ILX Parenting 6: "Put Some Goddamn Pants On Before You Go Outside!" is a thing I say now

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have at it

Οὖτις, Friday, 10 July 2015 19:51 (six years ago) link

"because I'M the parent!" is a thing *I* say now.

UYD: Oxys, Percs, Vics, Addys, Rit-Dogs and Xannys (sunny successor), Friday, 10 July 2015 20:47 (six years ago) link

I find myself saying giving the weirdest instructions sometimes

Οὖτις, Friday, 10 July 2015 21:00 (six years ago) link

completely frivolous post but: ex-coworker pregnant w second baby. she's naming it "Macyn" and I am pretty IA about it tbh

ugh. just call the fuckin kid mason jeeeeeeezus christ almighty

difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 14 July 2015 19:48 (six years ago) link

boy or girl? I'm guessing girl.

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Tuesday, 14 July 2015 22:50 (six years ago) link

just intentionally mispronounce it from now on

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 14 July 2015 23:00 (six years ago) link

"makin? like yr makin a baby?"

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 14 July 2015 23:00 (six years ago) link

we've moved beyond the "why" stage to the "no" or simply ignoring stage which is slowly sapping my will to live and/or self-image as a nice guy

transparent play for gifs (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 15 July 2015 12:53 (six years ago) link

Hey all. Haven't been around for a while but K now has a baby sister, E. 👨‍👩‍👧‍👧

five six and (man alive), Thursday, 16 July 2015 00:58 (six years ago) link

Good job.

Jeff, Thursday, 16 July 2015 01:02 (six years ago) link

Oh yay! I was just thinking about you, man alive, and hoping you'd come back and say hello. Congratulations!

from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Thursday, 16 July 2015 01:45 (six years ago) link

Aw! Nice to not be forgotten by ILXORs, at least a few nice ones.

five six and (man alive), Thursday, 16 July 2015 01:47 (six years ago) link

yes you were missed dude

marcos, Thursday, 16 July 2015 02:12 (six years ago) link

we even posted in the ilx milk carton thread a while back iirc

marcos, Thursday, 16 July 2015 02:13 (six years ago) link

anyways good to have a new thread

J is starting to ask "what is ____" about everything, it is really cool, like he is really trying to get at the deeper meaning of it, e.g. he has been eating oatmeal for a good two years now but now he wants to really know "what is oatmeal???"

marcos, Thursday, 16 July 2015 02:15 (six years ago) link

haha also xp man alive i misread your post to say "K now has a babysitter, E" so i did not comment b/c that seemed unremarkable, but yea congratulations!

marcos, Thursday, 16 July 2015 02:24 (six years ago) link

So yeah, two kids is pretty crazy. OTOH in the final months before the birth I hustled hard and found a better job -- better pay AND more flexible with time, and that's been making things a lot easier.

five six and (man alive), Thursday, 16 July 2015 03:13 (six years ago) link

Oh awesome! Congratulations on the new job AND the new baby!

from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Thursday, 16 July 2015 03:17 (six years ago) link

yeah two kids is nuts. fwiw three is not as nuts as two is, in case you're inclined in that way

we just flew back to the usa for a couple of weeks and my kids did well, but then my youngest is 8 so why would it be bad. tons of movies on demand with the little screens, they keep bringing you food and drinks, you get to snuggle, what's not to like.

droit au butt (Euler), Thursday, 16 July 2015 12:01 (six years ago) link

fwiw three is not as nuts as two

this needs explaination

UYD: Oxys, Percs, Vics, Addys, Rit-Dogs and Xannys (sunny successor), Thursday, 16 July 2015 17:36 (six years ago) link

two is fucking crazy

marcos, Thursday, 16 July 2015 18:45 (six years ago) link

I assume when you have three you let the oldest child be in charge of the other two. Parenting over!

Οὖτις, Thursday, 16 July 2015 18:46 (six years ago) link

im dying here w/ 2, it is intense

my mom had 5 and i just can't even comprehend that

marcos, Thursday, 16 July 2015 18:48 (six years ago) link

i think maybe people who say the jump to 3 is not a big deal is maybe because at that point the older ones are a little more manageable since they are older?

marcos, Thursday, 16 July 2015 18:49 (six years ago) link

also some of you may recall i mentioned J's autism diagnosis on the previous thread, things were super stressful for a long while especially after F's birth but things do seem to be falling into place a little w/ his services and planning for preschool next year. we found some really incredible home-based therapists and b/c of his diagnosis J also got offered a spot at one of our city's best public schools allowing us to bypass some of the anxiety-inducing byzantine lottery process. one benefit i guess to having a kid with special needs. also J is just doing amazingly well right now and we've seen so much growth and progress, it is really hopeful.

marcos, Thursday, 16 July 2015 18:54 (six years ago) link

Oh good! That's good to hear.

from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Thursday, 16 July 2015 19:21 (six years ago) link

Thanks for the update Marcos, that's good to hear.
My friend with 3 kids says the jump to 3 is the craziest ever. You only have 2 hands for a start!

kinder, Thursday, 16 July 2015 19:44 (six years ago) link

Yeah I've heard that 3 is the hardest - harder than two, harder than four.

LOL survey says - http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/07/three-children-is-most-st_n_3229032.html

I think we'll stick with one to be on the safe side.

from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Thursday, 16 July 2015 19:58 (six years ago) link

http://adequateman.deadspin.com/14-things-you-will-say-to-your-kids-a-million-goddamn-t-1717985943

I would add "Put on your shoes" to this list.

Immediate Follower (NA), Thursday, 16 July 2015 20:11 (six years ago) link

Ivy's only 19 months so some of those don't apply but we're already well on our way with "Careful," "You're fine," and "Don't eat that."

from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Thursday, 16 July 2015 20:16 (six years ago) link

yeah I dunno with #3, #1 was already 6 years old, so didn't need the kind of management that newborns do, and got along well with #2 so our lives were fine. plus we knew what we were doing by that point, at least as well as we ever were going to. but when #2 was born...I don't know how we survived tbh

droit au butt (Euler), Thursday, 16 July 2015 20:44 (six years ago) link

Oh god, "careful!" is getting a lot of use now, as well as the related "gentle hands!" F's top three words are "no", "nono" and "nonononononono".

Madchen, Thursday, 16 July 2015 20:55 (six years ago) link

"Did you take another bite of your dinner yet?"

how's life, Thursday, 16 July 2015 21:03 (six years ago) link

Ivy's daycare teachers use the Spanish "linda" to mean "nicely," which Ivy picked up on early so we say that instead of "gentle hands." And we say that a lot... Also my mom's old favorite: People are not for hitting. People are for loving. Usually said through gritted teeth after Ivy smacks my glasses off my face.

from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Thursday, 16 July 2015 21:15 (six years ago) link

our perfect granddaughter, who always slept through the night even from birth and has never been the slightest bit difficult during year one, has FINALLY has her first tantrum, tried to scratch her mom with her little fingernails. we breathed a sigh of relief tbh, thank god she's not some pod person experiment and is actually human.

I have a couple of new Isolde pics as well, will post later

sleeve, Thursday, 16 July 2015 21:31 (six years ago) link

Damn straight.

from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Thursday, 16 July 2015 22:00 (six years ago) link

"gentle hands" wtf does that mean, like what is the situation

transparent play for gifs (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 16 July 2015 23:47 (six years ago) link

pets?

difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 16 July 2015 23:48 (six years ago) link

ime it is another way of saying "don't scratch my fucking face, boy"

marcos, Friday, 17 July 2015 00:06 (six years ago) link

Yeah like "don't hit scratch slap pinch me/your dad/this other child/the cat."

from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Friday, 17 July 2015 00:39 (six years ago) link

"What did I just say?" is another thing I say a lot.

Οὖτις, Friday, 17 July 2015 02:39 (six years ago) link

I've been trying to get a little more real about "rules" lately, especially with eating, e.g. I keep repeating "we don't get something else until we finish what we have," because she has a really annoying habit of asking for something, taking a few bites and then asking for another thing. Also trying to stop snacks in the stroller and carseat so she'll actually eat her goddamn meals instead of snacking all the time, but that one is challenging (because on the morning where she DOESN'T eat her goddamn breakfast, you feel guilty sending her to school hungry).

five six and (man alive), Friday, 17 July 2015 04:51 (six years ago) link

Also we have a grandparent who sees her every week and undermines all this

five six and (man alive), Friday, 17 July 2015 04:51 (six years ago) link

gah, that thing when your newborn is finally asleep and completely quiet and then you keep checking every twenty minutes to make sure they're alive.

five six and (man alive), Friday, 17 July 2015 05:02 (six years ago) link

:)

difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 17 July 2015 05:19 (six years ago) link

double congratulations, man alive!

estela, Friday, 17 July 2015 05:28 (six years ago) link

small man still alive

wisdom be leakin out my louche douche truths (k3vin k.), Friday, 17 July 2015 05:29 (six years ago) link

So I may have missed something, but I think Nora only woke at midnight and 3am last night. It's 7am now and she's still asleep. And it's Em's birthday.

Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Friday, 17 July 2015 06:18 (six years ago) link

Ha, I slept straight through a 5am waking..,

Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Friday, 17 July 2015 06:24 (six years ago) link

Happy birthday Em. I was just thinking I hadn't seen her over at the other place for a while. If it's any consolation, our sleep has gone back into a bad pattern after having a really good thing going for a couple of months. Hoping we find that groove again.

kinder, Friday, 17 July 2015 08:33 (six years ago) link

some of the author thinks about her own kid seem weird/unkind/projection. but glass houses and stones is my take on that!

glad you liked it cow_art!

𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Friday, 20 August 2021 17:30 (three months ago) link

My son had ridiculously horrible colic for the first 6 months and it honestly kind of broke me - I don't hold it against him but it really affected how I dealt with issues like leaving my spouse home alone with him for a long time.

joygoat, Saturday, 21 August 2021 14:42 (three months ago) link

Just got an introductory powerpoint presentation about the 5th grade team at my daughter's school today. Her teacher lists her favorite store as Hobby Lobby and her favorite restaurant as Chik-Fil-A. Dog-whistle or just a crummy coincidence?

peace, man, Wednesday, 1 September 2021 12:37 (two months ago) link

As of today my child knows Father Christmas doesn't exist. It's been emotional!

kinder, Wednesday, 1 September 2021 14:57 (two months ago) link

How did that happen? It was really emotional when my son found out. He was very upset and accused us of lying. I haven't probed my daughter's thoughts on the matter, but we have sorta phased out the tooth fairy with her and have never been good about changing our handwriting for the xmas gifts. She has a cooler head, anyway.

peace, man, Wednesday, 1 September 2021 15:01 (two months ago) link

XXP sounds like a dog whistle to these ears 😕

DJI, Wednesday, 1 September 2021 15:01 (two months ago) link

so... you are a dog

Robert Cray-Cray (Ye Mad Puffin), Wednesday, 1 September 2021 15:02 (two months ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5OY_H2_rQ8

DJI, Wednesday, 1 September 2021 15:15 (two months ago) link

XPs it was a fucking children's book from the 50s that casually mentioned a nice mother who puts presents in stockings. FFS. But he has definitely suspected for the last Christmas or two (he's only 6!) Anyway he's questioned us before and we've brushed it off with vague chats about the story of Santa etc, but he is very scientifically minded and doesn't really do nuance, he knows magic isn't real even though we have discussed how some amazing real things seem like magic if we can't explain them. In the end he asked repeatedly who puts the presents in, and I asked if he wanted to know the real story or the nice magic story. So I confirmed what he probably knew (when I asked what he believed, he said he half believed it was us and half believed it was Santa) and he cried! Felt awful. But he was fine again a few minutes later. I think he was partly crying because the presents aren't 'free' and we have to buy them! In our house it's just small (unlabelled) stocking-fillers from Santa anyway and main presents from family etc.

He brought it up a few days ago and we attempted to put it off until after this Christmas... he's under strict instruction not to mention it around his little sibling, or any other children. We've always tried not to overdo it or overtly lie too much but I don't think that makes much difference if they buy into the belief.

I suspect he believes/d far less in the Tooth Fairy too and would've started putting two and two together, especially as his best friend's mum warned us he doesn't believe in fairies...

kinder, Wednesday, 1 September 2021 15:32 (two months ago) link

my strategy so far has been "wow, if he isn't real, then who's been buying all those presents?" but I think they both (6&10) have known for ages

fc_TEFH28mo (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Wednesday, 1 September 2021 15:40 (two months ago) link

The north pole tracker thing kept our kids believing for a couple more years when they were starting to question. They were done by age 8 or so, though.

DJI, Wednesday, 1 September 2021 15:42 (two months ago) link

Santa is always tricky with Jewish kids in a school with a lot of Christian kids, bc you're torn btw not ruining it for other kids and not wanting to sell your own kids on a myth that isn't really part of your thing. Was never really sure what to do with it.

I will say that with the tooth fairy I sort of eased my kids out of it. It was too much fun keeping it going, so what I did was just sort of got more elaborate and outlandish with the explanations and stories and winked at my kids about it so that they could stay in on the fun and enjoy belief while gradually having the difference between fantasy and reality come into sharper relief. Our tooth fairy has left them some pretty detailed notes and drawings, and we had all kinds of stories about what she does with the teeth, how she manages to cover all the ground, etc.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Wednesday, 1 September 2021 15:46 (two months ago) link

We never figured out when my son (who is 13 now) stopped believing in Santa Claus. I am pretty sure he at some point must have thought that if he admitted to not believing in him, he wouldn't get an extra Christmas present from Santa anymore (our kids generally got one present from us and one from Santa). Basically, continuing to believe kept the presents coming, so he chose to continue to believe. A kids version of Pascal's wager.

silverfish, Wednesday, 1 September 2021 16:16 (two months ago) link

I started telling my kid that none of these existed from as early age as possible. Disappoint them from the beginning rather than years later.

Jeff, Wednesday, 1 September 2021 19:03 (two months ago) link

I like the tooth fairy idea!

kinder, Wednesday, 1 September 2021 19:59 (two months ago) link

I go the other way from Jeff and invent lots of other lies to tell them too, who knows, maybe they do exist?

fc_TEFH28mo (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Wednesday, 1 September 2021 20:17 (two months ago) link

F gets incredibly angry if people even mention the tooth fairy to him, he sees it all as a monstrous lie perpetuated on children. He also expects the tooth fairy's duties to be carried out to the letter, so he dutifully leaves his tooth under his pillow and expects to wake up to cash.

stet, Thursday, 2 September 2021 09:53 (two months ago) link

yeah I've worked with people like that

fc_TEFH28mo (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Thursday, 2 September 2021 10:16 (two months ago) link

lol stet

I don’t know what to do about Santa when the baby’s old enough to care. Was raised Muslim, didn’t celebrate Christmas; was coached by my parents not to ruin the whole Santa’s not real thing for my classmates. Am still kind of militant about the experience of being a religious minority in a Christian imperialist culture. Husband’s fam is evangelical Christian and Christmas is a big deal to them, but he’s no longer personally religious. I think it will likely mean a lot to his parents that our kid buy into the Santa thing. Part of me is like, who cares? and part of me feels a weird sense of loss at the dilution of my father’s insistence that one could be American and not celebrate Christmas.

horseshoe, Thursday, 2 September 2021 12:36 (two months ago) link

to be fair, Santa Claus is about the most innocuous thing my evangelical in-laws will likely try to indoctrinate the baby about.

horseshoe, Thursday, 2 September 2021 12:37 (two months ago) link

some kids seem to enjoy there being a fantasy world which could be or could not be real, some are dead set against this and want everything clearly delineated, I seem to have one of each of these

fc_TEFH28mo (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Thursday, 2 September 2021 12:44 (two months ago) link

He was very upset and accused us of lying

he was correct! you were lying!

mark s, Thursday, 2 September 2021 13:15 (two months ago) link

Yeah, he wasn't wrong. It was a sad scene. He held on to the belief until 5th grade I think, which was a few years longer than I did when I was a kid. His mother and I had discussed early on whether we should let him believe in Santa. She was slightly against, but I was very in favor. Something about "kids need to believe in magic" that I'm now not sure is true. Also the awkwardness of being a kid hiding a secret from his other friends. He has always been a terrible keeper of secrets - like, known to blab about things we tell him to keep private. If we had been upfront with him at a younger age, I'm sure a significant portion of his daycare would have been questioning their belief in Santa. Again, at the time I didn't want that on my head, but at this point I couldn't care less.

peace, man, Thursday, 2 September 2021 13:36 (two months ago) link

when I was young my dad was a dedicated atheist and my mum was a practicing Catholic, so I had the odd experience of going from the hippy commune we lived in to Sunday school at the local church, cannot conceive how she thought I would keep it up.

anyway, point is that for quite a while I was dead set against any/all lying to kids, but since having my own I've done a bit of a 180 on this, feel like teaching kids to trust entirely in established facts and logic holds them back from (eventually!) making peace with our fundamental irrationality as a species, so many of the best things in life are just not interesting when viewed through a binary true/false perspective, I think my younger son at least kind of gets this. I'm still against religious schooling but have mellowed a great deal on it now. I don't want them to grow up to be atheist edgelords, though my oldest seems to be heading in that direction already, so maybe my approach doesn't work for him, or maybe he needs it most.

fc_TEFH28mo (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Thursday, 2 September 2021 14:06 (two months ago) link

some kids seem to enjoy there being a fantasy world which could be or could not be real, some are dead set against this and want everything clearly delineated, I seem to have one of each of these

So otm.

kinder, Thursday, 2 September 2021 15:01 (two months ago) link

anyway, point is that for quite a while I was dead set against any/all lying to kids, but since having my own I've done a bit of a 180 on this, feel like teaching kids to trust entirely in established facts and logic holds them back from (eventually!) making peace with our fundamental irrationality as a species, so many of the best things in life are just not interesting when viewed through a binary true/false perspective, I think my younger son at least kind of gets this. I'm still against religious schooling but have mellowed a great deal on it now. I don't want them to grow up to be atheist edgelords, though my oldest seems to be heading in that direction already, so maybe my approach doesn't work for him, or maybe he needs it most.

― fc_TEFH28mo (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Thursday, September 2, 2021 9:06 AM (eight hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

This is well put. I think it's life-enriching to push at the borders of imagination and reality sometimes, as long as you know what you're doing. To a certain extent our lives are all governed in part by narratives that have at least some element of unreality to them, or at least have a dimension that lacks grounding in provable reality.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Thursday, 2 September 2021 22:12 (two months ago) link

I’ve swore I’d never be anything but totally honest with my kid about Santa but it was so easy to just maintain the ruse when he was a toddler and excited about things. I’ve been cagey and non-commital though, with lots of “that’s what people say” and “what do you think?” when he asked questions. It didn’t come up much last year but being quarantined meant he didn’t have any contact with other kids to exchange information. Now that he’s started school 528 days leaving preschool I’m sure there will be more questions and some other kid will hopefully spoil it.

joygoat, Friday, 3 September 2021 02:43 (two months ago) link

Sometimes I just run out of gas and stop talking and interacting. I’m not going to feel bad about this

calstars, Monday, 6 September 2021 23:28 (two months ago) link

three weeks pass...

My girls fight too much, and my latest discovery is that I can defuse any conflict by merely putting Send Me On My Way on the speaker and doing an embarrassing dance/singalong to it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGMabBGydC0

Amabadysey Amabadyoo!

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Friday, 1 October 2021 15:40 (one month ago) link

i have a KIDS DANCE PARTY playlist on Spotify, will have to add that. It'll fit in nicely between Surfin' Bird and Balloon in the ilx inspired section of the list

Lavator Shemmelpennick, Friday, 1 October 2021 15:46 (one month ago) link

The other day we stayed a night at a friend's for the first time in forever, a two or three hour drive away. Our five year old had a great time but then at bedtime started saying "I want to go home". I spent about ten minutes saying "were not going home, it's too late, it's too far, think of the great time you'll have tomorrow, playing on the trampoline", etc etc. She starts calling for mum who luckily has managed to get our two year old to sleep in record time, mum comes in and the first thing she says is "if you don't stop messing around we're driving straight home"!

ledge, Friday, 1 October 2021 19:38 (one month ago) link

Did it work?

peace, man, Friday, 1 October 2021 19:46 (one month ago) link

The good cop bad cop routine did the trick regardless!

ledge, Friday, 1 October 2021 19:48 (one month ago) link

OMMAWAY

Rusted Root Neologisms

OOMBASEEYOU

SEBADEEYON

Extinct Namibian shrub genus: Var. (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, 1 October 2021 19:55 (one month ago) link

Can't workout if my two-year-old keeps shouting "fuck!" (word daddy uses) or "cluck!" (been reading chicken books) or "uck!" (her own invention). Very joyous expression either way

Chuck_Tatum, Tuesday, 5 October 2021 15:05 (one month ago) link

"Cuck," however, if less joyous.

DJI, Tuesday, 5 October 2021 15:55 (one month ago) link

if=is

DJI, Tuesday, 5 October 2021 15:55 (one month ago) link

hi everyone, i'm not a parent, but i do have a 12-year-old niece who rules. i'm having a very bad year, so in the spirit of self-affirmations, i want everyone to know is that i just had a full house moment with her. she was telling me about how she couldn't find any robux online:

Actually no, I just getting some gifts for the cousins! 🙃 I like to give them stuff every once in a while, idk why XD

and i was like "i know why! it's because you love them! i mean, that's why i give you and max gifts. i don't give everyone gifts you know, i'm not made of money."

i could almost hear the full house sax coming in as i texted it to her, then i hugged my dog

typo hell #12: a hundreds of millions of people (Karl Malone), Wednesday, 6 October 2021 22:25 (one month ago) link

i feel like if i have a kid i would accidentally fuck them up for life by the age of 4

typo hell #12: a hundreds of millions of people (Karl Malone), Wednesday, 6 October 2021 22:26 (one month ago) link

but i am very good in the uncle role, because it allows me to sometimes just vanish without explanation for days at a time, and to never have to directly discipline them in any way

typo hell #12: a hundreds of millions of people (Karl Malone), Wednesday, 6 October 2021 22:26 (one month ago) link

i guess i do some hardmanning when we're playing videogames, when max is just blatantly cheating. but even then i can do it from the uncle perspective, where we are basically all just goofing off constantly

typo hell #12: a hundreds of millions of people (Karl Malone), Wednesday, 6 October 2021 22:28 (one month ago) link

i feel like if i have a kid i would accidentally fuck them up for life by the age of 4

oh it’s ok everyone does this

Chuck_Tatum, Saturday, 9 October 2021 22:10 (one month ago) link

three weeks pass...

Spent thirty minutes talking down/consoling the younger one tonight who was insisting we don’t love her and only care about her amazing sister. Then I spent the next thirty minutes doing the mirror image with the older one.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Wednesday, 3 November 2021 01:31 (three weeks ago) link

We are probably just shitty parents.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Wednesday, 3 November 2021 01:32 (three weeks ago) link

don't be so hard on yourself, if you're spending 30 min a piece w/both of them listening to them talk about their feelings and emotions. . . you're doing pretty great dude

a (waterface), Wednesday, 3 November 2021 13:34 (three weeks ago) link

thx

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Wednesday, 3 November 2021 13:38 (three weeks ago) link

waterface otm. my sister and i had a similar dynamic, growing up. i was the younger one, but i got all the good grades and said the funny things. my sister started to feel neglected, i think. difference was, my parents never spoke to either one of us about that (or anything else that was difficult to talk about). and that was bad!

also, in a way i think it's a good sign that they're open about it (insisting we don't love her) rather than hiding those feelings. and then, you can see them being open about it and spend 30 minutes talking about it with them. i feel like that's how it's supposed to work, in a better world!

so anyway, must have been some hard conversations but i think you're all much better off for it. :)

Karl Malone, Wednesday, 3 November 2021 15:57 (three weeks ago) link

Thanks for the kind words. We had a pretty rocky couple of years of parenting with all the COVID stuff plus a move, and I've been doing some pretty deep examination of myself and my angers and anxieties, the way I communicate with my kids, with my wife, etc. Without stereotyping too much, I think girls learn to express their emotions in much more outward and dramatic ways sometimes than boys, so I was not prepared for some of the kinds of expressions I've seen coming only from a household of boys and having only girls. Hearing stuff like "you hate me" or having your kid stubbornly sit in the closet can be really hard sometimes, no matter how many times you go through the calming down process and realize that they're just a well-placed dadjoke, a hug, and a couple of pages of a book from back to 100% normal.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Thursday, 4 November 2021 17:21 (three weeks ago) link

Personally I just go sit in the closet myself. I bring snax and weed and it works out great

gin and catatonic (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, 4 November 2021 17:56 (three weeks ago) link

the power of a well timed joke is wild. it can break the spell and restore the good vibes

a (waterface), Thursday, 4 November 2021 18:05 (three weeks ago) link


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