ILX Parenting 5: I'm a big kid now

When we dropped them off, the boys couldn't possibly have cared less. They both kind of looked at us like "oh, you're still here?" and had no outward reaction when the staff took them from us and brought them inside. The changeover was so quick my wife didn't have enough time to be weepy.

When my wife picked them up, they didn't want to leave. J in particular, who is the king of side-eye, looked at her askance was all "hell no I'm not going anywhere right now" and she had to cajole him into coming into her arms. They're both on the floor playing right now and are super happy. I am PSYCHED.

yay!

Awesome.

I was thinking about this earlier and the thing that really got to me was how Ivy smells different when she comes home from daycare. I'm used to it now but it upset me at first. Not like I was going to push her out of the nest or anything but just feeling sad and weird that other people had been handling her and getting not-our-home smells on her all day.

Not like I was going to push her out of the nest or anything

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

aw carl

Was reminded of something important tonight that I too often forget -- eye contact with your child is very important for trust.

Was having a lot of difficulty because the sleep routine has gotten all out of wack since our vacation, but my wife, now noticeably pregnant, really needs to sleep comfortably in her own bed and we really need our little one to sleep in her own bed. So tonight was the first night where we insisted that mommy was not going to stay on the mat in the room with her, and that I would, instead, until she fell asleep. She freaked out and seemed inconsolable, but what eventually seemed to work is when I was hugging her and looking her straight in the eyes and assuring her I would stay, and she suddenly calmed down.

Oh interesting.

Ivy is at the point where she would use that as an excuse to claw my eye out.

I feel like it's really easy to forget how little certainty/trust they have in the world. A few things happened recently that wouldn't shake an adult but could certainly shake a 3-year-old: (1) we were away from home for five days, staying in two other locations, one of which was unfamiliar to her, (2) my wife has a baby in her belly, and she sort of knows that although doesn't fully grasp it (3) two nigths ago I got pretty sick at work and wound up sleeping at my in-laws (close to work) rather than home (4) she just re-started school after break, (5) her teacher was out and they had a new sub. So I feel like in her mind there could be all these worries like "will my parents stop taking care of me or paying attention to me when there is a baby?" "when we leave home for a while is it always there when we get back?" "when daddy doesn't sleep at home one night will he come back?" "will my teacher come back?" etc.

yea totally! i've been trying to realize that some of J's tantrums are often about shit that he just has a hard time with developmentally - like when our routine gets fucked up, when a glass falls and breaks and water or milk spills everywhere (in his world that is NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN) -- J is only 2 right now so the tantrums happen at smaller shit than your 3-year-old i imagine, but yea i find it is very hard for him when his world gets messed up. he is learning that things go a certain way, and his routine is EVERYTHING to him, so when that shit gets messed up he sometimes can't handle it.

interestingly though he has taken a huge interest in mom's belly and the baby, gives hugs and kisses to it and says "hiiiiiii baby" pretty often. that might change when the baby is actually here obviously. but it is still pretty neat and i *think* he gets what's happening, because when we see a baby in a stroller or something he points to mama's belly too.

D has started doing this thing where when he's sitting in your lap or on the floor, he will start violently rocking back and forth. The first time I saw it, it was super alarming because it almost seemed like a seizure; my wife had a similar reaction and neither of us could figure out where he picked it up from or why he was doing it.

The other night I was feeding the boys solo; D was done and sitting in his high chair playing with a toy while I was finishing up with J. At some point, D dropped the toy, started doing his jerking rock thing, and scooted his high chair forward about a foot so he could reach the back of a chair, which he then started touching.

Kid can't fully crawl yet but he can scoot his high chair. Babies are endlessly fascinating.

Heh, we've had a similar thing with F - he does this weird, faintly disturbing, jerky head movement accompanied by strange noises. My first thought was, 'uh oh learning difficulties?' But then we realised he's mimicking adult conversation, possibly hearing us kind of like Peppermint Patty's teacher speaks in the Peanuts cartoons. So now we all make these stupid head jerks and noises together like a bunch of wallies.

Ivy used to shake her head back and forth really fast, which I think was just a thing she liked to do. But sometimes she'd do it on the bus and I'd want to be like, "OH LOOK AT YOU DOING THAT THING YOU DO SOMETIMES AND NOT HAVING A SEIZURE OR OTHER ISSUE WHATSOEVER."

Now her most alarming move is having these little mini-tantrums that involve arching her back and flinging her upper body backwards violently, which has more than once resulted in a bump to the head.

My parents are visiting and Ivy is taking total advantage of them, and getting my mom to more or less constantly walk her around (she'll walk if she can hold on to your hands and it is the thing she loves most in the world right now). She's learned this trick where she can walk my mom into the kitchen where the baby crackers are, and make her signature "AHHHHHHHHHHH BAH BAH" noise at the cracker box, and my mom will give her a cracker. Repeat 1,000,000 times.

My parents are being really amazing, though. My mom has already done all of the laundry, and my stepfather made breakfast AND did the dishes, shoveled the back steps, and took out the trash. And gave me $200 "for groceries."

LIL CEASE has started moving his head a lot, and will sort of have it held up before suddenly losing control and slamming it into my head or shoulder. He's also discovered that he can move his hands and cause them to hit things that dangle in front of him which is like the most mind-blowing thing. I guess when you're 7 weeks old everything is sort of mind blowing.

And kids reacting to kids is really interesting too - we have friends with a 5.5 year old and a 2.5 year old, and another on the way in June. The older one is fascinated by our baby, always asking "why does he look mad?" and "why can't he do anything?" and such. It's like he had no recollection of when his brother was born but knows there's going to be another baby around soon and is trying to figure out how they work.

yeah mine headbutts me quite a lot! also kicks his legs straight as if launching himself away from me. bound to end in injury sometime.

had the best day with him so far. which means i'm dreading tonight...

Oh yeah the headbutting. I fully expect to have my nose broken before Ivy turns two.

J head-butted my sister-in-law's partner directly in the mouth while playing over the Christmas break and I was lucky enough to get the whole thing on film. This will be saved for a graduation video.

Also the kicking. I've constantly got bruises around my midsection. And Jeff and I both usually have scratches on our face. For someone so adorable and cuddly and wonderful and generally good natured, our daughter can really rough us up.

D took a little chunk out of my nose the other day with his claws AFTER I'd trimmed his nails. Also both of them are getting very good at kicking me in the crotch.

Baby talons, man. They are unstoppable. I want to put little silicone caps on her nails like you can get for cats.

You gotta watch your eyes, I thought my left eye was perma-fucked for at least a week or two after she scratched it.

cutest lil killing machines

I've already had one cornea scratch that the eye doc said was probably due to a baby talon, since I couldn't think of any injury I had suffered and getting baby fingers in the eye is pretty much a daily occurrence.

cutting baby nails is bringing out the zen master in me

we usually wait until he's totally passed out to attempt that

Legitimate reason to put the telly on, imo.

I was picking her up from daycare last night. We were getting her boots on when she spots an insect. She loves insects. Growing Up Creepie – one of her favorite shows. She goes “daddy, let’s save that bug!” I look closer – it’s a small roach. I don’t want to make a fuss. I don’t think any of the daycare staff has noticed our interaction. I would kill the roach, but she wants to save it and she’s being so cute about it so I quietly grab a tissue and coax the roach onto it and rush her out the door, where we will set it free about 10 feet away in a bush.

But then everything goes wrong. The bug starts crawling toward me, right toward my hand! I freak out and drop the tissue. But when I look around on the sidewalk, the roach is nowhere to be seen on the ground. All that’s there is my daughter’s wide-open backpack. Trying to regain my calm, I zip the bag up tight and throw it in my car.

When I get home, I start methodically emptying the bag in the kitchen (dark and rainy out last night so there was really no other place to do this). Take out her spare change of clothes, examine, set them to the side. Take out her lunch box, examine, set it to the side. Her stuffed animal, her pull-ups, etc. All I’m left with is the empty backpack. I turn it upside-down over the middle of the kitchen floor, give it a light shake…and the roach falls out, bounces once, and then scurries away into a crack under the cabinets.

aw

meanwhile both of my kids got hit with the RSV hammer after one week of day care and are currently in the hospital under observation

That sucks. The beginning of daycare seems to be a big shock to the immune system for kids. I've already noticed a big drop in her being sick even since september though.

x-post - aw, Dan! that sounds stressful. hope they get better quick.

Oh Dan I'm sorry. I lived in abject fear of RSV when was younger, especially since she was preemie and our asshole insurance wouldn't cover the RSV vaccine.

I hope the boys are okay!

Feel better, little guys.

That sucks. The beginning of daycare seems to be a big shock to the immune system for kids.

Also parents. I've pretty much been sick since Ivy started daycare. Yay.

I live in fear of when my little guy starts getting colds etc. but I know it's gotta happen... And then me getting sick. And my bf getting sick (he is a giant wimp when it comes to illness. I just plow through.) There will be much handwashing but I know that doesn't matter much when daycare is in the picture. Ugh why must daycares be cesspools.

I hope your little guys are getting better, DJP!

Also, lol roach, so hard not to freak out.

Seriously. That was some heroic action on your part, how's life.

I keep telling myself that every time I get a cold, I develop immunities to another cold virus strain. At the rate I'm going, I should be immune to colds completely in five years.

I was always much more afraid of the stomach bugs than the colds -- a lot of dread about her throwing up/having diarrhea. But you know, it happens, you clean it up, things keep going.

how about a cold that leads to throwing up, giving you the best of both worlds

xxxp You could have zipped up the backpack overnight and sent it back to the daycare, roachie would probably have crawled back out the next day.

The cold that my family and I had last week led to throwing up. My daughter and I both gag when our throats get irritated I guess.

baby + 3-year-old is a whole new adventure

haha yeah, welcome to that club. unbelievable looking back.

idk where else to put this so I'm putting it here:

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B7OF4Q_IcAEHqlH.jpg

lol

haha yeah, welcome to that club. unbelievable looking back.

this week has been good -- the 3-year-old, who's slept pretty poorly most of his life, has been having good nights! but wow wow wow...I thought I knew fatigue with kid #1. no. I did not even know the beginning of it.

K took 1.5 hours to fall asleep last night, with me lying on the mat next to her.

yes. 1 + 1 ≠ 2 ; 1 + 1 = 200. it's exponential. and I say this as Euler, the Mastur of Us All

toilet training has begun. Had our first no-accident day yesterday (unless you count Ella standing up mid-pee to see what the admittedly unusually loud sloshing noise in the potty was).

A monster?