Hello Mudduh Hello Fadduh: ILX Rolling Parenting Thread

Re: the mirror. Some nurse was trying to be all helpful about getting my glasses on me and a mirror set up - NO THANK YOU I DO NOT WANT!

I had forgotten (willfully no doubt) about the stitching up. Also, when I finally got up enough courage to look at the stitches - not recommended.

Unfortunately, I had some retained placenta and lost a lot of blood and wound up having an emergency D & C and then being given 2 units of blood. I was still pretty anemic for a few weeks and felt horrible. (Much more sore, too, than with my first, who was born early and therefore was smaller).

Lots of other related dramas, but I loved the epidural with my first (and they did turn it off and give me Pitocin, but Alex emerged quickly enough that I never felt anything). I remember thinking pushing really HURT with Julia, but only 3 contractions and she was out.

My advice is this: you don't know what is going to happen or how it is going to feel or what you are going to want. So be prepared for anything, and don't set yourself up for feeling bad by thinking you'll never want an epidural or you'll never have to have a C section. You just don't know.

God I'm glad I never plan to do it again. But it is quite an experience and I'm not sorry I did it twice. (Plus, I LOVE my kids!)

They had to stitch me up *inside* as well. This worried me a little if I want to have a second one: will it affect the delivery?

I went from 5 cm to Julia's birth in 12 minutes!

WTF! I did the delivery in about ten minutes but the labour lasted quite a long time.

I think the breastfeeding is (maybe) harder because you're also dealing with tiredness and emotional turbulence (?). The days (and sometimes weeks) after delivery you have to learn so much and you realize that your world is turned upside down. A baby demands you give up being the center of attention, the baby is that center and that's a lot to deal with. I mean, shit, I'm not complaining at all, but having a baby is not all roses and petals. You have to give up a lot. And if you're tired, that can sometimes be difficult to deal with. Your body is also still recovering from the pregnancy as well. It is still the greatest experience ever. You can't describe it, seeing your baby grow in front of you. (Especially if you're breastfeeding. Numerous times I thought: I AM GIVING LIFE TO MY BABY! And it's selfish to say, but she only wanted me to comfort her when she cried, which is so flattering!)

As for the superfast birth, yeah, everyone was a bit shocked, espcially the nurses who were like, "don't push!" Uh, yeah, can't really stop, sorry. I remember thinking that if I could get my breath, I'd tell my husband to get his @ss to the end of the bed and catch the baby. It was a little unnerving to know how fast things were going and to not have anyone standing there to catch Julia! (ER doctor made it upstairs from the ER on time, though.)

-- ailsa (ailsa.watso...), January 31st, 2007 7:48 PM. (later)

YES. WHAT SHE SAID.

The cleft nurse came to see us this morning but just advised us to persevere and she will get used to it. So a few more days of no sleep for us I think.

I would also say that it helps to have a great support person. My husband was awesome both times, through some awfully dramatic moments (including the ambulance ride with Alex when I was in sudden hard labor). With Julia he was trying so hard to get me an epidural and I was having trouble communicating that there probably wasn't time. I did manage to get him to understand that I wanted him to push hard on the bottom of my spine, which he did so much that I had a bruise there for weeks afterward. (It felt great during labor!)

Archel, I hope Alice adjusts to her plate soon so that you can get some extra rest!

This is the thing I found most amazing. I had never experienced that complete primal body-taking-over-now-brain-shut-up sensation. The other shocker was the mama mountain lion scale raging fierce protectiveness that come over me every so often, when I thought my baby might be threatened.

Yeah, I remember my mum telling me that yes it's horrible and sore, but if it was *that* bad, no-one in the world would have younger siblings.

Still doesn't make me want to find out for myself, thank you very much.

That's it. I'm just going to sit in the van with a pack of smokes and a bucket of chicken, and wait until ss calls me on the cellphone to tell I can come back in now.

Although I was quite happy to give birth in hospital in the end, I had a terrible time during the four days we stayed in, full of miscommunication between different professionals and between them and me. And I'm not convinced that staying in really benefited Alice, as although she was small there was never anything actually wrong with her.

I have friends who have homebirthed and loved it, although in missouri you must have a doctor present by law, so you have to find someone willing to make a house call. I do think childbirth is overmedicalized but not to the point where I think you should give up on medical professionals! My opinion is also totally colored by a relative who had a homebirth go wrong, it's so hard to be objective about things when there's babies in the mix. A hospital near me has a nice setup, they will assign you a doula to be with you through the whole process, and you can do a water birth in hospital if you want. I didn't know about it before I picked my dr/hospital or else I might have tried that.

There was a birthing pool at my hospital (well, a giant bath tub really) but because I was induced I couldn't use it sadly.

Anyway... they have two birthing pools at my unit so hopefully I will be able to use one of them. Husband has already packed his Speedos so he can join in :)

by the way say hello to SUPER TONIO
http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/j/msnbc/Components/Photos/070201/070202_bibbaby_hmed_3a.hmedium.jpg

There was a 13-pounder born the same day as Sarah. Proud dad was telling passersby "yeah, my wife had him the normal way, no section, pretty awesome, huh?"

I've also always wondered if being born via C-Section had some sort of emotional/mental/personality impact on people. Surely there's something to be said for not having that primoridal experience of being squeezed out the birth canal?

It's a nice ideal to have a natural birth with no painkillers or other interventions, but personally I'll take the epidural (or at least the option), the painkiller for stitches, and the other comforts of modern existence (like D & Cs, done with anesthesia).

I guess I just find those radical midvives frustrating because they seem determined to ignore the experiences of a large number of women who not only want but desperately need medical intervention (like me).

I knew J. was going to come fast because Alex was quick for a first baby; I was actually a bit worried about giving birth in my car! I didn't think the car was going to recover from that kind of experience, so was glad that didn't happen.

In my small city, you could have a home birth, but you'd be hard pressed to find an RN to attend it. However, there are Certified Nurse Midwives who deliver in the hospital in a town that is close. You might be able to find a lay midwife, but I think my acquaintances who did have home births did it themselves (I knew them through La Leche League).

I've had problems with births, so if I were going to do it again, I'd stick with an OB/GYN. Others might feel most comfortable with a general practioner who delivers babies.

Northfield offers some of the options, but not all; if I wanted to give birth with a CN-M, I'd have to drive at least 20 miles to another town.

As for a home birth - I think it can be good, but if things start to go sour, it can be pretty horrible. Some friends of ours had a stillbirth because the midwife kept insisting that everything was fine.

we just went through four days of misery; both baby and mom had the flu. quite scary though he never got a high fever, but he was verging on dehydration most of the time, and the liquidy nasty poos he sprayed all over himself, the crib, and everything else on a nearly hourly basis had to be seen and smelled to be believed. holy god.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/155/371545906_527531d1bd.jpg

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/165/371544950_b2a0ebe93e.jpg