ILX Parenting 5: I'm a big kid now

that is brilliant

ahahaa

ugh, the last few nights she wakes up over and over again shouting that she wants water. I come over, try to give her the water, and she refuses and puts her head back down. No idea what to do about this.

She's faking. She wants attention. IMO.

*bangs gavel*

Our daughter calls us in once a week with some intense, loud holler and I go running in and ask what's wrong. "I'm not cozy," she answers.

xp Almost definitely. The question is just what do we do (still sleeping in the same room for now as we live in a 1BR): (a) ignore completely (b) call out to her niceties (c) call out to her more firmly like "go to sleep" (d) go over to her crib every time

etc.

e) pour water on her head

^ may be why I am not a parent ;)

yeah this shit was actually massively annoying, it was the first time in my life I really felt the urge to just scream at my child in an angry and uncontrolled way (she was doing it about every 20 minutes thru 3am).

ignore bad behavior, reward good behavior

main principle of cbt ^

Hurting, if that's the first time you've felt that way then you're doing REALLY well.

A think I do try to remember at those times is that they don't just have the urge to manipulate you for no reason, they do actually want and need things. Sometimes (often) those wants are unreasonable. But tonight, for example, I realized that it was too hot in the room and turned up the A/C, and so far she's sleeping now.

reports from the field: if you want to make 10 pregnant ladies all look really unhappy all at once, take them on the tour of their birthing center, and then inform them that there are only 11 delivery rooms, so if they are delivering in july or august (which dug thats why they are on the tour) they will likely be diverted to a totally unfamiliar alternate hospital.

also tried out one of the sleeping chairs for partners they have in the room. hilarious! and no room for an air mattress. but hey they have a dvd player and wifi. in most rooms. maybe.

Our hospital had special "private rooms" that were something ridiculous like $800 a night, which led to a lot of agonizing. Without the private room (1) you're sharing, obviously, and (2) I couldn't stay the night. Plus they had some other amenities like better food and whatever but I didn't really give a shit about that. So they kind of made me feel like I was deserting my wife and newborn for not wanting to spend $800 a night extra. But we didn't spend it, and it ultimately didn't matter all that much.

you're sharing a room while giving birth??

haha no sorry, I mean the recovery room

or whatever you call that, the room you're in after you give birth

prime manhattan real estate

post-partum?

oh i see! Jeez in the hospital my wife gave birth in she recovered in a room that held maybe... 20 beds? Separated by curtains. It was like M*A*S*H. Can you imagine the audio sitch? Despite all that there was something kind of cool about it. Everyone was having the same crazy experience all at the same time. There were enough maternal vibes in there to fill the Rose Bowl.

yeah we at least only shared a room with one other person. Mildly annoying when her huge family came to visit but otherwise not so bad.

all the post partum rooms here are private, but yknow, we wont actually get to go there so hopefully the overflow quonset hut will have running water maybe

we had a shared room but no one else was in it until about 2 hours before we were to check out. the woman they moved in had some nausea problems and spent the whole time we were trying to leave throwing up. this made my wife (who was doing well) sick herself and suddenly it turned into a mad dash to get out of there before we were all sick from hearing/smelling the barf.

australian hospitals are 90% wards with a whole mess of beds separated by curtains. That's govt healthcare for you. I love american hospitals. Its like a hotel but better because you get to watch tv and nap all day while snuggling with your new babbie and oxycodone is merely a button push away from being hand delivered to you. phenomenal.

When I moved from the US to Canada, I had an interview at the big hospital in town and it reminded me of a Dickens novel.

Swear to God, the first thing they ask you in American hospitals when you come out of out-patient surgery is what kind of soda you'd like.

i have verified that there is a coffee machine in the postpartum area so all is good.

they offered my wife a coke right after she gave birth (like 2 minutes later). she's not really a soda drinker but she was all YEEESSSSSSSS! i love her.

australian hospitals are 90% wards with a whole mess of beds separated by curtains

Not in maternity wards, at least not in Adelaide. We had a private room for the birth, with lots of comfy furniture, and when my wife was recovering from her emergency C-section, she had a single room to herself for 5 days. Other mums who were in for shorter times were 2 to a room. But this was all in the public health system.

Not but, I mean "and", arrgh

And then the very day I boast about that, they announce they're cutting nurses, midwives and beds in Adelaide's maternity hospital. As you were.

ouch http://parentsonphones.tumblr.com/

man fuck that tumblr, you can take time for yourself once in a while and let your kid entertain themselves and still be a good parent. i'm not saying there aren't times when i should probably put down my phone (or book or whatever) and give my kid attention but a secretly snapped photo (which is pretty creepy on its own) shows nowhere near the full story. i wonder if the person who runs it is a parent.

maybe they're using their phone to find the nearest playground. or communicate plans with the other parent. etc etc.

it's probably parents sharing their own pictures

otm, even tho i have eschewed getting a smartphone for concerns of being sucked in (and occasionally catch myself or am caught on my laptop at inopportune times). nevertheless, unless they got full on 5 minute vids of parents gone wired while junior gets sucked into a wind turbine, i aint judging

http://parentsonphones.tumblr.com/

this is extremely fucking obnoxious

the tumblr I mean

I almost want to send an angry message, but I feel like that would just feed the person's need for superiority.

nerves have been struck

I noticed it doesn't actually have that many posts, and I found an article on slate from a while back about it, in which the author criticized the tumblr and most parents agreed. I'm sure there are plenty of overdistracted parents using their phones to avoid their families, but honestly your kids do not need (or want!) your attention every second, and not every single second in the same room with them is going to be some magical moment that you can't miss.

Like K is only 16 months and there are already so many times when I'm like "Hi sweetie!" and I pick her up and hug her and she's just like "Down. Down." and then scurries off to dismantle her toy train or whatever.

id be pretty worried if my kids when into a deep depression every time I wasn't completely focused on them.

it's a satirical tumblr not National Geographic

what is it a satire of exactly?

plus to be fair we get ignored a whole lot ourselves

http://img407.imageshack.us/img407/1134/0iqj.jpg

Fucked up parents not giving their kids a phone. They're going to grow up tech-illiterate. My daughter plays on her panda apps every day. And my son sure knows how to craft mines.

what is it a satire of exactly?

― i don't even have an internet (Hurting 2), Tuesday, July 2, 2013 9:59 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

iphones and parenting? I dunno. Did everyone shit and go "hipsters don't look like puppies!" a few years ago?

I'm a dad with an iphone and my reaction was not even close to being as visceral as what I've seen here. Maybe the site's not that funny, but good lord the reaction.