This is the thread where we judge other people's parenting

How is this any grosser than any of your other standard "manger babies" type merchandise?

R.I.P. Brittany Murphy

I look forward to Shakey's officious updates.

Although I find that stuff weird, my daughter's Jewish preschool get's a lot more god-y than I was expecting too, it's kind of weird having her coming home talking about "adonai" and "neshama" and saying blessings given that we're more or less atheistic. But I figure we'll explain when she's older.

How is this any grosser than any of your other standard "manger babies" type merchandise?

― pplains, Tuesday, January 20, 2015 9:22 PM (17 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

This is actually real?

I wish!

I like you and your husband, but I question your decision to leave your 8 yo with a history of behavioral problems (incl repeatedly threatening to murder family members and classmates) at home by himself while you take your younger child to the library.

That's actually illegal in some states I think, there are often minimum ages to be home alone.

In Maryland it's 8, but we didn't let our kid stay home alone until he was 10.

So many states with no minimum: http://www.latchkey-kids.com/latchkey-kids-age-limits.htm

My state's included in the "none" column. Here's how we define it: "Leaving the juvenile alone when the juvenile is too young to care for himself…" I've known 17-year-olds who would've fit that description.

Minimum age in Kansas is six. Why even make a law, Kansas?

Six only if a firearm is present, eight otherwise, iirc.

6? Jesus christ.

parents who insist on going outside for a morning run when it's 5 degrees out and roll their freezing children in a jogger stroller, i judge thee. your kids are not warming up. they are not exercising like you are. they are fucking cold.

Illinois is 14???? Shit, we're probably going to break that law.

xpost, just bundle them up in one of those stroller sleeping bags and put a windshield on the stroller, they'll be find. Toughens them up.

14! my parents definitely should be in prison.

parents who insist on going outside for a morning run when it's 5 degrees out and roll their freezing children in a jogger stroller, i judge thee. your kids are not warming up. they are not exercising like you are. they are fucking cold.

― marcos, Wednesday, January 21, 2015 2:10 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-21537988

Delaware recommends 12, although there's no law, which is good because I was letting myself into our apartment after school when I was ten.

hah here in France there's no legal age, and I see lots of kids ages 8 and younger going around town alone, to/fro school, even riding public trans.

back in Illinois I suspect we have taken liberties though. 14! that's nuts.

In Maryland though, there's a current thing where some parents are under investigation for letting their kids walk home together.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/education/maryland-couple-want-free-range-kids-but-not-all-do/2015/01/14/d406c0be-9c0f-11e4-bcfb-059ec7a93ddc_story.html

hah here in France there's no legal age, and I see lots of kids ages 8 and younger going around town alone, to/fro school, even riding public trans.

kids are probably all drunk on fine wine too

man have I told you about school lunches here?

all stinky cheese and foie gras I assume

yes on former; don't think they've had foie gras yet. but it's four courses every day: entrée, main dish, dairy, and dessert. and they get 2 hours for lunch (including a recess). in the USA they get 15 minutes, no joke. which is all you need to scarf down your corn dog I guess.

15 minutes? my kid gets an hour

We get half an hour lunch, half an hour recess. The 1/2 hour recess is insufficient, imo.

Doesn't school get out late in France though?

my little one gets out at 4:30pm each day, whereas yeah in the usa it was 2:30pm. still 15 minutes is horrible.

i heard an encore broadcast of jennifer senior on fresh air this morning talking about her book "all joy, no fun" about modern parenting and there was a really interesting segment about sleep deprivation. has this been discussed here?

i was wondering whether or not judgement of other people's parenting would increase if one is sleep deprived and struggling to do one's best, only to see other people not following suit. i have a lot of friends who have privately told me that they feel completely squashed by the constant eyes looking at them and evaluating their success or failure. they're doing their best, but it leads to a lot of guilt and general bad feelings. i wish they didn't feel this way, but nothing i say makes any difference, in no small part because it's not something that affects my life (I don't have kids and I don't sit around thinking about other people's parenting). Still, since it affects the lives of virtually all my closest friends, i was wondering if anyone thinks there's a connection between sleep deprivation and vocal judgment of other people's parenting?

not trying to start a conflict, just wondering what ilx parents think

No way, I'm more understanding of other parents since I became a parent, not less.

Me too. I'm my own harshest critic but I don't really care what other people think of my parenting. And when it comes to other people, in most cases I think parents are just trying to do their best for their children. There are times when I think somebody might look at me critically, say, for paying more attention to my phone than F when we're on a train. But they wouldn't know that F is desperate for a nap and will fall asleep in his buggy if ignored.

it's possible that they're hypersensitive to it bc they are sleep deprived -- that has occurred to me. it's weird because these are not people i would have thought would really care what other people thought but it's weird how frequently they talk about it (when i manage to talk with them at all and by talk i mean email or text)

i find most other parents to be empathetic, it's the ones who don't have kids who seem a mite judgey sometimes.

IDC about other people, parents or not, judging me. But I do judge other parents all the time, but mostly in silence.

Everything is harder when you haven't gotten enough sleep for a year or two.

i know! that's what i'm saying -- i am trying to understand how maybe there is a relationship between sleep deprivation and the tendency to judge/feel judged. it just bums me out because i know people aren't being as harsh on my friends as they think people are being but my friends are so tired and worn out that i think they just slide into feeling blue. it bums me out on their behalf. this is why i asked.

i was wondering if anyone thinks there's a connection between sleep deprivation and vocal judgment of other people's parenting?

just to be clear - are you referring to parenting-related sleep deprivation?

or just regular old garden variety sleep deprivation

IDC about other people, parents or not, judging me. But I do judge other parents all the time, but mostly in silence.

^^^this

bear in mind I started this thread in the spirit of comedy, I don't really go around yelling at people about their shitty parenting. and we're all very supportive of each other here ime

the former

Maybe you're more likely to discuss what other parents you know do vs what you do and compare, and sometimes that gets judgey. At the same time I'm much more sympathetic when I see a random parent having trouble with their child in the street or something.

and my friends i'm referring to are not on ilx
i just get bits and pieces of these difficulties from them periodically

Maybe you're more likely to discuss what other parents you know do vs what you do and compare, and sometimes that gets judgey.
this, basically
and what i'm wondering, just idly and without malice, is whether sleep deprivation makes ppl extra sensitive about this
and the answer is probably yes but i wanted to see what you guys thought out of curiosity

I have no idea really, I'm going on 2 1/2+ years of constant sleep deprivation myself

if people do judge my parenting I'm not really aware of it and if I was well hey fuck them what do I care

that's easier for some people to say than others, ime -- and this is why i brought it up
i did not expect my friends to be so fragile, but sleep deprivation makes some people mean and some people fragile
no?

I'm sure it affects different people differently, mostly it just makes me out of it

LL I feel like you are talking around a specific bad experience

maybe
i don't know, and that's why i asked!

no I mean it just sounds like you were recently hanging out with some specific parent friends who freaked out about something and kind of shocked you and you're wondering if it's normal, ha