ILX Parenting 6: "Put Some Goddamn Pants On Before You Go Outside!" is a thing I say now

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have at it

Οὖτις, Friday, 10 July 2015 19:51 (three years ago) Permalink

"because I'M the parent!" is a thing *I* say now.

UYD: Oxys, Percs, Vics, Addys, Rit-Dogs and Xannys (sunny successor), Friday, 10 July 2015 20:47 (three years ago) Permalink

I find myself saying giving the weirdest instructions sometimes

Οὖτις, Friday, 10 July 2015 21:00 (three years ago) Permalink

completely frivolous post but: ex-coworker pregnant w second baby. she's naming it "Macyn" and I am pretty IA about it tbh

ugh. just call the fuckin kid mason jeeeeeeezus christ almighty

difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 14 July 2015 19:48 (three years ago) Permalink

boy or girl? I'm guessing girl.

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Tuesday, 14 July 2015 22:50 (three years ago) Permalink

just intentionally mispronounce it from now on

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 14 July 2015 23:00 (three years ago) Permalink

"makin? like yr makin a baby?"

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 14 July 2015 23:00 (three years ago) Permalink

we've moved beyond the "why" stage to the "no" or simply ignoring stage which is slowly sapping my will to live and/or self-image as a nice guy

transparent play for gifs (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 15 July 2015 12:53 (three years ago) Permalink

Hey all. Haven't been around for a while but K now has a baby sister, E. 👨‍👩‍👧‍👧

five six and (man alive), Thursday, 16 July 2015 00:58 (three years ago) Permalink

Good job.

Jeff, Thursday, 16 July 2015 01:02 (three years ago) Permalink

Oh yay! I was just thinking about you, man alive, and hoping you'd come back and say hello. Congratulations!

from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Thursday, 16 July 2015 01:45 (three years ago) Permalink

Aw! Nice to not be forgotten by ILXORs, at least a few nice ones.

five six and (man alive), Thursday, 16 July 2015 01:47 (three years ago) Permalink

yes you were missed dude

marcos, Thursday, 16 July 2015 02:12 (three years ago) Permalink

we even posted in the ilx milk carton thread a while back iirc

marcos, Thursday, 16 July 2015 02:13 (three years ago) Permalink

anyways good to have a new thread

J is starting to ask "what is ____" about everything, it is really cool, like he is really trying to get at the deeper meaning of it, e.g. he has been eating oatmeal for a good two years now but now he wants to really know "what is oatmeal???"

marcos, Thursday, 16 July 2015 02:15 (three years ago) Permalink

haha also xp man alive i misread your post to say "K now has a babysitter, E" so i did not comment b/c that seemed unremarkable, but yea congratulations!

marcos, Thursday, 16 July 2015 02:24 (three years ago) Permalink

So yeah, two kids is pretty crazy. OTOH in the final months before the birth I hustled hard and found a better job -- better pay AND more flexible with time, and that's been making things a lot easier.

five six and (man alive), Thursday, 16 July 2015 03:13 (three years ago) Permalink

Oh awesome! Congratulations on the new job AND the new baby!

from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Thursday, 16 July 2015 03:17 (three years ago) Permalink

yeah two kids is nuts. fwiw three is not as nuts as two is, in case you're inclined in that way

we just flew back to the usa for a couple of weeks and my kids did well, but then my youngest is 8 so why would it be bad. tons of movies on demand with the little screens, they keep bringing you food and drinks, you get to snuggle, what's not to like.

droit au butt (Euler), Thursday, 16 July 2015 12:01 (three years ago) Permalink

fwiw three is not as nuts as two

this needs explaination

UYD: Oxys, Percs, Vics, Addys, Rit-Dogs and Xannys (sunny successor), Thursday, 16 July 2015 17:36 (three years ago) Permalink

two is fucking crazy

marcos, Thursday, 16 July 2015 18:45 (three years ago) Permalink

I assume when you have three you let the oldest child be in charge of the other two. Parenting over!

Οὖτις, Thursday, 16 July 2015 18:46 (three years ago) Permalink

im dying here w/ 2, it is intense

my mom had 5 and i just can't even comprehend that

marcos, Thursday, 16 July 2015 18:48 (three years ago) Permalink

i think maybe people who say the jump to 3 is not a big deal is maybe because at that point the older ones are a little more manageable since they are older?

marcos, Thursday, 16 July 2015 18:49 (three years ago) Permalink

also some of you may recall i mentioned J's autism diagnosis on the previous thread, things were super stressful for a long while especially after F's birth but things do seem to be falling into place a little w/ his services and planning for preschool next year. we found some really incredible home-based therapists and b/c of his diagnosis J also got offered a spot at one of our city's best public schools allowing us to bypass some of the anxiety-inducing byzantine lottery process. one benefit i guess to having a kid with special needs. also J is just doing amazingly well right now and we've seen so much growth and progress, it is really hopeful.

marcos, Thursday, 16 July 2015 18:54 (three years ago) Permalink

Oh good! That's good to hear.

from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Thursday, 16 July 2015 19:21 (three years ago) Permalink

Thanks for the update Marcos, that's good to hear.
My friend with 3 kids says the jump to 3 is the craziest ever. You only have 2 hands for a start!

kinder, Thursday, 16 July 2015 19:44 (three years ago) Permalink

Yeah I've heard that 3 is the hardest - harder than two, harder than four.

LOL survey says -

I think we'll stick with one to be on the safe side.

from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Thursday, 16 July 2015 19:58 (three years ago) Permalink

I would add "Put on your shoes" to this list.

Immediate Follower (NA), Thursday, 16 July 2015 20:11 (three years ago) Permalink

Ivy's only 19 months so some of those don't apply but we're already well on our way with "Careful," "You're fine," and "Don't eat that."

from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Thursday, 16 July 2015 20:16 (three years ago) Permalink

yeah I dunno with #3, #1 was already 6 years old, so didn't need the kind of management that newborns do, and got along well with #2 so our lives were fine. plus we knew what we were doing by that point, at least as well as we ever were going to. but when #2 was born...I don't know how we survived tbh

droit au butt (Euler), Thursday, 16 July 2015 20:44 (three years ago) Permalink

Oh god, "careful!" is getting a lot of use now, as well as the related "gentle hands!" F's top three words are "no", "nono" and "nonononononono".

Madchen, Thursday, 16 July 2015 20:55 (three years ago) Permalink

"Did you take another bite of your dinner yet?"

how's life, Thursday, 16 July 2015 21:03 (three years ago) Permalink

Ivy's daycare teachers use the Spanish "linda" to mean "nicely," which Ivy picked up on early so we say that instead of "gentle hands." And we say that a lot... Also my mom's old favorite: People are not for hitting. People are for loving. Usually said through gritted teeth after Ivy smacks my glasses off my face.

from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Thursday, 16 July 2015 21:15 (three years ago) Permalink

our perfect granddaughter, who always slept through the night even from birth and has never been the slightest bit difficult during year one, has FINALLY has her first tantrum, tried to scratch her mom with her little fingernails. we breathed a sigh of relief tbh, thank god she's not some pod person experiment and is actually human.

I have a couple of new Isolde pics as well, will post later

sleeve, Thursday, 16 July 2015 21:31 (three years ago) Permalink

Damn straight.

from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Thursday, 16 July 2015 22:00 (three years ago) Permalink

"gentle hands" wtf does that mean, like what is the situation

transparent play for gifs (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 16 July 2015 23:47 (three years ago) Permalink


difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 16 July 2015 23:48 (three years ago) Permalink

ime it is another way of saying "don't scratch my fucking face, boy"

marcos, Friday, 17 July 2015 00:06 (three years ago) Permalink

Yeah like "don't hit scratch slap pinch me/your dad/this other child/the cat."

from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Friday, 17 July 2015 00:39 (three years ago) Permalink

"What did I just say?" is another thing I say a lot.

Οὖτις, Friday, 17 July 2015 02:39 (three years ago) Permalink

I've been trying to get a little more real about "rules" lately, especially with eating, e.g. I keep repeating "we don't get something else until we finish what we have," because she has a really annoying habit of asking for something, taking a few bites and then asking for another thing. Also trying to stop snacks in the stroller and carseat so she'll actually eat her goddamn meals instead of snacking all the time, but that one is challenging (because on the morning where she DOESN'T eat her goddamn breakfast, you feel guilty sending her to school hungry).

five six and (man alive), Friday, 17 July 2015 04:51 (three years ago) Permalink

Also we have a grandparent who sees her every week and undermines all this

five six and (man alive), Friday, 17 July 2015 04:51 (three years ago) Permalink

gah, that thing when your newborn is finally asleep and completely quiet and then you keep checking every twenty minutes to make sure they're alive.

five six and (man alive), Friday, 17 July 2015 05:02 (three years ago) Permalink


difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 17 July 2015 05:19 (three years ago) Permalink

double congratulations, man alive!

estela, Friday, 17 July 2015 05:28 (three years ago) Permalink

small man still alive

wisdom be leakin out my louche douche truths (k3vin k.), Friday, 17 July 2015 05:29 (three years ago) Permalink

So I may have missed something, but I think Nora only woke at midnight and 3am last night. It's 7am now and she's still asleep. And it's Em's birthday.

Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Friday, 17 July 2015 06:18 (three years ago) Permalink

Ha, I slept straight through a 5am waking..,

Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Friday, 17 July 2015 06:24 (three years ago) Permalink

Happy birthday Em. I was just thinking I hadn't seen her over at the other place for a while. If it's any consolation, our sleep has gone back into a bad pattern after having a really good thing going for a couple of months. Hoping we find that groove again.

kinder, Friday, 17 July 2015 08:33 (three years ago) Permalink

He was mostly in 9.30 to 6.00 but on days one of us was travelling for work, or when a train was cancelled, it was a life saver. Really, really not cheap though - it was the only nursery in the area with those hours.

Madchen, Friday, 26 October 2018 06:21 (one month ago) Permalink

I went to my first concert since my kid was born nearly 4 years. Yes, it was Raffi.

President Keyes, Saturday, 27 October 2018 22:21 (one month ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

Kid is turning four and we're having a birthday party. Is it acceptable to ask attendees to not bring gifts and suggest that if their kid really wants to pick out a present that they could do that and then donate it to something like Toys for Tots? He's got six grandparents and a whole mess of birth family who buy him shit all the time and he wants for nothing, and we don't need more toys in the house.

Or are people going think we're preachy/bragging/pretentious/killjoys/etc and will bring them anyway?

joygoat, Thursday, 15 November 2018 14:12 (three weeks ago) Permalink

dunno what they will think but ime they will bring gifts anyway

L'assie (Euler), Thursday, 15 November 2018 14:13 (three weeks ago) Permalink

We had a low-key thing last year with just friends so it was easier; this time we're shotgunning the whole preschool class (party is at an indoor bounce house place so easy enough) so potential for people we only see randomly at pick up and drop off to be there.

joygoat, Thursday, 15 November 2018 14:13 (three weeks ago) Permalink

friend of mine did a 4th birthday party in a village hall that was just 'join us for play and cake, no presents, 10.15-11.45' which was brilliant. toys and games but no faff with party lunch or anything.
I approve of 'no presents' and think it's fine to ask nicely not to bring them but ppl will anyway.

kinder, Thursday, 15 November 2018 15:49 (three weeks ago) Permalink

We've had "no presents please" invites, with no trouble. Another non-stuff-centric party idea we've seen is a book exchange (everyone brings a used (or new) book; everyone leaves with a different book.

Frank Lloyd RONG (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, 15 November 2018 16:14 (three weeks ago) Permalink

sigh. Presents at birthday parties just became an issue for us too at 4 years old. I think because we’re now inviting kids from daycare, ie, outside our usual anti-capitalist social circle ;) I said “no presents necessary please” on the invite to A’s party but some people brought presents anyway - I think it’s really important to some people as a way of showing affection, and I’ve noticed that it matters to some kids in that sense too. I don’t want to deny people their means of showing affection but at the same time, well, that does tend to set the norm and presents just become expected by the 5th birthday party.

We went to a 4 year old’s party recently where EVERYONE brought presents and we’d just made a card. I felt kind of sad because I’d inadvertently made my kid the kid who didn’t bring a present :/ (which I realize was me as a kid because we were low-income - I don’t recall it bothering me too much until I was 8 or 9. I also don’t recall kids bday parties being a big deal!) I think I’ve just decided that we’ll give art supplies in future. Though it’s entirely likely that my child will try to convince me otherwise soon enough!

obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Thursday, 15 November 2018 16:30 (three weeks ago) Permalink

I like the book exchange idea!

obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Thursday, 15 November 2018 16:31 (three weeks ago) Permalink

My 4 year old is suddenly death obsessed. In the school hallway there's a picture of him with a balloon from an event a year ago. He keeps saying, "That balloon is dead." He told two of his teachers this morning that his grandpa died, which isn't true. He was singing "Rusty Cage" today and said, "Johnny Cash died a little bit so I sing his songs now. My name is Johnny Nash."

President Keyes, Thursday, 15 November 2018 17:18 (three weeks ago) Permalink

He can see clearly now, the Man In Black is gone.

L'assie (Euler), Thursday, 15 November 2018 17:50 (three weeks ago) Permalink

The book exchange idea is gr8

Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Tuesday, 20 November 2018 21:23 (three weeks ago) Permalink

my boy is turning 4 next week. but his party is tomorrow because we got family in town. I'm not even sure if I should buy him a present. he doesn't really know yet. he's got enough toys, obviously

btw - how the hell are you supposed to brush a 4-year old's teeth? he just whips his head around, bites the brush, blocks you from putting it in his mouth, etc etc...then gets mad when I accidentally brush his face instead

frogbs, Tuesday, 20 November 2018 21:28 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Elmo brushing video on YouTube worked pretty well for us. But she has never minded brushing too much.

Jeff, Tuesday, 20 November 2018 21:38 (three weeks ago) Permalink

we tie in teeth brushing with everything else that needs to happen in the morning before we leave the house. we have a checklist on the fridge (with images/icons for the four-year-old), and once they've done everything on the list, they can have screen time until it's time to leave. no screen time until they're all done. it doesn't work every single day but it has improved mornings a lot in the month or so we've been doing it. if she's in the right mood, she does everything (eating breakfast, putting dishes in kitchen, getting dressed, putting on socks and shoes, brushing teeth and hair, picking out a snack, and "having a good attitude") herself, though most days i'm assisting with some of them.

na (NA), Tuesday, 20 November 2018 22:19 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Similar here, there are three jobs that need to get done every morning prior to any media of any type - get dressed, eat, brush teeth. Brushing isn't really that hard as he's never really fought it, and he actually is capable of doing it all by himself if he really wants to.

He turns 4 tomorrow which still flips me out, thinking about how insanely different my life was four years ago. Also flips me out how much he can do now - like yesterday my wife was up and in the kitchen, I was showering, and the kid woke up on his own and appeared in the kitchen with all his clothes for the day that he had picked out for himself. My wife assumed that I had helped him and he was like "papa was in the shower so I got clothes by myself", like no big deal. He gets up and pees in the middle of the night and goes back to bed on his own, etc. which is equally amazing and makes me sad.

joygoat, Tuesday, 20 November 2018 22:24 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Happy birthday Joykid!
Mine turns 4 soon too. He needs a lot of encouragement to do stuff on his own; I suspect he's a bit lazy.

I have a problem with screen time/tv in that I don't mind him watching a limited amount (we have some excellent educational kids' tv shows here and my son is like a sponge for this stuff) but even if you emphasise we're only having one/two/three programmes (discuss beforehand what's gonna happen after the first one finishes etc) he gets really cross when it's time to switch it off and is constantly asking for 'one more, I only want one more'. My friend suggested engaging with him about what he's just watched which helps a little but it makes it a real drag to put something on to kill 15 minutes without having a load of whining afterwards.

Anyway, I'm so excited for Christmas this year because of him! Last year he was just turned 3 so had an idea about it all but was sick on the day so was a bit of an anticlimax. He's gonna love it this year (and probably go a bit crazy with it all)

kinder, Tuesday, 20 November 2018 22:47 (three weeks ago) Permalink

and happy birthday tadpolebs

kinder, Tuesday, 20 November 2018 22:47 (three weeks ago) Permalink

yea I think mine is behind a little. it's not until we had the 2nd one that we realized that our 1st was probably more difficult than most. though my parenting isn't really the greatest. for example he loves to have the inside lights on in the car, which I dislike (at night at least), but what I dislike more is him kicking and screaming and tossing his shoes or whatever. he still asks for his pacifier at home and sometimes I'm so exhausted I just give it to him. he also has a long and convoluted bedtime routine that I'm not sure how to change. it's hard to deal with these fully fledged meltdowns every day. he's not autistic - he's very in tune with people's feelings, he knows exactly what he should and shouldn't do, but maybe he's got a little touch of it, like I do. I hate yelling at him and he's like 50 lbs now so I can't exactly corral him the way I used to. funny thing is he's apparently very well behaved at school/day care.

frogbs, Tuesday, 20 November 2018 22:53 (three weeks ago) Permalink

ha, mine's similar, his new pre-school was amazed that he would have meltdowns as he's very well behaved there. And in some ways fairly mature for his age. He also likes the lights on in the car. He had a dummy (pacifier) for ages until he was about 2.5? Can't remember. He only had it for naps/sleep but we thought it was going to be a nightmare to get him off it. One day he was in the bath and I noticed a crack in the rubber of the dummy so I showed him 'oh look, it's broken, we have to throw it away and we don't have a new one'. He was surprisingly fine with that (he's quite practically-minded) although it did mess up his going to sleep at night for a couple of weeks.

I know kids change loads every year but from 3 to 4 he's gone from toddler to proper kid; it's quite weird. It's also felt like one of the longest years because we've had loads of life changes. We didn't really have 'terrible twos' but when he hit three (and his sibling came along) he's really been testing everything with us.

kinder, Tuesday, 20 November 2018 23:11 (three weeks ago) Permalink

It really is an amazing phase in some ways, because you know they're right around that age you were when you first started developing memories. One thing that made me really emotional was a few nights ago when I put him to bed and a half hour later I could hear him in there playing with his trucks, trying to be quiet so I wouldn't hear. And then just falling asleep a bit later. I remember doing that when I was around that age!!

frogbs, Tuesday, 20 November 2018 23:23 (three weeks ago) Permalink

I’m a bit astounded by 4 so far - the imaginative independent play, logical (if never-ending) questions, figuring out emotions in more nuanced ways, genuinely SHARING stuff. And if I visit with friends who have kids the same age or older, they go off and play together and we get to have actual conversations! I’m crossing my fingers and pinching myself. I’m still exhausted and stretched a bit thin but feel generally less frazzled-by-child.

obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Wednesday, 21 November 2018 02:52 (three weeks ago) Permalink

We can have some terrible behaviour after school with emotions all over the place. Reading an article about Restraint Collapse really made sense - basically they have a limited amount to give when it comes to good behaviour and by the time school ends, it’s all used up. And home is their comfort zone where they can let it all out.

But yeah, I agree about four - so many amazing developments (including having uninterrupted grown-up conversations on playdates!)

Madchen, Wednesday, 21 November 2018 07:36 (three weeks ago) Permalink

re: brushing teeth, using the Disney Magic Timer app on the phone helped a lot with my kids. And both stopped needing the app after a dentist visited their preschool for a presentation (though the 4yo has since gone back to the app).

early rejecter, Wednesday, 21 November 2018 15:30 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Oh man, restraint collapse. I'd never heard this term, but we have 2.5 year old twins and have been going through this after daycare now pretty much daily with one or the other, sometimes both. Thank you.

sofatruck, Wednesday, 21 November 2018 15:35 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Imaginative independent play is kind of amazing - I love hearing him in the other room making up scenarios and having conversations between toys.

He got obsessed with Ghostbusters last week, watched some of the early 90s cartoon (and the insanely bad EXTREME GHOSTBUSTERS from 1997 that I never knew existed) and suddenly four of his star wars figures with guns molded into their hands were the ghostbusters and every green toy or figure was a ghost or monster, and he built elaborate houses out of blocks and magna tiles for all of them and I totally remember doing shit like this when I was younger.

joygoat, Wednesday, 21 November 2018 19:12 (three weeks ago) Permalink

same here, but involves lots of elaborate tying things together with string (his stuffed animals, to a Noah's ark, to a basket of fruit) to act out stories involving sea chases, rescuing from wells, etc.

I've tripped over so many trip wires...

he asks the most impressive questions too.

kinder, Wednesday, 21 November 2018 21:07 (three weeks ago) Permalink

I have a 3 year age gap, so I rely on a bit of independent play to be able to go off and do endless baby stuff. I don't know how people with smaller age gaps cope.

that said he asks me/ his dad to 'play with meeee' like a million times a day. Just to make us feel guilty!

kinder, Wednesday, 21 November 2018 21:09 (three weeks ago) Permalink

omg the string traps and the hundreds of “knots” my kid has made whenever string or a shoe string meets his hands! Lol.

He hasn’t watched any Ghostbusters but he’s watched the original movie theme song video and sings “Who are you going to call?? Ghost monsters!!”
(I’ve tried to get him to say “who you gonna call” but he won’t!)

obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Wednesday, 21 November 2018 23:56 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Remembering how shy and isolated I was at 3-4 it's been crazy to see my son go into unfamiliar playgrounds, libraries, etc. and within minutes have nearly every kid, even the older ones, playing along with a scenario he's created.

President Keyes, Saturday, 24 November 2018 19:35 (two weeks ago) Permalink

when your kid wants something, and you say no, and they demand to know why, do you owe them an explanation or is it ok to just say no? when my 8yo daughter gets turned down for something she really wants, she refuses to take no for an answer and wants to debate/argue about it, which turns into her nitpicking every word we use to explain why she can't have it, even though the answer is still going to be no. so sometimes i just say "the answer is no, and that's not going to change, and i'm not interested in discussing it." this doesn't really work either in terms of shutting down the argument, though, and i wonder if it's unfair to give no reasoning. on the other hand, i feel like it's better to be clear and firm than to leave loopholes.

na (NA), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 17:35 (two weeks ago) Permalink

I find long-winded semi-nonsensical explanations to be the best option

Οὖτις, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 17:38 (two weeks ago) Permalink

I just wrapped up my first pass-the-parcel and I need a stiff drink.
Lessons have been learned.

kinder, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 23:31 (two weeks ago) Permalink

when your kid wants something, and you say no, and they demand to know why, do you owe them an explanation or is it ok to just say no? when my 8yo daughter gets turned down for something she really wants, she refuses to take no for an answer and wants to debate/argue about it, which turns into her nitpicking every word we use to explain why she can't have it, even though the answer is still going to be no. so sometimes i just say "the answer is no, and that's not going to change, and i'm not interested in discussing it." this doesn't really work either in terms of shutting down the argument, though, and i wonder if it's unfair to give no reasoning.

it's not unfair to give no reason, and "I'm not going to discuss it further" is a fine answer. this is how some parents get to "because I said so," which I consider poor, but I bet I say it at some point soon to my four-year-old.

she carries a torch. two torches, actually (Joan Crawford Loves Chachi), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 23:42 (two weeks ago) Permalink

this is only with a nearly-4-year-old but we sometimes say 'ask the question you want to ask' to avoid loads of 'why' and might make them think about what they actually want to know (if anything)

kinder, Thursday, 29 November 2018 00:04 (one week ago) Permalink

We do the "asked, and answered" response if the kids try to start negotiating.

DJI, Thursday, 29 November 2018 00:14 (one week ago) Permalink

I just walked out of the kids room after once again arriving at the point where some sort of ambiguous request with myriad clarifications and qualifiers ends with me saying TELL ME YES, OR NO over and over in a monotone until he gives up and gives me a straight answer.

joygoat, Thursday, 29 November 2018 02:50 (one week ago) Permalink

mine just ignores us when he feels like not answering which is infuriating

kinder, Thursday, 29 November 2018 08:23 (one week ago) Permalink

Scik, lovely photo and piece!

Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Friday, 30 November 2018 00:57 (one week ago) Permalink

I hope this is a (gradual, to be sure) turn for the better.

DJI, Friday, 30 November 2018 01:16 (one week ago) Permalink


Madchen, Friday, 30 November 2018 07:11 (one week ago) Permalink

Question for parents of older kids: how (or do) you limit phone time? It's easy to knock them off wi-fi, but short of taking away the phone or other screen, how do you stop or slow them down when they're on the same unlimited data plan as you?

Should note this is not a terribly huge issue for us. But we have friends with boys that have had more trouble, particularly (sign of the times) when they just watch hours of Fortnite videos. Google I know offers a really good free family manager for Android phones, but my friends with iPhones are unclear where to turn. I guess most phone services have a sort of family manager service you can tack on for more $$?

Josh in Chicago, Friday, 30 November 2018 12:40 (one week ago) Permalink

The latest iOs has ScreenTime which let's you set all kinds of limits.

DJI, Friday, 30 November 2018 15:42 (one week ago) Permalink

A parent at my school shared an app last year that you put on your phone and pair with your child's phone and you can control their access to everything: the internet, certain programs, and set specific times, ie that mom had set her children's phones not to access the internet at all during school hours (lol). Let me see if I can figure out what it was called.

There's more Italy than necessary. (in orbit), Friday, 30 November 2018 17:48 (one week ago) Permalink


Josh in Chicago, Saturday, 1 December 2018 14:27 (one week ago) Permalink

I'm late to the toothbrushing question, but there's a really cute audio show (podcast form, or if you have an Alexa you can ask it to play it for you) called Chompers. It's two minutes long, the narrator tells the kid when you switch quadrants, and then they share interesting facts or tell dumb jokes in between. It's good to keep Ivy focused while brushing, as she tends to get distracted pretty easily (or suddenly have something extremely important that she needs to tell me (spoiler alert: not important at all) that can't wait two minutes).

carl agatha, Friday, 7 December 2018 15:02 (five days ago) Permalink

Also I think debating with an 8-year-old can lead only to madness, and actually it's pretty important for a kid that age to learn that no means no. Maybe think of it as setting boundaries.

carl agatha, Friday, 7 December 2018 15:03 (five days ago) Permalink

ALSO I'm so happy and hopeful about Casper.

carl agatha, Friday, 7 December 2018 15:04 (five days ago) Permalink

The Elmo brushing song has definitely helped...he holds the phone so it keeps his hands and face steady. Even better that the next one is Feist's "1, 2, 3, 4" which he absolutely loves. Crazy to think it wasn't originally written for Sesame Street

frogbs, Friday, 7 December 2018 15:17 (five days ago) Permalink

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