Hello Mudduh Hello Fadduh: ILX Rolling Parenting Thread

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We were absolutely amazd how good the images were. It's due the 1st August, so we're 13 weeks :0)

― Vicky (Vicky), Friday, 26 January 2007 22:47 (nineteen years ago)

Wow! Congratulations!!

― Tom (Groke), Friday, 26 January 2007 23:04 (nineteen years ago)

Congrats to VickyP and PorkyPie! (If the baby's six days late there'll be birthday insanity in the 'hood).

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Friday, 26 January 2007 23:19 (nineteen years ago)

Really enjoying reading this thread for tips. I used to loiter on ILX a lot, then we (the boy Lynskey and I) moved house and a few computer-less weeks got me out of the habit. Now I'm back, and Lynskey lurks, and the 3rd member of the family, The Blip, is due on 19th July.

Congrats Vicky, I'm 2 weeks ahead of you.
Oddly your baby is due on my birthday, and I've been told that if I'm I'm late and have to be induced then I'll spend my 30th birthday giving birth. I won't be inviting people to the party, but I will be making the most of the drugs available :)

ihttp://www.flickr.com/photos/bilblio/357398994/

― celeste (Celeste), Friday, 26 January 2007 23:27 (nineteen years ago)

ah that's where lynskey's been! MAKING BABIES!! congrats to you and to you and you!

now, who's next? I bet it is mark c.

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 26 January 2007 23:55 (nineteen years ago)

That Edith video is fantastic - such genuine care in her decisions; there's no way Ava would do anything so deliberately and calmly.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Saturday, 27 January 2007 01:09 (nineteen years ago)

Congratulations parents to be!

― luna (luna.c), Saturday, 27 January 2007 01:19 (nineteen years ago)

wow! another one! congrats!

august and july. my fetus is so old.

― sunny successor agrees: gay dad always trumps slutty mom (katharine), Saturday, 27 January 2007 10:09 (nineteen years ago)

Teeny: Alas, I don't, I read it in a Belgian interview with various experts explaining different theories. (Which also included people saying that some advise to breastfeed until age of four!)

Edith is so darn cute!!!!!

Ophelia's teething again. I'm a bit worried (hah!) as her gum is VERY swollen. Poor thing. :-(

Vicky, congratulations!

I'm counting the days: Thursday I'm off to Japan. Yikes, almost 12 hrs on a plane with Ophelia.

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Saturday, 27 January 2007 10:24 (nineteen years ago)

now, who's next? I bet it is mark c.

!!!! Not for a while I don't think, Teeny :)

― === temporary username === (Mark C), Saturday, 27 January 2007 11:06 (nineteen years ago)

Wow, congratulations Vicky and Chris xx

(Oh noes, all my friends be having babies!)

― ailsa (ailsa), Saturday, 27 January 2007 12:05 (nineteen years ago)

Congrats, Vicky and Chris!

I'm having a similar issue as Nathalie mentions above about having to start disciplining. Cyrus is getting into terrible 2 behavior now at 20 months and Rufus (4), who never did the terrible 2 thing, is regressing and copying Cyrus's tantrums. I know its a limits-testing, power-checking thing and I need to be disciplining Cyrus, but I haven't let go of Cyrus as a baby yet, and still just want to appease him and make him stop crying. I need to switch gears and be more of a Firm Parent with him. When Cyrus has tantrums, he bangs his head against the wall or me or the table. It's very disconcerting.

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Saturday, 27 January 2007 13:20 (nineteen years ago)

Congratulations Vicky and Chris, so happy for you:)
And Celeste too!

Soon, this thread shall rule the world...

I am entranced by that video of Edith - so delicate and focused.

― Archel (Archel), Saturday, 27 January 2007 15:20 (nineteen years ago)

Congrats to all the 'rents-to-be! One of my best friends had a little boy yesterday. I'm so excited about meeting my baby in the next two-four weeks!

― Meg Busset (Mog), Saturday, 27 January 2007 15:26 (nineteen years ago)

Maria, my sister's only child used to have horrible whiney tantrums whenever he didn't get what he wanted. She always ended up folding, he got his way, and everyone in the vicinity gritted their teeth at the major spoilage. But you know what? He's 28 now, and one of the most fabulous people on the planet!

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Saturday, 27 January 2007 16:40 (nineteen years ago)

So don't beat yourself up about your impulse to appease. You can't really "spoil" your child.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Saturday, 27 January 2007 16:41 (nineteen years ago)

I disagree with that.

― do i have to draw you a diaphragm (Rock Hardy), Saturday, 27 January 2007 17:06 (nineteen years ago)

Congrats, Vicky and Chris! A lovely first birthday present for the thread.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Saturday, 27 January 2007 17:19 (nineteen years ago)

You can't really "spoil" your child.

I beg to differ...

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Saturday, 27 January 2007 22:55 (nineteen years ago)

OTM, you absolutely can spoil a child.

― ailsa (ailsa), Saturday, 27 January 2007 22:56 (nineteen years ago)

Well, maybe you can spoil the child, but the adult will emerge regardless.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Sunday, 28 January 2007 04:28 (nineteen years ago)

Are you saying that spoiling or not-spoiling has no effect on how a kid turns out?

― do i have to draw you a diaphragm (Rock Hardy), Sunday, 28 January 2007 04:33 (nineteen years ago)

Beth, you always carry the baggage of your upbringing (and even the ones of your parents). Of course you don't have absolute control over your kid. It's a relationship and s/he brings a certain amount in it. But I've seen it: spoilt kids are teh worst. When I have'em in the shop, I give them the eye and they quickly shut up. I'm prepared, Ophelia won't ever get hit spanked, I'll just give her the look. hah!

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Sunday, 28 January 2007 07:58 (nineteen years ago)

We have photos of my sister with bruises on her forehead. She used to bang her head on the supermarket floor, which must have been particularly hard for my parents to cope with. Unfortunately, I can't remember them ever following through on a punishment - it was all threats and no follow-up - and they still haven't got their heads around how not to spoil their kids. They would do absolutely anything for us, which is great, but I think it has made a huge difference to the way both of us behave.

It's great to see a sprout in the Cabbage family!

― Mï¿½dchen (Madchen), Sunday, 28 January 2007 10:05 (nineteen years ago)

Vicky, I thought it was on this thread, but it evidently wasn't, where I thought you were pregnant and you were denying it. I WAS RIGHT! YOU WERE!!

My parents were and continue to be very good and generous to my brother and I, but we were certainly never spoiled. We were spanked when we deserved it, went without when it was necessary (but never *deprived*), punished when naughty, but ALWAYS made to understand WHY these things were being done or not.

Beth, I can't believe you think the things you do to your kid in their formative years has no effect on the way they turn out as an adult. OF COURSE it does. I have a very strong sense of right or wrong, of morality and decency, and I'm pretty sure that this was instilled in me by my parents - you're saying it's just coincidence, and similarly the the little cow I went to school with that made my life hell for years wasn't a product of her childhood of being left to do pretty much as she pleased, for example? Being well-rounded is an accident of birth? Please.

― ailsa (ailsa), Sunday, 28 January 2007 12:22 (nineteen years ago)

I know Ailsa it was on the sandbox thread, but it was still relatively early days, it took us 23 months of trying to get pregnant and I'd had some spotting, so although I was bursting at the seams to tell people I didn't want to go public until I was pretty confident that everything was ok. Sorry!

― Vicky (Vicky), Sunday, 28 January 2007 13:17 (nineteen years ago)

No, that's OK, I'm just congratulating myself on my "reading between the lines" skillz.

― ailsa (ailsa), Sunday, 28 January 2007 13:21 (nineteen years ago)

Classic ever-recurring nature vs. nurture debate here. I'm with all of you. It's not either/or. It's and/and. I think kids are who they are no matter what you do to them, but you can perhaps have some influence on them, and help refine them. You can't make them more of who they are, but you can diminish them. In the end, I think peers have a greater influence on who people turn out to be, on the choices they make, than their parents do.

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Sunday, 28 January 2007 14:33 (nineteen years ago)

I actually do believe that your parenting has no bearing on how they turn out. Sorry. I tried to do a good job, just for the hell of it—as some sort of meaningless conceptual (hah) art project.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Sunday, 28 January 2007 16:40 (nineteen years ago)

If you "diminish" your kids, then you're a piece o' shit, and then if your kid turns out to be a piece o' shit, who can tell if it's what you did to them or your piece o' shit genetic trait?
As genetic studies and twin studies pile up, the jury is beginning to file back into the courtroom. But do a good job anyway, for the sake of that tiny percentage determined by nurture.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Sunday, 28 January 2007 16:44 (nineteen years ago)

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/178/372087383_2b726fa5b2.jpg

― onimo (onimo), Sunday, 28 January 2007 19:35 (nineteen years ago)

Cute! What a happy face!

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Sunday, 28 January 2007 20:07 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.lyttonewing.com/

"Ph34r" my HTML skills. Still only the one pic of him cos I've not got the others online yet.

― Tom (Groke), Sunday, 28 January 2007 21:46 (nineteen years ago)

Aw, Tom, so much cuteness!

(Gerry, Megan looks totally like her mum!)

― ailsa (ailsa), Sunday, 28 January 2007 21:48 (nineteen years ago)

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/144/371551443_6b92232df9.jpg

― schwantz (schwantz), Monday, 29 January 2007 21:29 (nineteen years ago)

happy!

― sunny successor agrees: gay dad always trumps slutty mom (katharine), Wednesday, 31 January 2007 16:19 (nineteen years ago)

Almost drunkenly happy!

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Wednesday, 31 January 2007 16:22 (nineteen years ago)

oh what a cutie! and the onesie as well! :-D

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Wednesday, 31 January 2007 16:26 (nineteen years ago)

ooh. are they owls on the onesie?

― sunny successor agrees: gay dad always trumps slutty mom (katharine), Wednesday, 31 January 2007 16:27 (nineteen years ago)

parents of ILX: please relate labor/delivery stories. im full term next week and getting SCARED of the unknown.

― sunny successor agrees: gay dad always trumps slutty mom (katharine), Wednesday, 31 January 2007 17:01 (nineteen years ago)

Have "GIVE ME A FUCKING EPIDURAL" tattooed on your bits in case you forget to ask.

― === temporary username === (Mark C), Wednesday, 31 January 2007 17:06 (nineteen years ago)

ive already got a demerol IV and epidural organized. NO PAIN ALL GAIN

― sunny successor agrees: gay dad always trumps slutty mom (katharine), Wednesday, 31 January 2007 17:12 (nineteen years ago)

Sunny, with my first I woke up starving, ate everything in sight, then 2 hours later started getting "stomach cramps". These continued for about 2 hours, during which time I never grasped the fact I was in labor. Because, really it just felt like stomach cramps - only eventually I decided something was wrong, I was dying of something horrible, and finally got to the doctor's office. When he checked me, my water broke. His comment "No wonder you aren't feeling so good: you're fully dilated." They got me into a wheelchair, whisked me down a corridor to the hospital (which was next door), nailed me with an epidural (didn't work as expected because I'm wired oddly or something but it didn't matter), and bingo! healthy baby in 30 minutes.

I don't know exactly what I expected labor pains to feel like. Not like stomach cramps though!

― Jaq (Jaq), Wednesday, 31 January 2007 17:14 (nineteen years ago)

HOLY CRAP

― sunny successor agrees: gay dad always trumps slutty mom (katharine), Wednesday, 31 January 2007 17:15 (nineteen years ago)

actually, ive been getting stomach cramps the past two days, but ive been eating A LOT

― sunny successor agrees: gay dad always trumps slutty mom (katharine), Wednesday, 31 January 2007 17:16 (nineteen years ago)

I should probably add - my daughter arrived two weeks early, so I wasn't really expecting to be in labor. But yeah, 3 hours, not bad, hard work at the end when your body just sort of takes over and goes "get this parasite outta here!".

My son was a week late, induced because the doc was going off on a golf holiday. They started the oxytocin drip at 8 am and he was borned at 10 am.

YMMV, but don't ph34r, it could go so fast you won't believe it.

― Jaq (Jaq), Wednesday, 31 January 2007 17:20 (nineteen years ago)

thanks, jaq. i sure hope so.

― sunny successor agrees: gay dad always trumps slutty mom (katharine), Wednesday, 31 January 2007 17:22 (nineteen years ago)

daughter was early, wife's water broke at 3:30 a.m and she was born by 10:30. son was way late, had to induce and he still took his damn time. tip for husbands: do NOT eat a big plate of food in the room while your wife is in labor, even if you've been there for hours and you are starving. she will murdalize you in her hormone-addled state.

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Wednesday, 31 January 2007 17:23 (nineteen years ago)

Oh yes Haikunym, this is totally true. I know a guy whose wife about killed him because he was eating peanut butter out of a jar while she was in labor. She still can't stand the smell of it.

― Jaq (Jaq), Wednesday, 31 January 2007 17:25 (nineteen years ago)

husbands: do NOT eat a big plate of food in the room while your wife is in labor, even if you've been there for hours and you are starving. she will murdalize you in her hormone-addled state.

I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. ASK ME HOW I KNOW.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 31 January 2007 17:31 (nineteen years ago)

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