ILX Parenting 5: I'm a big kid now

Best so-glad-that's-not-me moment I had was eating fast food with my son while the couple in the next booth over negotiated with their two daughters and newborn. The girls went out to play on the playground, and the husband was all "uh-oh!" Mom was just "it's your turn, Jerry."

Dad and baby go off to the back and 20 seconds later are back at the table. Husband shrugs his shoulders half-heartedly and goes "No Koala." Poor woman answers back with ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

It's rare for there to be baby changing facilities in the gents' here. Stet only does nappies when we're out if they have unisex loos or a separate room (Westfield shopping malls and John Lewis department stores have great family rooms with breastfeeding cubicles and double toilets too).

August has been taking her diapers off herself, putting on a pair of panties (she has six at this point) taking those off and putting on another pair before taking those off and going without anything. Every now and then slips on a swimming diaper. It's hard to keep up with all the changes on top of her changing outfits constantly. So when I asked her to please get dressed this morning and she picked out a jumper with apron and panties, I thought... morning, grocery store...hmmm feel bad but I don't trust you to tell me you need to potty or myself to find you a potty that you wouldn't mind sitting on so I put her diapers on. We are at the grocery store, I had what I came for and was just browsing when she raises her dress and I see that she has nothing on. It was time to go.

Little man went ham at the family birthday party tonight, he will now be opening every wrapped present he sees for the rest of his life, no matter whose they are

oh I hope there is video of this

omg Tera I'm sure that was far from funny to you but that made me laugh.

lol. wonder where the diaper ended up.

So teething is a real thing that is happening.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

As we entered the second hour of Ivy absolutely not sleeping and I watched my sleep allotment dwindle, I thought long and hard about letting her cry it out. But we have upstairs and downstairs neighbors whose bedrooms are vertically adjacent to Ivy's and she has a very lusty and raucous cry when she's feeling ignored so I didn't do it. But if we lived in a house in the middle of a field, I probably would have given it a try. Instead, she got to lay on my lap and grab my face and kick and giggle and squeal and wave at ghosts (I mean I assume that's what she's always waving at) and I cried it out quietly to myself.

aw.

She has one little bottom tooth (CUTE) and she's been grabbing at her ears and sucking on her gums being generally fussy/discontent and I can kind of see the outlines of her top teeth so I'm thinking she may be getting a couple at once.

Yeah "cry it out" is tough in the urban setting. In my experience you're going to have to go there eventually so ... maybe just give your neighbors gift baskets with cookies and ear plugs?

i never even thought of that as a dude with a house. sorry to you dudes, that must raise the tension level dramatically.

have you considered hating your neighbors, that might help

We had a 30 minute howler of a crying fit at bedtime last night because she wanted to play with her hexbug nanos instead. So much raw sorrow.

We had some really shitty stressful moments resulting from having a crying baby in an apartment, but the asshole neighbors eventually moved out and everyone was cool after that. In our new place, we only have neighbors upstairs and they seem chill and they have a dog who likes to run around on their creaky floors early in the morning so they can't complain about any crying.

imo neighbors who are pissy about a crying baby need to fuck right off

otm

fortunately we've never had to deal with that, our boo radley 78 collector duplex neighbor complained about him jumping up and down once the last time we saw him (in november) but otherwise we've had zero issues. i always hate to hear those kinds of stories, though.

I started to type out the story and it was making me mad all over again so whatever. It's on ILX somewhere. It's over now. (Deep breaths)

I honestly don't think our neighbors can hear the crying. Not that I would let her cry it out anyway. She so rarely gets that way, I'll take the lack of sleep for when it does happen.

teething...one good thing about it is that it marks the end of the shittiest parent times, since their lives become more "human" at that point

NA I remember that situation and I still harbor significant ill will towards your shitbird crapface neighbors.

have you considered hating your neighbors, that might help

LOL these are the first sets of neighbors I haven't hated, or at least been extremely irritated by, since approximately 1998.

I think they'd understand but yeah, if we're going to go down the crying it out road, I definitely want to get the neighbors on board first.

Not that I would let her cry it out anyway. She so rarely gets that way, I'll take the lack of sleep for when it does happen.

― Jeff, Monday, August 18, 2014 3:54 PM (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Easy for you to say. You're in Nashville. You probably slept great last night.

(I'm not ready to let her cry it out anyway, but last night's sleeplessness was uncharacteristic and very protracted and I was starting to feel a little desperate.)

imo neighbors who are pissy about a crying baby need to fuck right off

^^^

to be fair, i am neighbors to a crying baby and i get pretty pissy about it problem is hes my baby

lol

I should say that if Jeff had been home, he probably would have gotten up with Ivy instead of me. He's got the magic touch for getting her to go back to sleep when she wakes up and wants play time (instead of meal time) and sleeps closer to the baby monitor. The last time she woke up in the middle of the night, I slept right through it.

I'm also a big whiny baby myself when it comes to not getting enough sleep whereas Jeff is a total trooper.

^^^ i do the clock countdown too

Good article that sums up the sorry state of parental leave in the US - http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/parenting/wp/2014/08/13/a-tale-of-two-maternity-leaves/

it is fucking insanity.

i have such hard time reading that without burning up inside, fuck

also so many of the places that have "good" maternity leave policies have jack shit for fathers

I got frustrated about no paternity leave again last week so I emailed HR with the news story about the EEOC's new recommendations. No response.

So re: my last post, HR just got back to me and said that based on that news, they talked with the org lawyer and are now offering me the same amount of paternity leave that they offer for maternity leave. They got stuck because they don't indicate in the maternity policy how much of it is for recovery vs. bonding.

wait where are these new guidelines? i had a baby in june; could this apply to my situation as well?

uh my wife had the baby.

congrats wmlynch!

imo neighbors who are pissy about a crying baby need to fuck right off

^^^

― Οὖτις, Monday, August 18, 2014 12:54 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

The reality is they have no choice but to fuck right off.

We discussed it upthread, starting here: ILX Parenting 5: I'm a big kid now. Probably too late for you, unfortunately, since it seems like you're supposed to take the leave right after the baby's born, but it likely depends on your work's policies.

thanks. she's my second daughter. i took 4 weeks of leave with pfl pay (i'm in cali) when she was born, but used vacation for the first week. i'm going to look into what my employer offers for maternity leave and see if i could at least get some of that vacation back. i type this while i'm home sick with hand, foot and mouth (that i got at work!).

congrats (on the daughter, not the illness)

Go NA!

Nothing like watching a giant turd drop from your child as they are walking towards you crying and demanding fish sticks. Seriously, that is up there with spotting falling stars and foxes and seeing kittens being born. The event was followed by the hysterics of seeing her own poop on the floor next to her snack plate and crayons.

oh man, that is horrible and I apologize for the snorting laughter I'm stifling in my cubicle

Update from the DJP household: both boys are now eating rice cereal at their evening feeding; J has been at it three days, D two. The one constant between the two of them (on different days, fortunately) was repeated crying while the spoon was not in their mouths, followed by contemplative swallowing and contentment when there was actual food in their mouths. It was this hilarious pattern of "I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I Mmmmmm mmmmm.... mmmmm mmmmmmmMMM HATE THIS I HATE THIS"

Last night, D was stuck in this loop, partially because he has a tongue thrust and kept pushing the food out of his mouth while trying to swallow it, while J was basically an old pro, sucking down spoonfuls of food and, at one point, stopping me and wiping his mouth off with his bib. Babies are amazing, y'all.

oh man, that is horrible and I apologize for the snorting laughter I'm stifling in my cubicle

^ this except I'm working from home and didn't stifle anything

dying

since i didn't actually contribute anything last week: i got hand, foot and mouth from work. shit is naaaaasty. skin on my hands and feet is peeling off. spent a week sleeping on the couch and avoiding my 3.5 yr old and the 3 month old. neither got it but it feels so good to hold/hug them again.

Where do you work?

I'm glad you're feeling better.

just an office. a coworker had dinner with a friend whose kids had it, but he told her 'adults can't get it.'