Shit Noddy teams on Quest: EFL and beyond 21/22

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Because still using the thread from two seasons ago displays a lack of respect to teams below the top flight

Only the stong survive (Bananaman Begins), Tuesday, 17 August 2021 12:02 (five months ago) link

well someone's missing the EFL

imago, Tuesday, 17 August 2021 12:49 (five months ago) link

something something joey barton dot jpg

imago, Tuesday, 17 August 2021 12:50 (five months ago) link

Perversely pleased to have had a euphoric draw followed by an unbelievably frustrating draw in the first two fan-attended games at the new plough lane.

Gillingham we’re fucking shit and had nothing of note about them beyond Steve Evans’ panto act on the touchline.

Ayoub Assal is the best player in the league btw and I’m excited to watch him all this season cos he definitely won’t be hanging about after that.

crisp, Tuesday, 17 August 2021 22:07 (five months ago) link

*were

crisp, Tuesday, 17 August 2021 22:08 (five months ago) link

it is still quite fucking hilarious that Evans' meteoric rise up the leagues led him to Leeds Utd at one point

calzino, Tuesday, 17 August 2021 22:36 (five months ago) link

you know who's begun the season really, really badly

well of course you do

we're cursed

and muggins here made an impulsive dash to fucking stadium mk which he is only now arriving home from

imago, Tuesday, 17 August 2021 23:23 (five months ago) link

at least some of the other fancied sides have started slowly eh

Not tres Bonne #itfc pic.twitter.com/K2N9hxQ5NL

— Ben Chaplin (@Sir_Chappers) August 17, 2021

imago, Wednesday, 18 August 2021 00:24 (five months ago) link

O'Brien played last night but this was clearly a move to force Leeds hand to stump up the cash and stop fucking about. He wasn't really there, not that he shit out of tackles but when his usual extraordinary energy level drops by a few percent he looks quite an ordinary player. He'll probably get found out fast in the prem I say with no bitterness. We just need two Sorba Thomas's now so he can get on the end of his own exquisite set-piece deliveries and average 2-3 goals a game.

calzino, Wednesday, 18 August 2021 09:13 (five months ago) link

Barnet: A week in the life

https://barnetfc.com/a-message-from-our-chairman

groovypanda, Monday, 23 August 2021 16:55 (five months ago) link

I used to go to the Bees a bit in the underhill days, so I've watched their decline to the neglected works team of a Stanmore leisure centre with morbid interest. To pick up Kleanthous on just one point among many, the 'Heineken strike' (actually a strike affecting the delivery contractors) was only due to start today, and was in any case called off on friday, so was obviously not the reason the club was scrambling around to source cans of Fosters for the opening game of the season lol.

since you are a big fan of adult websites (Bananaman Begins), Tuesday, 24 August 2021 08:54 (five months ago) link

that is a wonderful read ty

he ain't perfect but fuck me he's a rheillee (imago), Tuesday, 24 August 2021 09:50 (five months ago) link

Most chances created in the Championship:

Sorba Thomas - 17
Ryan Giles - 15
John Swift - 12
Callum O’Hare - 11
Jeremie Bela - 11
Scott Malone - 11
Fabio Carvalho - 10

sigh if we had a striker who wasn't an injured Rhodes-to-nowhere or a 34 year old Frasier Campbell we'd be on fire. I think all our CBs are joint top-scorers now.

calzino, Wednesday, 25 August 2021 15:44 (four months ago) link

I think all our CBs are joint top-scorers now.

Same for Cardiff I believe, in fact I think Flint is top scorer in the league?

Long enough attention span for a Stephen Bissette blu-ray extra (aldo), Thursday, 26 August 2021 20:30 (four months ago) link

yeah he is! Although I think Mitrovic will probably get more by the end of season it's an impressive tally by this stage.

calzino, Friday, 27 August 2021 00:00 (four months ago) link

Just caught up on this week's Cup fixtures and you were pretty unlucky against Everton.

Long enough attention span for a Stephen Bissette blu-ray extra (aldo), Friday, 27 August 2021 06:59 (four months ago) link

yeah very unlucky in having a goal ruled out and Sinani missing a sitter and then Lees getting subbed for Turton was not a good idea, he looks out of his depth against championship sides never mind Everton. The defence has become more settled with the so far very impressive Nicholls in goal. Most people had very low expectations for a keeper who was let go by the MK Dongs and so did I tbh!

calzino, Friday, 27 August 2021 07:57 (four months ago) link

if you don't put Naby up front at some point this season you're cowards

he ain't perfect but fuck me he's a rheillee (imago), Friday, 27 August 2021 09:05 (four months ago) link

You must have enjoyed Vieira picking a strong line up to try and get some confidence going then getting gubbed anyway.

since you are a big fan of adult websites (Bananaman Begins), Friday, 27 August 2021 09:12 (four months ago) link

I didn't even notice! Too busy refreshing Charlton Life repeatedly to see if we've signed a left-back yet (we haven't, but we HAVE secured one of Rob Lee's sons on a season loan)

he ain't perfect but fuck me he's a rheillee (imago), Friday, 27 August 2021 09:14 (four months ago) link

My interest in the Carabao is comparable to my club's tbh, and it was good of crisp to not come a-gloating after round 1, realising just how meaningless his boys' 1-0 at ours truly was

he ain't perfect but fuck me he's a rheillee (imago), Friday, 27 August 2021 09:15 (four months ago) link

The fact that its such a shit noddy competition makes it even more annoying we haven't won it tbh

since you are a big fan of adult websites (Bananaman Begins), Friday, 27 August 2021 09:27 (four months ago) link

lol good old Noddy Sarr, man. He'll probably still easily score more than Rhodes with the kind of deliveries Sorbz puts in the box. He can do an absolute howler and then follow it up with a goal and a heroic perfectly timed game saving tackle in the space of 2 mins. But saying that if he didn't frequently make these mistakes he'd be at Barca!

calzino, Friday, 27 August 2021 10:58 (four months ago) link

my new hero Sorba Thomas ripping up teams every game. A goalkeeper where you don't have to look away every time the ball goes into the box. This is actually becoming entertaining to watch for the first time since 2017.

calzino, Saturday, 28 August 2021 17:33 (four months ago) link

⚽️
🅰️🅰️@SorbaThomas was at the centre of everything good @htafc did today#EFLonQuest - Saturdays at 9pm #EFL#htafc @takesthatchance @TheTerriersChat

Stream free on demand with @discoveryplusUK: https://t.co/5BVoLl5xim pic.twitter.com/2YlYiuiQvq

— Quest (@QuestTV) August 28, 2021

Sorba Thomas!!!

calzino, Saturday, 28 August 2021 22:38 (four months ago) link

on Quest

calzino, Saturday, 28 August 2021 22:38 (four months ago) link

some very dodgy business going down at Reading. They are under a transfer embargo and Chelsea have loaned them Drinkwater and Rahman whose wages put together would almost equal their entire wage bill from last season. Apparently there are some links with the owners as well.

calzino, Monday, 30 August 2021 20:13 (four months ago) link

Saido Berahino has joined Wednesday on a permanent deal. I'm sure he used to be good!

calzino, Tuesday, 31 August 2021 15:38 (four months ago) link

now Andy Carroll in talks with Reading. Siri, explain to me in very simple language what a transfer embargo is.

calzino, Tuesday, 31 August 2021 17:30 (four months ago) link

buzzing that we've got Mipo Odubeko on loan after watching some vids - that old classic. Apparently we bid £2m and were told not a chance. Some West Ham fans don't seem happy he has been farmed out as their only outright 9 is Antonio. He's only 18 but so is Colwill and he's improved our defence immeasurably and scored a last minute winner.

calzino, Tuesday, 31 August 2021 19:53 (four months ago) link

getting £11m waste of space Mbenza off the wage-bill and O'Brien into new contract negging and despite not spending any transfer fees, it's been the best transfer window in years.

calzino, Monday, 6 September 2021 11:39 (four months ago) link

Brilliant, Darlo win their game in hand and we go bottom.

Long enough attention span for a Stephen Bissette blu-ray extra (aldo), Tuesday, 14 September 2021 22:20 (four months ago) link

yeah it's been a terrible start

edited to reflect developments which occurred (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Tuesday, 14 September 2021 22:27 (four months ago) link

looking at the embryonic championship table I reckon those tricky trees are going to get a shellacking on saturday.

calzino, Wednesday, 15 September 2021 10:23 (four months ago) link

Chris Hughton gone, damnit I cursed it.

calzino, Thursday, 16 September 2021 13:31 (four months ago) link

We finally sign a centre half. He lasts 20 minutes before limping off, having fucked up to give them the opener.

Long enough attention span for a Stephen Bissette blu-ray extra (aldo), Saturday, 18 September 2021 14:33 (four months ago) link

How the fuck have we beaten York?

Long enough attention span for a Stephen Bissette blu-ray extra (aldo), Tuesday, 28 September 2021 20:40 (three months ago) link

Sorba Thomas stats this season (Championship Rank):

Assists | 6 (1st)
Big Chances Created | 7 (1st)
Chances Created | 33 (1st)
Accurate Crosses | 30 (1st)

just been confirmed he's in the Wales Squad to face the Czech Republic. From playing for Boreham Wood to being the backup for Gareth Bale in the space of 9 months.

calzino, Wednesday, 29 September 2021 12:43 (three months ago) link

Long enough attention span for a Stephen Bissette blu-ray extra (aldo) at 9:40 28 Sep 21
How the fuck have we beaten York?
ikr, and away too! and with Luke Haines' (not that one) head injury! though tbh York seem to have plenty of their own issues to deal with, so maybe it's more "how did we lose at home to Hereford?"

edited to reflect developments which occurred (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Wednesday, 29 September 2021 12:57 (three months ago) link

We beat York at their place last season too, when they were top of the league.

A missed penalty and then a miskick by their keeper seems to have been enough to sink them. Sounds like it was quite an open game, but only a couple of clear-cut chances each.

Long enough attention span for a Stephen Bissette blu-ray extra (aldo), Wednesday, 29 September 2021 15:13 (three months ago) link

happy for Sorba to get his first full Welsh cap. But playing him as a fullback and not letting him near the set-pieces and especially when Wilson/James were wasting them all is a criminal waste of his talent.

calzino, Tuesday, 12 October 2021 09:52 (three months ago) link

The South Wales Derby is slowly turning into a BTEC Old Firm Derby.

“London is our Capital. No Surrender”, says yer Da. pic.twitter.com/8fzlpRAQxu

— Propaganda Wales🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿⚽️ (@PropagandaWales) October 17, 2021

jesus wept.

calzino, Sunday, 17 October 2021 15:22 (three months ago) link

What's weird is all the defensive Cardiff replies, like, 'no it's not, that's only one of the teams support doing that' - what do they think happens at an Old Firm game?

Swass sticker eyes (Bananaman Begins), Tuesday, 19 October 2021 08:14 (three months ago) link

I see the 95th minute enjoyer has once again deigned to comment on the pain and suffering of the lower orders

yes I'm okay yes of course I'm okay we're gonna smash Stanley later oh yes

imago, Tuesday, 19 October 2021 10:18 (three months ago) link

it seems Adkins is at that stage where (to probably misquote Gianni Paladini in Four Year Plan) "When managers start losing games all the time, they lose their fucking minds.."

calzino, Tuesday, 19 October 2021 10:57 (three months ago) link

We have drawn four consecutive games 2-2.

Tim, Tuesday, 19 October 2021 12:06 (three months ago) link

I hate seeing Forest Green (aka the Coldplay of L2) at the top, the chairman is such a smug prick.

calzino, Tuesday, 19 October 2021 12:18 (three months ago) link

What's weird is all the defensive Cardiff replies, like, 'no it's not, that's only one of the teams support doing that' - what do they think happens at an Old Firm game?

Tricolors, Palestinian flags, Ooh ah up the 'RA, Fuck the Queen etc. (One of those is banned now tho tbf)

Starmer: "Let the children boogie, let all the children boogie." (Tom D.), Tuesday, 19 October 2021 12:24 (three months ago) link

A trip to Stroud would be class though tbf (provided we stay up ffs lol)

Much as my own trip to Lincoln last weekend was class - what a brilliant place, performance/result notwithstanding

imago, Tuesday, 19 October 2021 14:30 (three months ago) link

Oh that's darling

imago, Saturday, 30 October 2021 18:55 (two months ago) link

The kit, the goal, the whole lot

imago, Saturday, 30 October 2021 18:56 (two months ago) link

loooool quality

maybe these baps are legends (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 30 October 2021 19:44 (two months ago) link

hah! fuck Salford

calzino, Saturday, 30 October 2021 21:59 (two months ago) link

our chairman's ambulance chasing legal firm has just gone into administration. Fun times ahead no doubt.

calzino, Wednesday, 3 November 2021 10:46 (two months ago) link

Yes apparently this is what was happening on England’s largest standing terrace this evening.

Came to watch Exeter for the first time and they started singing “shoes off if you hate Argyle” pic.twitter.com/XAPbQy6hCd

— AmirafromForestGate (@Munyajiri) November 10, 2021

Tim, Wednesday, 10 November 2021 21:30 (two months ago) link

seeing your local rivals boss it can do funny things

imago, Thursday, 11 November 2021 12:15 (two months ago) link

relax daerest grecians we shall vanquish thy foe

imago, Thursday, 11 November 2021 12:15 (two months ago) link

We’ll I hope so but I’ll believe it when I see it.

Their form is a flash in the pan. It must be.

Tim, Thursday, 11 November 2021 12:49 (two months ago) link

I mean we'll hardly finish ahead of them but I reckon we're playing them at a good time - the time when the Run Of Form naturally peters out. Ipswich and Rotherham should finish 1st and 2nd, the rest sorts itself out in theory

imago, Thursday, 11 November 2021 12:51 (two months ago) link

Oh and Wigan. Yeah those 3 teams will go up tbh

imago, Thursday, 11 November 2021 12:52 (two months ago) link

plympton argula

keeping an open mind about the cia in cuba (Bananaman Begins), Friday, 12 November 2021 12:47 (two months ago) link

that's apropos of nothing, just a weird phrase that goes through my head when I see mention of the green clad historic underachievers

keeping an open mind about the cia in cuba (Bananaman Begins), Friday, 12 November 2021 12:48 (two months ago) link

Since it's Bradford day on ILX I should note that we beat them 3-0 after extra time last night, their manager is a sour ex-Argyle piece of work, but it seems we used six subs and look like being booted out of the cup as a result.

Tim, Wednesday, 17 November 2021 14:03 (two months ago) link

Would have offered to get you down on a free ticket this Saturday on an anyone-but-Argyle remit but I didn't think in time, and I also notice your lot have to serenade the Carlisle fans towards their ten-hour return journey

imago, Wednesday, 17 November 2021 14:07 (two months ago) link

Good work with the subs though, a fine flourish

imago, Wednesday, 17 November 2021 14:07 (two months ago) link

It's a nice though, thanks, but I'm not wasting any Saturdays on the Snot in any case, I'm off to see the Carlisle game.

Tim, Wednesday, 17 November 2021 14:55 (two months ago) link

"thought", that says

Tim, Wednesday, 17 November 2021 14:56 (two months ago) link

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/59320476

this is nothing compared to the time Jeremy Helan got 3 yellow cards and remained on the pitch against the bastard "massive" Wendies!

calzino, Thursday, 18 November 2021 09:27 (two months ago) link

for Wednesday against Town in a game we lost I meant!

calzino, Thursday, 18 November 2021 09:30 (two months ago) link

There were some bizarre decisions in our game on Tuesday night including a player being booked twice and staying on the field, a player continuing after being knocked out cold (he got helped to the side of the pitch then literally staggered about for the next 10 minutes) and a defensive wall being walked back 10 yards for a drop ball.

Long enough attention span for a Stephen Bissette blu-ray extra (aldo), Thursday, 18 November 2021 09:37 (two months ago) link

I don't know where I got this third yellow card from, early morning brain.

calzino, Thursday, 18 November 2021 09:58 (two months ago) link

Turns out we have to replay the match (oh good, more Mardy Adams) which I think means the FA must have found this to be pretty much entirely the fault of officials.

Tim, Thursday, 18 November 2021 13:33 (two months ago) link

Graham Poll booked Josip Simunic three times in a game at the 2006 world cup, but iirc he did brandish the red after the last one, thus preserving some of the honour of English refereeing.

True story- I bought a Croatia shirt from a charity shop with a blurry felt tip signature on it, which turned out to be Simunic's. Too bad my man is a nazi lol

who's afraid of adrian woolfe? (Bananaman Begins), Thursday, 18 November 2021 13:34 (two months ago) link

Looks like we're about to do a two mins silence on the *checks phone* 20th of November

imago, Saturday, 20 November 2021 14:56 (two months ago) link

Tim, we have delivered. They won't be going up now.

imago, Saturday, 20 November 2021 17:16 (two months ago) link

very surprisingly straightforward and comfortable 1-0 win for injury ravaged Town today. I think the way Valerien's management style was very good and effective at Barnsley and made them extremely hard to beat last season - it will conversely fall well short of what is needed at the Baggies this season. Oh what a shame!

calzino, Saturday, 20 November 2021 23:05 (two months ago) link

also a powerhouse performance by Naby was a big factor in how comfortable the win was!

calzino, Saturday, 20 November 2021 23:20 (two months ago) link

So I gather! You should maybe not drop him so often lol

imago, Saturday, 20 November 2021 23:33 (two months ago) link

We’re on a twenty game unbeaten run (roughly, depending on how you count them) without having played terribly well. We should do this more often, it’s really fun.

We’ll done on beating the slimers, Louis.

Tim, Sunday, 21 November 2021 12:58 (two months ago) link

Stoked 4 Exeter and Stroud away next season

imago, Sunday, 21 November 2021 13:11 (two months ago) link

(that wasn't sarcastic btw!)

imago, Sunday, 21 November 2021 20:28 (two months ago) link

three weeks pass...

Folks, a small update here. It’s Bradford City that this group is up for buying a revolutionising using crypto, NFTs, assorted magic beans.

Farewell, then, football. You had a good run.https://t.co/YSdIarBPjM

— tariq panja (@tariqpanja) December 16, 2021

poor Bradford City. I wouldn't wish these wankers on any club.

calzino, Thursday, 16 December 2021 16:29 (one month ago) link

Maybe they can buy Derek Adams and leave BCFC alone - Adams aside Bradford are a decent solid club AFAICT

Tim, Thursday, 16 December 2021 16:34 (one month ago) link

maybe they'll replace Adams with an AI Holo-NFT

calzino, Thursday, 16 December 2021 16:38 (one month ago) link

Holo NFT would be an absolute picture of charm and class, by comparison.

Tim, Thursday, 16 December 2021 16:40 (one month ago) link

NEWS: I can announce that I have agreed on a deal to acquire Bedford FC from their current chairman Lui.

There is a lot to cover and I will do my best in this thread. If you want to follow:
- Twitter: @realbedford
- Website: https://t.co/P51dyHXyw1

1/n pic.twitter.com/U6LPOhXwti

— Peter McLasso (@PeterMcCormack) December 16, 2021

another cryptocurrency bro buying a club, his genius strategy to get Bedford into the Prem as a bitcoin club is by simply just keeping on winning games and not losing them.

calzino, Sunday, 19 December 2021 16:43 (one month ago) link

i've run the numbers and that checks out

let's make lunch and listen to five finger death punch (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 19 December 2021 16:44 (one month ago) link

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FGuXWtdXIAU_WHh?format=jpg&name=large

heh!

calzino, Sunday, 19 December 2021 16:50 (one month ago) link

Where local teams can only tap into a local community of fans/companies to drive revenue, we have a global army of #bitcoin holders and companies who can get behind this.

calzino, Sunday, 19 December 2021 17:13 (one month ago) link

the commercial dept at my club have done us proud again. Norwich dropped betting firm BK8 as a kit sponsor after discovering the kind of degrading and sexist ad campaigns they'd been running in Asia. My club, with recent history of having an eviction/legbreaking firm with anti-GRT, pro-Trump stuff on their social media account as the one off match-kit sponsors, have made them their global betting partners for the remainder of the season.

"We have spent a lot of time speaking to BK8 in order to understand their values."

lol yeah, show me how much do values cost, Siri.

calzino, Thursday, 23 December 2021 11:12 (one month ago) link

some incredible reffing from Jeremy Simpson today. Lees is knocked unconscious by an elbow smash and Mr Magoo sees something different and plays advantage Blackpool, repeatedly looking back at the unconscious + unresponsive player on the deck. Then he books Toffolo for politely informing him of his appalling mistake. Justice was served to the donkey lashers in the end though.

calzino, Sunday, 26 December 2021 17:46 (four weeks ago) link

still in the playoffs and now our former quite wealthy bastard chairman has sacked the CEO and temporarily installed himself in his place after making noises that he'd "like to be given some problems" in the jan transfer window. Didn't see this coming.

calzino, Thursday, 30 December 2021 22:49 (three weeks ago) link

two weeks pass...

lol I thought my acc was down and Luton scored in late injury time, at which point I'd already repeated my bet.

The fucking clueless muppet who took Ipswich into L1 for the first time in 60 years is apparently going to be the new majority shareholder at Town. It could be worse but I can't see anything good coming from this.

calzino, Saturday, 15 January 2022 15:01 (one week ago) link

Wayne Rooney's Derby are gonna do this, aren't they

imago, Saturday, 15 January 2022 17:36 (one week ago) link

tbf on him adversity seems to have turned him into a real manager.

calzino, Saturday, 15 January 2022 19:21 (one week ago) link

also tbf on him he's not fucking Gary Neville

calzino, Saturday, 15 January 2022 19:24 (one week ago) link

prefers old ladies lol

Allegra do Povo (Bananaman Begins), Tuesday, 18 January 2022 11:36 (six days ago) link

https://www.mfc.co.uk/news/club-statement-derby-county

it seems Derby are deep in the shit and their inability to find a new owner is further complicated by Steve Gibson still going for £45m compensation for them depriving the Prem of everyone's fave away trip by cheating P+S rules and finishing ahead of them in a playoff spot. Oh yeah and Wycombe were tragically relegated to L1 because of their FFP breaking shenanigans as well.. lol!

calzino, Tuesday, 18 January 2022 15:24 (six days ago) link

There was that time in the prem when West Ham coughed up £20m to the relegated Blades over the Tevez business. But Middlesbrough's claim seems pretty dodgy to me. And as for Wycombe, when you get into the playoffs via the duckworth lewis method then don't complain when shit happens.

calzino, Tuesday, 18 January 2022 22:07 (six days ago) link


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