Hello Mudduh Hello Fadduh: ILX Rolling Parenting Thread

I was in the odd position of knowing exactly when I was going to go into labour - saw consultant on the Tuesday afternoon and he booked me in to be induced at 11am the next morning (Alice was small and not looking like she was going to get any bigger). So the next day I just turned up with my bag, my husband and my mum, ready to hang around and wait for something to happen. I was given a prostin pessary to stimulate contractions, and spent the rest of the day walking up and down stairs, rolling around on a gym ball, eating, and being strapped to a monitor at intervals. Second dose of prostin 6 hours after the first, still nothing.

At 8pm Matt and mum were sent home for the night as I was only having very mild contractions. I don't think the midwives thought anything would happen until the next day, but around 1am I suddenly started really feeling the pains. At about 3am I was finally moved to my own delivery room (had been sharing a random room until then) and we called Matt and mum back in.

The pains were really bad by now - hard to describe them but it's a bit like someone squeezing the life out of you while also stabbing you in the guts with a spoon - a powerful ache rather than sharp pain. I tried gas and air but at first it didn't seem to make any difference. Mum and Matt hung around mopping my brow and giving me water - those were the only things that I was able to appreciate by that point. Was incapable of talking, listening properly, or making decisions too, so birth partners - don't try to chat and don't ASK 'shall I wipe your face/rub your back/give you a glucose tablet?', just do it. If it's wrong she WILL tell you.

I hadn't laid down on the bed at all and was getting through most of the contractions standing up and leaning on it. The student midwife had to monitor Alice's heartbeat every 15 mins which was highly distracting wen it coincided with a contraction. After a while she suggested I try the gas and air again, and that combined with rotating on the birth ball proved the most successful way of managing the pain. The whole time I was on the ball I could feel what I thought were my waters leaking but which was actually blood (what they call a 'show' but there was much more of it than I ever expected).

Began asking for more pain relief at about 5.30 I think, and the midwife said I could have pethidine (what no epidural??) but I was doing so well that she thought I should persevere with the gas and air. 'Doing well' is a bit of a meaningless term in labour - all I wanted was for them to tell me EXACTLY how much longer I would have to do this and of course they couldn't.

At about 6am I asked the midwives if I might poo (seems a dumb question now) as I felt like I was going to. They said I might, but it might also mean I was nearly ready to push. When the urge became uncontrollable they got me to move onto the bed and I knelt leaning over the back of it. I'd gone from 4cm dilated at 4am to fully dilated two hours later - pretty fast! But I had absolutely NO concept of time passing, it could have been weeks, or minutes.

The pushing was wayyyy worse than the contractions alone had been - I just felt exhausted and like I was being ripped open. At some point I turned round into a sitting position. Eventually I could feel Alice's head staring to come out but as far as I was concerned she was going to be jammed in there forever, there was no way I could push any harder. Obviously, I did, and at 6.25 she was born - once the head was out the rest of her shot out at great velocity.

IF ONLY that had been it. First I had to deliver the placenta and I opted for physiological delivery (ie without a syntometrine injection to help it out). I pushed a bit feebly for a while and then waddled to the toilet holding a cardboard bowl between my legs to try getting it out while sitting down - the least dignified I felt the whole time and that's saying something. It was quite easy then, fortunately.

Finally, I was checked for tears and found to have a small tear and some grazes so stitches were in order - how bad could that be? I thought. Surely I didn't have any feeling down there any more anyway and it wouldn't take long. OH HOW WRONG I WAS. My legs were hoisted up in stirrups and I chowed down for dear life on the gas and air while a trainee (!!) gave me several local anaesthetic jabs - that was agony enough, for all the good it did. The stitches themselves seemed to take forever and I COULD feel them - not the needle going in but the pulling and stretching. It was hellish. So anything you can do to stretch the perineum and maybe avoid tearing, massage with oil or whatever, DO IT.

(Also, you will bleed like buggery afterwards and if all hospitals are as stingy with the maternity pads as mine was, take a HUGE supply of your own.)

After this (or it may have been before the stitches, I can't remember) we were all given tea and toast. Then I had a bath, which as I was covered in blood was much appreciated. And finally I was wheeled down to the post-natal ward with Alice in my arms. Hurrah!

What's possibly more worrying is that the idea of scrubbing my nipples with a flannel currently seems more painful than all the descriptions of birth.

short version, water broke at home, went to hosp, waited until it really really hurt to get the epidural (and I think this helped because it didn't slow things down and I knew how to push better), took a nap, woke up and felt THE PRESSURE, doc comes in and tells me to start pushing, I pushed for half an hour or so? and then got a baby about 8 hrs after water breakage. Remarkably easy. Small tear, good recovery. Drugs made me very loopy though, was totally lost for a day or so afterward. It's like rollercoasters or something, I guess, you just get on and know at some point it's going to end and you are lost in the experience until it does, there's no sense dreading it, just know your options and have someone to argue for you in case you can't. Trust yourself.

Re: the mirror. Some nurse was trying to be all helpful about getting my glasses on me and a mirror set up - NO THANK YOU I DO NOT WANT!

I had forgotten (willfully no doubt) about the stitching up. Also, when I finally got up enough courage to look at the stitches - not recommended.

Unfortunately, I had some retained placenta and lost a lot of blood and wound up having an emergency D & C and then being given 2 units of blood. I was still pretty anemic for a few weeks and felt horrible. (Much more sore, too, than with my first, who was born early and therefore was smaller).

Lots of other related dramas, but I loved the epidural with my first (and they did turn it off and give me Pitocin, but Alex emerged quickly enough that I never felt anything). I remember thinking pushing really HURT with Julia, but only 3 contractions and she was out.

My advice is this: you don't know what is going to happen or how it is going to feel or what you are going to want. So be prepared for anything, and don't set yourself up for feeling bad by thinking you'll never want an epidural or you'll never have to have a C section. You just don't know.

God I'm glad I never plan to do it again. But it is quite an experience and I'm not sorry I did it twice. (Plus, I LOVE my kids!)

They had to stitch me up *inside* as well. This worried me a little if I want to have a second one: will it affect the delivery?

I went from 5 cm to Julia's birth in 12 minutes!

WTF! I did the delivery in about ten minutes but the labour lasted quite a long time.

I think the breastfeeding is (maybe) harder because you're also dealing with tiredness and emotional turbulence (?). The days (and sometimes weeks) after delivery you have to learn so much and you realize that your world is turned upside down. A baby demands you give up being the center of attention, the baby is that center and that's a lot to deal with. I mean, shit, I'm not complaining at all, but having a baby is not all roses and petals. You have to give up a lot. And if you're tired, that can sometimes be difficult to deal with. Your body is also still recovering from the pregnancy as well. It is still the greatest experience ever. You can't describe it, seeing your baby grow in front of you. (Especially if you're breastfeeding. Numerous times I thought: I AM GIVING LIFE TO MY BABY! And it's selfish to say, but she only wanted me to comfort her when she cried, which is so flattering!)

As for the superfast birth, yeah, everyone was a bit shocked, espcially the nurses who were like, "don't push!" Uh, yeah, can't really stop, sorry. I remember thinking that if I could get my breath, I'd tell my husband to get his @ss to the end of the bed and catch the baby. It was a little unnerving to know how fast things were going and to not have anyone standing there to catch Julia! (ER doctor made it upstairs from the ER on time, though.)

-- ailsa (ailsa.watso...), January 31st, 2007 7:48 PM. (later)

YES. WHAT SHE SAID.

The cleft nurse came to see us this morning but just advised us to persevere and she will get used to it. So a few more days of no sleep for us I think.

I would also say that it helps to have a great support person. My husband was awesome both times, through some awfully dramatic moments (including the ambulance ride with Alex when I was in sudden hard labor). With Julia he was trying so hard to get me an epidural and I was having trouble communicating that there probably wasn't time. I did manage to get him to understand that I wanted him to push hard on the bottom of my spine, which he did so much that I had a bruise there for weeks afterward. (It felt great during labor!)

Archel, I hope Alice adjusts to her plate soon so that you can get some extra rest!

This is the thing I found most amazing. I had never experienced that complete primal body-taking-over-now-brain-shut-up sensation. The other shocker was the mama mountain lion scale raging fierce protectiveness that come over me every so often, when I thought my baby might be threatened.

Yeah, I remember my mum telling me that yes it's horrible and sore, but if it was *that* bad, no-one in the world would have younger siblings.

Still doesn't make me want to find out for myself, thank you very much.

That's it. I'm just going to sit in the van with a pack of smokes and a bucket of chicken, and wait until ss calls me on the cellphone to tell I can come back in now.

Although I was quite happy to give birth in hospital in the end, I had a terrible time during the four days we stayed in, full of miscommunication between different professionals and between them and me. And I'm not convinced that staying in really benefited Alice, as although she was small there was never anything actually wrong with her.

I have friends who have homebirthed and loved it, although in missouri you must have a doctor present by law, so you have to find someone willing to make a house call. I do think childbirth is overmedicalized but not to the point where I think you should give up on medical professionals! My opinion is also totally colored by a relative who had a homebirth go wrong, it's so hard to be objective about things when there's babies in the mix. A hospital near me has a nice setup, they will assign you a doula to be with you through the whole process, and you can do a water birth in hospital if you want. I didn't know about it before I picked my dr/hospital or else I might have tried that.

There was a birthing pool at my hospital (well, a giant bath tub really) but because I was induced I couldn't use it sadly.

Anyway... they have two birthing pools at my unit so hopefully I will be able to use one of them. Husband has already packed his Speedos so he can join in :)

by the way say hello to SUPER TONIO
http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/j/msnbc/Components/Photos/070201/070202_bibbaby_hmed_3a.hmedium.jpg

There was a 13-pounder born the same day as Sarah. Proud dad was telling passersby "yeah, my wife had him the normal way, no section, pretty awesome, huh?"

I've also always wondered if being born via C-Section had some sort of emotional/mental/personality impact on people. Surely there's something to be said for not having that primoridal experience of being squeezed out the birth canal?

It's a nice ideal to have a natural birth with no painkillers or other interventions, but personally I'll take the epidural (or at least the option), the painkiller for stitches, and the other comforts of modern existence (like D & Cs, done with anesthesia).

I guess I just find those radical midvives frustrating because they seem determined to ignore the experiences of a large number of women who not only want but desperately need medical intervention (like me).

I knew J. was going to come fast because Alex was quick for a first baby; I was actually a bit worried about giving birth in my car! I didn't think the car was going to recover from that kind of experience, so was glad that didn't happen.