Tragic Football Stories - Let us Kick Around the misshapen Jabulani that is English football right here

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Maybe take some of the Britishes interest navel-gazing out of the proper World Cup thread I thought?

Mertesacker Emptiness (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 09:52 (nine years ago) link


Lennon Huddlestone Wilshere Young Agbonlahor Walcott
c'mon fabio you know it makes sense

― ,,,,,,eeeeleon (darraghmac), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 09:41 (11 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Maybe I shall regret going here but I wonder what it is about those guys that mightn't appeal to England's core fan demographic as much as Lamps and Stevie and Rooney and Barry

― Mertesacker Emptiness (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 09:42 (10 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

can't understand who chairmen/managers think they're pleasing when they buy a player in to sit on the bench and play 5 times a season.

In Scottish football, historically this has been a method used by the Celtic and Rangers to make sure they have the player and no-one else does

― I am utterly and abjectly pissed off with this little lot (Tom D.), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 09:43 (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

ooooh NV

cmon seriously?

― ,,,,,,eeeeleon (darraghmac), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 09:46 (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

As long as they're winning they'll be fine

― I am utterly and abjectly pissed off with this little lot (Tom D.), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 09:47 (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I dunno. No, not seriously, but let us consider the "type" of an England "hero". Let's think of Stuart Pearce's bulging neck veins as he shouts for Carling in that ad or whatever. I mean "Englishness" is a definite thing for a lot of the England hardcore. And I definitely think the FA is more bothered about the Brand than the football, tbh.

― Mertesacker Emptiness (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 09:48 (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

There's a shitload to unpack in what are widely considered the virtues of the English game compared to the virtues that other big football nations espouse. I really really don't want to kick start a clusterfuck but it was a fleeting thought when I looked at that front 6 of darragh's up there.

― Mertesacker Emptiness (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 09:50 (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

saw the england-usa game in a south london pub where the guy behind me was a passionate england fan who shouted abuse at the team from the start, culminating in calling robert green a "fucking paki". so i could imagine this becoming a thing.

― joe, Tuesday, 29 June 2010 09:52 (21 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Mertesacker Emptiness (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 09:53 (nine years ago) link

Thought this could be a general argument about the England team rather than a race clusterfuck but am leaving the steps that led here in the interests of full disclosure.

Mertesacker Emptiness (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 09:54 (nine years ago) link

Somebody told me that one at work yesterday. Got plenty of love for Becks but I rolled about laughing at the idea. He's too much of a politician to want the job I'd've thought.

Mertesacker Emptiness (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:00 (nine years ago) link

yeah this was needed tbh

,,,,,,eeeeleon (darraghmac), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:01 (nine years ago) link

I suppose the model there is Klinsmann and Germany

I am utterly and abjectly pissed off with this little lot (Tom D.), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:01 (nine years ago) link

if only for the poetry

,,,,,,eeeeleon (darraghmac), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:01 (nine years ago) link

Becks has no coaching badges, no managerial experience and has never courted the job. So on the surface he would seem a high-risk successor.

But

Classic But

Mertesacker Emptiness (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:01 (nine years ago) link

becks is no klinsmann

,,,,,,eeeeleon (darraghmac), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:01 (nine years ago) link

Sheringham won't take it, seems to have no interest in coaching.

scholes hates the publicity

,,,,,,eeeeleon (darraghmac), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:02 (nine years ago) link

You're gonna be stuck with Gary Neville imo

,,,,,,eeeeleon (darraghmac), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:02 (nine years ago) link

what England needs is a player-manager.

but that man must be Maradona.

NYC Goatse.cx and Flowers (Merdeyeux), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:02 (nine years ago) link

Seriously Beckham might be more use to English football right now if he got involved with FA politics à la Brooking.

Mertesacker Emptiness (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:04 (nine years ago) link

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/world_cup_2010/8766476.stm

g taylor talks sense here imo

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/world_cup_2010/8688093.stm

this article a chastening example: According to European football's governing body Uefa, Spain had almost 15,000 Uefa A and Pro Licence coaches in 2008 - more than double the number of any other European nation. And that is despite it taking 750 study hours to acquire a Pro Licence in Spain, compared with just 245 in England.

r|t|c, Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:04 (nine years ago) link

Should go the whole hog and have John Terry as player-manager if England have no hope of anything ever for the next 10 years.

James Mitchell, Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:06 (nine years ago) link

xp saying that, the english u20s are looking pretty good actually

guess they always do though

r|t|c, Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:06 (nine years ago) link

Capello will get massive abuse in the media and inevitably eventually the sack, and will likely largely get off the hook here. I reckon the media closer to the truth than we are - the guy created an unhappy camp, took a poor and unadventurous squad, and in any case you're not telling me that that team couldn't've been put out to perform better than that. But I'd still keep him because:

- the guy's track record is still outstanding, even with this massive blot on it
- you don't get a track record like that without learning from your mistakes - no way are England going to turn up at another tournament looking like that
- surely this debacle is at least partly the result of him acting against his instincts - let him have free reign, and if it means a lot of bruised egos well so be it, massaged egos haven't brought results either
- he's getting paid whatever - giving possibly the outstanding club manager of the last twenty years £10m not to work for you is indefensible right now
- realistically, what's the alternative?

Ismael Klata, Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:06 (nine years ago) link

- realistically, what's the alternative?

A Scottish manager

I am utterly and abjectly pissed off with this little lot (Tom D.), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:08 (nine years ago) link

england u-20s have always looked good, yeah.

the last england u-15 side i caught ina full match was pretty amazing, AFAIR a certain A johnson was only one of maybe three Middlesborough players in the midfield.

,,,,,,eeeeleon (darraghmac), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:08 (nine years ago) link

Capello gets free rein from me for creating an unhappy camp, if the alternative is to create a happy camps of spoiled brats.

Bringing the 23 players he did, after picking what i thought was a very bright and encouraging 30 to begin with, yeah that's a black mark.

Selecting the 11-15 players he did from those 23 consistently regardless of performance- ey Fabio this ain't the league mate.

,,,,,,eeeeleon (darraghmac), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:10 (nine years ago) link

rationally speaking capello should probably stay but the taint of failure is often insurmountable past a point

harry redknapp is the only alternative worth considering - he would do it but the tax fiddling's most likely knocked it on the head

r|t|c, Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:10 (nine years ago) link

i think whether the fa are prepared to pay £12m to scapegoat capello is going to be a good litmus test of their appetite for real reform, which is why i expect him to get the sack. if they wanted him to stay they could have said so immediately - after two weeks of speculation, he'll be glad to get out i imagine.

joe, Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:11 (nine years ago) link

I'd keep Capello + get rid of Lamps + Gerrard.

I am utterly and abjectly pissed off with this little lot (Tom D.), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:12 (nine years ago) link

How is letting Capello have his way not going to create another unhappy camp, unless different players are involved? And as you say, Capello picked the squad. So either this was a knowing ploy to get rid of a lot of the old guard after failure, or he's not the judge of a player we might've thought he was, or there's a near-insurmountable pressure to pick guys who aren't good enough/fit enough/mentally right that will still be there whoever Capello is replaced with.

Mertesacker Emptiness (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:12 (nine years ago) link

he's getting paid whatever - giving possibly the outstanding club manager of the last twenty years £10m not to work for you is indefensible right now

realest talk, but watch and learn

,,,,,,eeeeleon (darraghmac), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:12 (nine years ago) link

joe totally otm. Capello sacked, new boss, business as usual. Especially if the new boss is Arry as he would be the perfect expression of the FA as Business Ueber Alles.

Mertesacker Emptiness (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:14 (nine years ago) link

redknapp should be able to settle with the revenue. pay them £40,000, call it a misunderstanding. it'll all be dug up again the moment england go through a bad patch but i could see a desperate fa turning a blind eye now.

joe, Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:14 (nine years ago) link

"ey Fabio this ain't the league mate" pretty much sums up dude's failings, yeah

r|t|c, Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:14 (nine years ago) link

Arry is also a great exponent of 442. Sticking with Capello would be the 451 thing to do, IMO

^yes I went there

so you want Mark Ronson to cry into your ass (acoleuthic), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:15 (nine years ago) link

Redknapp would be a disastrous international manager, he thrives on being able to bring in players to solve problems and if those players are just not out there in the 'market' I'm not sure he'd be able to fix things. Also the FA were pretty nervous about Venables' dodgy dealings and I'm not sure they'd take that risk with Redknapp. Also I don't want him to leave Spurs.

Hodgson at least has some experience as an international manager. He'll do.

Vulvuzela (Matt DC), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:15 (nine years ago) link

Far as I can see, only 3 English managers having any degree of success at the moment: 'Arry, Hodgson (off to the 'Pool) and, errrr, Steve McClaren. Go for the younger man I say.

I am utterly and abjectly pissed off with this little lot (Tom D.), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:16 (nine years ago) link

classic material from alan shearer's column in the sun today. it begins: "NO ONE likes kicking a man when he is down..."

oh yeah? http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/85000/images/_86318_alan_shearer_and_neil_lennon_after_kicking_incident300%2830-04-98%29allsport.jpg

joe, Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:17 (nine years ago) link

Remember when Kings used to lead their armies back in ye olde times? Get Prince William in there and make that sponger earn his salary from The FA.

They'll be dancing in the streets of Košice tonight (King Boy Pato), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:17 (nine years ago) link

DAER SPURB FANZ wud u take swop caleppo and renkdapp

so you want Mark Ronson to cry into your ass (acoleuthic), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:17 (nine years ago) link

i can't remember where i read the slow cooking/fast food domestic league vs internationals analogy but i'd trust arry & sandra to whip a quick buffet sooner than fabio or woy tbh

r|t|c, Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:18 (nine years ago) link

Redknapp, and I don't want it to happen for two main reasons, would be the ideal manager for this group, and I think that he's done well out of players he already had at Spurs as well as buying them in Matt.

Also, that would be ignoring that he could 'bring in' any number of players like Walcott, Huddlestone, Dawson, Rodwell, Wilshere, Zamora, whoever.

,,,,,,eeeeleon (darraghmac), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:18 (nine years ago) link

Bentley and Bent could suck it tho

,,,,,,eeeeleon (darraghmac), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:19 (nine years ago) link

Did Arry really say that about swapping a bentley for a honda on BBC after the Japan game btw?

,,,,,,eeeeleon (darraghmac), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:19 (nine years ago) link

Honda have quality cars, get into a Civic.

They'll be dancing in the streets of Košice tonight (King Boy Pato), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:20 (nine years ago) link

he did

it was a groaner but the shaggy-dog delivery was kinda impressive for a pundit imo

r|t|c, Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:21 (nine years ago) link

Remember when Kings used to lead their armies back in ye olde times? Get Prince William in there and make that sponger earn his salary from The FA.

― They'll be dancing in the streets of Košice tonight (King Boy Pato), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:17 (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Astride a horse = unwanted redux of Crouchch-on-as-sub high ball tactics

matthew ugh, son (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:23 (nine years ago) link

er, Crouch

matthew ugh, son (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:23 (nine years ago) link

DAER SPURB FANZ wud u take swop caleppo and renkdapp

― so you want Mark Ronson to cry into your ass (acoleuthic), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:17 (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

yes; Calippo would not

matthew ugh, son (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:25 (nine years ago) link

would definitely have capello as the successor to arry. he'd cane bentley up and down bill nick way imo

,,,,,,eeeeleon (darraghmac), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:28 (nine years ago) link

sorry usually means you'll try not to let it happen again.

,,,,,,eeeeleon (darraghmac), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:36 (nine years ago) link

An idea that just occurred to me - absolute squad limits. Clubs pick their 23 men on day one and are stuck with them. You *can* buy youngsters to sit in the stands, but everyone would have to be honest about it. Any kids in the 23 would be guaranteed playing time. The other kids, if they had any useful mentality whatsoever, would go elsewhere. Also a handy way of (i) shifting talent down the pyramid a bit, and (ii) keeping budgets down a little.

Of course it'd have to apply to the premier league to achieve anything, and there's almost no incentive for the premier league to agree to it. Which seems to be the problem with English football in a nutshell.

Ismael Klata, Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:37 (nine years ago) link

xp Try telling that to Bernie Taupin...

ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 10:37 (nine years ago) link

It seems we've never had a Pirlo thread. Shame on us. I'll put this here as it features England.

Pirlo's look of calmness with a dash of disdain before his penalty here is all time. The manner of this penalty wins the rest of the shoot out for me.

Italy v England, Euro 2012. (Penalties)
Could watch this all day.... 🇮🇹 pic.twitter.com/wBO43jAcK5

— Classic Calcio (@ClassicCalcio) March 25, 2019

Non, je ned raggette rien (onimo), Monday, 25 March 2019 22:50 (six months ago) link

Also enjoy Hart being a clown and not getting a finger to a single penalty.

Non, je ned raggette rien (onimo), Monday, 25 March 2019 22:51 (six months ago) link

the number of england players who wouldnt get an irish shirt based on their passing tonight

fremme nette his simplicitte (darraghmac), Monday, 25 March 2019 22:55 (six months ago) link

I'd take Hudson O'Doi

Number None, Monday, 25 March 2019 23:00 (six months ago) link

colm wasnt it

fremme nette his simplicitte (darraghmac), Monday, 25 March 2019 23:11 (six months ago) link

commentary during last nights England game on TV3

Chris Sutton: "You can't really blame Declan Rice choosing to play for England. Ireland have no chance of qualifying from their group"

Commentator: "Let's not talk about that"

. (Michael B), Tuesday, 26 March 2019 12:22 (six months ago) link

Up the Royal Academy.

Don't Go Back to Brockville (Tom D.), Tuesday, 26 March 2019 12:29 (six months ago) link

two months pass...

The England U21 game is crazy.

Five goals in thirteen minutes, including one for Hagi junior, 3-2 Romania,

ShariVari, Friday, 21 June 2019 18:17 (three months ago) link

make that six! 4-2

imago, Friday, 21 June 2019 18:25 (three months ago) link

Two home defeats in a row for England U21, I thought they were supposed to be good now?

Orpheus Knutt (Tom D.), Friday, 21 June 2019 18:27 (three months ago) link

one month passes...

P'tit peu d'lol mais surtout triste

Adil Rami sacked by Marseille for secretly participating on Fort Boyard

Le Bateau Ivre, Tuesday, 13 August 2019 15:22 (two months ago) link

four weeks pass...

Omg that Kosovo goal.

ShariVari, Tuesday, 10 September 2019 18:56 (one month ago) link

by the time i realised this had kicked off i missed the opportunity to lol

why's it at Southampton?

a wagon to the curious (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 10 September 2019 19:00 (one month ago) link

Only suitable venue for the Ali Dia tribute act at the back.

ShariVari, Tuesday, 10 September 2019 19:03 (one month ago) link

was brilliant tho

theRZA the JZA and the NDB (darraghmac), Tuesday, 10 September 2019 19:03 (one month ago) link

hungry boys these

theRZA the JZA and the NDB (darraghmac), Tuesday, 10 September 2019 19:32 (one month ago) link

this is all hilarious

Windsor Davies, Tuesday, 10 September 2019 19:59 (one month ago) link

5-3 after 54 minutes wtf

The Inner Mounting Phlegm (Tom D.), Tuesday, 10 September 2019 19:59 (one month ago) link

oh wait is it lol again now? hold on

a wagon to the curious (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:01 (one month ago) link

amazing defending from england, absolute shit the bed stuff

joke pen all the same

theRZA the JZA and the NDB (darraghmac), Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:02 (one month ago) link

it's quite exciting watching this team but they do need to sort out having henderson, barkley and keane in the side

imago, Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:03 (one month ago) link

keane is a dirty bomb in that backline

theRZA the JZA and the NDB (darraghmac), Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:03 (one month ago) link

get tyrone mings on ffs

imago, Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:05 (one month ago) link

Awww boo turning this off again

a wagon to the curious (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:08 (one month ago) link

fair pen imo

theRZA the JZA and the NDB (darraghmac), Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:08 (one month ago) link

nuh uh give me more kosovo goals pls

oh lol

Windsor Davies, Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:08 (one month ago) link

xxp

Windsor Davies, Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:09 (one month ago) link

oof

theRZA the JZA and the NDB (darraghmac), Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:10 (one month ago) link

Glad I bore with it

a wagon to the curious (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:10 (one month ago) link

hahahahaha come back NV come baaaaack this is so much fun

Windsor Davies, Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:11 (one month ago) link

these lads are a bit eh demonstrative

theRZA the JZA and the NDB (darraghmac), Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:12 (one month ago) link

is this that forest keeper? he was good at the valley except for his kicking

imago, Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:12 (one month ago) link

starting to think that any free kick should be passed rather than shot regardless of position

imago, Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:16 (one month ago) link

england on the attack, given free kick when they had advantage, shot wide from 30 yards. just pick up where you left off

imago, Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:17 (one month ago) link

imagine in ten years time when that era's pep comes up with the idea of kickouts

theRZA the JZA and the NDB (darraghmac), Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:18 (one month ago) link

I'm pretty sure this is terrible but it is's entertaining af

a wagon to the curious (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:20 (one month ago) link

keane is such a graceless lump, what the hell is he doing in this side

imago, Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:21 (one month ago) link

england are so purposeless now, sancho and sterling aside. it's almost like GCHQ had a word at half time

imago, Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:26 (one month ago) link

wooof welcome to the game mason

theRZA the JZA and the NDB (darraghmac), Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:31 (one month ago) link

kosovo #9 > kane

theRZA the JZA and the NDB (darraghmac), Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:32 (one month ago) link

I'm pretty sure this is terrible but it is's entertaining af

― a wagon to the curious (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:20 (twelve minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

not messing but approaching these games like this is marketing/morale genius from southgate

stressing over tactics against vastly inferior teams is toxic, poch out

theRZA the JZA and the NDB (darraghmac), Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:33 (one month ago) link

lessons I will never learn no matter what: 1. buying fruit from supermarkets 2. watching the latter stages of football matches I'm not otherwise arsed about when I notice an unusually high score

wot's the tea mum? (not beef again) (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:35 (one month ago) link

aggregate rien

theRZA the JZA and the NDB (darraghmac), Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:36 (one month ago) link

omg

imago, Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:37 (one month ago) link

Ffs don't cut to a break while they're playing "Gold Dust", that were the highlight

a wagon to the curious (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:42 (one month ago) link

Sancho made a moving tribute to his dead nan and the interviewer just ignored him and asked him about the 2nd half o_O

a wagon to the curious (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 10 September 2019 20:49 (one month ago) link

If you don’t always trust what we’re fed in the media about climate change then this man tweets some interesting stuff if it’s not fake news 🤷‍♂️👇🏼 https://t.co/l60kJu0fgc

— Matt Le Tissier (@mattletiss7) September 27, 2019

gyac, Friday, 27 September 2019 21:14 (two weeks ago) link

two weeks pass...

lol only just heard the England result

Xia Nu del Vague (Noodle Vague), Friday, 11 October 2019 23:41 (three days ago) link


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