ILX Parenting 5: I'm a big kid now

woah

please print "Fuck Washing a Hat" onesies, will pre-order

I sat my kid down recently and had a heart-to-heart with him about the life cycle of hats, as his prized Domo flatbrim got to looking a little too sweatstained around the edges. I didn't tell him "fuck washing a hat" outright but it informed the spirit of the convo.

http://images.cpcache.com/merchandise/362_460x460_Front_Color-SkyBlue.png?region=%7B%22name%22:%22FrontCenter%22,%22width%22:5,%22height%22:1,%22alignment%22:%22TopCenter%22,%22template%22:%7B%22id%22:84803831,%22params%22:%7B%22yourtexthere%22:%22Fuck%20Washing%20a%20Hat%22%7D%7D%7D

lol

The class hamster is crashing at our place

So I think I posted before about how K is physically behind, has low muscle tone, and gets some light physical therapy. She's 2 and 8 months now and seems to have had a breakthrough. I got home tonight and she was at the playground with her mom -- she actually asked to go, which she never does, and when I got there she was running around like a fireball, climbing, jumping, and even hanging/swinging from bars. Totally confident going up to the tall slide and going down herself too. And completely happy. I'm always extra concerned about that stuff because I had a tough time physically as a little kid, so it made me really happy to see.

Good news!

That's great! Go K!

K called our doorman tonight (apparently the intercom phone is live if you pick it up, didn't realize) and asked if he wanted to come to sesame street

omg <3

K is winning at awesome right now.

Oh man! lol

So adorable!

<3

Hooray to growing independence, boo to this whole "when i get frustrated i smack myself over and over in the head" deal.

"C'mon dad, can't a guy just tear the cable jack out of the wall in peace" *smack smack scream smack*

Oh good it's not just our son. Also he's started hitting us now. We have taught him that we use nice hands.

Ivy is into hitting and eye-gouging. I've found myself using one of my mom's old standby phrases a lot: People are not for hitting. People are for loving.

also virginia

According to the infallible Internet it's super common, particularly in boy children. So another reason that dudes suck, basically

At this rate due to his advanced size and violent tendencies, I am v concerned my son will grow up to play sports.

My kid shows more proclivity towards sports than I ever did. He's often wandering out to the park with a baseball or football, whereas when I was his age it was always bikes and skateboards. We enrolled him in kung fu when he was 4 and that's been the closest thing to an organized sport that he does. However, I could totally see him getting reeled into baseball or lacrosse or something in middle school.

I could deal with baseball or football (though I would greatly prefer skateboarding) but my son getting really into hockey would be my great fear and major test of being a supportive parent

I'm hoping for tennis or basketball since those are two sports I like to watch. Girls ice hockey is very popular around here though so who knows. Or she may end up like me and give up after multiple unsuccessful sports team tryouts and go on to letter in band and drama.

Really whatever she wants except no football because that shit is way too dangerous.

Right now my son is showing a militaristic side (god, I hope it's a phase). He'll say shit that raises my hackles so badly. I'm pressed to come up with any good quotable examples, but you can imagine the kind of horrendous jingoism that can come out of the mouth of a 10 year old.

We live just outside of Annapolis, so there are often midshipmen out on the town in dress whites on the weekends. So if we're walking through Target or Whole Foods and he sees a mid he'll snap to attention and salute them. Also, for a while he would stand up and salute every time this commercial came on:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EEtZ5r0CIYI

My wife and I have told him to knock it off.

lol

I'm hoping for tennis or basketball since those are two sports I like to watch. Girls ice hockey is very popular around here though so who knows. Or she may end up like me and give up after multiple unsuccessful sports team tryouts and go on to letter in band and drama.

Track also acceptable.

CA: I don't know much about women's football, but I doubt it would be anywhere near as dangerous as men's football since a good amount of the danger is going to come from the higher body mass of boys/men (i.e. greater mass + speed/momentum = harder hits and higher risk of injury). That said, I wouldn't be rushing my daughter into football either. Her chances of being an athlete are probably not high anyway, which is fine, but I guess you never know. She's insanely tall so far, for example, like off-the-charts tall, and if that actually continues she might be basketball material.

Evie asked me the other day if when her dance class is over if she could play football instead.

Yes, track would be great, too. That's super fun to watch. xp

Let's sit our daughters down and make them watch that Frontline episode about brain damage in football.

my son getting really into hockey would be my great fear and major test of being a supportive parent

― joygoat, Wednesday, October 15, 2014 2:53 PM (47 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol Canada

In the last couple years I've had at least two canadian guys separately find out I'm from upper michigan and immediately ask DO YOU PLAY HOCKEY? They were both trying to get some adult league going and were confused and bummed out when I told them I don't even know how to ice skate.

up here it's just "skating". no need to differentiate from land skating, or the less popular vapor skating.

August's Foofa Halloween costume arrived and she freaked out. So I took her to Savers to see other costumes and she freaked out. Thinking this Halloween might be a bust. I miss the days of dressing my child...I had it for only 18 months, thought it would last five years.

we now have a tentatively walking child. goodbye safety, hopes, dreams, lack of worry

I'm worried about this Halloween too. The last two Halloweens, my little girl dressed up in a ladybug costume. About two months ago, she told me that she wanted to be a vampire and that she wanted me to dress up in a ladybug costume. I was cool with this idea, and checked in every once in a while to make sure she was still on board for that. "Hey Abby, what do you want to be for halloween?" And she came back with this idea every time. Seemed like she was committed. Then last week, mommy came up with the idea that I should be a unicorn. And Abby has glommed onto the idea with glee. But I'm sitting here like "What about our plans? Our plans!"

She still wants to be a vampire, but I'm really concerned about a last minute reversal.

The big kid is going as Freddy Krueger and we've already bought him a fedora and a sweater, so there's no backing out of that.

I would just like to say that parenting an 11 month old while both parents have food poisoning is very difficult.

Awww Life....

Jeff, yikes! Hope you can all hang in there.

My wife and I once got a bad stomach flu at the same time around when K was that age, and we actually called an ambulance because we were so lightheaded and weak that we felt like we couldn't take care of her. Was a bad flu but probably would have toughed it out in the pre-baby days. Speedy recovery, hang in there.

My wife is a genius. Baby hates cold crib and will only sleep in your bed? Throw a heating pad on low in there ten minutes before bedtime for a toasty sheet and the kiddo(s) will think they're still sleeping with you.

ding!

Ooh good tip! I have a friend who could use that idea. Ours likes a cool cot - we *think* the trick to sleeping through is to maintain a room temperature of 18-19C. It certainly worked again last night, but that's only the 10th time in his life.

FYI you can make a pretty decent emergency bib from half a plastic bag plus a muslin. Ahem.

The cycle of illness since Friday before last has gone:

1. Ivy got pink eye.
2. I got pink eye and a rotten cold.
3. I got ear infections.
4. Jeff got food poisoning or whatever the fuck it was.
5. I got food poisoning (I'm still taking meds for the pink eye and ear infections).
6. Ivy has pink eye again.

I want my mom. :(

Last Presidents' Day weekend we were all laid low with a case of norovirus. The toddler got it first, from about Friday through Sunday. Late Sunday night my wife and I both woke up with it, claiming separate bathrooms as our own territory. We were absolutely useless on Monday. I went to bed on the couch at like 10 o'clock on Monday morning and woke up late in the afternoon, with the sunlight shining in on a completely different part of the room. Basically, our ten year old was left to look after the now-recovered toddler and respond to me and my wife's feeble requests for water/more toilet paper/etc. He essentially sequestered himself in his bedroom and would only come out with a tshirt wrapped around his face. Poor guy didn't get it until that Thursday.

I would just like to say that parenting an 11 month old while both parents have food poisoning is very difficult.

― Jeff, Monday, October 20, 2014 5:46 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Carl and Jeff, I know 11 months is def harder than 2 years but PP and I feel you SO much on this. We both got food poisoning (McDonalds LOL) when Beatrice was 2 and I was 5-6 months pregnant with Henry. Not pretty.

My wife is a genius. Baby hates cold crib and will only sleep in your bed? Throw a heating pad on low in there ten minutes before bedtime for a toasty sheet and the kiddo(s) will think they're still sleeping with you.

― 💪😈⚠️ (DJP), Monday, October 20, 2014 9:21 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

This is def genius