ILX Parenting 5: I'm a big kid now

lol that Time Mag cover story. i've probably had a dozen conversations with other parents about it over the last week or so. consensus is that it's ridiculous.

"Is this insanely hot 26-year-old mom going TOO FAR?"

i think ppl generally feel like live + let live. if you want to nurse your kid until he's three that's your prerogative but no one is a bad parent for not doing that.

Hay there fellow parents, here's something to not look forward to -- I got home from running errands a while ago and the local PD had pulled my daughter over in front of our house.

I wish that were true xp, but I hear a lot of people, both parents and non-parents, making pretty judgmental claims both ways (attachment parents are "preventing their children from becoming independent," non-attachment parents are "abusing" and "neglecting" their children, etc.)

people have opinions about parenting, this is why I never talk about parenting except on here

i'll give wmc another hour before I start hounding him for details.

hahaha, typing it up now.

Decided not to write it all up in detail. Short version: expired car tag. But when the cop called the license plate in, they said the tag payment was up to date, so he said "no prob, on your way with you then."

Ten minutes after we got in the house, she sheepishly comes into my office with the car tag sticker I had given her a year ago and told her to put on her license plate. I said "did you get the shit scared out of you?" "Yeah..." "Good deal."

Tera and I have discovered people have very strong opinions about parenting and even strangers aren't afraid to tell you what they think. Like in the hospital Tera had august sleeping on her chest, skin to skin(we feel it's very important esp at the stage) and almost a few nurses told her, you can do that all the time, you're going to spoil her, on nurse said you shouldn't be doing that at all. In the clinic, one nurse saw how we handled August and how we cried when she was crying and the nurse kept saying "oh you guys are first time parents" like with more children you care less?? And I don't even want to start with what my own family has told us. But we are learning to just listen to what people say and smile and go on with what we are doing. We love August so much and it's been the best few weeks of our life since she was born, we call it our babymoon.

oh my god you can't spoil a newborn wtf is wrong with ppl??

Well you don't care any less for your child if you don't cry when they cry, as long as you're taking care of whatever it is they're crying about.

Mordy and PP both otm.

people have (dumb) opinions about parenting

even people who are parents most likely only have the experience of parenting one to three children, which is a pretty small sample size. the most experienced have parented like maybe 12 kids? still a pretty small sample size. basically no one knows anything.

one thing that August seems to love and helps he to sleep is putting a warm diaper on her, like straight from the dryer, she gets this big eyes expression, smiles and little and then her eyes just slowly close and then she's out.

― JacobSanders, Wednesday, May 16, 2012 11:30 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

This is genius^^^^

all the current evidence indicates that skin-to-skin for the first 48 hours is good for milk production and good for bonding and good for baby's health so i don't know wtf business a NURSE had telling you otherwise

like with more children you care less??

....yep

or rather, you don't really have time to "care" as much, if by caring you mean spending most of your time engaging with them, empathizing with each passing gastrointestinal event, etc

Just curious but at what point can we expect August will start having solid poop? Also do all baby's stretch so much and grunt?? August really seems to love stretching, big stretches followed by big grunts. You would think she had such a hard time napping, since she wakes up and goes through these series of stretches.

Solid food = solid(ish) poop

Henry grunted until about 2

Now he hisses.

true

it's baby D's b-day today! she is now one year old!

happy birthday!

awww Happy Birthday, D!

Aw! Happy 1!

re: the breastfeeding thing

I will just say that the youtube clip I watched a couple years ago of British woman who was breastfeeding her nine year old was way creepy. "It tastes wonderful! Better than mangoes!" he said. ew.

like with more children you care less??

statistically speaking, yes. you only have so much time and attention you can give. 1 kid gets it all. 2 kids get half each etc

Wouldn't common sense tell you that if your baby can talk, you are past the point when you should've stopped beast feeding? Beside the fact that it's weird for a mother son relationship, I can imagine a son would have problems with women later on?

i don't see what one thing has to do with the other tbh

re: the breastfeeding thing

I will just say that the youtube clip I watched a couple years ago of British woman who was breastfeeding her nine year old was way creepy. "It tastes wonderful! Better than mangoes!" he said. ew.

― Roger Barfing (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, May 17, 2012 3:31 PM (17 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Pretty sure I've seen the same one. If anyone wants to look it up just search breast feeding my 8 year old.

I think one has a lot to do with another.

On breastfeeding, I'm really of the mind that if the child is capable of holding a fishing pole, he should be kicked off the teat.

a lot of cultures breastfeed until 2-3 ie: long after baby has begun to talk. i think 3 is maybe a little late, but 2 years and beyond is recommended by WHO.

my wife breastfed up til about 1 1/2 years, and then it became very obvious that the kid was not as dependent/interested in the whole process and pretty much gave up on it. a lot of people we know had the same experience.

had an ultrasound and we saw the heartbeat!!!

also, took the day off from work and I'm eating twizzlers on the couch
*knows how to live now*

awwwwww, :D

I honestly don't understand why people freak out so much about extended breastfeeding through toddler age say 2-3. It just doesn't seem that strange to me. I have also heard of a lot of kids who self-wean before then. People get amped about weird stuff.

The first ultrasound was magical for me!!

I really don't know how I feel about beast feeding past toddler years.

because basically people are very very defensive about anything parenting-related because (say it with me) no one knows what they're doing and they're worried they're doing something wrong (not excluding myself)

weaning can be hard for the mom too. timing has to be primarily about when the kid is ready but the mom has to be ready too.

sarah just weaned evie about a month ago, so at about 21 months, but she had gradually reduced the number of nursings over a period of a few months before that. evie was totally ready for it, by the end she was only nursing for a couple of minutes and then getting distracted.

x-post - Yeah, idk. I think we can probably all agree that the BFing 8 year old is pretty strange any way you look at it. Err, right? A while back some lady was arrested for breastfeeding her 13 year old son.

x-post and she was also eating reg food too, not just breast milk? I think some people assume that breast fed toddlers aren't eating solid foods or something.

oh no i don't think a toddler could be full enough from just nursing

I have no idea what I'm doing and I'm worried I might do something wrong, which is why I mostly use a gut sense about what August wants or needs and most importantly asking Tera how she feels about something and what she thinks. If Tera wants to continue feeding until 2 or 3 then I'll completely support her.

she was eating meals, snacks, drinking bottles of milk, and nursing, so the nursing was mainly for comfort/closeness by the end there

Yeah. That's what I have thought. I just always wonder if people realize that when they get all up in arms about breastfeeding beyond, say, a couple months and talk about how "strange" it is.

because basically people are very very defensive about anything parenting-related because (say it with me) no one knows what they're doing and they're worried they're doing something wrong (not excluding myself)

i feel like the solution to this tho is live and let live, and try really hard to not be judgmental. especially if it is something that doesn't seem abusive or cruel but just weird in your eyes.

i agree that that is the goal (though not a goal that is always easy to achieve)

oh yeah - afaik almost no one exclusively breastfeeds after six months? babies gotta eat solids yo.