ILX Parenting 5: I'm a big kid now

oh my god you can't spoil a newborn wtf is wrong with ppl??

Well you don't care any less for your child if you don't cry when they cry, as long as you're taking care of whatever it is they're crying about.

Mordy and PP both otm.

people have (dumb) opinions about parenting

even people who are parents most likely only have the experience of parenting one to three children, which is a pretty small sample size. the most experienced have parented like maybe 12 kids? still a pretty small sample size. basically no one knows anything.

one thing that August seems to love and helps he to sleep is putting a warm diaper on her, like straight from the dryer, she gets this big eyes expression, smiles and little and then her eyes just slowly close and then she's out.

― JacobSanders, Wednesday, May 16, 2012 11:30 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

This is genius^^^^

all the current evidence indicates that skin-to-skin for the first 48 hours is good for milk production and good for bonding and good for baby's health so i don't know wtf business a NURSE had telling you otherwise

like with more children you care less??

....yep

or rather, you don't really have time to "care" as much, if by caring you mean spending most of your time engaging with them, empathizing with each passing gastrointestinal event, etc

Just curious but at what point can we expect August will start having solid poop? Also do all baby's stretch so much and grunt?? August really seems to love stretching, big stretches followed by big grunts. You would think she had such a hard time napping, since she wakes up and goes through these series of stretches.

Solid food = solid(ish) poop

Henry grunted until about 2

Now he hisses.

true

it's baby D's b-day today! she is now one year old!

happy birthday!

awww Happy Birthday, D!

Aw! Happy 1!

re: the breastfeeding thing

I will just say that the youtube clip I watched a couple years ago of British woman who was breastfeeding her nine year old was way creepy. "It tastes wonderful! Better than mangoes!" he said. ew.

like with more children you care less??

statistically speaking, yes. you only have so much time and attention you can give. 1 kid gets it all. 2 kids get half each etc

Wouldn't common sense tell you that if your baby can talk, you are past the point when you should've stopped beast feeding? Beside the fact that it's weird for a mother son relationship, I can imagine a son would have problems with women later on?

i don't see what one thing has to do with the other tbh

re: the breastfeeding thing

I will just say that the youtube clip I watched a couple years ago of British woman who was breastfeeding her nine year old was way creepy. "It tastes wonderful! Better than mangoes!" he said. ew.

― Roger Barfing (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, May 17, 2012 3:31 PM (17 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Pretty sure I've seen the same one. If anyone wants to look it up just search breast feeding my 8 year old.

I think one has a lot to do with another.

On breastfeeding, I'm really of the mind that if the child is capable of holding a fishing pole, he should be kicked off the teat.

a lot of cultures breastfeed until 2-3 ie: long after baby has begun to talk. i think 3 is maybe a little late, but 2 years and beyond is recommended by WHO.

my wife breastfed up til about 1 1/2 years, and then it became very obvious that the kid was not as dependent/interested in the whole process and pretty much gave up on it. a lot of people we know had the same experience.

had an ultrasound and we saw the heartbeat!!!

also, took the day off from work and I'm eating twizzlers on the couch
*knows how to live now*

awwwwww, :D

I honestly don't understand why people freak out so much about extended breastfeeding through toddler age say 2-3. It just doesn't seem that strange to me. I have also heard of a lot of kids who self-wean before then. People get amped about weird stuff.

The first ultrasound was magical for me!!

I really don't know how I feel about beast feeding past toddler years.

because basically people are very very defensive about anything parenting-related because (say it with me) no one knows what they're doing and they're worried they're doing something wrong (not excluding myself)

weaning can be hard for the mom too. timing has to be primarily about when the kid is ready but the mom has to be ready too.

sarah just weaned evie about a month ago, so at about 21 months, but she had gradually reduced the number of nursings over a period of a few months before that. evie was totally ready for it, by the end she was only nursing for a couple of minutes and then getting distracted.

x-post - Yeah, idk. I think we can probably all agree that the BFing 8 year old is pretty strange any way you look at it. Err, right? A while back some lady was arrested for breastfeeding her 13 year old son.

x-post and she was also eating reg food too, not just breast milk? I think some people assume that breast fed toddlers aren't eating solid foods or something.

oh no i don't think a toddler could be full enough from just nursing

I have no idea what I'm doing and I'm worried I might do something wrong, which is why I mostly use a gut sense about what August wants or needs and most importantly asking Tera how she feels about something and what she thinks. If Tera wants to continue feeding until 2 or 3 then I'll completely support her.

she was eating meals, snacks, drinking bottles of milk, and nursing, so the nursing was mainly for comfort/closeness by the end there

Yeah. That's what I have thought. I just always wonder if people realize that when they get all up in arms about breastfeeding beyond, say, a couple months and talk about how "strange" it is.

because basically people are very very defensive about anything parenting-related because (say it with me) no one knows what they're doing and they're worried they're doing something wrong (not excluding myself)

i feel like the solution to this tho is live and let live, and try really hard to not be judgmental. especially if it is something that doesn't seem abusive or cruel but just weird in your eyes.

i agree that that is the goal (though not a goal that is always easy to achieve)

oh yeah - afaik almost no one exclusively breastfeeds after six months? babies gotta eat solids yo.

beast feeding!!!!!
yeah i think it's just something that you take as it comes, you don't have to have a deep theory about it. just do what you and the kid are comfortable with.
i get a little weirded out when i see kids over the age of 3 breastfeeding, but it's not my business really! i don't think it's a like a BIG DEAL THAT NEEDS TO BE DISCUSSED BY EVERYONE IN TIME MAGAZINE.

I was surfing some sites and I came across some cool vegetable kids snacks/meals.. thought I'd throw it up here! Thought the broccoli "cookie" is kind of cool. http://www.thekitchn.com/veggies-for-toddlers-171233
/no babies, just pangs for them. someday!

cool, yeah, it is good to find decent snack-y things for kids.
my wife has a few good recipes up here: http://www.two-tarts.com/search/label/toddlers

i'll just say that if there was one thing that was surprisingly difficult for us about having a newborn, it was breastfeeding. sarah did a TON of research and so was very prepared but all the literature basically implies that breastfeeding is super-easy and natural, and we had a really hard time getting evie to latch right, had to hire a lactation consultant because she wasn't gaining weight fast enough, eventually had to supplement with formula for her entire infancy. we felt like crap about it because she wasn't getting 100% breast milk and so wasn't going to be a genius who was immune from all diseases, but it turned it not to be that big of a deal and she is a genius and has only gotten sick a few times so whatever

xp Awesome! And thanks to that link I now see I have been doing hummus all wrong - I always drop everything on top of the chickpeas then blend. NExt time I'll blend the tahini first!

we also had a really rough time with nursing in the beginning and got a lactation consultant and lots of tears and worrying but char persevered and really we were lucky that we never had to supplement with formula. i partially blame stigmas around nursing. most of us have never seen a baby latch + nurse and have no idea what it is supposed to look at. you really need models for this biological stuff, which having a consultant can only partially alleviate. and obv not everyone can do it and i don't ever mean to stigmatize anyone who choses or is unable to nurse exclusively in the beginning.

we felt like crap about it because she wasn't getting 100% breast milk and so wasn't going to be a genius who was immune from all diseases, but it turned it not to be that big of a deal and she is a genius and has only gotten sick a few times so whatever

While I think it's great that there is sort of a renewed interest in breast feeding (wasn't actually a thing or even encouraged around the time I was born) I HATE that it can wind up making women who have trouble and need to supplement with formula (or use only formula or choose to use only formula for whatever reason they gd please) feel guilty for doing so. That is so counterproductive and I think it happens quite a lot these days.

xxp cool! i don't know what any of that means! but i'll tell my wife it helped.
and yeah, we know some people who felt super-guilty about not being successful w/ breastfeeding. and obviously there are emotions tied up in it -- but whatever, i firmly believe that it doesn't make *that* much of a diff. my mom breastfed me for about 3 months and then gave up. and look at me! i'm a person!

I wasn't breastfed at all and I'm fucking awesome.

breastfeeding is the ideal for the baby but isn't always possible. there has got to be a way of emphasizing its importance without demeaning ppl who are unable to do it. i can't help but feel like trying to deemphasize it so that ppl don't feel bad is the wrong way to go...