Kids say the darndest things

Henry, who knows and can write the alphabet but still has a little trouble attributing a first letter to a word or name, had this convo with me the other day (while he was pooping, no less)

Hank: 'What do you start with?'
Me: 'I start with a 'K' because my name is Kate.
Me: 'What do you start with?'
Hank:(incredulous)'You KNOW what I start with! I start with an 'H'. Remember H-E-N-R-Y!!'
Me: 'Oh, yeah. I remember now. How did you get that name?'
Hank: 'Oh, Mama. You know!'
Me: 'Remind me again?'
Hank: 'Well they told you when I was a baby. When you adopted me'
Me: 'I adopted you?'
Hank: *SIGH* 'Yes, from the doctor. Remember?'
Me: 'Oh so the Doctor named you Henry?'
Hank: 'No!'
Me: 'Then how did you get that name?'
Hank: 'The doctor told you when you adopted me'
Me: ' So your name was already Henry before the doctor had you?'
Hank: *SIGH* 'Yes!'
Me: 'So did someone else give you that name or were you born with it?'
Hank: 'Look, Mama. The doctor got all the baby Henrys in the whole world and then he adopted them to Mommies and Daddies'
Me: 'He had ALL the baby Henrys in the whole wide world???? How did we pick you out of all those Henrys?'
Hank: *SIGH* 'The doctor decided. OKAY?'
Me: 'Ooookay'

Solid origin story, Henry.

AT 5 years old, I'm certainly not planning to get all factual on this particular subject.

Which is strictly for my benefit if I didnt make that clear

*SIGH*
lol, i know that tone -- sylvie basically addresses me like i am a simpleton

I love how exasperated kids get that you don't know stuff you told them.

i love Henry so much

On being asked to explain the state of a room in which she had been playing by herself for a short while.

"I don't understand WHAT happened. Everything just went MAD!"

A pretty good excuse for a 2.5yo, tbh

Also:

Ella: "Nonna and granddad are my grandparents."
Me: "Yes. And they're my parents."
Ella: "Well, that's disappointing."

two and a half!!!!

She's very verbal. VERY verbal. And requires us to be too--almost every second thing she says is "Make it talk!", holding out a toy/bit of food/piece of furniture/small animal/rock/remote control/etcetc

that's so great

DOCTOR: Can you write your name, Henry?
HENRY: All Day Long.

My boy is becoming Roy D. Mercer.

that is awesome

i love henry

Those are awesome!

Saw Matilda last night with the boys, and at one point Owen leaned over me and asked "Is it good being a grownup?"

I said yeah.

While playing campout.

HL: Are you afraid of the dark?
A: No. I HUNT night reindeer in the dark.
HL: Oh yeah? How do you hunt night reindeer? With a gun or a bow-and-arrow?
A: With a bone arrow. You take em back to the camp, throw em on the fire, mush em up into a blanklet, then you chop the head off so you don't have a head on your blanklet.

― how's life, Saturday, December 13, 2014 5:08 PM (7 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

A (holding up a plastic Halloween Grim Reaper scythe): I'm going to go deer hunting.
HL: Uh, I've heard of people going deer hunting with shotguns, or rifles, or bows and arrows, but with a scythe? What are you going to do - chop their heads off?
A: I'm going to chop a big hole in their backs and that's how you go deer hunting with a scythe.

A: I make some of the bodies into mats and some of them into blanklets and I put the deer's heads ON THE WALL.

In your face Robert De Niro. Call yourself a deer hunter pshaw

"Adults have hair in their noses, and little people have boogers."

Ella: "Nonna and granddad are my grandparents."
Me: "Yes. And they're my parents."
Ella: "Well, that's disappointing."

― as verbose and purple as a Peter Ustinov made of plums (James Morrison), Wednesday, July 29, 2015 4:10 AM (1 week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

!!!!!!!!!!

^^^ How is this kid 2.5??? Amazing.

Me, dropping something: Son of a bitch.
Ivy: Bitch! Bitch! Bitch!
Me: o_O

lol

Glad she learned it from you first.

did you know there's a comic strip here about a toddler called Ivy the Terrible?

I did not! Is it any good?

Can't say it was my favourite tbh...

While taking a walk around the neighborhood and learning the different brands of cars:

"Goodbye Honda! I love you more than my wolf-husband!"

irl LOL

The background being that her latest imagination game to play has been "wolves". You know, there's a pack, she has to learn to hunt, there are alphas and omegas (she likes omegas better because it sounds better), there's a lot of howling and running. But I didn't realize she was still in wolf mode at the time and I certainly didn't know she had gotten married.

so there is this brand of soda here

http://57.img.v4.skyrock.net/3479/1883479/pics/31609515.jpg

and my kids reallllllly like asking if we can some of it, for some reason...

nice!

and then dinner was a litany of "I'm full of pschitt" etc

I make that same joke all the time.

never gets old

Somehow ella replaced our answering machine message with a fragment of alan bennett reading winnie the pooh and talking about "cunning plans"

lol

BEEPS: I was climbing off the bunk bed and slipped off the ladder. It hurt!

ME: Oh no! Let me look at you. What did you hit when you fell?

BEEPS: ... The floor?

Duh.

out of nowhere right now, "have I ever drunk George Washington's sweat?"

loool

now I'm wondering.

we all have, it's part of being 'merican

I think she's remembering the bit in Paulos' Innumeracy when he says the probability of having just inhaled a molecule that Caesar exhaled in his dying breath, is over 99%, which we talked about some months ago, and kicking it up a notch. but it really came out of nowhere today...

'My room, my rules!''my rules for me!' 'my phone, my rules!'

We seem to have hit another challenging authority stage. Girl's got a shock coming to her when she starts school a week on tuesday....

Haha she repeatedly said "my house, my rules" to me at the weekend; I was in no position to argue.

Whoa, Lulu has been doing this for a while. Usually wrt to laundry. "My pants, my rules". Just please put them in the basket or washing machine, not stuffed somewhere where I discover them a week later.

We're finally getting our decrepit and nonfunctioning bathroom repaired, but it is next to Ella's room and she has to sleep out in the lounge for a couple of weeks. She was disgusted to learn this.
"The builders CAN'T come and pull up the floor. If they do, I'll BASH them!"

And

"rRAAAAARRRRGH! RRRRRRAAAAARGH!"
"What are you doing?"
"I'm frightening the builders away."