Kids say the darndest things

"I'm not a snack, I'm a person!"

omg

That was too all of the recent updates btw.

On rainforest fauna:

'Is the rainforest where reindeer live?'
'Is it called an aye-aye because it has two eyes?'

Ben (looking at a picture on my shirt): "That's a barrel."

Owen: "Keep your paws to yourself is a bear-rule."

clver!

During a conversation about where babies come from:

Howie: "When me and Archie were in your tummy we played lots of games together."
Me: "I don't think you were in my tummy at the same time as Archie. You came out two years earlier."
Howie (brightly): "That means I won!"

Ah, but ...

I was explaining the whole "eggs in mummy's tummy" business.

Alice: "But how did the eggs get there?"
Me: "They were all there when Mummy was born"
Alice: "hmm. So, that means My egg and Amber's egg are exactly the same age"
Me: ".... yeah!"
Alice: (saying nothing, but now has decided Amber doesn't have 2 years superiority anymore)

― Mark G, Friday, 13 February 2009 11:10 (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

So, Howie and Archie were definitely in, at the same time!

Proven by science!

Lulu made a sort of dog today, from crepe paper and plastic. "Daddy, he's very strong and if you try to break him, he will set you on fire." "Wow, what's his name?" (pause) "His name is If You Try To Break Him He Will Set You On Fire."

And They Will Know Him By the Trail of People Who Tried to Break Him and Were Subsequently et on Fire

No, you see, Daddy He's Very Strong and If You Try To Break Him He Will Set You On Fire is the name of my dog.

"Mummy, you are good at telling off, and opening."

Me: Cole can you pick up that (unused) diaper on the floor please?
Cole: Daddy, that is NOT a diaper, THAT is a pull-up.
Me: Ok pal.

I have that exact same conversation once a week.

this is not as exciting as many of these updates, but my 18-month old exclaims "OHHHH DUDE!" whenever she sees an airplane.

hahahahaha

i guess it is an appropriate response to seeing an airplane.

totally

whenever cole see an airplane he yells out "BUZZ LIGHTYEAR TO FINITEE AND BEYON"

"daddy i washed my WEINER"

where the f did he learn that one.

not a sentence, but this morning my son did a gigantic poo in his potty (he is potty training) and disappeared behind the door on his way to empty it out in the toilet - he came back a second later kind of grinning and held up his hand for a high-five

(and then went and emptied it)

haha. i am scared of potty training, but i guess we'll have to get going on it soon. our friends with a slightly older kid did this potty training "boot camp" kind of thing where it was like an intense weekend of not leaving the house ... which sounded terrible, but it seems to have worked?
anyhoo, my daughter's main verbal thing now is "book-a-book-a-book-a!" repeated over and over when she wants to read a book. or read another book.

From last Friday: "I hope Godzilla's okay."

: |

Oh, and he's got the chorus to Blue Oyster Cult's "Godzilla" stuck in his head too.

"WWGD?"

> "I hope Godzilla's okay."

don't let him watch the very first godzilla film - they explode all the oxygen in the water where he is and the last thing you see is his ribcage settling on the bottom.

luckily for the franchise this is followed by a scientist saying that further nuclear testing could easily produce more godzillas.

Yeah, he thinks black and white is boring anyways. : )

BEEPS: You should grow a mustache.

ME: You don't think you'd get just a little scared if I started walking around with a mustache?

BEEPS: Well. You don't have to grow a REALLY BIG mustache! [holds her hands out to imaginary cat whiskers.]

Me personally, I find the smaller mustaches even scarier.

aw

once very cheerfully yelled to my pal "see you later, asshole!" as our parents were taking us home from preschool. my mom was not, uh, thrilled

― i like to fart and i am crazy (gbx), Tuesday, March 17, 2009 4:54 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I am LOLing so hard here...

Yesterday, at preschool:

Teacher: So when you breathe in (mimes breathing in, shows her chest puff out), where does the air go?
Other Kid: Your stomach?
Teacher: No...
Ben: Oh! Your boobies!

It's a wonder more babies don't get the hiccups.

"I'm a sassy pooper!"

you sure are, kid

hahahahaha

Old People Say The Darndest Things would of been a good show

Would be called "Kind of LOL But Mostly Sad"

Ava has started to convene twice-daily meetings in her bedroom where she is the mayor and she tells us her opinions and summarises recent events. She reverses the big armchair, clambers in, leans on a cushion and delivers her speech. It lasts about 20min.

Last night I got the lowdown on how practically everyone in her class had dressed on World Book Day (of course, on WBD itself she was totally unforthcoming about this - we had to wait until she rolled out the info) and "things I like about my sister". This included "things she makes from Lego - you can see an example of her work over there" and "her love for hippos". I also learned that the plush hippos are called "Spotius" and "Big Fat" or, alternatively, "Surrey Hike" and "Plantar Boardby".

"The next mayor meeting is at ONE O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING and I need both you and Mummy to be there." Thankfully we had it at 7:15am instead.

Lulu has also been invited to participate. She mostly talks about her bunny and pulls hilarious faces.

What band's EP would look like this?

1. Spotius
2. Big Fat
3. Surrey Hike
4. Plantar Boardby

Deerhunter

"things she makes from Lego - you can see an example of her work over there"

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 A V A <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

also

"things I like about my sister . . . her love for hippos"

hysterical

show Lulu this picture of a mama and baby hippo - I bet she'd love it: http://a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/216392_10150179343042147_28896772146_6800898_746566_n.jpg

Haaa...Michael, that is fantastic.

Lulu was totally charmed by the hippo picture, btw!

:D

chill fuckin hippos

Playground exchange:

Other kid: I'm black, you're white!
Veronica: I'm white, you're black!
Other kid: I'm the Hulk!
Veronica: I'm Cinderella!

US race relations SOLVED