erica, you also might need to account for a couple of years of 'trying'. you might hit it first time but you might not, you know? also, after the first, you might want more!
I know!! This is my big concern. If someone told me that it would happen right away in a year and a half or so and that I'd have my first at 33 then I'd have 0 issues waiting. It's the chance that it could take a while that makes me wonder if it's not something we should go for as soon as it's financially possible.
― Too Into Dancing to Argue (ENBB), Friday, 16 January 2009 16:44 (fifteen years ago) link
of course euler is the guy who recorded his child's screams and put them to dance music and then posted it on the internet so caveat procreator
― Edward III, Friday, 16 January 2009 16:45 (fifteen years ago) link
exactly, and this morning was a brutal reminder of how that went, as my littlest one screamed for 20 minutes and then vomited all over me. I maintained a detached cool throughout but fuck, what we put ourselves through.
― Euler, Friday, 16 January 2009 17:05 (fifteen years ago) link
I saw that movie it was called the exorcist
― Edward III, Friday, 16 January 2009 17:07 (fifteen years ago) link
tell me about it
― Euler, Friday, 16 January 2009 17:10 (fifteen years ago) link
What did you guys do to get ready once you decided to bring a baby on board, aside from saving up mula?
― KitCat, Friday, 16 January 2009 21:40 (fifteen years ago) link
Took off my socks...
― •--• --- --- •--• (Pleasant Plains), Friday, 16 January 2009 21:42 (fifteen years ago) link
saving up money is ideal but some people use that as an indefinite stalling tactic. most important is to decide if you're ready and then the practical matters sort themselves out more or less as you learn to prioritize (assuming you're not starting from the depths of poverty)
― Sug's jest bang (velko), Friday, 16 January 2009 21:47 (fifteen years ago) link
― KitCat, Friday, January 16, 2009 3:40 PM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark
omg are you guys having a baby
― i like to fart and i am crazy (gbx), Friday, 16 January 2009 21:51 (fifteen years ago) link
Not yet!
― KitCat, Friday, 16 January 2009 21:53 (fifteen years ago) link
wouldn't it be sad if i found out we were having a baby on ILX?
― congratulations (n/a), Friday, 16 January 2009 21:55 (fifteen years ago) link
btw we are having a baby!
― K!tCat (gbx), Friday, 16 January 2009 21:56 (fifteen years ago) link
lol
― Too Into Dancing to Argue (ENBB), Friday, 16 January 2009 21:57 (fifteen years ago) link
one thing is to really examine your healthcare coverage/job benefits so you know exactly what you're in for re: bills & time off
― Sug's jest bang (velko), Friday, 16 January 2009 21:58 (fifteen years ago) link
!
― congratulations (n/a), Friday, 16 January 2009 22:01 (fifteen years ago) link
my s.o. finally wore me down - isn't this every guy's answer?
― Tracer Hand, Friday, 16 January 2009 22:29 (fifteen years ago) link
Vicky - that's my other fear that when we finally try it'll take a really long time and as I'm already 31 time won't exactly be on our sides. Man, this stuff is complicated.
Oh man. At first in a relationship you're looking to AVOID pregnancy at all costs, then if you've decided to GO for it then it can't happen quick enough. We tried for a year. The month we would go for hormone shots - they had told us chances were slim - I was pregnant with Ophelia. Second time I was pregnant the same month I quit the pill.
When are you ready? Never really. It's good you can't imagine what a frigging change a child brings cause I think lots of parents would baulk at having kids then. :-) But then you'd also miss out on the great stuff. Life is never ever the same.
I always loved kids but having kids of your own is completely different.
I suspect mula is lots of sex cause that's what we did. hahahahahahahahaha. Apart from that going to the OBGYN, rubbing my tummy and buying lots of babystuff.
― Nathalie (stevienixed), Saturday, 17 January 2009 12:06 (fifteen years ago) link
mula is money, but yeah it could be what you said....
― Mark G, Tuesday, 20 January 2009 08:10 (fifteen years ago) link
we had long ago decided to have at least one kid "when we're ready", then last year I realized that if we waited for that...
― Oh Why, Sports Coat? (Dr. Superman), Tuesday, 20 January 2009 18:33 (fifteen years ago) link
^^exactly
― tacos, fettucini, linguini, martini, bikini. (sunny successor), Tuesday, 20 January 2009 19:16 (fifteen years ago) link
i was so anti-kids before we had beeps. like i used to see pregnant women on the street and snicker "sucker!". my biggest motivating factor to get pregnant was that time was running out and i might regret it later if i didn't. pretty shitty reason to have a kid but now i cant even remember what life was like without her.
This is basically us.
― Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Friday, 30 October 2015 15:42 (eight years ago) link
I feel like I could come up with a lot of signs of being "not ready" but there is no sign of "ready" other than I guess absence of major red flags? Not ready would be stuff like unemployed with tendency to get fired, drug addiction, complete unwillingness to change lifestyle in any way, tens of thousands of dollars in credit card debt with no realistic plan to pay it off, etc.
Financial readiness for kids (beyond having a job and not being on the verge of bankruptcy) is highly subjective and probably heavily influenced by class expectations.
Mental/emotional/spiritual "readiness" is likely to be developed after you have the kid and as you reshape your life and expectations according to necessity.
― on entre O.K. on sort K.O. (man alive), Friday, 30 October 2015 16:22 (eight years ago) link
my uncle told me "it's never a 'good time' to have a kid" and I think he's right
― frogbs, Friday, 30 October 2015 16:30 (eight years ago) link