Kids say the darndest things

that's so cute

"daddy?"

"yes?"

"i don't like your shirt"

lol

We were all playing with their nanny Allison the other day.

Ben: "I love you, Allison."

Allison: "Awwww. Thanks Ben!"

Ben: "If you leave, I make you die."

Walking past a schoolyard being mowed by a big green tractor.
"I love tractors! Tractors are my favourite colour!"
"Really? Your favourite colour is green?"
"No, my favourite colour is tractors!"

E (4 year old boy) runs into the room...

-- "Papa, it was gone and now it's back!"
-- "Mm. What was?"
-- "The moon. Yes!! [pumps fist] The moon likes me!"

This after the moon "followed" him on the drive home from the peace festival.

:D what a bunch of darlings.

Earlier this summer:

--"Papa, I found a dead ladybug. It was outside on the ground."
--"Oh, that's too bad..."
--"I put him in this [hollow plastic] egg."
--"What for?"
--"He's gonna stay there for a lo-o-o-o-ong time".

Riding home from daycare, staying in the flow of traffic, etc.

BEEPS: You know, none of us are talking to each other right now. It's been very quiet.
ME: … …. … Well. Yeah. How about you tell me about something you learned today during –
BEEPS: SSSSSSHHHHHHHH!!!!

last weekend

two year old nephew: tio, here, come here.
me (crossing room): okay, what is it?
two year old nephew: this is my butt

* moons me *

me: uhh ...

new year old nephew: (running out of the room to my sister) hahaha i show tio my butt!

LOL

Nephew is awesome.

lol @ beeps too

My neph: Auntie Lolo, pull me (across the pool) to the ladder!
Halfway there: I'm being a TRAILER!

---

5 mins later:

Neph: Now make me go like a boat!
Me: How do boats go??
Neph: FORWARD. (Duh.)

Two-and-a-half y.o. daughter at a controlled crosswalk: Now it says "WALK!" Now it says "HIGH FIVE!"

Ava is making a post-bedtime habit recently of calling down to me because she's "scared". Sometimes it's ghosts, sometimes it's faces she can see in the cardboard castle at the end of her bed...the other night it was because she was worrying about "pneumonia" and "Venus fly-traps"...

Then she had a rant the other day about needles (it must be three years since she had a jab)... "I HATE needles and I think all dentists should be DRAGGED OFF TO JAIL and all hospitals BURNED TO THE GROUND." "What about all the sick people, Ava?" "Well, I would make myself the health inspector and... (thinks) Oh no, that's hygiene in cafes..."

Showed the girls Star Wars for the first time yesterday.

Ava, sometime later: "I don't think Obi-Wan sacrificed himself, Daddy. I think he just wasn't paying attention."

Later, waiting for a bus:
"Maybe all the buses have been disqualified from running, like Bolt."
That's practically Radio 4 material!

ahahaha

Older daughter in the middle of the night when my wife was out of town: "Daddy, I can't sleep and I ... WHO IS THAT BEHIND YOU!!!"

Jesus. What was the darnedest thing that your wife said in response?

She was ... out of town. My daughter pulled that one on me! It was the middle of the night, though, so I just said "no one's there, go back to sleep."

And then I looked behind me.

Ben: This song is terrible.

Friend: It's called."Super Trouper."

Ben: It's super terrible.

<3 shows great promise

http://www.flickr.com/photos/princessparkle/6179715201/

Veronica tells an important story about Bowie and Mars

"just dance"

*melts*

L performs some new physical feat as an avoidance tactic, looks up at me with wide eyes:

"THAT was impressive!"

I HATE needles and I think all dentists should be DRAGGED OFF TO JAIL and all hospitals BURNED TO THE GROUND."

Man!!

It's all that Dahl and Snicket swimming around in her head.

"L stop banging your fork on the table"

"I'm sorry daddy. I'm just crazy"

LOL

Me: I love you, baby...

Ben: We're not babies!

Owen: No Ben, he meant "behbeh..."

Ava, sometime later: "I don't think Obi-Wan sacrificed himself, Daddy. I think he just wasn't paying attention."

This is f*cking hilarious!

"being a mom means you're old!"

^^^real talk

Had a hilarious conversation with Owen while he as on the can last night:

Owen: When I'm 7, you're going to be 41.
Me: That's right!
Owen: What?! How did I know that?

Owen: When I'm 8, you'll be 42. And when I'm 9, you'll be 43!
Me: Yep!
Owen: I didn't think I was smart, but I AM smart!

Owen (looking at a Lego catalog): This star wars ship is cool! I think it's even cooler than you to me.
Me: I'm pretty cool...
Owen: You're smart-cool.

"as" = "was"

lol

"mommy, I don't like Prada"

I'm starting to question Veronica's taste level...

on the other hand, the cheese-counter guy at Rainbow says she has a "refined palette"

Owen: Can R2D2 fly?
Me: No.
Owen: Does he have a jetpack so he can fly?
Me: No.
Owen: Well, he needs to get one.

One kid to another at school:

"Are you going because you want to go, or are you going because your brain is half as big as it should be?"

UNION PACIFIC TRAIN: "HHHhhhhhhUUUUUrrrrRRRWWwwww"
HENRY: "What."
UNION PACIFIC TRAIN: "HHHhhhhhhUUUUUrrrrRRRWWwwww"
HENRY: "What."

i'm sure i've seen r2d2 flying. episode 2.

Ben: I'm not obsessed with robots anymore.
Me: No? What are you obsessed with now?
Ben: Blue. I'm super-obsessed with that.

Owen, after I gave him a big piece of celery with peanut butter: That's what I'm talking about, Daddy!

On a crowded bus, I surrender my seat to a cute little girl, about 4yo, and her mom. Mom thanks me and I catch the kid's eye and say "Hi!" Kid just looks at me and her mom says, "Say hello!" With obvious trepidation, kid says "Hi…" then stage whispers to her mother accusingly, "I'm not supposed to talk to strangers!"

a few weeks ago my husband told some neighbourhood children that our dog's full name is professor harry brown and he saw them again yesterday and they ran over and patted harry and said, isn't your dog a doctor or something? while harry beamed at them moronically.

lol

:)

evie was sitting on the couch looking at the zooborns book that Jenny got her and she turned to the page with the okapi and said something that sounded exactly like "okapi." it was probably a random confluence of syllables that sounded like okapi but it sounded a hell of a lot like okapi.

okapis are awesome and I never heard of them until I was in my late 20s. Good work familiarizing her early.