ILX Parenting 3: Back In (Potty) Training

Haha, I know! Only this morning we were remarking on the strange irony of babies starting out looking like Winston Churchill, but growing to resemble (in Alice's case anyway) Hitler.

We didn't have a stairgate for child no.2 - we got so blase about child no.2! And she has the worst 'safety sense'. Twice I've had to save her from drowning.

Aww, these babies are all growing up!

I had a horrible migraine attack last night (nauseousness and near vomiting incl) so I couldn't get up as much as previous nights. She fell back asleep. Didn't put her off so it seems: during the day she was chipper as ever. I guess I'll have to let her cry a little bit. She has to learn to fall asleep on her own.

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3061/2336715701_d86198a84e.jpg

Everyone is sick again. Even though Ophelia is taking Bactrim (for impending urine checkup), she has a slight fever and seems to have bronchitis like my husband. ARGH! When will it STOOOOOOP! :-)

David, when did you do the 45 min crying it out experience?

i never noticed how blue alice's eyes are. like a blue crystal or something. beautiful.

nath, didnt liesje have much darker hair?

i have this horrible feeling we completely messed the sleep thing up with beeps without realizing it.

she has slept through the night since she was 5 wks but heres the thing i realized: we rock her to sleep EVERY NIGHT. Do we need to cut this out? Is it going to cause problems later on. Ive only seen her fall asleep in the crib a few times.

Megan is six months old and I still have to rock her to sleep. She just gets crazy if I try putting her in her crib to fall asleep on her own, and I'm too much of a wimp to let her cry it out for any extended period of time.

stevie - I think we did it around 6-7 months, but that time is a total blur. We did it a bit early out of necessity, though - twins require extreme measures. I think if we only had one kid, we would have waited a few more months. And it's not like they ALWAYS sleep through the night. Teething wakes them up from time to time, and now-and-then they will just wake themselves up (bad dream?). BTW, that is one cute picture - what a sweet little Tintin 'do!

More pictures (loving the new camera...)

Owen, right before doing a face-plant onto the grass (dig the mischievous face):
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2404/2339348612_4bb33795bd.jpg

Ben:
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3271/2339323542_39d7c80220.jpg

Owen:
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2345/2339321700_6ac7da211d.jpg

beautiful blue peepers on alice and liesje! but I wouldn't like to meet grumpy alice in a dark alley behind a fruit stand, she looks like she's gonna bean somebody with that pear and she doesn't mean to miss, ha.

crying it out never worked for ava and she hasn't slept a whole night through in months and months, but lulu is so different. she has her wake-up-shouty moments occasionally but soothes herself back to sleep. she doesn't cry, though, it's more like a few protest shouts that turn into chatting and giggling and then she sacks out again. if it was crying the way ava does I'd crack in a heartbeat and we'd be shopping for a kingsize bed to accommodate the whole fam.

ben and owen are looking like full-on boys now, so cute!

lulu was having a bad time with her teeth a couple of weeks ago and could only fall asleep if I rocked her - good god the tiny brick house that she is nearly put my back out. but it's so wonderful when they fall asleep on your neck, I love that. I'm sure I've said before that I'm very much in the whatever-it-takes camp when it comes to getting the babes (and as a result yourself) some good shuteye - give me lovely rocking and co-sleeping any day of the week over hours of crazy yelling. I'm pretty sure I'm in the minority on that front, I know a midwife or 10 who would so not agree. I can't see it causing major trouble down the line though if we ever went out, I suspect we'd arrive home to find ava and the babysitter sitting on the sofa with a bowl of popcorn watching the midnight movie.

Sunny: if she sleeps through the night then I don't see why rocking to sleep is a problem. I wouldn't feel under pressure to change it if it works for you all (and it sounds like it does!). As she gets older then you can introduce new routines at a rate you are all comfortable with. For toddlers I believe a 'gradual withdrawal' method is often recommended, where you start by feeding/rocking/cuddling to sleep, then over a few days for each step gradually reduce the amount of contact then move further away from the cot and out of the room. I think there's more info about it in this which is my favourite book about sleep.

Well, it's all debatable, really. They advise against it because this way Beeps will only fall asleep with you rocking her, instead of being able to fall asleep on her own. But hey do YOU know anyone who's daddy/mommy still rocks him/her to sleep when s/he's 34? Guess not. All these rules and studies and whatnot, I don't give a shit anymore. Well, I do, but I also try to think:"What the hell, I'm gonna do what I feel most comfortable with." (Easier said than done, I know!) The most helpful thing for me was swaddling Liesje. Didn't seem to work for Ophelia but then she slept through (seven to seven) from four months! Now I realize how blessed I was! I knew then as well but didn't realize how much until I had to wake up EVERY FRIGGING HOUR for Elisabeth. Now I let her cry for a maximum of ten minutes. It works: she wimpers a bit and then falls back to sleep after about eight minutes or less.
But one day you will have to let Beeps fall asleep on her own. I think in time she'll manage on her own and if not, you'll have to CIO (cry it out). Don't worry, I don't think she'll have a trauma because of it. ;-) What I mean is: do what you feel is right. What makes you feel best. Rock her to sleep? Well, fuck all the books and do it! :-)

That said, I do still fret a lot. I worry an insane amount whether I give Ophelia enough attention. How she pushes me away and goes to daddy. :-) But I have to realize that, well, she's in her terrible twos, I love her to bits and she can do what she wants. Well, within bounderies. ;-)

Oh yeah, I'm probably enrolling her in tennis class. Kim Clijsters II here she comes! ;-)

Playing with the 300 Lightroom presets...here are our little Spartans:

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2263/2349469183_fe59474702.jpg

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3106/2349815776_f224c56ac8.jpg

"Come home with your split single, or on it."

We recently discovered a great tool for getting our 7-year old hooked on reading: The Junie B. Jones book series. She can't get enough of it. She reads it all the time; with us, on her own, before she goes to sleep, when she wakes up. She was already reading independently, but it seemed like a chore. Now she's inspired to read, and we're thrilled.

I will file that junie b jones suggestion away for a bit later, it's great to find stuff they go bananas for, isn't it? it's all dr seuss and moomins and my uncle is a hunkle round here at the moment but I'm going to start buying lemony snicket and nancy drew any old day now to stash away for later.

ava and lulu had their first sleepover last night at their pal luke's house. luke's mum offered to keep them overnight so mike and I could go out to the same gig together. we go out separately now and again while the other one stays home to wrangle but this was our first night out with each other in three years, wahoo! ava had a blast and slept the whole night through, which she never does in her own bed, and we had a great night. we've really got to try harder on the babysitter front, you don't realise you miss going out until you do it again!

We're having a babysitter over three nights this week. A new record! This calls for more pictures!

Ben plays harmonica for our friend Angela:
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2052/2374609307_fb40ee6897.jpg

Ben reads to me:
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2064/2375437424_cbe96575cf.jpg

And here's a video of Ben counting backward from ten (with some help from Owen and his mom)!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=iYvNyghecMQ

OK, that's a lot of Ben... Next time around it'll be Owen's turn.

Big book and scraped knee!

We just got back from taking our 7-year old daughter to her first opera, a dress rehersal of the Florida Grand Opera's performance of La Boheme. She slept thru the last act (just as well; Mimi dies), but before that she was totally into it, taking everything in, staying (basically) quiet during the show (dress rehersals = way more relaxed), asking the right questions at intermission, following the plot. I'm always a ''proud parent''-type, but tonight even moreso.

Howie is obsessed with books at the moment. He demands to be read to over and over again (thrusting the book towards whoever is nearest, with an insistent "Ah! Ah! Ah!").

Having a babysitter is great. Sadly we don't really know anyone nearby who can do it so whenever my parents come to stay, we make a run for the pub.

thrusting the book towards whoever is nearest, with an insistent "Ah! Ah! Ah!"

I am often awoken with "BOOOOOOOK!" then the corner of a hardback hitting my temple. Current favourites are "Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?" and "Little Tiger: I Don't Want To Go To Bed!"

beeps isnt really interested in books. she has some favorites but i think she likes them because things pop up or tunes play. when i try to read to her she tries to flip to the next page like yeah yeah yeah what's next??

midwives or obgyn?

obgyn

obgyn and a doula?

oh god whats a doula?

do i want to know (considering having a kid hasnt reduced the gross out factor of birth for me at all)

midwives! If there are no complicating factors and a hospital to transfer to nearby in the unlikely event of an emergency

A doula is someone who will give you support and speak up for you in childbirth, for a fee

oh. i cant even imagine whats going on over in the UK to need someone like that.

i <3 my obgyn

SS, it's somewhat different. A doula will help you even after delivery.

A doula is an experienced, non-medical assistant who provides physical, emotional and informed choice support in prenatal care, during childbirth and during the postpartum period. (wikipedia)

I didn't have one but I would def recommend it. :-)

I stopped swaddling and by god it seems Elisabeth has gotten the hang of sleeping. Crossing my fingers. I'm sure I jinxed it now I posted it. ;-)

Ophelia is however sick again. A nasty cough. :-(

Next time (if there is one!) I am going to have a doula. Midwives are great but there just aren't enough of them at UK hospitals, you don't get any continuity of care.

I don't really know what an obgyn is!

meg, it's an obstetrician - gynaecologist.

I see, I don't think we really have them over here. You see a midwife through your pregnancy then have the choice to give birth at home, in a midwife-led unit or a consultant-led ward. I really like the idea of a home birth but only if they invent an epidural you can have in your living room ;-)

haha. yeah.

are midwives ever men?

yes, ss, i know of one. but it's a rarity. :-)

is it my imagination, or did everyone stop posting pictures after that "do you want to have kids" thread?

Here's a few of Owen:

Owen with his first Thomas toy (he is already addicted to Thomas):
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2369/2410617598_00f6291757.jpg

Owen reading to his mommy:
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2411/2410608720_dc736ce8db.jpg

Owen, close-up:
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2033/2393934990_207de2a605.jpg

here's a pic of abby that really sums up her personality these days, equal parts adorable and mischievous:

http://www.appelstein.com/daddyabby.jpg

it's as if you can see her thinking, "what can i get into next?"

re crying it out: we didn't really do it for either one. c and i have used many elements of of attachment parenting for both kids, which includes co-sleeping. i know that there are some that warn that co-sleeping makes the kids needy and dependent, but we haven't seen that with either one. if anything, it took the edge off of moving them into separate rooms. take abby: as an infant, she cried and cried for hours at bedtime. the moment we moved her into her own room (about 11-12 months old), the crying stopped almost completely. she's got a wicked independent streak anyway.

I posted this already on the cellpwn thread:

http://www.axcessmypics.com/photos/photo05/95/60/14e0e00e3c9e.jpg

Beeps backseat drivin'.

backseat telekinesisin'!

where is everyone? pick up the photo pace, people.
Here are some beeps at the zoo pics:

On the carousel:
http://img166.imageshack.us/img166/792/zoobeats1tp4.jpg
Chillin
http://img216.imageshack.us/img216/3606/zoobeats2mm8.jpg
Her best elephant impression:
http://img216.imageshack.us/img216/7357/zoobeats3rl8.jpg

Yay for Beeps!

No arty shots this time, but something a bit more representative of home life - which is, increasingly, Ava and Lulu playing together reasonably harmoniously. There are still tears and tantrums but also some unprovoked bouts of sharing and cooperation - Ava is fiercely protective of little sis and gets wobbly-lip upset when I tell Lulu off... "Don't talk to my sister like THAT!"

You can guess what happened next here:
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2235/2410584208_c2d0aa379f.jpg

Story time:
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3282/2442046416_9322ab0d7d.jpg

Ava is fiercely protective of little sis and gets wobbly-lip upset when I tell Lulu off... "Don't talk to my sister like THAT!"

That is unbelievably sweet.

I cant believe how much Lulu has grown up! It seems like she was a teeny tiny thing in leopard print a few weeks ago.

The boys are probably getting sick, just in time for T and I to head out to "Higher Wiscombe" in the UK for a wedding. Mom-in-law is coming to take care of them for a whole week! I can't imagine how much they are going to change by the time we get back. And I can't imagine what an awesome break it will be to take a week off from them ;)

These days, the boys are pretty fun. They already know all the letters and numbers 1-10, which is pretty impressive for 17 months. Owen has an unhealthy Thomas habit, and Ben is working on his sense of humor. He makes all these funny-sounding voices to see if he can crack us up (it works).

Owen delivering an "R"
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2235/2438176040_057f85f776.jpg

"Hello? Hello?"
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2326/2437371667_e20e473a1c.jpg

Ben mackin' on his sheep blankie
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3226/2443647429_25bd968991.jpg

OK, David, way to destroy my "aweness" of my own daughter cause she can count. ;-)

Ophelia really likes her sister! She loves to share toys (!!!!!), say her sister smiles,... She sometimes feeds her. Well, shove a spoon in her mouth. hah.

I'm addicted to breastfeeding, I fear. I did start solid food a little earlier than planend, but on the whole I'm still BFing about four times a day.

Liesje is waking up early. Five am most mornings. *sigh* :-)

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2107/2422578813_b5153a3e1f.jpg

Hoodie in training:

http://lh3.ggpht.com/ColveyClan/SBto1nQ1wfI/AAAAAAAAGiw/t0BmCneIAqQ/s144/CIMG0319.JPG

Oh yeah I thght her third tooth was coming out... but then I noticed it was on the side of her gum. Like a pearl. The doctor (on the phone) said it wasn't a tooth but some pearl and I needn't worry. Urgh. Anyone else experience this?

Oops, bit bigger:

http://lh3.ggpht.com/ColveyClan/SBto1nQ1wfI/AAAAAAAAGiw/t0BmCneIAqQ/s400/CIMG0319.JPG