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a) when did you first realize your child had a "bedtime"
b) how long does it take you to put them to sleep
c) how have a) and b) changed over time?

Tracer Hand, Wednesday, 21 January 2009 20:42 (thirteen years ago) link

a) Think it happened around 3 months -- until then we just had him in the front room with us until we went to bed. Gradually started putting him in his crib a bit earlier til it got to 7ish.

b) Up til about 7/8 months he would breastfeed to sleep so as long as that took.

c) Bedtime is now a bit later than when he was little (8pm) because he started waking hellishly early if put down any earlier. Now he sleeps a full 12 hours and I've kind of got used to not getting up til 8am, but that will have to change when he starts pre-school! Also, now he just goes in his cot and we leave the room, although it is not unknown for one of us to have to go back in because he has chucked his toy giraffe out of the cot and started bawling.

If I can add d)... I used to worry SO MUCH about all this stuff when Howie was small, was I setting up bad habits, would he ever sleep more than an hour without waiting, would we ever get our evenings back? With hindsight I really needn't have worried -- it all changes so quickly as they get older and their sleep cycles mature and they become more able to settle themselves.

Meg (Meg Busset), Wednesday, 21 January 2009 21:17 (thirteen years ago) link

I mean without waking, not without waiting, duh

Meg (Meg Busset), Wednesday, 21 January 2009 21:18 (thirteen years ago) link

a - It was less a realization, and more that we forced one on them. One that is around 7pm.
b - We don't put them to sleep. We put them in their beds, and they go to sleep.
c - Their bedtime got a little earlier when they went from two naps to one nap. Now it's moved out to around 7:30. Once they lose the nap, it will probably move back to 7 for a while. As for how long they take to fall asleep... Well, it seems to take longer and longer. We're at the point where we can put them into bed at 7, and they can take up to two hours to go to sleep. If one of them is extra tired (skipped their nap, etc.), then usually they will fall asleep pretty quickly. And then, at that point, the other one goes to sleep too (nobody to talk to). If neither of them are particularly tired, however, they will chitter chatter forEVER. They squeak, squeal, and yell the alphabet back and forth at each other. They giggle, and yell out "mommy" and "daddy." They ask for water and talk about their day to each other. Pretty cute and sometimes annoying.

schwantz, Wednesday, 21 January 2009 22:43 (thirteen years ago) link

a - It was less a realization, and more that we forced one on them. One that is around 7pm.

what i'm particularly interested in here is the ages involved.. when did you start putting them to bed at 7?

Tracer Hand, Thursday, 22 January 2009 01:39 (thirteen years ago) link

WE didn't do bedtime until about 10 months. At first we just put Aidan down for naps in the pram downstairs and then when he had a feed around our bedtime we'd put him in the moses cot in our bedroom. When we moved him into his own room at 7 months we'd put him to bed after a feed around 8-9pm, then at around 10 months we started to put him to bed at a regular time, which was 7.30 - 8pm.

Vicky, Thursday, 22 January 2009 10:22 (thirteen years ago) link

this sounds a bit like what we're doing so far.

i just realized i'm also very interested in when your kids moved into their own rooms! can i make that (d)?

Tracer Hand, Thursday, 22 January 2009 10:31 (thirteen years ago) link

d) Recommendation is 6 months at the earliest -- before that is linked with an increased risk of cot death.

Meg (Meg Busset), Thursday, 22 January 2009 12:47 (thirteen years ago) link

Not that it was an issue for us, as we didn't have a spare room until we moved house when Howie was already 6 months old. Even then he spent at least part of most nights in bed with me until 9 months...

Meg (Meg Busset), Thursday, 22 January 2009 12:49 (thirteen years ago) link

With Ophelia I established a rather strict routine which she certainly appreciated. I put her in a seperate room from the age of four months. Before that she'd get a BF at seven, wake up at 11 pm again for a BF and sleep through till seven AM. From four months, the second day I put her in the seperate room, she slept through from 7 till 7. Heaven. Elisabeth? God damn that's another story. The first year was HELL. I'm not exaggerating. I think it was a combo of me being much more relaxed about feeding and she just being a light sleeper. You walk next to her room and she wakes up. argh. You can FLY by her room and she'd still wake up. :-( Now she has a rather okayish sleeping routine. But the year has been exhausting beyond belief. I sometimes cried cause I couldn't take it anymore. There were a few times I regretted BF-ing (but quickly realized it was cause I was just so fucking exhausted).

d) Recommendation is 6 months at the earliest -- before that is linked with an increased risk of cot death.

They recommend four months here. As soon as your baby sleeps through.

One of the key things to avoid cot death is not having high temps in the room or overdress your baby (esp when s/he sleeps). We put both in the fridge. (I'm joking duh)

Nathalie (stevienixed), Friday, 23 January 2009 10:12 (thirteen years ago) link

Oh yes, going to sleep haven't been a problem for both. I quickly did a routine. I would walk out of the room after a kiss on the forehead. If you really adhere to a routine, they know it's time for bed/sleep. (Like Elisabeth knows as soon as I go with her to Ophelia who gives her a gentle kiss and stroke on the head.)

Nathalie (stevienixed), Friday, 23 January 2009 10:16 (thirteen years ago) link

They recommend four months here. As soon as your baby sleeps through.

*snort* Aidan didn't sleep through until 14 months. My neice on the other hand, also BF, was sleeping 12 hours from about 2 months

More info about sleeping - I used to feed Aidan to sleep (waiting to be shot down) I think I stopped doing that around 10 months I think (so hard to remember these things now!), when I started wondering if that's why he woke up in the night, whether he was used to feeding to sleep and so needed to feed to sleep again if he woke up. As you can see it didn't solve the problem... Some babies just wake up in the night and need help getting back to sleep.

Vicky, Friday, 23 January 2009 10:41 (thirteen years ago) link

Well, Elisabeth didn't either. What they mean is that at four months, to make it easier for'em to sleep through, is to put'em in a seperate room. If you keep'em in the same room, the noise (of you coming for example) will awaken'em more easily.

Well, point the gun at me: one of the RONG things I did was BF to calm her down (like you) but then I decided to wait. She'd cry a little (according to everyone except me, I thought she was hysterical) and then fall back asleep. My husband and friends and parents kept telling me she wasn't hysterical but I was convinced she was. I'm a bit sensitive I guess when it comes to crying. I just want to cuddle'em and make'em happy again. Of co course that's wrong: they do need to learn how to fall asleep on their own.

Nathalie (stevienixed), Friday, 23 January 2009 12:18 (thirteen years ago) link

I feel like a bad mother for letting her cry at first. But after a few weeks she's doing much better. :-)

Nathalie (stevienixed), Friday, 23 January 2009 12:19 (thirteen years ago) link

beeps slept though at 3 weeks but i still say this is more to do with her 11pm-12am bedtime. we have her down to 9pm now. 7pm is ridiculous for us since she doesnt get home from daycare until 5:30 and she still needs to eat. eat. we would never see her. that 7-8pm (pre-bath) hour is PRECIOUS

tacos, fettucini, linguini, martini, bikini. (sunny successor), Friday, 23 January 2009 16:59 (thirteen years ago) link

uh, I just got 8 straight hrs of sleep for the first time in 7 weeks. Wow. Woke up in total panic though, as previsou record was just over 4 hrs. I guess crying like a tortured maniac for five hrs straight tires a little girl out.

Oh Why, Sports Coat? (Dr. Superman), Friday, 23 January 2009 18:28 (thirteen years ago) link

Five hours' crying? Sounds tough. Colic?

Meg (Meg Busset), Friday, 23 January 2009 19:13 (thirteen years ago) link

God, I hope not. She's usually pretty easy to calm down. She seems to grow out of whatever technique I figure out to soothe her after a week, though, and I guess it took me longer to figure her out this time.

Oh Why, Sports Coat? (Dr. Superman), Friday, 23 January 2009 19:48 (thirteen years ago) link

uh, I just got 8 straight hrs of sleep for the first time in 7 week

HAHAHAHA. I didn't have this for like 15 MONTHS. Actually I still wake up cause I'm so used to it. Friends of my parents had a kid that cried like for 24 hours and only slept a couple of hours. She was a total wreck. Apparently her husband also slept very little. Can you imagine?I'd go absolutely bananas.

Nathalie (stevienixed), Saturday, 24 January 2009 13:24 (thirteen years ago) link

Howie had colic from around 6 weeks, seemed to go on forever. He would start crying around 6pm and keep going til he flaked out around 10ish. White noise, having him in a sling, Infacol and giving him a dummy were involved in getting through it, as far as I can remember (it's very hazy but will no doubt come back to me in April!).

Meg (Meg Busset), Saturday, 24 January 2009 19:09 (thirteen years ago) link

DR SUperman i have 2 words for you GRIPE WATER. Im not even kidding here.

tacos, fettucini, linguini, martini, bikini. (sunny successor), Saturday, 24 January 2009 20:44 (thirteen years ago) link

one day beats cried and screamed for 8 hours straight. PP made a mad desperate rush across town to the only place that sold gripe water back then. we gave it to her and had a happy baby within 10 minutes.

tacos, fettucini, linguini, martini, bikini. (sunny successor), Saturday, 24 January 2009 20:46 (thirteen years ago) link

we're using gripe water and it seems to have no effect :/

Tracer Hand, Sunday, 25 January 2009 18:52 (thirteen years ago) link

what's gripe water?

i like to fart and i am crazy (gbx), Sunday, 25 January 2009 18:55 (thirteen years ago) link

use more! (xp)

e - a savior to us all:

wiki: Gripe water is a home remedy for infants with colic, gastrointestinal discomfort, teething pain, reflux and other stomach ailments. Its ingredients vary, and may include alcohol, bicarbonate, ginger, dill, fennel and chamomile. It is typically given to an infant with a dropper in liquid form, and adults may also take gripe water for soothing intestinal pains, gas or other stomach ailments.[1]

tacos, fettucini, linguini, martini, bikini. (sunny successor), Sunday, 25 January 2009 19:01 (thirteen years ago) link


i like to fart and i am crazy (gbx), Sunday, 25 January 2009 19:02 (thirteen years ago) link

Tracer have you tried Infacol? It worked wonders for us.

Meg (Meg Busset), Sunday, 25 January 2009 21:02 (thirteen years ago) link

Infacol was much better than gripe water (definitely no alcohol in the UK version!) but I always had trouble remembering to give it to him before I fed him, which was a bit of a problem. Apparently there's an even better but more expensive thing you can get from the chemist that quite a few of my friends swore by, but I've completely blanked on the name. I'll see if I can find out... - Colief

I meant to go to a cranial osteopath with Aidan, but I had to cancel the appointment because of mastitis/abscess and never got round to making another one. But again, loads of people swear by it. There's a place in Clerkenwell that's a charity and you pay them what you can afford....

Vicky, Sunday, 25 January 2009 21:27 (thirteen years ago) link

we used up our bottle of infacol. isn't the idea with all of this stuff that it makes the many little bubbles of gas which are making him writhe coagulate into just a few large bubbles, so that when they come out it has more of an effect?

thanks for the tips all, i may try the colief.

vicky what is with cranial osteopathy??

Tracer Hand, Monday, 26 January 2009 00:09 (thirteen years ago) link

It sounds a bit weird, doesn't it! But I guess it kind of makes sense - depending on delivery there might be pressures on their skull etc. that shouldn't be there, which make them unsettled... So a cranky baby isn't necessarily all blocked up with wind, they could be uncomfortable for other reasons, which is why infacol etc. doesn't always work...

Other things it might be - if Emma's still breast feeding it could be something in her diet. Onions is often a cuprit, or spicy food.

Vicky, Monday, 26 January 2009 09:33 (thirteen years ago) link

Vicky, Monday, 26 January 2009 09:34 (thirteen years ago) link

There is a school of thought which holds that colic is simply a response to the massive sensory overload of being in the world. In which case anything you try is just something to make you feel you're doing something, while your kid gets it out of their system...

Meg (Meg Busset), Monday, 26 January 2009 12:59 (thirteen years ago) link

meg i have this deep sense of that ^ being right simply because it fits with so much else of how the world seems to work

Tracer Hand, Monday, 26 January 2009 13:28 (thirteen years ago) link

also from what i understand every human culture, comprising every diet imaginable, has folk songs relating to trying to get babies to go to bed

Tracer Hand, Monday, 26 January 2009 13:29 (thirteen years ago) link

we use mylicon (sounds the same as colief) before bottles/milk pre-bedtime. gripe water is really more appropriate for a defcon 1 type situation

tacos, fettucini, linguini, martini, bikini. (sunny successor), Tuesday, 27 January 2009 17:52 (thirteen years ago) link

I think we've been very lucky with A & T - no great traumas early on, generally good sleepers as babies.

Of course, now they're a little older, it gets a lot more complicated. A lot of bargaining goes on. You can never tell whether a day of outdoorsy activity will leave them shattered and ready to zzzz upon contact with pillow or wind them up so much they won't let you leave the room. A bath sometimes soothes...and sometimes doesn't. We try to maintain a routine but it's just a lottery.

At the moment, I try to get them upstairs by 7:30 (bath every other night). Ava can undress and dress herself (if she feels like it, but you're adding another 10min there). Lulu loves the milk/bunny/pyjamas/nappy change routine and usually falls asleep while I'm in the middle of my first book (I nominally read to both, but I'm at Ava's bedside and Lulu's in her cot, so she can't actually see the book; on the occasions when Lulu joins us for the story, I can't get her into her cot).

It's usually three books chosen from the rotating cast of a dozen or so in Ava's bedside cabinet (she has milk too) and then a couple of improvised stories where she does the outline and I flesh it out. Ava likes people being in grave danger/trapped/covered in poo at the moment. If it's been a school (nursery) day, then Ava will have borrowed a book from their library and I'll write up what she thought of it (she's wise to my box-ticking methods - "Yes, I would read it again...THIS is my favourite picture...and I liked it when THIS happened") and she'll illustrate it with a picture (my favourite so far: "20 boys playing football in the long grass" - a mad splurge of circles, dots and lines).

Then it's a kiss and goodnight. That's the ideal anyway. The reality is often 30min more whining and negotiation, sometime full-on tantrums, occasional bad dream interruptions and (usually) Ava crawling in with us about 2am.

Michael Jones, Thursday, 29 January 2009 14:14 (thirteen years ago) link

okay heres something. i remember (from a lomng time ago) some expert of tv saying dont let your kid drink milk before bed because its bad for their teeth all nihgt. how can milk be bad for teeth? i thought milk was v pro-teeth.

tacos, fettucini, linguini, martini, bikini. (sunny successor), Thursday, 29 January 2009 14:37 (thirteen years ago) link

coke, which is bad for your teeth is also bad for you keyboard when you spill a 20oz bottle on it.

tacos, fettucini, linguini, martini, bikini. (sunny successor), Thursday, 29 January 2009 14:38 (thirteen years ago) link

Milk contains natural sugars (lactose) so if it rests against the teeth all night (ie if the kid hasn't had their teeth brushed after milk) -- and particularly if the kid has a bottle all night -- it can speed up tooth decay.

Meg (Meg Busset), Thursday, 29 January 2009 16:29 (thirteen years ago) link

schwantz i'm still interested about when you decided to impose the bedtime. at 2 months? three? six? ten?

i have to say i don't think our dude has colic. he's just a champion fusser at times. but he sleeps real good at night (so far).

Tracer Hand, Sunday, 1 February 2009 03:15 (thirteen years ago) link

I think it was around 4 months. At that point, Ben would still wake up for a snack at 1am, but Owen would sleep through the night. However, this was when we were freaking out about Ben (he had seizures at 3 months), and Owen seemed to pick up on it, and helped us out by sleeping through the night. Once we calmed down (around 6 months), Owen started waking up again. At around 7 months, we finally did the cry-it-out routine. Turned out it only took one night, and then they were doing 7-7.

schwantz, Sunday, 1 February 2009 17:13 (thirteen years ago) link

How do you actually convince yr baby to sleep? Have been putting her in the sleepsack, dimming the lights, turning down the volume, etc, around 9 p.m., but she won't sleep until after midnight unless I put her in the Snugli and go for a walk. MY LEGS ARE KILLING ME. Last night I just put her in the Snugli and walked around the apt until she drifted off. Then I sat down and promptly konked out myself for three hours.
Not a pattern I want to establish, but, man, I gotta sleep too!

Oh Why, Sports Coat? (Dr. Superman), Wednesday, 11 February 2009 19:40 (thirteen years ago) link

How old is she? Howie used to need walking/rocking/feeding/cuddling to sleep for many months. I wouldn't worry about bad habits at this age, just do what you gotta do.

Meg (Meg Busset), Wednesday, 11 February 2009 20:12 (thirteen years ago) link

Yeah, it took a long long time before Megan would even fall asleep at a somewhat reasonable hour.

Nicolars (Nicole), Wednesday, 11 February 2009 21:04 (thirteen years ago) link

she's nine weeks. and she's actually proving to be pretty pattern-proof anyway. what works one day won't work the next. Except the Snugli. God bless it.

Oh Why, Sports Coat? (Dr. Superman), Wednesday, 11 February 2009 21:06 (thirteen years ago) link

Also, she doesn't seem to be napping much during the day, except when her mom takes her out in the stroller or snugli. I kinda think this is affecting her ability to sack out at night, too tired to sleep, etc.
Though this week she's discovered her hand, and has at least twice calmed herself back to sleep by gnawing on it. Unfortunately, her coordination is still pretty random and she's just as like to land a finger in her eye as her mouth, which sets her off worse.

Oh Why, Sports Coat? (Dr. Superman), Wednesday, 11 February 2009 21:12 (thirteen years ago) link

God, I don't think Howie was going to bed before 1am at nine weeks and even then he would often sleep only on my chest! And I had to walk him round the block five times a day to get him to nap (he would only nap on the move and only for 30 mins at a time, you could set your watch by it).

It won't last forever, I promise!

Meg (Meg Busset), Wednesday, 11 February 2009 23:11 (thirteen years ago) link

Do any of you cheat and take the babe for a drive in the car? I know several people who find this technique very successful.

Madchen, Sunday, 15 February 2009 13:21 (thirteen years ago) link

ive done that twice. it worked once (the first time, obv.)

to inspire myself, i turn to myself (sunny successor), Sunday, 15 February 2009 17:13 (thirteen years ago) link

Howie always used to fall asleep in the car -- very handy when going to visit relatives, as we could time the journey to coincide with his nap and have peace and quiet all the way. Sadly, the last couple of times we've driven anywhere this has failed to work, as the prospect of shouting "Car! Bus! Truck!" is far too exciting to sleep through.

Meg (Meg Busset), Sunday, 15 February 2009 21:36 (thirteen years ago) link

yeah - you know, i am probably just making that up and it's something else entirely. parenthood is like this giant game of making up stories that help you make sense of things. i bet we're right 50% of the time MAX.

Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 21 July 2009 12:09 (twelve years ago) link

(I know there's a photo quarantine thread, but allow me this one transgression... if you want your kids to sleep on a couple of folded duvets on the floor at their nan's, tell them the story about the princess and the pea... NB, may not work with boys)

Michael Jones, Tuesday, 21 July 2009 13:07 (twelve years ago) link


Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 21 July 2009 16:52 (twelve years ago) link

We have just started Alice's transition from cot to bed, though being poor we have not actually forked out for a bed yet, just removed one side of the cot (which is very low and still plenty long enough for her). First night - found her in the middle of the carpet at 4am, whimpering a bit but still half-asleep. Last night - found her UNDER the bed at 5.30am. I don't think she's been falling out so much as sliding herself off, but is this normal? Should we have got a proper bed with a guard? Or is she just not ready?

Archel, Monday, 27 July 2009 08:34 (twelve years ago) link

We tried this a while ago, when Beeps was a little over 2, but would find her wandering down the hall not knowing where she was or rattling the gate at the top of the stairs at 1am. "They" say you shouldn't make the move until the kiddo is three because they cant grasp the concept of the imaginary walls of a bed yet. Alice must be close to three though. My friend had pretty much instant success with her almost 3 year old by pushing the bed against a wall and using a guardrail. So maybe making them feel as confined as possible is the trick? Let us know how it goes and what works for you guys because weve got to get Beeps out to make way for kid no2 soonishly.

Hillary had Everest in his veins (sunny successor), Monday, 27 July 2009 11:34 (twelve years ago) link

Alice isn't three until December and maybe she does it find it too confusing, although very much likes the *idea* of a big girl bed...

Archel, Monday, 27 July 2009 12:55 (twelve years ago) link

Update: after the first couple of nights A has been a dream with the bed, in fact the only problem now is stopping her from getting in it while she's still fully dressed! Once she worked out that she could get herself up in the morning she was delighted, and will happily play in her room for half an hour before coming to find us.

Archel, Tuesday, 4 August 2009 09:56 (twelve years ago) link

Woah Nice! Did you do anything differently or was it just a matter of getting used to it?

Hillary had Everest in his veins (sunny successor), Tuesday, 4 August 2009 13:28 (twelve years ago) link

We didn't do anything different, just kept bunging her in and hoping for the best! She does have a wall on one side of her which I think has helped.

Archel, Tuesday, 4 August 2009 15:57 (twelve years ago) link

three weeks pass...

Howie went into his big bed on Saturday! So far so good, apart from a slight confusion about duvets and the use thereof (cue screams at 1am of "Mummy! Mummmeeeee! I WANT IT ON!!!!!!!!!" as one leg is ever so slightly sticking out from under the duvet). And pillows seem to be for sleeping next to, not on:

Meg (Meg Busset), Wednesday, 26 August 2009 12:57 (twelve years ago) link

three months pass...

I'd like one week of uninterrupted sleep. I got two nights of sleep! But last night was just horrendous. I didn't sleep from one till 4. ARGH. When will this stop? I really need my sleep back. :-(

Nathalie (stevienixed), Saturday, 12 December 2009 20:40 (twelve years ago) link

how's it going?

how old are yours again? have they always been trouble at night?

Tracer Hand, Friday, 18 December 2009 21:47 (twelve years ago) link

dudes. 5 days of henry sleeping from 10 - 7am. Actually he woke at 5 this morning but he did sleep until 8:30am to make up for it earlier in the week. hes kind of a champ for a 7 week old

drinking coke in the kitchen with a kid that doesnt know his n (sunny successor), Monday, 21 December 2009 21:00 (twelve years ago) link

Wow you must breed good sleepers!

Meg (Meg Busset), Monday, 21 December 2009 22:26 (twelve years ago) link

Sunny, can you come and teach my kids to sleep.

TH, they are 2 and almost four. This night was hellish yet again. First Ophelia woke up for a glass of water. (Not that it matters: I placed a glass next to her bed previously and she just woke up and demanded sth else.) Then Elisabeth woke up several times. She was wide awake: giggling for a good 15 minutes... and then screamfest again. It was two am when I went back to sleep. They woke up at seven. I was so out of it, I nearly ran into a wall. lolz

Ophelia was great until the age of about 2,5. Elisabeth has been a ride in hell since she was born. Actually no, the first three weeks she slept. Then it was hell. lolz but not really

Nathalie (stevienixed), Tuesday, 22 December 2009 09:18 (twelve years ago) link

Someone we know recommended this book, but I don't know:
The amazon page has endorsements from Greg Kinnear, Ben Stiller and Conan O'Brien! So there's that, haha. We have been incredibly lucky with Sylvie so far -- so much so that I hesitate to even talk about it for fear of jinxing. For the past 2 weeks, she's pretty much been sleeping from 9ish to at least 7am, w/o waking up. She'll make a little noise from time to time, but then falls right back to sleep. She's only 4 months, so teething hasn't even started yet. I expect that'll put an end to these long nights.

tylerw, Tuesday, 22 December 2009 16:46 (twelve years ago) link

Any recommendations on transferring a 5 month old from a swing to a crib? She doing great right nows (generally sleeps from 9:30 pm to 6:30 am), so I don't want to mess anything up. But our pediatrician seems to think that if we wait any longer she'll have a real hard time getting used to it. Also, how old were your kids when they started sleeping in cribs? Part of me wants to wait a few more months because of SIDS concerns.

Darin, Thursday, 31 December 2009 20:53 (twelve years ago) link

The boys both went into a big cot around 4 months as they outgrew the little crib we had. I just put 'em in there and hoped for the best (Howie was a terrible sleeper before and after -- Archie pretty much slept through as soon as he went into the cot).

Meg (Meg Busset), Thursday, 31 December 2009 23:40 (twelve years ago) link

what is a swing??

Talking about these things:

We transitioned her from a bassinet to this around 2 1/2 months, I think. It totally saved our lives at the time. Unfortunately, she immediately wakes up when we try placing her in the crib when she falls asleep. I think she's gotten used to being in a cradled postion while sleeping.

Darin, Friday, 1 January 2010 17:18 (twelve years ago) link

How about something like this in the crib, to make her feel more secure?

Meg (Meg Busset), Friday, 1 January 2010 21:28 (twelve years ago) link

Oh yeah, I forgot about those things. We may try that. Thanks!

Darin, Friday, 1 January 2010 21:40 (twelve years ago) link

Wow, I think here they would strongly advise against a swing. For several reasons, mainly because they claim such things are bad for the back. Hell, we can't even use it too long during the day.

ANYWAY bedtime?What the hell is that? This night was a record. Elisabeth was awake and frigging playing in her bed until she had a screamfest. During that time, until 4 AM, Ophelia would come to our bed and demand to sleep with us. I know some would succumb and we have in the past. But 1 it's a bad idea (this night case in point, she is stubborn) and secondly we get no sleep because the bed is too small for three people. Honestly I am trashed beyond belief. Every other day it's more or less like this. Not a week of solid sleep goes by. Maybe once a while we get some sleep, like eight hours. But most of the time one or both wake us up.


Okay, sorry, had to rant and moan. No wonder my sinus infection doesn't go away. My throast is hoarse and my eyes bleary.

Nathalie (stevienixed), Thursday, 7 January 2010 08:18 (twelve years ago) link

Our Alice would never go in a cot. She could be completely zonked, but the very second we transferred her from arms to cot, she'd jump up and yell.

There was a spare normal bed in her room as well, so we put her on that instead (with the cot alongside to prevent fall-out), and that was fine.

Mark G, Thursday, 7 January 2010 09:41 (twelve years ago) link

I have now resorted to sleeping half an hour (or less if it's doable) with Ophelia... in her bed.

Nathalie (stevienixed), Friday, 15 January 2010 19:29 (twelve years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Sunny, can you come and teach my kids to sleep.

nath, beeps slept through from 3 wks with the occasional expected restless teething night etc until she turned two. i think shes slept through the night maybe twice since then and shes turning 3 in less than a month. in the end we caved to cosleeping (her starting in her bed and ending up in ours anywhere between 12-4am). Co-sleeping was probably the only thing we were really against as new parents but when it comes down to getting 2 or less hours sleep a night and the consequent frayed nerves and fights i guess youve just got to go with what keeps you all sane.

no more springs no more summers no more falls (sunny successor), Thursday, 4 February 2010 04:12 (twelve years ago) link

also i should say i completely credit all of this infant sleeping to the miracle blanket.

no more springs no more summers no more falls (sunny successor), Thursday, 4 February 2010 04:13 (twelve years ago) link

wtf seriously? it seems bizarre that she could suddenly turn around and just not sleep through anymore.

Tracer Hand, Thursday, 4 February 2010 11:12 (twelve years ago) link

Now that Aidan is in a bed we notice that he often doesn't 'sleep' through. Sometimes we'll get woken up by him shouting 'mummy! mummy! etc. but he'll go back to sleep, some nights (like last night) he'll actually get out of bed and come through to and pat me on the face or hand to wake me up. Just because the parent doesn't wake up doesn't mean the child doesn't. I think when he was in the cot he just settled himself and went back to sleep quicker than he does now he knows he can get out of bed.

Vicky, Thursday, 4 February 2010 12:19 (twelve years ago) link

i am going to have to learn more patience than i currently possess if my child starts patting me on the f'in FACE while i am trying to sleep

Tracer Hand, Thursday, 4 February 2010 12:31 (twelve years ago) link

it's kinda cute, he does it ever so gently. Luckily he's happy for me to lead him back to his bed, I give him a quick cuddle then say night night.

Big tip on how to avoid it though - make sure you are sleeping furthest away from the door as they always go for the nearest side. I am kicking myself that I didn't do anything about it before now.

Vicky, Thursday, 4 February 2010 13:18 (twelve years ago) link

Howie doesn't seem to realise he can actually get out of bed in the night (we put a stair gate across his room just in case!).

He does wake once or twice most nights though, mostly in need of a drink of water or to fish out Igglepiggle from down the side of the mattress. Occasionally he thinks it's cute to pretend to be a kangaroo and kick the side of the bed for half an hour in the middle of the night.

Meg (Meg Busset), Thursday, 4 February 2010 19:56 (twelve years ago) link

One of the cutest things I ever experienced: I went to check up on O. I looked at her very close - I really love seeing my kids sleep - and she woke up, lifted her head and said: "FRUIT!" and went back to sleep. lol Other times she just smiles rrrreally sweetly and strokes my face. :-)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) <3

Nathalie (stevienixed), Thursday, 4 February 2010 21:12 (twelve years ago) link

Well, we almost have Chloe out of the swing now. Things got all screwy when she got a cold/ear infection/teething, but I suppose that's par for the course. She's actually sleeping really well at 5 1/2 months. Right now she goes to bed at 7 - 8 pm, gets up to eat around midnight, and then sleeps in until 6 am. Is that unusual? Does this mean something awful is about to happen or something???

Darin, Thursday, 4 February 2010 21:16 (twelve years ago) link

something awful is always right around the corner but it is invariably proceeded and followed by something astoundingly great

no more springs no more summers no more falls (sunny successor), Friday, 5 February 2010 05:37 (twelve years ago) link

I knew I shouldn't have posted the "elisabeth sleeps through" . she came into our bed at around 12 am. Then a few hrs later it was Ophelia's turn. She slept with me until the morning.


Nathalie (stevienixed), Friday, 5 February 2010 10:26 (twelve years ago) link

The girls, about an hour ago (they NEVER do this):

Michael Jones, Friday, 5 February 2010 22:55 (twelve years ago) link

<3 <3

So they share a room? What age from? The boys will need to go in together at some point but not sure how that's gonna play...

Meg (Meg Busset), Friday, 5 February 2010 23:14 (twelve years ago) link

Also, Howie still doesn't know what his pillow's for, and sleeps curled up in the middle of the bed with the duvet right over his head.

Meg (Meg Busset), Friday, 5 February 2010 23:16 (twelve years ago) link

Well, we finally got their room sorted out in Mar '07 when Ava was just past her 2nd b'day and Lulu was five months. At that point it was a bed and a cot; since May '09 they've had identical Ikea beds (it's never looked this good since):

Michael Jones, Friday, 5 February 2010 23:30 (twelve years ago) link

Guys, I need some... support. Be frank, I don't give a shit if you say I'm crazy or stupid for saying what I'm about to post.

Every night Ophelia comes to our bed. Now this wouldn't be that big of a problem if our bed was big enough. But it isn't. So one of us needs to go sleep in her (big single bed). It has happened that Elisabeth has awakaned and cuddled up next to Ophelia in our bed. You can't really refuse when she sees O sleeping in our bed. We're at the same point as E's sleepless period (first 15 months or so). We're wrecked. I can't really say no, I just let her sleep in our bed. But my husband is, understandably, not happy. Has anyone made a firm point and refused their kid(s) in their own bed?

How long does this period - of sleeping in parents' bed- really last? It can't be that long, right?

Nathalie (stevienixed), Friday, 19 February 2010 08:40 (twelve years ago) link

See, this is what happens when you let them out of the closet at night.

Tracer Hand, Friday, 19 February 2010 11:18 (twelve years ago) link

Nath I know loads of families who play musical beds with their kids in the middle of the night. And nobody who still does it with a teenager, so they must grow out of it at some point! I'm always in favour of the solution that gets everyone the most sleep, so if you all sleep OK in together then why not -- is getting a bigger bed an option?

OTOH if it's stopping you sleeping then why not try some gentle ways to fix it. Some friends of mine had success getting their three-year-old to stay in his own bed with a night/day alarm clock like this one -- Or how about a reward chart?

Meg (Meg Busset), Friday, 19 February 2010 21:02 (twelve years ago) link

Nath, we haven't cracked this problem at all.

Ava comes in with us less than she used to - perhaps seven nights out of every ten rather 19 out of every 20 (as it was up to a year ago) - and if it's just her then there's virtually no sleep disruption. But if it's Tallulah too (perhaps one night in four), then there's no way we can get through the night. Either I have to try and sleep in about four inches of bed, or they fight for space keeping us all awake, or - if I'm lucky - Lulu is so heavily under at the point at which her presence wakes me that I can carry her back into her room without further disturbance. I have gone and slept in Ava's bed before but it's the least-favoured option as it leaves Lulu on the edge of our bed and me out of earshot of the alarm.

Michael Jones, Monday, 22 February 2010 17:40 (twelve years ago) link

Okay, knock on wood, suddenly she has been sleeping through the night much more. Of course discounting that one night when both woke up and slept in our bed. But I was able to get them back into their own bed.

TH, lolz. :-)

Nathalie (stevienixed), Friday, 26 February 2010 12:49 (twelve years ago) link

two months pass...

Friend updates F'book status at 8:30, says he is Ferberizing (cry it out) one of his sons. Through the comments, he and his wife make it known that the Ferberizing son used to go to sleep at 8:00, but lately it has been more like...9:00. A later comment from the dad, left close to 9:00, says "Oh, there he goes again." They are not losing sleep over their son -- who might not need as much sleep as he once did, you know? -- and they are getting tough over one bloody hour. I doubt their older son slept through it.

Antoine Joubert Singers (Andy K), Tuesday, 27 April 2010 12:52 (twelve years ago) link

My nerves wouldn't make it, I promise you. Co-sleeping is the only way I will survive.

wasting time and money trying to change the weather (Laurel), Tuesday, 27 April 2010 12:58 (twelve years ago) link

Beeps stopped co-sleeping with us when she got a newly decorated room w/ twin bed that has a princess canopy. I totally miss it.

no more springs no more summers no more falls (sunny successor), Tuesday, 27 April 2010 20:36 (twelve years ago) link

I loved co-sleeping with Howie. There is nothing like waking up with a baby snuggled alongside you. But Archie never really went for it, he slept much better in his own room. Plus being able to breastfeed lying down is the key to restful co-sleeping and even now Archie won't latch on lying down.

Meg (Meg Busset), Tuesday, 27 April 2010 21:30 (twelve years ago) link

one month passes...

Same here. Ophelia never went for co-sleeping. Elisabeth still is a very fussy sleeper. But y'know you have to adapt. Be flexible. I do realize I was (and still am) very quick to run if she cries. The other day I went to the attic after I put her to bed for her afternoon nap. She cried. I decided to just go up for a minute. She stopped after two minutes. lol

I'm not a big fan of co-sleeping as I tend to roll over. I know many say that a mom will wake up if she rolls on top of her child, but I woke up once or twice with her lower body under mine. I worry way too much. But she's older now and I see less danger in doing it. :-) But I did co-sleep (when necessary, when she wanted).

Nathalie (stevienixed), Thursday, 3 June 2010 11:16 (eleven years ago) link

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