Arsenal: If you want to be spectacularly irritating and admire pretty football that never ever wins anything.
Aston Villa: If you want a young, exciting team of mostly English players with a very good and likeable manager and a chance of the big time. Also some moral high-ground for being sensibly run.
Birmingham: If you are the most boring man in the world.
Blackburn Rovers: If you don't really want to see or say anything of interest for a season.
Blackpool: If you're all about plucky underdogs and the most quotable manager in the country.
Bolton Wanderers: I can't actually think of any reason why you'd choose Bolton.
Everton: See Aston Villa above, with the added bonus of Mikel Arteta who is one of the best players in the league. Also someone needs to share Steady Mike's pain.
Fulham: More plucky underdogs, although I think you may have missed the boat on this one.
Liverpool: Officially now also plucky underdogs. This season can't be much worse than the last one.
Manchester City: If you want batshit thrills and and absolute boatload of money and the genuine possibility of potentially becoming one of the biggest clubs in the world at some point.
Newcastle United: If you like chaos, comedy, disappointment and standing in the rain bellowing with your gut hanging out.
Stoke City: If you want that periodic giantkilling feeling and don't mind not having things like attractive football or 11 players on the pitch.
Sunderland: There is no reason to bother with Sunderland.
Tottenham Hotspur: What Darragh said, they're on the up and will be exciting this season.
West Bromwich Albion: If you want to play attractive attacking football all season, get smashed and then go down.
West Ham United: Do you like chirpy cockneys, bubbles, racism and porn star barons? If so West Ham are your team.
Wigan Athletic: They might unearth one kid who'll go onto signing for Man United.
Wolverhampton: Noodle Vague will like you.
|West Ham United||0|
|West Bromwich Albion||0|
― mookieproof, Saturday, 24 June 2017 02:10 (two years ago)