ILX Parenting 5: I'm a big kid now

the sweet-potato sized fetus presently rooming at Mrs A's has begun its kicking. the reality that there will be a complete wild-man three year old and an infant in this house before long is beginning to loom like a tidal wave gathering out there on the sea in slow motion

it's crazier than you can know

there's a kind of golden zone between 8-ish months or whenever they learn to sleep and age ohhh 3 or so. what i'm really dreading is when my 2-year-old turns into as much of a whiny haggler as his older brother is

Yeah I am also not sure how to feel about the impending insanity of two kids.

looking forward to following the plight of aero as a cautionary tale to keep me from throwing caution to the wind and having another kid at my advanced age.

Kinda feel like having one kid is way more punk rock and I'm selling out.

eagerly awaiting the announcement 5 months from now re: jjj babby #2

I'll be sure to pin it to my shirt before I hang myself

hang the jj
hang the jj
hang the jj

fwiw #3 is way awesome again b/c yr all like "I'm a pro now, f all advice forever"

lol

Something long-term I'm trying to figure out about having two kids - whether sharing a room is a good idea or not. We're looking for a bigger apartment right now and will hopefully have a separate nursery, bc I don't really want a crying baby in the same room as the four-year-old at 3 a.m. But once they're like 6 yrs old and 2 yrs old, they might enjoy sharing a room? Or does this cause problems?

my sister and I shared a room for 10 years - she still bears a scar on her nose from the time I kicked her in the face

ymmv

It's worth trying out. If it ends up causing problems, then just rearrange the situation.

lol VG

it seems most problematic with the infant/age difference. older sibling would probably resent the younger sibling moving in but idk.

we put our girls in a room together. sometimes it makes it harder for them to fall asleep at night (bc they crack each other up) but in general it has worked okay.

In our house, we all fall asleep in the same room, although we've taken to carrying our 10 year old back into his room after he falls asleep. Falling asleep together as a family is pretty fun.

We're planning on having (hypothetical) #2 share with #1 unless we're much richer in a few years.

yeah, who can spare the extra bedroom honestly

for most of our family's life our kids have shared rooms. for a year all three shared a room. this coming year the teen will have her own room & the others will share again. it's been good

Right now Evie is very enthusiastic about sharing a room with her sister but obv that will change once the sister becomes a physical reality.

In the USA we have five bedrooms (yay Midwest) and all kids have own rooms but moving back to Europe obv changes everything though we'll have a three bedroom, an improvement from the past when we all lived in a 90m2 apt

As an only child I can't speak to sharing a room with a sibling (although I did share a room with my mom at various points in my childhood) but if we were to have another child (we are not, fyi) they would definitely share a room.

The obvious ulterior motive here is eventually being able to turn the baby's room into an office/music room/guest room.

We are genuinely contemplating turning a coal cellar into a bedroom (yes we have a coal cellar), although not necessary at the moment.

I've just had a crash course in cloth nappies as well. It's a minefield! But I now feel a lot more equipped.

Bless all of you who go the cloth diapers route. Sometimes I think, "How would it have worked if we had gone with cloth diapers?" and then I laugh and/or cry depending on how much poop and/or laundry I'm dealing with at the moment.

I cry about all my money that's gone into pampers. Absolutely cry.

Our (new) washing machine broke almost two weeks ago, it took the repair people a week to get out here to look at it, they had to order a part that won't be in until the end of the week and it will be at least another week after that before they can come and install it. Our landlord, may the universe rain blessings upon him, has offered to reimburse us for drop off service but I still feel better taking Ivy's clothes to the laundromat myself (especially since I can get them all in one triple load and the drop off place charges extra for unscented detergent). Anyway I think I mostly just want sympathy.

I'm so sleepy.

yeah for all their warts we are about that cloth diaper life

I'd be willing to pay up to three times more than whatever pampers cost now to not ever have to deal with cloth diapers.

yeah the laundry thing is not fun and it's a big outlay at the start but otherwise you are just turning cash into landfill plastic (no judgement, just something that irks my skinflint sensibility).
*Apparently* you at least get fewer poosplosions because it's more contained than Pampers which just let it turn into a 3-piece-suit of shit if you're not careful (no elasticated waist).

Anyway I have zero experience with either so who knows

we have a compostable diaper service. its p awesome

The only time we had a serious blowout is when Ivy was coming off antibiotics for an ear infection, and I heard things happening in the diaper region, but I was like "Let me give it a minute to make sure she's done before I change her" and the next thing I knew we were both covered in poop. Unfortunately this happened right after our washer broke but fortunately we were home.

"Let me give it a minute to make sure she's done before I change her"

Every single time I've thought this, without exception, we've had an up-the-back number.

Poop shorts poop shorts poor shorts

I know right? But the alternative is a bare butt poop event and that's no good either.

Pooooooop.

In my limited experience, bare-butt poop into a waiting or already-soiled diaper is way easier to clean up than a back bomb

That's true, especially when the up-the-back event involves my clothes.

Xposts to N/A...if you don't have space keep B2 with you and Sarah until s/he is ready for big bed times.

And when it comes to big bed time heed my words: never underestimate the appeal of a bunk bed to anyone under 10

Only if the older kid gets the top bunk. Speaking from bitter experience :(

We started off our two together, when Molly was around 18 months. It was a complete and utter nightmare, bedtime was hellish. Basically if Aidan was in the same room as her she wouldn't settle, and he wanted to be with her, sleeping in her bed. In the end we sacrificed the spare room so they had a room each. Aidan hated it as he just wanted to be with her but she settles SO much better without him there.

It's kind of scary when they start becoming really more fully aware of things and more fully able to communicate, like suddenly you have this extra fully sentient being watching you all the time and wondering what you're doing and asking you about it.

A couple of days ago for the first time, Ivy reached up to me to get me to pick her up and I kind of freaked out because it was the first time she attempted to communicate something specific to me (You, food lady. Yes, you. Pick me up) as opposed to just generally to the world (I'm hungry this sucks WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA). BABIES ARE A FUCKING TRIP, Y'ALL.

Aw.

Her main means of communicating with me is still just trying to claw my eyes out.

aw, she speaks the same language as my boys

D has started doing this amazing thing where he softly rubs up against your cheek and, when the cuteness takes over and you turn to kiss the top of his head, he head-butts you. He does this CONSTANTLY. It somehow manages to be adorable (if painful).

J isn't nearly so slick, he just rears back and snaps forward like a crazy person trying to hurt you. This also manages to be adorable. Babies ruin your critical faculties, I'm finding.

(also: your face)

bc of all the head trauma no doubt (and sleep deprivation)

OTM to all of it