ILX Parenting 5: I'm a big kid now

Dalton! That was my Great-Uncle's name.. I've always adored it :)

It's also the name of the guy who knocked up Cady in The Sound and the Fury!

K is 96th percentile height and weight. 13lbs 7 oz and 24 inches at 2 months.

That's a ginormous baby.

Yup. My back has already told me as much.

so big change, we have to have a home birth due to new texas regulations put into action yesterday on all birth centers. we have not been planning for this at all, so all new birth plan was created tonight. massive cleaning underway and now dealing with my mother since we are having in the guest house. it's going to be ok though, i can deal with this.

weird that this happened the day on our due date.

Anyone have any tips or advice for a comfy and cozy home birth? Just such a sudden and abrupt change and have to totally refocus my way of thinking.

Should our baby decide to enter the world after April 30th we can deliver at the center if we want. But the center is closed until then.

wow! what and indeed the fuck!

home birth is better anyway imo.

- several towels
- a plastic shower curtain can be handy to put down on the bed for the birth. seems a little weird but worth it.
- a partner willing to make cups of tea
- some relaxing music can be nice
- some people say a hot bath can be good for contraction pains (or as our midwife called them, "surges"

i mean, the whole thing IS a bit scary, but just remember this is the way people get born! it's cool!

we are still having a water birth if all goes as planned but oddly enough before we knew this, we bought a vinyl bed cover.

We almost had a home birth with #3, accidentally. I guess they're right when they say that subsequent children just kinda fall out when they're ready. We BARELY made it to the hospital; her water broke in the hospital lobby & #3's head was popping out by the time she sat (not even laying) on the delivery table.

WOW

yeah I'd been asleep & my wife was sitting with the doula in our living room just kinda waiting until things felt urgent & then they got reallly urgent really fast.

#s 1 & 2 were not like that; lonnnnnnng (though not horrible) labors in both cases

Blimey Tera and JS! What a weird situation!

We needed far less stuff for a HB than I expected. We had a pool, which meant there was little 'mess' (well, it was contained and went in the bin with the pool liner) and we didn't use that many towels. Nothing needed to be thrown out, we just bought some disposable maternity 'sheets' (might have to look at the incontinence section to find them) which saved the sofa once we got out of the pool and the bed afterwards. We had music on for the first part but when things got going and I was in the pool I wasn't fussed about music.

A's birth was late evening so I appreciated subdued lighting, M came in the middle of the day so wasn't an issue.

For both, until I woke up with contractions I had no perception of imminence of labour.

www.homebirth.org.uk is worth a look

So, I've come to the conclusion that people who write on parent message boards are scumbags. Specifically a certain kind of poster that writes hysterical responses to other people about how whatever they're doing is probably screwing up their child.

People (e.g. me) turn to these boards in moments of desperation, and the last thing you need is confirmation of your worst fears.

(not talking about ILP, obv)

"specialty" messageboards always attract the most dramatic members of whatever particular topic.

Also see Apple boards, boards about Hondas, political boards and cooking boards.

K screamed for half an hour during mom's 'rest period' (we try to let mom sleep from 9ish to the next time K wakes up, at which point I give her a bottle, and then mom takes the next feeding after that). Nothing I tried worked. Turning to message boards, I became convinced I was emotionally scarring my child for life by letting her mom sleep a bit. Then later that night K threw up and ran mild fever we realized it was all probably a reaction to her vaccines.

Thank you, Vicky! Everyday we become more and more comfortable with the idea of a homebirth and more ready for it. The midwife told us today that she will be bringing along a 2nd midwife only because of the proximity to the nearest hospital. It is 30 or 40 minutes away.

Today we had an ultrasound and all was good and healthy so this evening there are no anxieties.

Hurting- awww poor K, hope she is feeling better. Hope you are too.

http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7127/6968508818_5de6d41848.jpg

congrats, I think!

we are now parents!

then congrats for sure!

Fantastic!

YEEEEEEAHH!

Our hospital had the exact same receiving blankets btw.

Congratulations! Cute bebeh!

nothing went as planned and it was sort of a nightmare. tera was in labor starting one am monday unitl wednesday morning, the baby didn't want to come out. tera was in the worst pain i have ever witnessed, it was scary. eventually we had to give in and go to the hospital. tera still labored and gave it everything she had but we had not slept or ate for twenty four hours at that point so we had to have a cesarean. but now in the end i am just happy that both tera and august are healthy and sound. the baby recognizes my voice from singing to her and she smiles at me. i think she looks like her mom.

I would say probably 4/5 couples I have talked to did not have things go as planned.

btw Keren latched on my arm the other day which was weird enough, but today she latched on my face

congratulations, jacob and tera! i'm glad you have a healthy baby and mama!

A child is born!

congratulations!

Congratulations! She's adorable.

Glad you guys ended up having to go to the hospital. I didn't want to say anything (because like, trying to respect other people's decisions about pregnancy/parenting) but you guys doing a home birth with the nearest hospital being 30-40 mins away was making me so nervous. Glad that everything has turned out fine in the end.

Excellent news! Glad you had the care you needed, Congratulations! Wishing you a speedy recovery Tera xx

Yeah, that's all well and good but what did you do with the placenta?!

Kidding, of course. What a moosh face - I love her! Congratulations to you both. She's so sweet.

this baby!! this excellent baby!!! congratulations!!!

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8018/6968560520_187ff28f0d.jpg

awwww so small!

hey cool baby

btw I really like her name. Did you give her a middle one?

Were we foolish to think we only needed ourselves to bring the baby into the world? I am grateful for the nurses and the most of the staff here at the hospital, but in ways it has been the dreadful experience we were trying to avoid. When Tera was pushing with two nurses helping along with our midwife, she was close to crowning. then the doctor came in the room, flirted with a new nurse, talked on the phone, never introduced himself to us. There were people coming in and out of the room. the doctor would not let tera sh in the position she was most comfortable. finally she was having problems because of the doctor, he just said yeah we are going to have a c section. I could see the exhaustion and fear in Teras face and knew we had to, that Tera wasn't going to be able to continue. when the baby was pulled out she let out the worst cry I have heard. they were cleaning her very roughly and she ket crying, when they brought her to me and i held her, I sang 'The Way We Were' which is what i have sung to her for months now and she stopped crying. then they took her to the nursery where I had to stand outside the glass. she cried the whole time. now that it is over and we have bonded with or baby I'm no longer sad about being here. Tera tried her best and we did experience natural birth, and I see now how very little is within our control.

Were we foolish to think we only needed ourselves to bring the baby into the world? No but as a lot of people have said repeatedly itt - it's one of the most unpredictable things and best to keep in mind that things often don't go according to plan. Most of all I think it's important not to beat yourself up over what you had planned v. how it all panned out because, hey, you have a gorgeous brand new daughter and isn't that all that matters?

then the doctor came in the room, flirted with a new nurse, talked on the phone, never introduced himself to us. There were people coming in and out of the room. the doctor would not let tera sh in the position she was most comfortable. finally she was having problems because of the doctor, he just said yeah we are going to have a c section

Yeah, this is infuriating and you have every right to be angry. If I were you I'd just focus on that little bebe for now and try not to get too worked up about that (as hard as that might be) because you can't change that now and you have a healthy baby and wife which is really the most important outcome.

anna maria august is her full name but i call her august

beautiful!

congrats! too bad things did not go according to plan, but, yes, the important thing is that you've got that healthy baby! welcome to the wild world of parenting.

too bad things did not go according to plan

And welcome to the next 20 years of your life.