ILX Parenting 5: I'm a big kid now

hey this kid is three now!
https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/426756_4504776497997_1773463446_n.jpg
crazy. preschool is going ok so far, she is generally pretty excited about it.

The backpack looks anxious, tho'.

I can't believe she's so big. Man, if I think your kids are all growing up fast it must be nuts for you guys.

it feels much, much slower

lol

haw

"it feels much, much slower"

When does this happen? First nearly two years have flown by for me.

for me it's slowed down now that we've gotten to the "why?" stage. a five minute car ride can seem like an eternity.

Veronica's variation of the "why?" stage is "what would Superman say/do if..."

I have no one but myself to blame, I suppose

haha.
you should get this bumper sticker
http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRiu41TDm877P1j0ga8MrKIRiGyG99K5kpmgaF4CKPt_gnccvmLmA&t=1

So I (and my wife?!?!) have suddenly started getting emails about au pair services (from the same service)? How did they get our email addresses? It's very creepy.

baby's first day of montessori today! she seemed fine when we left her -- i'm all emotional tho!

Veronica's variation of the "why?" stage is "what would Superman say/do if..."

― chicago rap twitter luminary (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, August 29, 2012 5:02 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

evie does this:
evie: "what are you doing?"
me: "[explanation of what i'm doing]"
evie: "what are you doing?"
me: "[reworded explanation of what i'm doing]"
evie: "what are you doing?"

haha! sylvie has this annoying thing where if you say "oops!" for whatever reason she comes running in and is like "WHAT DID YOU DO!!!!? WHAT DID YOU DOOOOOOO!?"

Cute! Abby's still not talking a lot, but this past weekend really started saying "Owwwwwww" whenever she hurt herself.

Hello ILP. My child is a neurotic adult now, so this is all I got to offer:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=339oBGDPWPg

K now

- is very good at picking up and holding things
- eats solid foods (mostly pureed, but also the occasional bagel to gnaw on)
- doesn't exactly crawl, but rolls like a gymnast and can kind of scooch backwards
- kind of almost sits
- makes a wide variety of sounds including "ba" "da" "ma" "juh" "rrr" and "chhhh" (she's a jew, what can I say)
- has the cutest laugh ever

Top 5 phrases said by Hambone:

5. "Sorry!" - said after he falls or trips.
4. "My turn!"/"Bea's turn!"
3. "Watch out!"
2. Something that sounds like "It's Saturday?" but that's definitely not what it means.
1. "What ARE you dooing?"

Beeps has a new friend with a long Indian name. Each time she says it, she offers some back-up explanation of it. You can tell she's a bit fascinated by someone who's name isn't "Beeps".

"Yesterday, I went out to recess and played on the swings with my friend Pushpanlatidood….. [pause] Yes, I'm aware her name is really long."

"I had such a good day! I made paper cutouts and Pushpanlatidood gave one that looked like a kitten!… [pause] Yes, the first part of her name sounds like 'Poo'."

lol

We have this new thing where when one of us leaves the house we try to make sure K watches the person go out the door and say goodbye -- something that apparently helps deal with separation anxiety (I guess the idea being that they gradually come to conceptualize you leaving and coming back instead of the fear that at random moments you will suddenly not be there).

Anyway, this morning I asked H to face K (now 7 months) toward the door as I left for work, and I said "Bye K" and waved, and for the first time I've ever seen - she extended her little hand toward me. It was so cute and heartbreaking. Still can't get over it.

dunno if any of you parents out there have encountered this, but there seems to be this cute lil period after kids discover the apparent connection between "bye-bye" and the person you said that to actually leaving, going away. and once they've gotten over the fact that saying bye to mom or dad in the morning isn't the end of the world, their fiendish branes figure they can actually ~make things go away~ by saying goodbye. or at least it seemed that way when a kid I saw in the hospital eventually started saying "bye bye" as soon me and my attending (or anyone with a stethoscope) walked in to check on his ears (kids hate ear exams). He always seemed a little desperate and confused, saying it over and over, all "why isnt this working? I ~said~ bye bye, why are you still here??"

my bffs son used to emulate bus windshield wipers with his forearms to do that. wipe em away.

Recently August has woken up instantly crying, and not just a wiper but a real I'm scared the whole is ending crying.And I can't stress how instantly upon waking she starts crying, without anything provoking her. We've been unsure what causes this, but I've been staying awake after they have fallen asleep and I hear August making noises while sleeping that to me sound similar to noises people make while dreaming. Could August wake up crying from a nightmare? Are Infants already dreaming at 5 months? Why would she have nightmares as oppose to nice happy dreams? Has anyone had this experience?

It may be teething related. (The waking up crying, not the dreaming.)

K has done it for the last few weeks or so (6-7 months). We think it may partly be teething, but the onset really came when we moved, and to a one-bedroom at that. We kind of got into the habit of picking her up again but we're thinking we may have to stop, because it seems to just get worse and worse the more often we pick her up.

It IS scary, but I think it's just something that happens. Keren has also developed occasional random screaming fits while awake, which has been disconcerting, but seems to perhaps be a separation anxiety issue. And we think the sleep could be related to that too.

"Why would she have nightmares as oppose to nice happy dreams?"

Probably because it's terrifying being a baby.

Big fan of the "pick up/put down" method advocated by the ghastly-named Baby Whisperer over here

link?

there's this - http://www.babywhispererforums.com/index.php?PHPSESSID=45d29643a3a23789b9ff4af0767bd016&board=31.0

which looks.... insane, i have not read it. but i have read the book and don't have a use for large chunks of it, which has been my experience w/most baby books, but the pick up/put down thing has really worked with P (though he was never to fussy to begin with, which i'm sure helps)

in some ways it's the opposite of cry-it-out. in a nutshell you pick them up when they cry, murmur comforting things to them, and the minute they calm down and stop crying you put them back down in the bed. you don't rock back and forth, you don't pat them on the back, you just hold them gently until they settle down and put them down within a minute of them calming down. if they struggle against you, arching their back, it means they want to be put down and go to sleep! so put them down. see what happens. you might have to pick them back up again. it can take a little bit of time doing this to suss out what's working, what a good rhythm is, what they need. the key thing is that they're crying cause they're tired and want to sleep and they're frustrated that for whatever reason they're not sleeping. so your comforting voice and touch helps that. the goal is that after a couple of nights doing this you don't need to pick up any more, you can just put a hand on them - not patting, just there - and talk gently and that'll do the trick. and after a couple of nights of that, your voice alone will work. and after a couple of nights of that they learn to chill the fuck out. of course we all know things never work out that ideally in practice..

yeah I've become very aware of the "crying because she's trying to sleep and can't" thing -- in fact comforting methods that are too disruptive (talking, patting, singing) make the crying worse. In most cases it's either (1) leave her alone and she'll fall asleep after a few minutes tops (sometimes within seconds) or (2) crying gets louder and louder at which point the only thing that helps is taking her into the bed and/or giving her to mom.

Pick up/put down is an interesting idea. I think part of the difficulty of these "methods" is that there is so much variation among babies and even within an individual baby over time with change.

yeah imo WHICH method you use is much less important than HAVING one, even if it's one you made up. i really believe that kids can sense the lack of a plan.

"Dad, you just don't understand feelings."

my twelve year old is suddenly twelve!

awwww

relatedly, I am suddenly in constant danger of "embarrassing" or "humiliating" her in public (her words)

I'd be sad if I didn't remember those feelings myself

"I know you don't know this, but I do act more polite around other people." - the five-year-old.

haha

yeah, my younger kids are still happy with me being a boor in public

Omg Beeps

i also think sometimes w sleeping there is no "solution" and you just have to get through it, and whatever method you're using is more to convince yourself that something's "being done"

K got complimented on her rolling ability today by parents of an 8-month-old. I've always been proud of her rolling (it's very graceful and fluid, and she can easily go either direction, can do successive rolls, and uses her arms well), but I figured that was just me being a dad so it was nice to get objective confirmation.

Kids are 8 and 5 now. Heading to Disney World this weekend, as promised years ago. Everyone is psyched, but my kids are so not Disney indoctrinated, beyond the princesses, that I don't think they even know who all the major characters are, like Minnie, Goofy and Pluto.

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/roiphe/2012/10/kids_and_porn_you_found_your_13_year_old_s_porn_stash_what_should_you_do_.html

In the end, kids probably learn most of what they know about everyday relationships by watching their parents. And in most cases, they do probably do catch on that adult life is not some triple-X fantasy of bubble-breasted girl-on-girl pornography. The intelligent 13-year-old is smarter than we think and maybe doesn’t need that note from his sweet father.

probably, in most cases, probably, maybe

She's a terrible writer.

She is! I was just thinking that the other day about some other article she wrote, like "why does this person even get to be a PROFESSIONAL WRITER whose name I know?"

(rhetorical question)

She's basically ridden the Morning After for like 20 years, right?

Yeah seems that way, and I also assume it's partly about having the right mom, going to all the right schools, etc.

I have no idea who her family is, but the Morning After (or it least my vague impression of it from twenty years ago) is complete nonsense.

hitting some serious terrible two action these days, had an epic battle about raisins this morning. there doesn't seem to be much to do once she gets into serious tantrum mode other than just ride it out, eventually she calms down but it was seriously like 45 minutes of just crying and screaming and laying on the floor this morning.

also it's crazy to see her vacillate between wanting to be a "big girl" and wanting to be babied, often from second to second. she'll demand to sit in a real chair at the table to eat instead of sitting in the high chair, then a minute later want to sit in my lap with me feeding her. it must be crazy to be two years old.