ILX Parenting 5: I'm a big kid now

lol. wonder where the diaper ended up.

So teething is a real thing that is happening.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

As we entered the second hour of Ivy absolutely not sleeping and I watched my sleep allotment dwindle, I thought long and hard about letting her cry it out. But we have upstairs and downstairs neighbors whose bedrooms are vertically adjacent to Ivy's and she has a very lusty and raucous cry when she's feeling ignored so I didn't do it. But if we lived in a house in the middle of a field, I probably would have given it a try. Instead, she got to lay on my lap and grab my face and kick and giggle and squeal and wave at ghosts (I mean I assume that's what she's always waving at) and I cried it out quietly to myself.

aw.

She has one little bottom tooth (CUTE) and she's been grabbing at her ears and sucking on her gums being generally fussy/discontent and I can kind of see the outlines of her top teeth so I'm thinking she may be getting a couple at once.

Yeah "cry it out" is tough in the urban setting. In my experience you're going to have to go there eventually so ... maybe just give your neighbors gift baskets with cookies and ear plugs?

i never even thought of that as a dude with a house. sorry to you dudes, that must raise the tension level dramatically.

have you considered hating your neighbors, that might help

We had a 30 minute howler of a crying fit at bedtime last night because she wanted to play with her hexbug nanos instead. So much raw sorrow.

We had some really shitty stressful moments resulting from having a crying baby in an apartment, but the asshole neighbors eventually moved out and everyone was cool after that. In our new place, we only have neighbors upstairs and they seem chill and they have a dog who likes to run around on their creaky floors early in the morning so they can't complain about any crying.

imo neighbors who are pissy about a crying baby need to fuck right off

otm

fortunately we've never had to deal with that, our boo radley 78 collector duplex neighbor complained about him jumping up and down once the last time we saw him (in november) but otherwise we've had zero issues. i always hate to hear those kinds of stories, though.

I started to type out the story and it was making me mad all over again so whatever. It's on ILX somewhere. It's over now. (Deep breaths)

I honestly don't think our neighbors can hear the crying. Not that I would let her cry it out anyway. She so rarely gets that way, I'll take the lack of sleep for when it does happen.

teething...one good thing about it is that it marks the end of the shittiest parent times, since their lives become more "human" at that point

NA I remember that situation and I still harbor significant ill will towards your shitbird crapface neighbors.

have you considered hating your neighbors, that might help

LOL these are the first sets of neighbors I haven't hated, or at least been extremely irritated by, since approximately 1998.

I think they'd understand but yeah, if we're going to go down the crying it out road, I definitely want to get the neighbors on board first.

Not that I would let her cry it out anyway. She so rarely gets that way, I'll take the lack of sleep for when it does happen.

― Jeff, Monday, August 18, 2014 3:54 PM (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Easy for you to say. You're in Nashville. You probably slept great last night.

(I'm not ready to let her cry it out anyway, but last night's sleeplessness was uncharacteristic and very protracted and I was starting to feel a little desperate.)

imo neighbors who are pissy about a crying baby need to fuck right off

^^^

to be fair, i am neighbors to a crying baby and i get pretty pissy about it problem is hes my baby

lol

I should say that if Jeff had been home, he probably would have gotten up with Ivy instead of me. He's got the magic touch for getting her to go back to sleep when she wakes up and wants play time (instead of meal time) and sleeps closer to the baby monitor. The last time she woke up in the middle of the night, I slept right through it.

I'm also a big whiny baby myself when it comes to not getting enough sleep whereas Jeff is a total trooper.

^^^ i do the clock countdown too

Good article that sums up the sorry state of parental leave in the US - http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/parenting/wp/2014/08/13/a-tale-of-two-maternity-leaves/

it is fucking insanity.

i have such hard time reading that without burning up inside, fuck

also so many of the places that have "good" maternity leave policies have jack shit for fathers

I got frustrated about no paternity leave again last week so I emailed HR with the news story about the EEOC's new recommendations. No response.

So re: my last post, HR just got back to me and said that based on that news, they talked with the org lawyer and are now offering me the same amount of paternity leave that they offer for maternity leave. They got stuck because they don't indicate in the maternity policy how much of it is for recovery vs. bonding.

wait where are these new guidelines? i had a baby in june; could this apply to my situation as well?

uh my wife had the baby.

congrats wmlynch!

imo neighbors who are pissy about a crying baby need to fuck right off

^^^

― Οὖτις, Monday, August 18, 2014 12:54 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

The reality is they have no choice but to fuck right off.

We discussed it upthread, starting here: ILX Parenting 5: I'm a big kid now. Probably too late for you, unfortunately, since it seems like you're supposed to take the leave right after the baby's born, but it likely depends on your work's policies.

thanks. she's my second daughter. i took 4 weeks of leave with pfl pay (i'm in cali) when she was born, but used vacation for the first week. i'm going to look into what my employer offers for maternity leave and see if i could at least get some of that vacation back. i type this while i'm home sick with hand, foot and mouth (that i got at work!).

congrats (on the daughter, not the illness)

Go NA!

Nothing like watching a giant turd drop from your child as they are walking towards you crying and demanding fish sticks. Seriously, that is up there with spotting falling stars and foxes and seeing kittens being born. The event was followed by the hysterics of seeing her own poop on the floor next to her snack plate and crayons.

oh man, that is horrible and I apologize for the snorting laughter I'm stifling in my cubicle

Update from the DJP household: both boys are now eating rice cereal at their evening feeding; J has been at it three days, D two. The one constant between the two of them (on different days, fortunately) was repeated crying while the spoon was not in their mouths, followed by contemplative swallowing and contentment when there was actual food in their mouths. It was this hilarious pattern of "I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I Mmmmmm mmmmm.... mmmmm mmmmmmmMMM HATE THIS I HATE THIS"

Last night, D was stuck in this loop, partially because he has a tongue thrust and kept pushing the food out of his mouth while trying to swallow it, while J was basically an old pro, sucking down spoonfuls of food and, at one point, stopping me and wiping his mouth off with his bib. Babies are amazing, y'all.

oh man, that is horrible and I apologize for the snorting laughter I'm stifling in my cubicle

^ this except I'm working from home and didn't stifle anything

dying

since i didn't actually contribute anything last week: i got hand, foot and mouth from work. shit is naaaaasty. skin on my hands and feet is peeling off. spent a week sleeping on the couch and avoiding my 3.5 yr old and the 3 month old. neither got it but it feels so good to hold/hug them again.

Where do you work?

I'm glad you're feeling better.

just an office. a coworker had dinner with a friend whose kids had it, but he told her 'adults can't get it.'

DJP: How many months are they now?

Rule of thumb: Adults can pretty much get anything from kids, it's dogs that you can't get anything from.

On Wednesday they will by 6 months!

Awwwww, well on their way!

People keep telling me what a great age six months is, and they're right! The developmental changes that have happened to F recently mean he's doing all kinds of great stuff - turning pages of books at the right place, getting excited about views from windows, laughing at simple jokes - and I keep wanting to burst into tears at the awesomeness of it all. If only he could work out how to roll front-to-back because I'm reeeeeally sick of flipping him over, only for him to roll back onto his tummy seconds later and start struggling like an upside-down turtle. BABIES.

Kids these days!

So tickled for alla y'all. My daughter made dinner tonight, "just wanted to play with my food" so she made chicken cordon bleu. Asked me how to fix a sauce that had broken. Kids, gotta love 'em, full of beans at all ages. (PS Ive had some beer.)

hey y'all I am a grandfather! I guess this is the thread to hang out in for now. 9 lbs 2 oz at birth, she is just over 3 weeks now. we live about 6 hours from the parents (my wife's oldest son & his wife) and they came to visit w/baby last weekend, I got to look deep into her little eyes and hold her while she struggled to poop, it was like a whole body effort. I have experience w/kids from past relationships, but not babies, it's gonna be super cool to see her grow.