Kids say the darndest things

Me and H riding the elevator up to the B's floor.

ME: So you have spaghetti for lunch today?

H: Uh-huh!

ME: I didn't even know that –

H: [sings] Uh-OH, Spa-ghetti ... Etti ... ETTI.

________________________

There's no way I would have posted that anywhere but here.

him:
"do you want donuts for breakfast, or chocolate?"

me:
"we don't eat chocolate for breakfast!"

him:
"i'm just giving you options."

haha every weekend morning around 9am for the past 12 months or so Beatrice and I have engaged in this exchange:

Beats: 'Mama, what can I have for breakfast dessert?'
Me: 'Beatrice, there is no such thing as breakfast dessert'
Beats: 'Oh yes there is!'
Me: 'You had Fruit Loops for breakfast!'
Beats: 'So what can I have for breakfast dessert?'

are you curtailing your account right before *breaks down crying because there is no breakfast dessert* or is that just in my house?

evie is going through a thing of calling stuff she likes "cute" or even "soo soooo cute." but yesterday she was in a bad mood and she didn't want me to watch tv and she said "this baseball game is NOT very CUTE."

also yesterday we took her on the train to go to the park and she said "daddy, look, a nail" and held up someone's clipped finger/toenail

Lol I know adults who call things "not cute," I've been enjoying that expression lately! Evie's on a good path.

Lulu clearly has a bright future ahead of her.

it's funny watching my daughter learn to try to lie, she's just so bad at it. have to remind myself to pretend to believe her, that way she'll never get better at it.

We developed a "trick" of saying "thank you" while taking something out of K's hand. K, now 15 months, learns quickly, and has started to say "thank you" while attempting to grab something from one of us.

"there is no such thing as breakfast dessert" is a great sentence

Abby [with a large toy stuck around her arms and torso]: Holy CRAP? Holy CRAP?
Me [freeing her]: Did you just say "holy crap"?
Abby: yeah.
Me: Don't say that dear, that's not a nice thing to say.
Abby: Oh my GOD? Oh my GOD? Oh my GOD? Oh my GOD?

She's back to saying "holy crap", quietly under her breath now, and playing with a figure of Human Torch.

Hahaha love it!

A week or so ago our 3 y/o, Henry, burst into prayer before we had lunch with a surprising degree of enthusiasm. The prayer was in no way imparted from me or PP.

Where do you think he got it?

My primary suspect is his daycare as it is associated with a Methodist church.

Same 3 y/o mocked me for the first time ever last night. He was super hungry before bed but I insisted it was "Too late for Hot dogs!". Not longer after I took him upstairs to put him to bed he spent a good two minutes bouncing on his bed and saying in the most mocking tone ever while imitating my voice. "ooooooo its too late for hot dogs! No hot dogs now. Its just tooo late!" etc etc. Our kids are such smartasses.

Nice!

When I sing Wheels on the Bus to K now, each verse she will call out the thing that is on the bus. Things that ride our bus include:

Chair
Bottle
Water
Cheese
Red (the color)
Hole

It's very difficult to figure out what some of these things *do* on a bus, especially when put on the spot

lool

can you get away with, like 'the cheese on the bus goes cheese cheese cheese?' or would you get side-eye

'Red" !!

Yeah, she'll accept pretty much any action from these inanimate objects, concepts, etc.

"the red on the bus whispers 'kill kill kill'"

hahah

Many of these things also shake an egg in the "Shake Your Egg" song, as well as "egg" himself, and any person we have ever met.

We were in a rush this morning so I told Evie we were going to break the world record for the fastest bath. After I bathed her and took her out, she wandered around looking confused and asked me "where's the smashed record?" She thought I meant a vinyl record.

hahaha aw

BUT YOU SAID

That reminds me of Ramona Quimby and sit here for the present.

White and yellow were on the bus this morning. Actually, it was the hebrew word for yellow, "Tsahov". "Tsahov on the bus?" I asked..."Yellow" she clarified.

I thought 'Sit here for the present' was from Cider With Rosie by Laurie Lee. That was 1959, but the some of the Ramona Quimby books were published around then too, so don't know who had the idea first.

K: Mama, utatte dame! ("Mama, don't sing!")
P: Koyu-chan! That's not nice. Mama is a good singer, she can sing. Are you the boss?
K: Bass?
P: Boss. Is Koyuki the boss?
K: Noooooooo.
P: Is Papa the boss?
K: Mama bass.
P: Right. Mama is the boss.
K: Mama bass. School bus, school bus.

haha cute

"sometimes when mom's in a bad mood, you just have to walk away"

4 years old, people

Kids are kids, they're like the stupid guys we see on chatroulettes (www.bazoocam.org)

so true

This morning K heard H say "hey sexy" to me when I walked into the room and started enthusiastically shouting "SEXY! SEXY!" -- kinda lol, kinda disturbing

"sometimes when mom's in a bad mood, you just have to walk away"

4 years old, people

― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Thursday, July 4, 2013 4:13 PM (4 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

AMAZING

i posted this on fb so sorry if you already saw it but evie's new thing is when she's really angry she yells COCK A DOODLE DOO

Oh man, that's precious.

My wife apparently was singing "On Top Of Spaghetti" to my son in the car and he starting apparently moaning at the end "my poor poor meatball, my poor meatball". To add injury to the whole thing a short time later our dog actually did eat his meatball (which to be fair to her, he put on the floor) which caused a complete breakdown and him to throw himself on the ground kicking and screaming and cursing her.

Not sure why I wrote apparently twice as though I do not believe this story hah.

Toddler: Bat-man cock!
Me: !
Me: ...
Me: oh, Bat-man CLOCK. CL-OCK.
Toddler: Cock.
Me: Clock. Batman clock.
Toddler: Cock, cock, cock.

ha, yeah

that reminds me of

"Do you hear that? Mommy is vaccuming. Vaccum. Mommy is vaccuuming"

"Mommy fuckyou"

"sometimes when mom's in a bad mood, you just have to walk away"

Preach it, kiddo.

xp for a while my son was seemingly convinced that fox was a plural so he kept talking about needing to get his "fock". Also kept referring to a bear as an "abutt" which with the "fock" resulted in a couple of exchanges I would have found mildly embarrassing had they occurred in public.

http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5541/9308135654_a093a79dcb_z.jpg

Those cursed tiny letters.

<3

Aw. Does she need glasses, maybe?