Tragic Football Stories - Let us Kick Around the misshapen Jabulani that is English football right here

Oh shit, Iran scored almost immediately after I posted that.

That's the worst thing that could've happened to Syria

They'll be dancing in what remains of the streets

They didn't end up qualifying just yet, but they're into the playoffs thanks to a 94th minute equaliser.

Clyne was complete bullshit most of the times I saw him for the second half of last season, maybe he'll improve but any continued first team place is going to be largely down to a paucity of reliable options at RB for Liverpool. I dunno I like the look of Joe Gomez but I think he sees himself as a CB in the longer term.

think you missed your AA meeting, Matt:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pwBKMhZWPJ8

can't believe Mark Sampson's been sacked for nothing

you can't enjoy racist bantz anywhere these days

apparently you can have safeguarding issues but be totally safe to do your job but get sacked anyway

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2017/sep/20/mark-sampson-leave-england-womens-manager

if you didn't know the background would you have any clue what this was about?

Very confusing watching these young kids with their ball skills and exuberance. Hopefully that shiz will get knocked out of them before they make the Prem.

God why the fuck is Danny Mills paid to talk about owt?

It was the Graun that started him off as a pundit, during the '02 World Cup. And 15 years later people are still paying him, wtf!!!

well gosh, that sure is somethink

Peter Shilton
Stuart Pearce
Des Walker
Terry Butcher
Paul Parker
Mark Wright
Chris Waddle
Paul Gascoigne
Peter Beardsley
Gary Lineker
David Platt

1990 SF. is this even a good team? do any current players get in this team?

obv quite a few genuinely good players there, Gazza, Lineker, Beardsley, Waddle on his day all probably better than what we've got now, obviously Shilton better than any England keeper since. they played like shit and were hella lucky to make the semis.

I would probably put Stones in ahead of Wright, and Walker, K. in ahead of Parker.

By 1990, Shilts was not what he had been, and was looking forward to seeing his Argyle team spanked twice in the league by Exeter within a year or two.

5 defenders, 2 midfielders, 1 winger, 2 forwards is something

my first reaction was that everyone midfield and beyond is clearly better than current equivalents but figure i am now one of those old ppl who automatically thinks players from olden times were always better

Platt always mediocre and over-rated imo

haha xp I was thinking the same thing, particularly in reference to David Platt. How good a player was Platt, D.? I couldn't really tell you.

was lineker really better than kane

Lineker was just ridiculously good at scoring goals - I don't doubt HK does more work and gets more of what you young people call "assists" and whatnot.

Top scorer in Div 1 for three seasons running, IIRC, including two of those seasons for a very mediocre Leicester side. Jonesy will be along in a minute to outline his scoring ratio for Everton which I can't be bothered to google.

I think Kane is quite similar to Lineker and will end up having a similar looking career but at the moment I'd take Lineker in his pomp over Harry

I think Kane is quite similar to Lineker and will end up having a similar looking career

No English trophies until he's in his thirties?

sounds plausible

What's the point in pulling out the A-H1 balls ?

Belgium

That doesn't seem like the most convincing reason possible.

lol sorry that was not meant as a response :)

Trying to formulate an Eden Hazard joke in which England plays the role of Boss Hogg but it's not coming

not a famous english footballer but i once got hit in the nads playing footie

respect

ty

brothers in nads

ladies and gentlemen, the new England Women's team's Head Coach

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/content/dam/football/2018/01/23/Screen-Shot-2018-01-23-at-21-26-11_trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqqVzuuqpFlyLIwiB6NTmJwfSVWeZ_vEN7c6bHu2jJnT8.png?imwidth=1240

England's 23-man squad for the 2018 World Cup

Goalkeepers
Butland (Stoke), Pickford (Everton), Pope (Burnley)

Defenders
Jones (Man Utd), Cahill (Chelsea), Walker (Man City), Trippier (Tottenham), Rose (Tottenham), Alexander-Arnold (Liverpool), Young (Man Utd), Stones (Man City), Maguire (Leicester)

Midfielders
Dier (Tottenham), Henderson (Liverpool), Delph (Man City), Loftus-Cheek (Chelsea), Lingard (Man Utd), Alli (Tottenham)

Forwards
Kane (Tottenham), Rashford (Man Utd), Vardy (Leicester), Sterling (Man City), Welbeck (Arsenal)

I don't imagine too many teams will be quaking in their boots over that squad.

i feel like this shower will be no worse than some of their more feted predecessors, largely because Southgate has some modicum of tactical nous

still coming home after the group, like

there's not many of these that would make the squad for any other top 20 ranked nation

I'd still have brought Emile Heskey tbf

dunno how England will manage without the tenacious drive and enthusiasm of Wilshere

Southgate has to pray Kane keeps fit.

there is a vague air of competence about this squad/enterprise? possibly misleading. doesn't seem like an abject disaster on paper for the first time in a while anyway. expectations extremely low still, of course.

you don't have your Steven Gerrards, your John Terrys, your talismanic figures who can grab the game by the scruff of the neck and show the world exactly how terrible and overrated they are on the biggest stage. that's probably got something to do with it.

there's not many of these that would make the squad for any other top 20 ranked nation

i think a few of these lads might squeeze into the polish, peruvian, swiss, colombian or tunisian squads

i am completely suspending any sense of expectation, judgement or other critical detachment abt this england side, I'm going all in

For the nation, by the nation. The #ThreeLions’ official @FIFAWorldCup squad announcement. pic.twitter.com/YecUWPUZfJ

— England (@England) May 16, 2018

This is... something

its a good squad from whats available, decisions seem based on logic and a team/squad focus for a change

obv talent isnt good and obv press and fans mean ye'll be out asap but still.

welbeck a funny pick

Looks pretty bleak on paper once you get past the forwards. Difficult to see GK not being a massive problem again but it's not as though there's anyone else to pick.

the satisfaction here is in who he hasnt brung and why

welbeck a funny pick

Read this as 'welbeck a funny prick', thought steady on there, deems.