Nult satis nisi optimum: Phil McNulty 2011/12

Do you ever wonder what it's all about,
Why no Danny Ings,
Where is Emre Can,
Life I mean...

It's a thing of beauty, Ronan

it was a lucky grab of a bad joke after i had about 5/6 beers watching the match on what was meant to be a "quiet evening in".

That is true beauty.

Please troll McNulty until everyone's eventual demise.

https://twitter.com/philmcnulty/status/813698962360242176

all of coventry shook

cracks are forming in nult's persona

Graham Taylor will not simply be remembered for his outstanding management at places like Watford and Aston Villa where, despite his struggles with England, he proved himself an outstanding manager.

Amazing.

The double figures aggregate loss actually might have been worse and this latest last-16 exit is made even more painful by being cloaked in the feeling of an end of an era after a Champions League story that has increasingly become one of diminishing returns for Wenger and Arsenal.

http://media.gettyimages.com/photos/man-wearing-oxygen-mask-picture-id78783273?s=170667a

Pat Metheny Group - Cloaked In The Feeling Of An End Of An Era

pat murphy group

Jose Mourinho's first season at Manchester United came down to one game at Stockholm's superbly appointed Friends Arena - a game played in the shadow of tragedy but still a game that would define how and he and his team's season would be viewed.

Now this is an opportunity not to be missed. My question: "Just how good an England captain was Mike Denness?" https://t.co/nooghrfJ0u

— Phil McNulty (@philmcnulty) July 6, 2017

a perfect diamond

Chelsea must now decided whether to make that firm move or lose out on a player who has long fancied a move to Stamford Bridge.

— Phil McNulty (@philmcnulty) July 6, 2017

In the event of Romelu Lukaku deciding to stay - which he won't - Manchester United's interest is actually very good news for Everton.

— Phil McNulty (@philmcnulty) July 6, 2017

the opening lines of this from last month http://www.bbc.com/sport/football/40236480 are good

Joe Hart may just have feared the worst as Scotland's Leigh Griffiths lined up a free-kick 25 yards out - three minutes to go at Hampden Park and England protecting a slim lead.

Hart's weakness at set-pieces aimed low to his left was exposed at Euro 2016 by Gareth Bale for Wales and Iceland's Kolbeinn Sigthorsson, the 30-year-old getting hands on both but failing to prevent goals, the second of which ended England's interest in the tournament.

This time Hart was engulfed by the perfect footballing storm of a brilliant set-piece from Griffiths, a wall that did not jump and poor positioning from the goalkeeper himself, too far over to his right to be able to get near Scotland's equalizer.

Griffiths repeated the treatment to Hart's right from a free-kick three minutes later and while England snatched a 2-2 draw in this World Cup qualifier, Hart's position as undisputed first-choice goalkeeper has never been under greater threat.

Two great free-kicks no doubt - but opponents have sensed the soft underbelly in Hart's game and it will not go away.

Phil McNulty

If this football match was vinyl Atalanta are on 78rpm while Everton are not even anywhere near 33 and a third. One for the oldies there.

Atalanta are like a huge USB stick whereas Everton are a floppy disc.

Atalanta are a superneat Casio digital watch with a caluclator while Everton are not even a Half Hunter.

Atalanta are a Class 43 InterCity diesel train while Everton are a donkey pulling a wooden cart and the cart has square wheels and the donkey has tuberculosis

TBFTTMcN valuing 78s over LPs is admirably antirockist.

Atlanta are a Sumerian building site, utilising the wheel for the first time and marvelling as huge weights are moved from one place to another, Everton are the site of the Egyptian pyramids, Koeman on the sideline resembling a slavemaster beating his slaves to death as they haul rocks along with logs underneath. One for the oldies there.

Atalanta*

thought you were using the Sumerian spelling

Good work all 'round guys

Atalanta are a HEL MD photon cannon that can fire 50 to 60-kilowatt laser blasts while Everton are that bone that the monkey throws at the beginning of 2001: A Space Odyssey

lol

lmao

But there is a cold reality to consider here. If Arsenal played like this week in, week out, then they could be proclaimed as title challengers - but they don't, so they aren't.

This article bursting with hot takes could've just been summed up with the above. But Nult ploughed on last night and wrote a long read on why Spurs and Arsenal won't be champions.

Arsenal do have a quiet consistency about them at home but then images of the horror show at Liverpool, where they were lucky to only lose 4-0, invade the memory bank and title aspirations are doused in cold water.

Images invading the memory bank is a nice touch tbf

He'll grind out copy like this well after the apocalypse, I imagine.

read that absolute doggerel earlier.

"here's why arsenal and spurs won't win the league" - because man city are fucking walking it in an unprecedented fashion.

Otm.

Won't someone think of the children though? If Nult is the alpha and omega of football writing - the piece could've been three times as long and still written better by a bot, I'm fairly certain - what young lad/lass would ever pick up the trade? Why bother?

I've been getting into baseball this year, and a big plus is the writing about it. Not the dazzling stats mumbo jumbo, but solely the match reports are a breath of fresh air. It's so diverse, there are so many different (literary) forms. There's freedom and experiment in baseball writing. It seems to flourish. Where, if at all, is this (still) happening w/r/t football?

Eamon Sweeney's article on todays sunday independent on why O'Neill should stay made me chuckle a few times. There was even a good Metal Machine Music joke in there

https://www.independent.ie/sport/soccer/international-soccer/eamonn-sweeney-lets-just-keep-calm-and-carry-on-36332809.html

The Irish, as always, light years ahead of the Brits when it comes to fitba/sports writing. I enjoyed that.

Sam Allardyce is second favourite with the bookies yet he would probably adopt the same approach as O'Neill and be unlikely to do it as well.

i enjoyed that article but this is a strange statement. i'm not pushing mon out the door but big sam would be fucking perfect for this irish team. i would genuinely love to see what he'd do.

XP ito posters anyway, otm

Don't think Big Sam is perfect for any team tbh. Keep him your side of the bay. His nickname is carrying him further than life meant to.

Yeah I'd rather stick with MON than Big Sam

Brace yourselves

O'Neill is doing fine imo

If it's time for anyone to go it's Dunphy.

Yeah, Dunphy Out. I do disagree with Sweeney regarding Jack Charlton's departure. There was a lot more to it than just getting beaten by Holland in the playoffs. The infamous Harry Ramsden challenge for example and generally the rot was starting to set in

yeah that was rose-tinted spectacles for sure.

if his name was Sean Athenry you'd all be backing him for the job.

looooow lie the fields of allardyce

he did manage Limerick back in the 80s tbf

In a typically frenetic Anfield atmosphere, which boiled over in the disgraceful scenes before kick-off when Manchester City's coach was damaged, Pep Guardiola's side had been looking to take the heat out of the game.

past perfect verbiage from the scouse soccer scribe

guiltily confess that i was thinking of the multiple possible meanings of the word "coach" in context, but yes! that too!