I SCORED A GOAL FFS

Downgraded to broken collarbone

You'll be glad to hear folks, i had a nightmare tonight.

clavicular fortitude

Don't believe that for a second. Commiserations to your boy.

howd it happen

He went in shoulder to shoulder with the wrong 6 ft 5 doctor, who rather sheepishly diagnosed the damage afterwards

One of my teammates did his collarbone at fives once - gentle jog towards the wall and put up his foot to spring away from it, only there was condensation on it and he slipped and just collapsed inwards like a burst bouncy castle, only really fast. Thought he was a goner tbh, it felt like a lucky escape in the end.

My worst fives injury was a cunted baw in the baws. 20 years since and the memory is still vivid.

i was messing and tripped a friend, in the park, about 15 years ago. as he fell he basically flicked a hand to jab me in the nuts, barely any contact but whatever way he connected it practically blinded me with pain.

i'd say it was a one-inch punch if someone can lock the thread now.

'the flick of the sack' was a widely respected skill in my secondary school days out west, it was always given its full title and a tone of due respect was used

Yeah, all the guys at my school spent most of Year 9 walking around between classes cupping themselves, so virulent had become the trend for the backhand flick as you passed each other in the corridor. Everywhere you looked there was weeping lads wheezing and sinking to the floor. The things kids do eh

In my idler moments I sometimes daydream about having a crack at the doucher who works at the desk opposite mine, just for old time's sake like

Ken scored a goal today. I was the schmuck who just failed to clear it off the line. We still won though.

It might help my credibility itt to note the appalling form and lack of goals the past three months

Jinking one-footed run through four men and nestled in off back of post

Left foot half volley crashed off underside of bar, in off gk's back

Good to be back

ps fell on a fellas knee and my backs fucked

I scored two goals today where the keeper got hand to the ball but couldn't keep it out. The first one made me feel good because it was a nice shot and I hadn't scored in a while. The second one was from close range and I should have put it in the corner. I felt strangely unsatisfied

I knwo a goal's a goal, but when I score one that's not that great (eg one that comes off my shin and bobbles over the line) I'm all like 'meh'. And it's not like I score a lot of goals either. I feel like I should be grateful for any goal that I get

crashed heavily on my shoulder ffs

trying to compensate getting into the shower and I cramped in three places and fell out of the actual fuckin room ffs

back like a fox

well?

met a clearance like a right footed Jody morris, 25 yds in a flash.

juggled over marker, caught on upbounce with heel to spin around another man, left foot chip over gk

just the highlights like. the few weeks off sure I'm a new man

ken played v well today

I saved a penalty ffs, ripper too

the other week i played my first game of fitba in a couple of years. didn't score a goal ffs. missed a tap-in from about a foot out. torres-esque.

ahem

last kick of an 8-0 win

four in a row through the keepers legs in a first-to-five game, cos I had to get home early

back like a fox

― is this empty sanitism (darraghmac), Thursday, 7 August 2014 22:03 (11 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Im back playing three a week but this thread will remain untroubled .... think the knee injury has robbed me of the magic ;-;

My knee is so weird. With the aid of a spectacular new knee brace, I played tonight because we were a couple of men down; I thought I'd just make up the numbers. But the brace was awesome! Scored three or four, the best of which was George Weah-esque; picked it up in our area from a defensive corner, and too, it all the way upfield before rolling it under the keeper. In 25 degree heat on AstroTurf, that was quite an effort.

― they all are afflicted with a sickness of existence (Scik Mouthy), Friday, 5 July 2013 18:32 (3 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Would take a recommendation on the brace tho pls

last night then

hour-long five a side in a game where maybe 3 of our team was lazy or incompetent, vs maybe 1 of their team. they should have scored 35. we changed keeper every two goals. my two stints in goal took up more than half the time. we won that time 11-4. my two stints out of goal were characterised by us conceding almost every shot we faced, and trust me here my outfield play wasn't the issue. to say my keeping was on fire is an understatement. but anyway, as 9pm ticked around the game was actually and miraculously tied at 16-16 after a truly bizarre scoring sequence (5-1 up, 12-6 down, 15-12 up) and the shout NEXT GOAL WINS went up. and friends, I chose THAT moment to do something I hadn't done all evening

I SCORED A GOAL FFS

(a cool gentle sidefooted half-volley into the near corner past the advancing keeper with my wrong foot)

kudos

http://iob.imgur.com/uYGg/9m3i7TGx3y

wish 5s was more of a thing in stupid canada

http://i.imgur.com/30yWKco.jpg

wow how's he going to save that tent

had to shoot from range they were camped in their own half ffs

btw I scored 6 in last week's fives, the novelty is wearing off. guess i'll only mention the screamers from here on out, or the ones that took place on a beach

I scored four a couple of weeks ago, including the one that got us to 11-9 up after having been 6-0 down very early on. Sadly I also conceded their equaliser at the death.

Scored one tonight, but then completely missed the ball in exactly the same spot later on, under no pressure.

i played the first game with my new work crowd today and rose like a former ulster boys u13 high jump champion at the far post to head home the winner from a corner

it was the winner because the guy marking me hit the back of my head and fucked up his eye worse than the "cut me" scene in rocky and had to be carted off to emergency

#intro

how sharp is your head ffs

Deems, Wolf of Shrewsbury Road

it was one of those sac full of fluid injuries, flopping down over his eye

done a sweet rendition of keane v overmars on ilm top 77 today

good work

scored 6 culminating in the robson-kanu goal hmd

I went to a physio ffs who literally said ffs when I told him I'd been attempting to score goals ffs

Now I'm not allowed score goals ffs

Oh lads

An absolute worldy today, lobbed pass back to me from the corner flag and pearled home into far corner still accelerating in a windmill volley

Was shite besides.