Hello Mudduh Hello Fadduh: ILX Rolling Parenting Thread

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well, it's not exactly like that.

we just found out last week that our application to adopt a baby from Ethiopia has been approved. within six months, we will PROBABLY be new parents...just without the whole childbirth/pregnancy thing.

keep it on this thread though, okay? I don't want to get into a whole thing except with you guys/gals.

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 14:28 (nineteen years ago)

awesome! congratulations! that's a very brave undertaking.

― Sam rides the beat like a bicycle (Molly Jones), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 14:29 (nineteen years ago)

Congratulations, good luck, blimey, etc.

― PJ Miller (PJ Miller 68), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 14:33 (nineteen years ago)

holy shit way to go!! good luck!

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 14:34 (nineteen years ago)

Wow good luck M, I'm sure you'll be great parents all over again :)

― Archel (Archel), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 14:38 (nineteen years ago)

from africa to wisconsin! lucky kid! lucky you too. congrats!

― sunny successor (katharine), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 14:58 (nineteen years ago)

thanks everyone. we're really excited, even the kids (who've previously complained 'what about our slice of the attention pie?' == actual quote from emma)...but kinda nervous too.

but let's get back to actual tangible kids. e just turned 11, she's going trick or treating as marcia brady tonight. sammy's tapdancing classes are really paying off -- he's dressing up as gene kelly!

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 15:01 (nineteen years ago)

am I the only non-parent who reads this thread?

― Sam rides the beat like a bicycle (Molly Jones), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 15:02 (nineteen years ago)

nope.

― g00blar (gooblar), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 15:04 (nineteen years ago)

okay, cool.

matt, are you going to adopt an infant or an older child?

― Sam rides the beat like a bicycle (Molly Jones), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 15:05 (nineteen years ago)

infant girl, although that can mean anywhere from four to eleven months. not sure why we decided on a girl, except that my son and i didn't care about gender and my wife and daughter wanted another co-conspirator.

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 15:12 (nineteen years ago)

(hey sam, did you get my invitation to the new nba keeper league?)

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 15:13 (nineteen years ago)

have not checked my fantasy league mail in a couple of days. I barely am understanding the first fantasy league!

― Sam rides the beat like a bicycle (Molly Jones), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 15:20 (nineteen years ago)

haha awesome

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 16:26 (nineteen years ago)

I HATE DAYLIGHT SAVINGS!!!! My kids are driving me bonkers with the 5am wakeup call. Like HELL I "got an extra hour" of sleep.

― don weiner (don weiner), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 16:42 (nineteen years ago)

yeah but you make it up on the other end, no?

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 16:44 (nineteen years ago)

Haikunym, I'm so happy for you! Just had clients the other week who said their kids (adults of course) had to wait for THREE years until they could adopt a Chinese girl.

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 16:53 (nineteen years ago)

Don, you said it. But O's adapting quite well.

― Nathalie (stevie nixed), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 16:53 (nineteen years ago)

Ethiopia is one of the easiest places to adopt from in terms of time and bureaucracy. But some agencies still require 18 months of waiting. We have a good agency though.

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 16:58 (nineteen years ago)

Congrats, Matt! May I suggest the name nabiscunym?

― The Redd 47 Ronin (Ken L), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 18:29 (nineteen years ago)

don otm!!!

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 19:06 (nineteen years ago)

No, Ken, you may not.

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 19:09 (nineteen years ago)

I'm sure there are plenty non-parents who read this thread.

― ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 19:41 (nineteen years ago)

I haven't posted too much on this thread but we're having boy #2 in January. Here is boy #1, Oliver, who turned 2 a few weeks ago. He never wants to go to sleep. We put him in the crib and he just wails. Is this a 2yo thing or unique to my boy? He will eventually get too tired and just fall asleep but it's excruciating for us and probably him as well. Sometimes he just falls asleep in our bed and we transfer, but that doesn't seem to be like a good habit to be in. Any tips?

http://static.flickr.com/90/248625035_25ae9411e6.jpg

― mcd (mcd), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 19:53 (nineteen years ago)

Can someone explain me adoption rules in the US? Maybe this is another thread in the making (have we really not had one about Madonna, or did I miss it?), but why adopt from a foreign country?

― ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 19:59 (nineteen years ago)

US adoption policy means that biological parents can change their minds at the last second. We didn't want to go that route.

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 20:08 (nineteen years ago)

A friend of mine has adopted TWO babies from China because from what I understand they are doing some kuh-razy things to try to curb the growth of their population, and also because he is sterile haha. I guess that's not exactly "haha" stuff but whatever, cute Chinese babies, rescued!

― polar bear flashback episode (nickalicious), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 20:09 (nineteen years ago)

No, Ken, you may not
haibisco?

― The Redd 47 Ronin (Ken L), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 20:13 (nineteen years ago)

OK, I'll stop.

― The Redd 47 Ronin (Ken L), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 20:13 (nineteen years ago)

What about orphaned children?

xxxpost

― ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 20:14 (nineteen years ago)

A friend of mine has adopted TWO babies from China because from what I understand they are doing some kuh-razy things to try to curb the growth of their population

Eh?!?!? What?!?!? Are they, like, drowning babies or something, or forcing them out of the country?

― ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 20:17 (nineteen years ago)

ailsa, there was an interesting article in the nytimes about this fairly recently. basically, interracial adoptions came in for heavy criticism in the 70s with the end result being that they're still strongly discouraged today even with dire need. this is a huge factor, if not the hugest, factor in the foreign adoption boom.

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 20:20 (nineteen years ago)

uh, that should be "this is a huge, if not the hugest, factor in the foreign adoption boom."

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 20:21 (nineteen years ago)

re: Chinese population control

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/One-child_policy

― polar bear flashback episode (nickalicious), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 20:22 (nineteen years ago)

Oh, wow, I'm looking into this a bit more now. I knew about the Chinese one-child thing, a bit, but I haven't really thought about the implications that much. Thanks all.

― ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 20:28 (nineteen years ago)

basically, interracial adoptions came in for heavy criticism in the 70s with the end result being that they're still strongly discouraged today even with dire need.

Did Diff'rent Strokes teach us nothing?

― sunny successor (katharine), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 20:39 (nineteen years ago)

We have friends who have adopted domestically / interracially, with no problems to speak of. But we live in a pretty accepting place of the country.

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 20:41 (nineteen years ago)

I'm sure there are plenty non-parents who read this thread.

Yup, I just don't post. :)

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 20:42 (nineteen years ago)

ilxoffspring.xls :)

― sunny successor (katharine), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 20:46 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah, jaymc reads a thread on ILX non-shockah!

― ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 20:47 (nineteen years ago)

I read this thread too! And, like (as far as I can tell) all other men, I am bound to be sterile anyway :)

There's been quite a lot in the news lately about the effects of adopting a child of a different race but I haven't really caught up with it.

― === temporary username === (Mark C), Tuesday, 31 October 2006 22:29 (nineteen years ago)

mcd, my son went through a crying-in-the-crib phase, many years ago—he's 24. I steeled myself and let him do it. It was awful, but soon he figured out a quieter transition into sleep. People are tempestuous creatures, right from birth. They want and want and want. Stuff, love, attention—we're bottomless pits, all of us.
Your redhead is so cute!

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Wednesday, 1 November 2006 00:44 (nineteen years ago)

i am yet to spawn, but i always read this thread too. i like reading about how much you all love your little tackers.

i have two mates at uni who were adopted from other countries to parents of a different race. they are both awesome, happy, well-adjusted etc. and i live in a fairly conservative city.

― gem (trisk), Wednesday, 1 November 2006 00:53 (nineteen years ago)

Here he is, recovered from the crib-crying.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Wednesday, 1 November 2006 00:56 (nineteen years ago)

Actually, he does look a tad distressed there.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Wednesday, 1 November 2006 00:57 (nineteen years ago)

Wow, that's a cute kid. Nice curls there too.

soon he figured out a quieter transition into sleep.

After months of this not wanting to go to sleep, tonight he gave me a little fuss and then after I left the room said, "Goodnight." and that was it! I should have posted to this thread a long time ago apparently.

Your redhead is so cute!

Thanks! He knows it, too, and tries to use it to his advantage.

― mcd (mcd), Wednesday, 1 November 2006 02:45 (nineteen years ago)

Whoah, Beth, Nigel is so blonde in that picture. I've never seen him with longer than close-to-the-scalp hair.

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Wednesday, 1 November 2006 04:35 (nineteen years ago)

We're struggling with a 17-month-old still waking up at night. Finding that if we just ignore the crying, he goes back to sleep (after some time of torture) and so do we. Not an easy answer. This after a couple of months of taking him into the bed and nobody getting a good night. It is a test of wills, I think. Our littlest is a drama queen, and I'm starting to take his wails less seriously. Of course, I check to make sure he's not cold or wet or trapped in his blankets.

― Maria :D (Maria D.), Wednesday, 1 November 2006 04:38 (nineteen years ago)

We solved this problem by not solving it and just letting our kids stay in the bed. It wasn't always optimal -- Emma is too big and always slept diagonally -- but it wasn't so bad either. Then again, we are damned dirty hippies apparently.

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Wednesday, 1 November 2006 05:43 (nineteen years ago)

Whatever works. Just so long as they're not still sleeping in your bed when they get married.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Friday, 3 November 2006 00:02 (nineteen years ago)

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