ILX Parenting 5: I'm a big kid now

They do "maths" at school not "math".

they have more than one? that sucks.

USA! USA! USA!

They do maths and play sport.

USA! USA! USA!

hahaha they only do one sport? i bet its that soccer sport where they kick the ball and cry impotently and tie at the end.

nah on this one we're the dumbasses, since it's "mathematics", plural

for once, Britishes

Learning what I can and cannot do. The new Wes Anderson film, record hunting, walking down South Congress and browsing for vintage Native American jewelry are out. What is now, "in": hanging with friends at their homes, take-out, feeling incomplete when not with August. She has been a great baby these past six weeks.

Seems the first month was processing but six weeks later I'm so in love with her. I have gone to the store twice without her and just don't like it, return home as fast as I can. It's been fun playing my favorite songs for her, singing and dancing to make her smile...introducing her to my best friends. Tomorrow she meets my mom and grandparents for the first time.

Yeah that's definitely a thing. You *may* find that in another month or two she's a little easier to take into a store or a cafe. One thing we found that worked well was to go to very casual places at odd hours, like a thai restaurant at 4pm when no one's in there to be annoyed.

2nd on the way and is about 6 inches, the same size as a Subway sandwich. That's how my wife thinks about it, at least.

Gratz Calstars and Ms. Calstars!

I want our little girl to watch the same shows I did...Villa Alegre...

Bad news, I'm afraid: Only two or three eps still survive; the rest were wiped.

(I watched this too and enjoyed it.)

Congrats Calstars!

tera we found one of the best places to get beats to sleep was in a noisy diner. Some of the most chill times we had with our first infant.

K did this new thing with me this weekend where, when we were with the inlaws, she started only wanting to be held by me and not by the in-laws, and she would be looking at me even when my father-in-law was doing his damnedest to get her attention. I was totally flattered and proud and in love and felt kind of bad for my in-laws at the same time even though I was slightly enjoying my pushy, competitive father-in-law having to play second banana.

in my experience that's one of the most sublime things about being a parent - how completely you + your child belong to one another

It's a card you never want to see played - your kid scared or intimidated - but I fondly remember the first moments when my two kids sought me for solace.

With Beeps, the grandparents were bearing down on our storm door and not sure what was going on, just turned and latched on to me. My first thought was "wow, since when did become a source of security?" quickly followed by "oh yeah, I'm her parent. guess I'm supposed to be."

Hammer did it the first time with me while I was sitting by myself in the bedroom with a book. He silently breezed into the room with his little arms wide open, jumped in my lap, and snuzzled my neck. I was pleasantly surprised by his show of love and even more surprised when Beeps showed up ten seconds later wearing a giant monkey mask and looking for her little brother.

It's also a hard thing imo. E.g. a lot of work days I only get to see her in the morning before work and then she's asleep when I come home. So it makes me sort of sad to imagine how she experiences that kind of apparent coming-and-going, although maybe she doesn't experience it at all yet.

From what I remember, she would be devastated if we left the room/house/whatever.

Whereas if she was taken to another, that would be fine.

e.g. dropping kids off at nursery, or having someone babysit.

xp

I've been on vacation for the last week and a half, so I've been able to spend all day with my little girl, who I usually only see for the two hours between getting home in the evening and bedtime. It's been a real treat. I don't want to go back to work next week. We've been together like this a few times when the entire family was sick*, and that was cool because we'd just stay in bed all day and watch Sprout, but this past week has all been afternoons in the park and other really happy times. I can't believe that next week we're going to go back to being apart again most of the time.

*Those of you with very young kids who haven't yet experienced the entire household being laid low by unusual viruses - good luck!

And just as you say that, bam, viral eye infection. She's miserable and there's nothing much we can do. Hate the feeling.

Oh fuck dude. I'm sorry. Be strong and persevere. So sorry about your little one. Hopefully it's the kind of thing that will pass pretty quickly? Most of ours have been excruciating to sit through, but are ultimately over in a few days.

Like ATM she just woke up again and is crying, but picking her up doesn't really help, putting her in the bed with us doesn't really help, etc.

My mother just met August on Sunday evening and is just in love with her. However, she says it is good to let babies cry, August cries when hungry and goes from zero to hyperventilating when I am not around per J. So when my mother suggested she babysit so we could both go hang with another couple this weekend I just had to say no. I keep imagining August in dire hysterics and my mother letting her go too long before even thinking of calling us thinking she is helping her lungs develop.

Has anyone heard of this lungs developing thing or that it is harmful to prop a baby up too young or the bowlegged thing?

Augie will need to get used to the idea that you won't be in the room sometimes though, right? Maybe being gone for a whole evening is too long but maybe your mom could help by looking after her for say, 20 minutes, or half an hour?

However, she says it is good to let babies cry,

This is what my own mother was told. By the time we had ours, she was open-minded enough to know this was untrue.

The over-riding rule is: Whatever gets you through the night, is alright. (blimey, John Lennon knew!)

In 6 months, kid will not be wanting to be picked up / put into bed etc.

I would refer you to my story above regarding a 'real bed', etc. but only for interest, not saying 'do this'..

Yeah there's no evidence of the "good for their lungs" thing. However, I think Dr. Sears is also a bit misleading and unreasonable on crying, because he kind of makes it sound like crying always corresponds to a specific, meetable need and as long as you respond, there won't be much crying. That's not true with K around bedtime (we tried everything), and she's generally a pretty calm baby. Or at least, her "need" is to sleep, and she has trouble doing it, and we can't always make it happen.

"it is harmful to prop a baby up too young"

I've not heard that it's harmful, but I think the idea is that you kid will learn to prop themselves up faster if you aren't doing it for them.

The crying thing is tricky, because crying is not "good", but it's also not always "bad" either (and as your child gets old they'll cry for different reasons a lot of which you can't or probably don't necessarily want to help).

I would go out btw, even if your mom let's her cry for two whole hours (which is pretty unlikely since your mom is not a monster and babies aren't that persistent) it's not going to cause some crazy long term trauma or anything. See your friends, relax, and when you come back you'll still have a needy baby.

write your mom a ten page guide to taking care of babby. it'll make you feel better when you go out and everyone can get a good laugh about it afterward

As the baby gets older you also may see more self-awareness about crying, and you'll also notice and become sensitive to different kinds of cries. One thing I find amazing is that K has a specific cry, almost a word, for "I want milk" that she does when she's first hungry (or sometimes just when she wants the comfort of mom and isn't hungry), and it sounds almost like "lait". OTOH there are some cries I haven't figured out. I attribute most of them to "I'm tired but can't fall asleep" and hope I am right.

well we're getting into the toddler zone for sure - seeing a lot more sudden tantrums (usually related to being tired or hungry or not wanting to wear a diaper but also just occasional random tantrums). objectively i know it's normal - evie's also dealing with changes, like finally being bottle-weaned and going to day care - but it's hard not to worry about it too, like we're doing something wrong. yesterday was the first time i took her to day care and she cried when i tried to leave - i think the novelty has worn off and she's realized it's something that's going to be happening regularly. also she wants to eat all the time, which we're trying to figure out what to do about - don't want her to be hungry but she really does want to eat constantly it seems like. i think this is related to the bottle-weaning - she was used to getting bottles of whole milk through the day, now she's missing those calories. hopefully we'll get her on a more regular eating schedule.

Raising my sweet Lil' Bee, I'd see pictures on the Internet of shit smeared on the walls and wonder Who in the hell would have kids that do this?

No shit on the walls yet, but my dear son is now in the habit of stripping off his diaper and running around naked with a mud butt. Boys are awful.

haha, yikes!

yeah we're at the point where tantrums seem to be the default mode of expression for sylvie. she can just turn it on! just need to be patient with it, i guess, try not to get too frustrated. difficult though!

we've avoided any massive diaper issues so far but she has reached in her diaper and grabbed shit out a couple of times

it is funny how fast the tantrums come and go. she was pissed this morning because i made her wear a diaper and she ran in her room and was screaming and crying and then it got quiet and she came out wearing her little backpack and smiling

The other morning K woke up in her co-sleeper, stared straight up at me with the sweetest eyes and then pooped extremely loudly.

Dalton's also started the tantrums which is also coinciding with my wife weaning him from the boob so he's got plenty more to be frustrated about. We've got a vacation to Portland coming up and I'm actually kinda concerned how it's going to work since it'll be the first where he's not going to be able breast feed on demand at night... I'll probably be putting him down but we cosleep on vacations so if he wakes in the night it may get awkward.

Hammer's biggest tantrums come when we tell him that the pantry isn't his personal tree house.

even though having a potty-trained kid brings its own weird baggage (like having to visit very single restaurant/park/attraction restroom multiple times each visit), i am SO GLAD to be done with diapers.

August has this shirt, it's a soft all cotton long shirt that buttons and Tera and I both think it's her favorite shirt. She always goes straight to sleep in it and sleeps well with it on. Is it possible that a 7 week old baby can prefer a certain shirt over others?

If it's softer or texturally different, I think it's totally possible. I doubt it's for aesthetic reasons though, although who knows.

Happy Pappy Day to all Dads!

J. shaved his beard just about off last night and had been worried about August recognizing him ever since. Honestly, it didn't seem to phase her.

well not forming memories prob helps

They have facial recognition per National Geographic the Science of babies :) just watched that today.

Yeah but I think babies recognize their parents by other means too. OTOH when I was 3-4 and my dad briefly shaved his beard it totally freaked me out.

i think its episodic memory that develops later but I did LOL

Madolin Lucille Smith was born at 326pm yesterday, weighing 7lbs, 7oz, and 21 inches long. Despite a difficult delivery, including an emergency c-section, mom and little girl are both healthy. She is absolutely perfect.

congratz!

yayyyyyyyyy

mazel tov!

She is absolutely perfect

:-)

congratulations ..

congratulations!!!!!!

congrats! and beautiful name!

awww congrats!!