series of paintings, for example

which of course were in turn versions of the velasquez painting:

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Monday, 12 June 2017 07:22 (four years ago) link

I believe your child is a genius

niels, Monday, 12 June 2017 08:21 (four years ago) link

thank you

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Monday, 12 June 2017 08:41 (four years ago) link


It's always (sunny successor), Tuesday, 13 June 2017 13:53 (four years ago) link

to be clear he did not paint the last two

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 13 June 2017 13:56 (four years ago) link

oh hahaha I really though he did the second last one. Yay for my BFA.

It's always (sunny successor), Tuesday, 13 June 2017 14:05 (four years ago) link

it's an understandable mistake to make, because my child is a genius

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 13 June 2017 15:11 (four years ago) link

three weeks pass...

there's been a bunch of stop motion movies and bread making and art at camp this summer but my favorite thing lately is this perfect band logo she wrote on our kitchen whiteboard

El Tomboto, Sunday, 9 July 2017 02:42 (four years ago) link


Right column Leftist (sunny successor), Friday, 14 July 2017 02:48 (four years ago) link

also look who's learned how to use powerpoint

El Tomboto, Monday, 17 July 2017 19:07 (four years ago) link


El Tomboto, Monday, 17 July 2017 19:08 (four years ago) link

four months pass...

Ben made a new track:

DJI, Friday, 17 November 2017 16:22 (three years ago) link

eleven months pass...

Ben made another one.

DJI, Saturday, 27 October 2018 17:06 (two years ago) link

one year passes...

A couple more Circuit tracks from Ben:

DJI, Thursday, 12 December 2019 19:21 (one year ago) link

four months pass...

This week Ben made this wild track in Ableton:

There’s enough material in there for like 4-5 tracks!

DJI, Sunday, 26 April 2020 04:11 (one year ago) link

two weeks pass...

And another. This one is really pretty.

DJI, Thursday, 14 May 2020 00:13 (one year ago) link

two months pass...

And another one. This is a little chillstep/ambient-ish:

DJI, Thursday, 16 July 2020 20:13 (one year ago) link

three months pass...

Owen has been getting into 80s metal. Here he is trying out the pedal I got him for his birthday:

DJI, Wednesday, 11 November 2020 03:38 (eight months ago) link

Wow! But... think of the neighbours!

Michael Jones, Wednesday, 11 November 2020 12:09 (eight months ago) link

i take it the mask is a homage to agata from melt banana

koogs, Wednesday, 11 November 2020 15:10 (eight months ago) link

In San Francisco we wear masks in our own houses. 🤣

DJI, Wednesday, 11 November 2020 16:41 (eight months ago) link

this kind of goes in the darnedest things thread, but kinda here too. check this out. one of my kids is 9 years old. as we're biking towards the river to get a special lunch today (his class has to quarantine this week - but he's not at risk since he was already quarantining for the previous two weeks as a result of a trip to egypt with his grandmother!) he says this:

"daddy, if they could make everyone live forever... then money would be worth a lot more, right?"

i'm like.... wtf. i.. yes? i think?

"because people would need way more of it, because their lives would be so long. but there would be the same amount of money"

fuckin shit, i think that's right! kind of??

"so then everything would cost less"

i'm losing you, i've always been terrible at this stuff

"so we could buy a computer for like £100"

basically my son is a 9 year old economics genius who is going to figure out how we can all live forever and get computers for £100 each

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 18 November 2020 17:27 (eight months ago) link

Best part about 500 year lifespan? £100 computers!

DJI, Wednesday, 18 November 2020 17:41 (eight months ago) link

one pound for every five years is a tough average

Four Seasons Total Manscaping (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 18 November 2020 19:27 (eight months ago) link

one month passes...

Ben made another soundtrack-ish composition:

DJI, Saturday, 2 January 2021 22:45 (seven months ago) link

two weeks pass...

7yo daughter, on being told she couldn't have a telescope fish as a pet as they're a high-pressure deep sea fish and various other reasons, so she made her own, called 'Boggles'.

— Caustic Cover Critic 📚 (@Unwise_Trousers) January 20, 2021

My daughter made a nightmare fish

Tsar Bombadil (James Morrison), Wednesday, 20 January 2021 07:26 (six months ago) link


Madchen, Wednesday, 20 January 2021 08:43 (six months ago) link


Ray Cooney as "Crotch" (stevie), Wednesday, 20 January 2021 13:18 (six months ago) link

V cool

DJI, Wednesday, 20 January 2021 15:58 (six months ago) link

love it

the serious avant-garde universalist right now (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 20 January 2021 16:06 (six months ago) link

one month passes...

Owen with some shredding:

DJI, Saturday, 6 March 2021 23:39 (four months ago) link

I’ve been terribly lax contributing here for their early years, but since these kids are parented by two ilxors, they are sort of your kids too. They are 13 and 10 now, and without grasping their full provenance, they decided to cover the Strokes.

Kim, Tuesday, 16 March 2021 17:51 (four months ago) link


na (NA), Tuesday, 16 March 2021 18:09 (four months ago) link

also excellent to owen!

na (NA), Tuesday, 16 March 2021 18:10 (four months ago) link

Kim - that is so great! I wish I could get my boys to play together. They are a bit too arguey these days to make that happen.

DJI, Tuesday, 16 March 2021 18:57 (four months ago) link

Ha! Yes, it’s a real struggle. They both like very different things and were just playing over each other and, just tired of the racket I said either play something together, or take turns, and that little magic moment was the result. Time will tell if it ever happens again.

Owen has some real skills!

Kim, Tuesday, 16 March 2021 19:13 (four months ago) link

good kids all round

G.A.G.S. (Gophers Against Getting Stuffed) (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 16 March 2021 21:18 (four months ago) link

four weeks pass...

Ben made another one of his evolving videogame-soundtracky pieces:

DJI, Tuesday, 13 April 2021 15:26 (three months ago) link

Aw, nice!

Michael Jones, Tuesday, 13 April 2021 16:51 (three months ago) link

Beautiful! Love the banger buildup at a minute-and-a-half

Chuck_Tatum, Wednesday, 14 April 2021 09:33 (three months ago) link

my son just told me a great name for a locksmith would be “sure lock homes”

he swears he made this up himself

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Saturday, 24 April 2021 15:54 (three months ago) link

Ok now he just made a trance banger (with chill coda):

DJI, Wednesday, 28 April 2021 00:50 (three months ago) link

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