Kids say the darndest things

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jason waterfalls (gbx), Wednesday, 27 July 2016 01:26 (eight years ago) link

We were talking about fancy restaurants and Owen says "Fuddruckers is pretty fancy!" I say "no it's not." Owen says "yes it is; it has a frickin' arcade!"

schwantz, Wednesday, 27 July 2016 06:00 (eight years ago) link

(Sweet look, btw)

schwantz, Wednesday, 27 July 2016 06:00 (eight years ago) link

owen otm

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 27 July 2016 13:11 (eight years ago) link

Ella is a future fashion icon imo

Quarter measures (sunny successor), Saturday, 30 July 2016 15:18 (eight years ago) link

Henry (out of the blue): I'm going to punch your great, great grandmother.
Me: Its a little late for that. She died before I was born. Do you even know her name?
Henry: Yes. Do YOU know her name?
Me: Yes
Henry: Well, what is it?
Me: *sigh* N*** M****
Henry: That's, right! M****! I'm gonna BLOW HER UP IN HEAVEN!!

Quarter measures (sunny successor), Thursday, 4 August 2016 18:51 (eight years ago) link

omg he is really bucking for a shot at ultimate supervillain huh

Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 4 August 2016 19:42 (eight years ago) link

you don't know the half of it.

pplains, Thursday, 4 August 2016 20:20 (eight years ago) link

Flew hometown -> seattle -> anchorage today. The 20 month old kid got excited about the loud sounds when we landed at seatac, and somehow my wife ended up using the word "crash", amongst others, to help him describe the ruckus.

Before the second flight, he was roaming around the boarding area and sidled up to an older woman, they were smiling at each other, the usual.

woman: "we're going to get on an airplane, aren't you excited? do you like airplanes?"
cecil: "CRASH! CRASH! CRASH!"

joygoat, Friday, 5 August 2016 05:31 (eight years ago) link

XD

how's life, Friday, 5 August 2016 08:12 (eight years ago) link

:D:D:D

Quarter measures (sunny successor), Friday, 5 August 2016 20:22 (eight years ago) link

two weeks pass...

At 12, I feel like my oldest kid is beyond the "darndest things" stage. He has an arsenal of references and a reservoir of wit. I don't always share his sense of humor but I'm glad he's got one.

Before his kung fu class started the other day, another kid was hopelessly trying to engage him in conversation while he was stretching. They've been going to class together for 6 years. The kid is nice, but has an overbearing personality. After about 5 minutes:

Other kid: Do you know what anime is?
Son: Yeah, it's like TV but it sucks.

how's life, Sunday, 21 August 2016 23:44 (eight years ago) link

Damn. Cold.

We were telling Owen and Ben the other night that they were going to get "all the honeys."

Owen: hey honeys - check out my fancy beehive!

schwantz, Monday, 22 August 2016 01:29 (eight years ago) link

Hahaha

Quarter measures (sunny successor), Monday, 22 August 2016 02:50 (eight years ago) link

Joygoat, I told my mum the crash story and I thought she was going to die laughing.

Quarter measures (sunny successor), Monday, 22 August 2016 02:52 (eight years ago) link

My coworker told me she and her boyfriend brought up newspapers in conversation, and their daughter and her friend had this exchange:

Friend: What's a newspaper??
Daughter: It's old people's internet!

tokyo rosemary, Monday, 22 August 2016 03:48 (eight years ago) link

Was cooking dinner with Nora yesterday and just before Em got home I said to Nora "you know what, you just might be my favourite person in the world". To which she, 21 months old, replied, "Wow!" Which was awesome.

Recently she has conquered 'no' and 'mine' which are the BEST words for a toddler to know. Not.

Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Wednesday, 24 August 2016 15:27 (eight years ago) link

I am so excited for when she can ask me relentless questions.

Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Wednesday, 24 August 2016 15:34 (eight years ago) link

Mine is saying no but in this cute offhand casual kind of way, which I don't mind. Sure it won't last long. Favourite word is probably meema for lemur.i think he likes stripy things.

kinder, Wednesday, 24 August 2016 17:40 (eight years ago) link

So weird when Ella started doing accents and imitating voices. A friend was visiting from interstate and was all 'Is your daughter... British?'

I hear from this arsehole again, he's going in the river (James Morrison), Thursday, 25 August 2016 00:43 (eight years ago) link

My niece pronounces zebra as zeebra. Maybe it's easier?

two crickets sassing each other (dowd), Thursday, 25 August 2016 06:10 (eight years ago) link

K's grandparents have this little stuffed dog that moves and sings "Thank You For Being a Friend" by Andrew Gold, and she loves it.

Recently she told us that her own toy dog was a "pal and a comfy dog" and it took us like a day to realize she was quoting the song ("pal and a confidant").

the last famous person you were surprised to discover was actually (man alive), Thursday, 25 August 2016 14:15 (eight years ago) link

my littlest today at lunch: "why aren't we allowed to be cannibals?" then she sang "we could be cannibals" to the chorus of that Tove Lo song "Heroes".

droit au butt (Euler), Thursday, 25 August 2016 14:33 (eight years ago) link

My dog is a pal and a comfy dog, so I see the confusion. (x-post)

two crickets sassing each other (dowd), Thursday, 25 August 2016 14:47 (eight years ago) link

Cannibals are the real heroes, if you think about it. O_o

schwantz, Thursday, 25 August 2016 14:49 (eight years ago) link

my littlest today at lunch: "why aren't we allowed to be cannibals?" then she sang "we could be cannibals" to the chorus of that Tove Lo song "Heroes".

my daughter loves this song fwiw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTvdjlJUO8A

Οὖτις, Thursday, 25 August 2016 15:29 (eight years ago) link

lol I will show her that

droit au butt (Euler), Thursday, 25 August 2016 15:47 (eight years ago) link

K's grandparents have this little stuffed dog that moves and sings "Thank You For Being a Friend" by Andrew Gold, and she loves it.

Recently she told us that her own toy dog was a "pal and a comfy dog" and it took us like a day to realize she was quoting the song ("pal and a confidant").

― the last famous person you were surprised to discover was actually (man alive), Thursday, August 25, 2016 10:15 AM (two hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Are you aware of Andrew Gold's halloween children's album?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yf031HvhS5E

how's life, Thursday, 25 August 2016 16:22 (eight years ago) link

ha, thought that was your response to hearing about a talking dog.

pplains, Thursday, 25 August 2016 18:44 (eight years ago) link

Arthur, 4 & 1/2, at breakfast: "when I die, then, I will be able to kill".

Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Sunday, 4 September 2016 16:30 (eight years ago) link

Yikes!

My wife was with Ben at Target yesterday, when she knocked over a lamp.

Ben: you break it, you buy it. I don't know you! [turns and sprints away down the aisle]

schwantz, Sunday, 4 September 2016 17:28 (eight years ago) link

One of my sons has taken to saying "Ridiculous!" a lot. Today that morphed into "Dickless!"

Don't boo, vote (DJP), Monday, 5 September 2016 02:46 (eight years ago) link

lol

how's life, Tuesday, 6 September 2016 16:05 (eight years ago) link

That same son was rummaging through the laundry this weekend, pulled out one of my wife's bras and waved it around yelling "Boobies! SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE"

I would like to state for the record that, despite my reputation, he did not get that from me.

Don't boo, vote (DJP), Tuesday, 6 September 2016 16:11 (eight years ago) link

hmmm

mark s, Tuesday, 6 September 2016 16:28 (eight years ago) link

x-post

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Sure he didn't.

Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Tuesday, 6 September 2016 17:51 (eight years ago) link

oops these posts were supposed to go here:

3yo son: "I'm gonna eat your penis!"
Me: "That is a thing that is not going to happen."
3yo son: "Us gonna eat all the penises!"
Me: ...

talking with my son now is basically like one long Butthole Surfers song

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 6 September 2016 17:51 (eight years ago) link

3yo son: "Us gonna eat all the penises!"

Good to have goals...

schwantz, Tuesday, 6 September 2016 20:52 (eight years ago) link

Dex, singing to himself: "goodnight fatty, I'll kill you in your sleeeeep"

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Saturday, 10 September 2016 01:56 (eight years ago) link

Some other person's kid, at a minion-themed birthday party this weekend:

I wish I could dive into a minion's butt!

how's life, Monday, 12 September 2016 00:03 (eight years ago) link

"daddy i don't wanna be gay!"

OK then fella

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Monday, 12 September 2016 06:57 (eight years ago) link

- "So you still want to go camping with the Boy Scouts?"

- "Yeah, but I'm a little nervous."

- "Aw, I know where you're coming from, but you're just now getting to know these guys. By the time you go camping, you'll fit right in."

- "... I mean, I'm nervous about the bears."

pplains, Monday, 12 September 2016 13:11 (eight years ago) link

<3

Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 12 September 2016 17:44 (eight years ago) link

Bears get nervous too.

two crickets sassing each other (dowd), Monday, 12 September 2016 22:14 (eight years ago) link

^ a little appreciated and under publicized fact

a little too mature to be cute (Aimless), Tuesday, 13 September 2016 03:14 (eight years ago) link

My OH is convinced that our 21-month-old can point to correct number symbols in a book when asked. Is he bullshitting me? Toddler has known for several months the difference between one and two (but not beyond that) but we've only just started reading him a book "about" numbers. He recognises shapes I guess and always points out STAR! when he sees one. (There are loads in Tescos)

kinder, Thursday, 15 September 2016 20:48 (eight years ago) link

I'm skeptical. the distinction between one and more-than-one comes pretty early but discrete numbers? gtfo

Οὖτις, Thursday, 15 September 2016 20:52 (eight years ago) link

One of my kids could read and spell a bunch of words by 1.5...

schwantz, Thursday, 15 September 2016 21:24 (eight years ago) link

It wouldn't really surprise me? iirc our kids are right around the same age and mine has kind of been distinguishing between different number symbols, pointing at letters and saying "abc's" but not saying that about numbers, saying "H" when pointing at the Honda emblem on our car, and "counting" where he can sometimes say numbers in the correct order but more often says FOUR...FIVE...EIGHT over and over.

joygoat, Thursday, 15 September 2016 21:27 (eight years ago) link

reading and spelling is different!

Οὖτις, Thursday, 15 September 2016 22:02 (eight years ago) link


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