ILX Parenting 5: I'm a big kid now

People (e.g. me) turn to these boards in moments of desperation, and the last thing you need is confirmation of your worst fears.

(not talking about ILP, obv)

"specialty" messageboards always attract the most dramatic members of whatever particular topic.

Also see Apple boards, boards about Hondas, political boards and cooking boards.

K screamed for half an hour during mom's 'rest period' (we try to let mom sleep from 9ish to the next time K wakes up, at which point I give her a bottle, and then mom takes the next feeding after that). Nothing I tried worked. Turning to message boards, I became convinced I was emotionally scarring my child for life by letting her mom sleep a bit. Then later that night K threw up and ran mild fever we realized it was all probably a reaction to her vaccines.

Thank you, Vicky! Everyday we become more and more comfortable with the idea of a homebirth and more ready for it. The midwife told us today that she will be bringing along a 2nd midwife only because of the proximity to the nearest hospital. It is 30 or 40 minutes away.

Today we had an ultrasound and all was good and healthy so this evening there are no anxieties.

Hurting- awww poor K, hope she is feeling better. Hope you are too.

http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7127/6968508818_5de6d41848.jpg

congrats, I think!

we are now parents!

then congrats for sure!

Fantastic!

YEEEEEEAHH!

Our hospital had the exact same receiving blankets btw.

Congratulations! Cute bebeh!

nothing went as planned and it was sort of a nightmare. tera was in labor starting one am monday unitl wednesday morning, the baby didn't want to come out. tera was in the worst pain i have ever witnessed, it was scary. eventually we had to give in and go to the hospital. tera still labored and gave it everything she had but we had not slept or ate for twenty four hours at that point so we had to have a cesarean. but now in the end i am just happy that both tera and august are healthy and sound. the baby recognizes my voice from singing to her and she smiles at me. i think she looks like her mom.

I would say probably 4/5 couples I have talked to did not have things go as planned.

btw Keren latched on my arm the other day which was weird enough, but today she latched on my face

congratulations, jacob and tera! i'm glad you have a healthy baby and mama!

A child is born!

congratulations!

Congratulations! She's adorable.

Glad you guys ended up having to go to the hospital. I didn't want to say anything (because like, trying to respect other people's decisions about pregnancy/parenting) but you guys doing a home birth with the nearest hospital being 30-40 mins away was making me so nervous. Glad that everything has turned out fine in the end.

Excellent news! Glad you had the care you needed, Congratulations! Wishing you a speedy recovery Tera xx

Yeah, that's all well and good but what did you do with the placenta?!

Kidding, of course. What a moosh face - I love her! Congratulations to you both. She's so sweet.

this baby!! this excellent baby!!! congratulations!!!

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awwww so small!

hey cool baby

btw I really like her name. Did you give her a middle one?

Were we foolish to think we only needed ourselves to bring the baby into the world? I am grateful for the nurses and the most of the staff here at the hospital, but in ways it has been the dreadful experience we were trying to avoid. When Tera was pushing with two nurses helping along with our midwife, she was close to crowning. then the doctor came in the room, flirted with a new nurse, talked on the phone, never introduced himself to us. There were people coming in and out of the room. the doctor would not let tera sh in the position she was most comfortable. finally she was having problems because of the doctor, he just said yeah we are going to have a c section. I could see the exhaustion and fear in Teras face and knew we had to, that Tera wasn't going to be able to continue. when the baby was pulled out she let out the worst cry I have heard. they were cleaning her very roughly and she ket crying, when they brought her to me and i held her, I sang 'The Way We Were' which is what i have sung to her for months now and she stopped crying. then they took her to the nursery where I had to stand outside the glass. she cried the whole time. now that it is over and we have bonded with or baby I'm no longer sad about being here. Tera tried her best and we did experience natural birth, and I see now how very little is within our control.

Were we foolish to think we only needed ourselves to bring the baby into the world? No but as a lot of people have said repeatedly itt - it's one of the most unpredictable things and best to keep in mind that things often don't go according to plan. Most of all I think it's important not to beat yourself up over what you had planned v. how it all panned out because, hey, you have a gorgeous brand new daughter and isn't that all that matters?

then the doctor came in the room, flirted with a new nurse, talked on the phone, never introduced himself to us. There were people coming in and out of the room. the doctor would not let tera sh in the position she was most comfortable. finally she was having problems because of the doctor, he just said yeah we are going to have a c section

Yeah, this is infuriating and you have every right to be angry. If I were you I'd just focus on that little bebe for now and try not to get too worked up about that (as hard as that might be) because you can't change that now and you have a healthy baby and wife which is really the most important outcome.

anna maria august is her full name but i call her august

beautiful!

congrats! too bad things did not go according to plan, but, yes, the important thing is that you've got that healthy baby! welcome to the wild world of parenting.

too bad things did not go according to plan

And welcome to the next 20 years of your life.

HA!! I guess i need to get that

lol yes.

Sunny and I attended our first parent-teacher conference yesterday. Standing outside of the classroom in the empty hallway, there was a bulletin board with drawings of fruit and vegetables made by the students. Out of the 20 or so tacked up there, I immediately recognized Beeps'. Hers was the only one where an attempt had been made to color every square inch of the paper.

ss and I stood there and looked at the results of Beeps' creative mind, noting how many blue markers she had probably used dry and how with a corner still left white, she was probably upset at the time that she didn't get to finish. It was still just a brief moment, my wife and I standing there in an elementary school hallway, nine years after meeting on a Silver Jews Bulletin Board, and looking at what this little person had done.

When we complimented her last night on her drawing, first thing she said was "Yeah, but I didn't get to finish it."

^ that whole post is amazing

yeah pplains you really pulled on my heartstrings there

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The best advice I can give you for the next few weeks or so is just focus on making the baby and yourselves as comfortable as possible. And order lots of delivery or have people bring you food or whatever. Don't be ashamed to buy ready/frozen meals at the supermarket. Do what works for you and the baby and don't worry too much about following the prescriptions of any one baby expert too closely. I think I've already said on the thread how we found that to strictly follow attachment parenting with K didn't seem to suit her, because, for example, she would sometimes just squirm a lot in the carriers (this was after the first few weeks, really) and also seemed very happy to have time on her back in her crib looking at her mobile, but at the same time, focusing too much on developing "good sleep habits" and the like seems to have been kind of moot this early on because she needs a lot of comfort at night and won't go to sleep otherwise.

And don't be afraid to expressly limit the times and durations of family and friend visits or even to deny them.

Also, be prepared that you're going to see a lot of changes in her development even within the first few weeks, and that after the first few weeks you're going to find that stuff that "worked" may suddenly not "work." This isn't because you did anything wrong, they just tend to change as they get more aware.

It was still just a brief moment, my wife and I standing there in an elementary school hallway, nine years after meeting on a Silver Jews Bulletin Board, and looking at what this little person had done.

This in particular strikes me as strangely profound.

Well, yes.

eyelashes!

thanks Hurting, really

pplains, that makes me want to go home to the girls immediately.

I think it might have inspired an immaculate conception in my ovaries!

well done!

yeah things never go according to plan

congratulations, she is beautiful.

congratulations (n/a)

i cant believe i didnt see this . CONGRATULATIONS!! She really is remarkably beautiful <3