Kids say the darndest things

big brother (singing): I'm sexy and I know it.
little sister: I'm sexy and I know it clap my hands.

Had to swoop in there with a few corrective verses of "happy and you know it". Hoping like hell this doesn't make its way back to daycare.

Ava and Lulu are amazing and ^^^ is hilarious

wish my 2yo would start saying some darn things already, still mostly grunting and pointing and glossolalia type stuff

One day, I hope to sit down with my son and ask, "So, what exactly were you talking about all those years?" and hearing full explanations.

This morning, K: "We went in the snow, and we made snowballs, and the big house fell down, and the dog was sad"

It took me a few minutes to realize she was actually reciting the plot of "The Dog Who Stopped the War," which had been playing on the TV over the bar in the restaurant we ate in on Sunday. FWIW, *spoiler alert* the "sad" dog was actually dead.

Ben watched the Key and Peele football special and came up with his own surreal set of names:
https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xap1/t31.0-8/10860899_10153095251175152_5107743297424401622_o.jpg

dickface!

the bluntness of dickface after all those lengthy inscrutable ones is hilarious

those are amazing

considering a display name change

incredible

"crocodidalelion" is killing me

these are fantastic

axedickheädee bulgeomletry or 2D armpit ftw

2D armpit, I can't even get my mind around that. Or my arm.

I like Fervidaigram Smokesphere.

that's a lot of umlauts

testitoes!

looks a lot like the tracklisting for drukqs

You don't understand, änanaäukleese is the name of my Estonian metal band.

all those should go straight to finest of display names

2D Armpit is deeply satisfying

all those should go straight to finest of display names

OTM

incredible

― gr8080, Friday, January 30, 2015 12:30 PM (9 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i want these on my wall

whats with all the umlauts tho

Ben got a word-of-the-day calendar with diacritical marking, so I think that's where the umlauts are coming from.

Joey(rooting around in the fridge): Have you seen the mustard? Nevermind, I found it.
Abby: Joey, don’t fuck around.

how's life i love your kid, everything she does is cool

she's going to get me into so much trouble one of these days.

So much joy in this thread.

On Sunday morning, trying to coach Ava through some probability questions for homework.

Me: Ok, so you have a bowl of ten M&Ms. Four are red, four are blue, two are brown. What are the chances you'll get a brown one?
Ava: Two in ten!
Me: Yes! And now you take an M&M and it's brown. What are the chances of getting another brown one?
Ava: Er, still the same.
Me: No, you have fewer brown M&Ms, and fewer M&Ms in total.
Ava: I still have the brown one in my hand.
Me: Well, just eat it.
(Ava theatrically mimes scoffing a single M&M)
Lulu: We have M&Ms?
Me: No, it's just an example.
Ava: I don't want any more brown ones.
Me: Yes, but for the purposes of this...
Lulu: We have Jaffa Cakes. Do it for real with Jaffa Cakes.
Me: They're not different colours.
Ava: They are when you eat all the chocolate off.
(Lulu heads to cupboard)
NO, NO, NO.

It's only at a distance that it sounds like a neat little sitcom scene rather than the HOURS OF TORTURE that it seemed at the time.

:D

While listening to the Wild Tchoupitoulas' version of Brother John:

Lucy (2.5 y.o.): What's this song called?
Me: Brother John.
Lucy: Like in Robin Hood?

Also - Pancreasface? Amazing.

indeed

lol @ 2d armpit

Every night before bed now K gets into our shower stall and yells, repeatedly, "No! Excuse me! Why do you do that stuff, for I don't care!"

I like to think of it as a succinct expression of most children's feelings toward their parents.

kids write the darndest things:
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V writes a lot lately - stories, lessons for her "class" that she pretends to teach, etc.

er
http://c1.staticflickr.com/9/8658/16436517821_4a5ba080d2_c.jpg

kinda shocked her peers have exposed her to/are aware of Walking Dead and the Annabelle movies I mean wtf these are 1st graders

Yeah. My kids are telling me about Freddy and Jason because one of their classmates has seen those movies. Lotsa shitty parents...

On the other hand, I described the plot of E.T. for Beeps, hoping she'd want to check it out on a family movie night.

Her response was "So it's a movie about an alien who wants to use the phone. No thanks."

it's just a little naked lady dismemberment, it's all good

xp

My wife has 1st/2d graders who have seen Chucky movies, played Grand Theft Auto, etc.

it's just a little naked lady dismemberment, it's all good

xp

― Οὖτις, Tuesday, February 3, 2015 5:30 PM (19 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

fwiw, when I was a little kid (maybe 6/7) I had a game with a friend where we pretended to kidnap "naked ladies" and then bake them in ovens and eat them. I never saw any of those kinds of movies, no abuse in my past afair, never tortured animals, etc.

if someone pvmic's that post I will probably have to seek intensive therapy

I had a game with a friend where we pretended to kidnap "naked ladies" and then bake them in ovens and eat them.

this seems vastly different from being exposed to actual violent imagery - ie it's just yr weird kid imagination at work, conflating several half-formed ideas (naked ladies are forbidden, hansel&gretel being baked in the oven by the witch etc.) into harmless play - v different.

yeah, seems right. And a lot of these students behave in pretty fucked up ways too -- correlation or causation IDK.

pt. 2 (many books have funy parts and saspishas caractors)

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My little kid has sat in on some of the horror stuff my big kid watches, including quite a bit of Walking Dead. She's remarkably well-behaved, so I'd probably vote for "correlation". It's funny, she can chill out in front of some zombie apocalypse without batting an eye (usually), but will turn around and get freaked out about an Alvin and the Chipmunks episode.

OTOH, when my son was 6, he had a neighborhood friend who wandered over one day with a DVD of Saw, asking if we could watch it. That kid was messed up, but it was all family stuff.

rooted in family stuff.