This is the thread where we judge other people's parenting

Not defending it or anything, but the culture where I'm from introduces ATV's and dirt bikes pretty early. I didn't have one when I was 6, but I did have my own ATV around 10. I probably should have been killed at some point, I was pretty reckless and did some dramatic acrobatics off of it at times. No helmet. I thought it was awesome since there wasn't much else to do around the house.

In fact, my father has already bought our 11 month old daughter a small dirt bike! Of course she can't ride it, but I think the idea was to have it there for her when she's ready. Of course, it is unlikely we would ever allow it.

So yeah, keep kids off those.

"this is a different kid, a daughter, not sure if it's the same mom"

I mean Yes that was story from 2009 I was referring.

xp: yeah. Had a fun discussion about that culture a few months agohere. Particular highlight:

Oh man. Don't me started on ATVs. I used to work at a hospital specifically for people with brain and/or spinal cord injuries. Do you know how many patients we had who had tumbled off an ATV? Like, all of them.

― kate78, Sunday, June 1, 2014 9:00 PM (4 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

my friends and i used to play tackle football in a vacant lot near my house. "fondest" memory: me passing to one of my friends and then he got tackled across the middle and broke his collarbone and we spent a few minutes trying to figure out how to fix it so we could keep playing while he begged us to just "push it back into place, i'm okay!" all the while tears streaming down his face.

xpost I can think of probably a half dozen examples from my home area where that has happened, at least with serious brain or spinal cord injuries. I'm sure there are many many more less serious injuries. The worst I ever did was fall directly on my tailbone and that hurt for several days. Oh, also burned my leg several times.

(XP) Collarbone kid should have been a cyclist.

Of the eight or so people I've known to have died in motor vehicle accidents, three of them were on ATVs.

my wife is always astonished by how many people i knew growing up when i was a kid who died in crazy accidents, i always explain that sometimes there isn't much to do out in the sticks except drive real fuckin fast. my best friend, my other best friend's gf, the guy who sat in front of me in english class, the homecoming queen of the class ahead of me...all of them went in car accidents within a couple years of each other.

Yeah we had a lot of car/motorcycle accidents too.

It was awesome getting your own mode of transportation, be it a ATV when you're ten, or a car when you're 16. It was really like the ultimate freedom and required because everything was so far apart. Otherwise you're stuck on the farm.

Now everyone just does meth. Probably less safe than driving.

i'm pretty sure half the people out on the country roads between the NW burbs of chicago and rockford are currently on crank

driving on those straightaway two lane rds with 55 mph limits scares me now

Six years old! kid can't read yet, maybe get her a book instead.

what do you mean, six-year-olds can't read?

i think he meant that particular six-year-old can't read?

so a book would be a good gift

yes

i don't feel like judging this woman is justified unless you have a handle on her housing, occupational, psychological etc situation

― smoochy-woochy touchy-wouchy, (sunny successor)

i spend a good deal of my introspective time (ie not all that much time tbh) wondering how our gang of four would've turned out had someone taken the time to call some kind of services on our behalf in eh say 1992 or so. i've never been able to come up with a plausible scenario where things turned out much worse for anyone involved (tbrr it was rural ireland and the church still had much of their stranglehold, for all i know ppl were ringing about us every week to no avail).

I brought this up on a totally different thread but I have several high school friends/acquaintances who talk about their kids being indigo children and whenever I see it, I alternate between intense sadness and hysterical giggling.

closer they are to fine?

lol I went to click the bookmark link because it's in the same spot as the like button on Facebook

I'm now judging myself

Several?! JFC d get new friends.

Oh well I guess they are your hs friends so you probably ahve.

haha wtf had to google indigo children

Although no scientific studies give credibility to the existence of indigo children or their traits, the phenomenon appeals to some parents whose children have been diagnosed with learning disabilities and to parents seeking to believe that their children are special. Critics view this as a way for parents to avoid considering pediatric treatment or a psychiatric diagnosis.

http://sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com/2014/11/06/colma-shopper-attacked-after-telling-mom-to-calm-down-child-throwing-tantrum-natalie-bree-hajek-richardson-nordstrom-rack-punched-assault/

I have a lot of sympathy for the puncher

Yeah I mean, clearly the mother was wrong to punch that irritating should-have-kept-her-mouth-shut dipshit in her face but it's not like I don't understand the impulse, and so far my kids haven't had the opportunity to really have a public tantrum.

yeah petty violence is definitely defensible

haha it is an unfortunate situation but I have little to no judgement here for the parent. People telling parents to calm do their kids need to stfu imo

Insert louis ck joke

i got in a fb argument with my friend over this. but that shushy lady is so punchable. it's nordstrom rack not a goddamn library get over yourself

I am more of a slapper. I would have slapped her.

When your child misbehaves in public, I at least, feel the eyes of the world and judgement of the ages on me. Thankfully, so far, has not been more than twice. I stay cool and try not to get too nervous or anxious (under assumed pressure) because that is no help to my situation and my child will pick up on it. When I can and am lucky enough to have a distraction that works, I use that. If not, I do start making my way out of the area and outside to a bathroom or into the truck.

If during this process I were to receive any comments at all that I would perceive as negative, in my state, I would release all tension on whoever decided to make themselves available. Before I had children, if there was a child throwing a loud tantrum, I'd get away from it. I did wonder once why a mother continued to roll her screaming child through Target at 9pm. It really irritated me, this kid was loud, but I hurried out of there. I felt bad for them both.

no shame in punching skrillex.

lol Manhattan parents

Uber-well-groomed couple come in with their maybe 11-year-old daughter, everyone super thin and dressed in designer shit and with fancy haircuts and whatnot, and I just caught a moment of the mom saying to the daughter in this totally forced, fake-sounding, very anxious way "Well yeees honey of course you can just have a coconut water if you want why don't you just have a coconut water that'd be fiiiiiine" -- it just sounded like a person who didn't know how to actually relate to her daughter like a normal human being, like she had to "act" with her daughter.

Actually I have an advice question, perhaps worth asking here:

We've had problems with our downstairs neighbors for a while -- they can't tolerate any noise and bang on the ceiling, and a couple of times they have come up to complaint, always rudely, never a civil introduction. We have a toddler and the floors are thin (we do 80% carpeting with pads but there's only so much we can do to contain our jumping bean).

Last night their teenage son came upstairs, was presumably home alone, and just started shouting and cursing the second I opened the door. I basically told him "I can't really do anything about it right now" because my daughter had a friend over and they were tough to completely contain, and when he got even more furious I told him "I'm done talking to you now, have a good night" and shut the door in his face. He started angrily pressing the buzzer. I'm wondering if I should go speak to his parents about it -- the way he approached us was really offensive and pissed me off. If he had asked nicely I would have done more to control the noise.

This is the thread where we judge other people judging other people's parenting

the circle completes itself

yea hurting that is some bullshit. i have no tolerance for people complaining about noisy kids in an apartment building. kids are noisy, there is nothing that a parent can do about it.

Yeah, that's not OK, hurting. Especially since they have kids themselves!

We've just moved into a flat which has single professionals above and below and I feel horribly guilty about all the shouting our teething little guy is doing at 4am, but at the same time there's exactly 0 we can do about it.

marcos otm re: Hurting's neighbors sorry they are assholes

Yeah I have no doubt that they are assholes, just wondering if it's worth talking to these assholes about their asshole son.

Also a lot of it is really just the dynamics of the building -- hollow walls etc., sound really carries. Floor is also creaky. They apparently had an ongoing feud with the couple who lived there before.

(lived in our place before)

i don't think it's worth it tbh, since you mentioned they are generally rude as well. from now on i really think that every time they come up to complain you just say " "I'm done talking to you now, have a good night" and shut the door like you did with their teenager

the good part of me says invite the people up, meet your kid, give them a gift (I probably stole this idea from ilx)

the normal side of me says "this too shall pass", yelling at you is annoying but it doesn't "mean anything"

Def not inviting them up at this point -- too much bad feeling already, but I thought about going down and trying to have a civil conversation with them at least. The irony is that a few months after we first moved in was K's 2nd bday party and we left them a note about the noise, and they actually wrote a note back thanking us for our civil communication or something like that. But they have never once communicated civilly to us (other than that reply note), they just bang on the ceiling or send their idiot son up.

if there's anything that quiets a baby its loud banging coming from the floor amirite

BTW haven't said so yet, but we have another one on the way so they are in for a treat ;)

(said so on ILX)