Best Child Rearing Advice EVER!

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this is from a book i have at the store. it's not even that old. from 2004.

"If your child refuses to put on her shoes, pretend one of her dolls is the Shoe Monster who wants to eat her shoes. The doll says, "Don't put them on - don't put them on - I want to eat them...give them to ME...NOOOOW!!!" When this trick works, she'll have her shoes on in one minute flat."

scott seward, Friday, 3 September 2010 15:27 (eleven years ago) link

hahahaha!

scott seward, Friday, 3 September 2010 15:27 (eleven years ago) link

"When this trick doesn't work, she still won't have her shoes on."

congratulations (n/a), Friday, 3 September 2010 15:29 (eleven years ago) link

"Let's face it, toddlers have it rough. They're small, clumsy, and slow. No wonder they fight us hard - they just want to win occasionally! However, you can give your tyke little confidence boosters to help her feel strong without having to resist you. My favorite confidence-building tactics harness both seriousness and silliness. I call the serious ones "Strength-Builders", the silly ones "Playing The Boob"."

scott seward, Friday, 3 September 2010 15:31 (eleven years ago) link

Scott, this book is the bomb -- what's it called???

Jesus doesn't want me for a thundercloud (Laurel), Friday, 3 September 2010 15:38 (eleven years ago) link

Playing the boob is great, but fuck me, is it ever hard to get a decent tune out of them.

Neggin' you crapative (NickB), Friday, 3 September 2010 15:42 (eleven years ago) link

it's called *The Happiest Toddler On The Block* (The new way to stop the daily battle of wills and raise a secure and well-behaved one to four year old) by Harvey Karp, MD

scott seward, Friday, 3 September 2010 15:52 (eleven years ago) link

Ha before we had the baby, my wife and I watched this DVD of "The Happiest Baby on the Block," which is apparently pretty popular (they sell it at Target), and is mostly about how to calm down your newborn when it is crying. But I think the version we watched was an older version, because it had "four S's" to remember to calm down your baby: swaddling, shushing, (something I'm forgetting), and shaking. The shaking was really more like jiggling, but it seemed a really bad word choice, and I'm pretty sure the newer version doesn't recommend shaking your baby.

congratulations (n/a), Friday, 3 September 2010 15:59 (eleven years ago) link

I like the sound of the book, I really do. Parenting doesn't have to be a battle of wills constantly, does it? My parents treated it like it was, like we had to accept submission to their adult will all the time. It was a real drag iirc. My sister has an almost-3-yr-old now, think I'll get her this book!

small, clumsy, and slow (Laurel), Friday, 3 September 2010 16:12 (eleven years ago) link

You gotta know when to pick your battles. I'm guessing parents who want to win every battle have it rough.

That being said, one time my son (age 2 at the time?) wouldn't open the sliding door to go into the backyard, even though he wanted to play out there. He wanted one of us to do it. I didn't want to! It was a dumb power game, but fuck it, I wasn't going to give in. But I also knew that he saw it the same way, & he was being really loud, screaming etc. The main obstacle to opening the door was taking out a wooden pole that we keep there to bar the door at night. So I told him that we should play that the pole is a snake, and that he should wrestle the snake out of the door so that he could go outside. This sounded fun! He played along, stopped screaming, wrestled the snake pole, & out he went.

We still call it the snake pole, five years later.

Euler, Friday, 3 September 2010 16:18 (eleven years ago) link

Genius.

small, clumsy, and slow (Laurel), Friday, 3 September 2010 16:24 (eleven years ago) link

I have this book. Also, happiest baby on the block. Also, 'Potty train in less than a day'. Apparently, I'll buy anything.

sunny successor, Friday, 3 September 2010 16:26 (eleven years ago) link

here is what you do if you are "Playing The Boob" with your child:

be incompetent

be clumsy

be blind

be weak

be easily hurt

be a baby

be wrong

be easily outwitted

be arrogantly incorrect

be a pushover

be absurd

be forgetful

example of being absurd: "say in a goofy voice, "Please eat your shoe!! Please - PLEASE!! I command you to eat it!! Okay, you win, but it's not FAIR!! You always win. I NEVER get to win!!!! (I wouldn't use this approach if you have a soft-hearted child, but if you have a competitive little Stone Ager, you'll get a grin a mile long!"

"Playing The Boob is exactly like wrestling and letting your child win or playing hide-and-seek and pretending you can't find her. It's merely a form of flattery - one of the most basic and ancient tools of diplomacy!"

scott seward, Friday, 3 September 2010 16:28 (eleven years ago) link

how did this thread end up here? i've never been here. weird.

scott seward, Friday, 3 September 2010 16:36 (eleven years ago) link

I have uh...this one, which is basically an extreme form of the same.

Q: What's small, clumsy, and slow? A: A toddler. (Laurel), Friday, 3 September 2010 16:36 (eleven years ago) link

this thread is awesome.

progressive cuts (Tracer Hand), Saturday, 4 September 2010 12:41 (eleven years ago) link

lol @ "competitive little Stone Ager"

"Not in a great place" meaning mentally? or Oregon? (Matt P), Saturday, 4 September 2010 18:38 (eleven years ago) link


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