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Think we might be approaching this time with Howie -- in the last few days he has done a wee on the potty every night at bathtime, and asked for the potty this morning.

I have TEH FEAR over putting him in pants and spending the next x weeks wiping up accidents (especially as I'm glued to a breastfeeding newborn half the day) so am considering going via pull-ups, and leaving pants til he is reliable at letting me know when he needs to go. OTOH some say it's best just to stick 'em in pants and put up with the mess for a while...

So... any tips?

Meg (Meg Busset), Tuesday, 16 June 2009 12:40 (twelve years ago) link

Honestly I had a phobia of potty training. It was the ONE thing I was scared of (when thinking of having kids). First time I tried it, it was a big epic FAIL (on my part and thus also on O's part). I stopped and tried again after a while. I would not recommend training pants (diapers). I would just take the mess: it's much more cumbersome (?) for the kid and thus s/he'll learn it much quicker. What I did was just ignore the mess. I'd pick her up, immediately shower her and put new clothes on without being angry. Of course I'd say that it would be easier to go on the potty. Like duh. If he's asking for it: DO IT!!!!!

One thing: ask him every hour or so. This makes him aware of potty training.

I GOTTA BRAKE FREEEEE (stevienixed), Tuesday, 16 June 2009 16:03 (twelve years ago) link

Also, maybe you can get training pants like the ones I got from Japan. They are underwear with a double layer. It'll still be annoying for the kid but much less mess. If you really can't find'em, I could send you some old ones Ophelia used? It's for girls but VERY comfy. I feel for you with breastfeeding. Let me know: stevienixed # gmail.com If you don't mind using uh second-butts ones. :-)

I GOTTA BRAKE FREEEEE (stevienixed), Tuesday, 16 June 2009 16:05 (twelve years ago) link

Ok, was that a really nasty offer on my part? :-( Sorry if it is.

I GOTTA BRAKE FREEEEE (stevienixed), Tuesday, 16 June 2009 16:09 (twelve years ago) link

Ah, that's a kind offer but I've seen them on sale over here -- thanks anyway!

Think we are going to keep him in nappies for now (but get him used to going on the potty), then maybe later in the summer try letting him run round without anything on for a week and see what happens.

Meg (Meg Busset), Wednesday, 17 June 2009 20:14 (twelve years ago) link

Are you guys getting an actual potty? like one of those tiny toilets? im so grossed out at the thought of cleaning those things out even though i deal with poop diapers everyday. beeps needs to start the training soon but is still pretty scared of the big toilet even with the little potty ring around it and definitely cant get up there herself.

I wish I was the royal trux (sunny successor), Thursday, 18 June 2009 07:46 (twelve years ago) link

actually PP deals with 99% of the poop diapers, to be fair.

I wish I was the royal trux (sunny successor), Thursday, 18 June 2009 07:47 (twelve years ago) link

Yes, he wees in a potty, which is easy enough to clean up. But he hasn't done a poo in there yet. That's going to be fun.

Meg (Meg Busset), Thursday, 18 June 2009 12:03 (twelve years ago) link

Nah, it's easy. Chuck it down the lav, quick wipe, rinse, splosh, then a slightly more thorough clean. I found outdoor lavatorial exploits more stressful to be honest.

And we get to do it all again with Lulu, starting at the end of next month. Hurrah.

Michael Jones, Thursday, 18 June 2009 14:37 (twelve years ago) link

MJ - the aplomb that you dealt with a potty emergency in a rather full tube carriage would indicate that it will be a breeze for you.

problem chimp (Porkpie), Thursday, 18 June 2009 15:36 (twelve years ago) link

And that's the last time I ride the Northern Line after four shots of espresso...

Michael Jones, Thursday, 18 June 2009 15:37 (twelve years ago) link

SS, the potty is great! I look at the potty and think: WOHA another diaper I didn't have to change. :-)
The potty is great because it's visible for the kid which means they are more aware of it.
I clean it out with REALLY HOT water: this way 90 procent is gone and the rest is wiped away.
Michael is right: going to public restroom is more stressful.

I GOTTA BRAKE FREEEEE (stevienixed), Friday, 19 June 2009 11:36 (twelve years ago) link

so what's the deal with nighttime? still haven't gotten rid of diapers in the night. :-( i hate waking up even more. hah

Sookeh, I vant to suck your titties (stevienixed), Thursday, 2 July 2009 08:03 (twelve years ago) link

i can't believe it's going to be another like.. what.. 1 1/2 years before l's doing this??

Tracer Hand, Friday, 3 July 2009 00:59 (twelve years ago) link

so what's the deal with nighttime? still haven't gotten rid of diapers in the night. :-( i hate waking up even more. hah

we're being very lazy about this. i think a week of wet bedsheets is all it would take, but we haven't wanted to deal with it. definitely past due for us.

us_odd_bunny_lady (tipsy mothra), Friday, 3 July 2009 04:37 (twelve years ago) link

a friend of my mom's grew up in a family of TWELVE. she claims that her mother, as soon as each kid turned six months old, put them on the potty after every meal and waited until they pooed or peed. ba-DOOM.

Tracer Hand, Friday, 3 July 2009 10:59 (twelve years ago) link

My wife came up with this genius thing. Essentially it's a bribing system in the form of a interactive poster that was hung up beside the potty. Everytime our daughter used the toilet she got to take one of the Hershey Kisses plus she got a ton of stickers each time. When all the chocolates were gone she won a trip to the zoo. This thing was suggested by an episode of that English Nanny show (the TV nanny didn't glue poo-shaped chocolates onto her version LOL).

everything, Friday, 3 July 2009 18:18 (twelve years ago) link

Also, in my personal experience, once they've kinda got the idea of sitting on the potty and maybe peed in it a few times it's best to just take em out of diapers permanently during the day. There follows a couple of days of frantic anxiety, following them around everywhere and continually asking if they have to go to the toilet. Usually they get it after three or four days at most. Accidents will happen but it's a short sharp shock that's much better than 6 more months of diapers. Holding it in is easier for them to learn than letting it go, so with the caveat that every child is different, they are more typically going to try to indulge in some self-inflicted constipation to avoid the potty, rather than just expelling everything when they feel like it.

everything, Friday, 3 July 2009 18:25 (twelve years ago) link

nine months pass...

Three weeks into proper potty training and we finally got a poo on the potty!

He got wees sussed on day one, apart from the occasional minor accident. Today he came home from pre-school wearing some yellow frilly Fifi & The Flowertots knickers. Presumably some lucky girl has been sent home in his red Roary pants...

Meg (Meg Busset), Friday, 23 April 2010 20:59 (eleven years ago) link

haha. bee got the poop down right away. the pee has been the trickiest for us. now shes wearing underpants at home but we play it safe with pull ups when we go out.

no more springs no more summers no more falls (sunny successor), Sunday, 25 April 2010 06:11 (eleven years ago) link

actually i should say pp does. hes pretty much done 100% of the potty training from day one. im more a 'you need to go now??? ugh just do it in your diaper. dont worry about it' parent

no more springs no more summers no more falls (sunny successor), Sunday, 25 April 2010 06:12 (eleven years ago) link

most horrifying moment so far: when i realized shes referring to her underwear as 'panties'.

no more springs no more summers no more falls (sunny successor), Sunday, 25 April 2010 06:13 (eleven years ago) link

We didn't get started with Tallulah until late last summer (she was already older than Ava had been when she started) and it was a struggle and we sort of gave up, resigning ourselves to a winter of pull-ups. Starting afresh in February this year, we instigated a reward system (stickers for #1, chocolate buttons for #2) and while she was excellent with weeing, she completely failed to recognise when she needed a poo. As we've had her in underwear the whole time (pull-ups only at night), that became rather expensive. Practically every other day we'd have to dump another pair of pants in a nappy sack in some public loo's bin. I got used to carrying a spare change of clothes everywhere in my camera bag.

About three weeks ago she finally cracked it. A six-day holiday in Europe by train and the only accident she had was my fault - taking her on a complete tour of the menswear section at Ilium in Copenhagen in a fruitless search for the loos when she was clearly desperate. She's still in pull-ups at night but they're always dry and we probably only need to buy one more packet of those. Like, EVER! As we phase those out, we'll also encourage her to be as self-sufficient as Ava (i.e., we don't need to come in with her, she can clean herself up).

Amazing to think this phase (started in July 2007 with Ava) will finally be over.

Michael Jones, Sunday, 25 April 2010 09:10 (eleven years ago) link

We are having exactly the same issues with Alice re. pooing, sigh. Did you start doing anything different or did Lulu just get there on her own? Almost every day A. comes home from nursery in different clothes and I don't know how far their tolerance will stretch (they've also had her in the sink for a complete wash-down on a couple of particularly messy occasions). I'm not sure whether she has a conscious fear of going for a poo or whether she just doesn't realise until it's too late.

Archel, Wednesday, 28 April 2010 09:31 (eleven years ago) link

We had three weeks of poo accidents before cracking it. In the end outright bribery did the trick -- thank god for Smarties.

Meg (Meg Busset), Wednesday, 28 April 2010 12:37 (eleven years ago) link

Ok, I'm definitely going to try the bribery route now. Alice starts 'big nursery' (separate building for the 3-5 year olds) next week and it's time to crack this thing.

Archel, Thursday, 29 April 2010 13:15 (eleven years ago) link

Lulu seemed to just get it. She went from "stops playing, fleeting look of concentration on her face, retreats behind sofa and says, 'Don't be cross with me.'" to sing-song "I need the toyyet!" in about two days. She doesn't even ask for the choc buttons any more.

However: tried her in pants last night and they were a little damp this morning, so the Age of the Pull-Up is not quite over.

Michael Jones, Thursday, 29 April 2010 13:30 (eleven years ago) link

I think we're going to jump on the bandwagon. A's been playing at it at nursery but due to poo issues (witholding and becoming constipated = horrible never ending misery) I've not wanted to push it at home. That issue seems to have cleared itself up now so I think it may well be all systems go.

Not sure how to approach our commute though, what does anyone think? A and I spend an hour and 15 mins each way travelling into work/nursery on the train, not exactly great potty training territory....

Vicky, Thursday, 29 April 2010 14:14 (eleven years ago) link

TBH if he's not capable of going that long between potty visits then he's probably not ready to train. So maybe take a few days off work, put him in pants and see how he goes -- if he can last 2-3hrs then as long as he wees before you go then he should be fine. Porta-potties are a godsend at a pinch!

Meg (Meg Busset), Thursday, 29 April 2010 19:30 (eleven years ago) link

I hadn't thought about it that way but you're right. Will be trying pant free on sunday and monday and see how we get on!

Vicky, Friday, 30 April 2010 08:02 (eleven years ago) link

three weeks pass...

How's it going, Vicky? Amazingly Howie has been in pants at night for two weeks now, and we decided to go cold turkey to ditch the potty a couple of days ago.

Meg (Meg Busset), Sunday, 23 May 2010 19:50 (eleven years ago) link

I gave up again. I don't want to push it and have more poo issues, and he was never going of his own accord. They're still using the potty at nursery and some days he's fine and others he comes home with lots of wet pants. I'm going to wait a bit longer and see whether he starts going of his own accord rather than just being reminded to go.

Dry at night, clever boy!

Vicky, Monday, 24 May 2010 07:44 (eleven years ago) link

"when its a number two i look like number one" lolz

just makes me think of:


no more springs no more summers no more falls (sunny successor), Saturday, 29 May 2010 18:08 (eleven years ago) link

We start Elisabeth in july. Hurrah! I am fed with (expensive) pampers. Lol

Nathalie (stevienixed), Friday, 11 June 2010 23:08 (eleven years ago) link

I hear that. At least we only have one lot of nappies now -- but I'm not planning on training A 'til he's three so we've got another two years to go!

Meg (Meg Busset), Saturday, 12 June 2010 12:53 (eleven years ago) link

My friend claimed both her kids did it before the age of two?!? Anyway I'll be really happy that part's over. Potty training is not my forte. :-(

Nathalie (stevienixed), Tuesday, 15 June 2010 09:47 (eleven years ago) link

nine months pass...

haha. i am scared of potty training, but i guess we'll have to get going on it soon. our friends with a slightly older kid did this potty training "boot camp" kind of thing where it was like an intense weekend of not leaving the house ... which sounded terrible, but it seems to have worked?
anyhoo, my daughter's main verbal thing now is "book-a-book-a-book-a!" repeated over and over when she wants to read a book. or read another book.

― tylerw, Wednesday, 16 March 2011 17:56 (Yesterday) [IP:] Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i think it doesn't have to be that bad! in our experience it took a good 15 minutes of insisting that he sit on the toilet/potty, which wasn't easy, but we bribed him with stories and promises. but that kind of broke his resistance.

now we insist he sits on the potty every, ooh i don't know 30 minutes? 45 minutes? it's been going on now for 2 weeks and we're starting to get to the point where we believe him when he claims to not need to pee. as far as going out goes, we bring lots of changes of clothes. we don't actually need them most of the time. he only wears a nappy at bedtime now.

i recommend a nice high step for the toilet. the little low steps aren't high enough to get on there. i also recommend one of these potties - http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0045ILEG2/ref=asc_df_B0045ILEG22318536?smid=A3P5ROKL5A1OLE&tag=googlecouk06-21&linkCode=asn&creative=22206&creativeASIN=B0045ILEG2

- the seat part can go on the real toilet if you want
- there's a little pan which is a lot easier to wash out than the entire potty
- it LOOKS more like a real toilet, which can be good (if they want to do what you do)

40% chill and 100% negative (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 17 March 2011 12:23 (ten years ago) link

thx for the tips! yeah, i guess the first step is getting one of these potties.

tylerw, Thursday, 17 March 2011 17:57 (ten years ago) link

ten months pass...


go on

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Sunday, 5 February 2012 14:38 (nine years ago) link

we're getting going on this. she actually seems pretty ready to go, I think it's mainly down to us adjusting to the new lifestyle. diapers are easier!

tylerw, Sunday, 5 February 2012 20:33 (nine years ago) link

She's been peeing on the toilet since the summer. then, when the twins were born, we kind of didn't push her to poop on her potty at all. We'd offer, but she'd always say "not yet, but pretty soon." so now she's on the waiting list for a pre-school in our neighbourhood that asks for kids to be 100% toilet trained. So we started saing, okay, now you poop on your potty. And after about a week, she finally did. Twice. Since then she's peed her pants like three times a day, sometimes doesn't even say anything until we change activities or whatever. And she craps her pants now too. And I just started back at work this weekend doing three 12-hour shifts.
I know that a little regression is normal. I just wish it was over.

Nd obviously I can't let her know how effing sick I am of cleaning up her piss and shit, so I'm venting here.

well, get ready for another step back when she starts preschool :(

my son has had no accidents for like (looks back and reads thread) 10 months but now he's started nursery school and in the first week he peed his pants like five times.

you might need to go back to the whole every-half-hour-she-sits-on-the-potty-regardless-of-whether-she-wants-to schtick

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Monday, 6 February 2012 13:10 (nine years ago) link

diapers are easier

this is the thing. it is really at least as much about the parents being ready, as the kid, imo

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 7 February 2012 17:49 (nine years ago) link

our experience seems to have been a bit unusual - she took to peeing on the toilet with pretty much no problem. we did the thing where you make 'em drink a whole lot and then 20 minutes later put them on the toilet so that they connect the feeling of needing to pee with being on the toilet and then after a little bit they do it on their own. pooping was much harder - she would just hold it until we put a diaper on her before going to bed, and THEN she would take a dump. It wasn't until we refused to put a diaper on her for the night until AFTER she'd pooped on the toilet that she started to get it. It took awhile though. Now at 4 yo she's poopin like a champ on the regular before she goes to bed.

max buzzword (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 7 February 2012 22:20 (nine years ago) link

and yeah she started a preschool last September that required her to be "100% potty-trained". Which she wasn't at the time, really, cuz she was still pooping in a diaper at night, but we took the chance that she wouldn't be pooping during the day and it all worked out.

max buzzword (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, 7 February 2012 22:22 (nine years ago) link

Beeps is about to hit 5 y/o in early March. She is potty trained but if she is doing something she likes ie watching a tv show she likes or drawing, she will just pee in her pants. I know this is not a medical issue. I also know you shouldnt punish children for not using the potty because they end up setting cats on fire and eventually morph into serial killers.
Anyway, we've talked to her about it. Ive even told her that when she starts kindergarten in august she will get lunch detention for peeing her pants (fact btw). Ive also pointed out that its getting to the stage where everyone ij her class is fully potty trained and if she is still peeing her pants she'll become known as the girl who smells like pee for years to come. None of this has had an effect. Now we are seriously considering time outs. Is this and my previous attempts at shame going to fuck her up? Anyone else been in this situation?

Analyzing metrics on my cheapness and whorishness (sunny successor), Saturday, 11 February 2012 14:24 (nine years ago) link

Time-outs would be legit and not an overreaction imho. We always tried to make it more of a business transaction than a shaming though. "You owe me 15 minutes in time-out, payable immediately. Sorry, no appeal." Take the drama out of it and they'll be less likely to turn into pet torturers or whatever.

Steamtable Willie (WmC), Saturday, 11 February 2012 16:59 (nine years ago) link

or make her sit on the toilet every 1/2 hr - she will maybe realize she prefers the alternative?

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Saturday, 11 February 2012 22:38 (nine years ago) link

I am paying attention here, reading this thread closely and keeping things in mind because this is something I fear approaching in the future. I have only had dogs, cats and a rabbit and they all taught themselves. I have heard potty training gone wrong can lead to all sorts of behavioral and emotional issues which only serves to up the pressure. I cam here thinking there would be book titles but quickly realized that is of no use because every child and situation is different.

I have one very vivid memory of sitting on the potty and having my mother, grandfather and the next door neighbors, who were an older couple, in the bathroom all staring down at me saying different things to encourage me to poop. The neighbor dangled a piece of candy in my face. I can't remember how all that made me feel though.

I have been told I used a potty chair that was on display in a window at a JC Penney's and what an embarrassing mess that was for my mom. I can't remember that incident but I truly believe it is the source of these disturbing recurring dreams I have had my whole life of defecating in public.

*tera, Saturday, 11 February 2012 23:54 (nine years ago) link

you were workin on that bucket list early..

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Sunday, 12 February 2012 16:35 (nine years ago) link

started doing this in earnest over the weekend -- and things went great! at least at first... kid told us when she had to pee, seemed to get the mechanics of the whole process. except she didn't poop! she went from Friday afternoon to Monday night without doing it -- which became stressful.... but she finally did it right before bedtime last night. hopefully she'll be more regular from now on. eek!

tylerw, Tuesday, 21 February 2012 16:15 (nine years ago) link

Haha that has happened to us a few times. That's gotta feel fucking magnificent when it finally happens

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 21 February 2012 16:18 (nine years ago) link

yes there was much rejoicing.
other than that little hiccup, she is doing remarkably well! but talk to me next week, it'll probably be another story.

tylerw, Tuesday, 21 February 2012 16:20 (nine years ago) link

this is going pretty well, surprisingly enough. she seems able/willing to hold it if we're not near a restroom while out and about. only issue is that in other regards she's sort of regressed -- wants to be held all the time, is super-clingy. Not entirely sure if this is potty-training related, but it seems likely. And she was *already* super clingy, so it's getting a little ridiculous -- especially for my wife, since she's the favored nurturer at the moment.

tylerw, Monday, 27 February 2012 15:58 (nine years ago) link

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