"and can slot in at right-back if required" - close season transfer banter 2014

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BvAa9lXIgAAYJHO.png

Oh man, Koeman has some atrocious handshake technique here. 2014/15 Golden Boot Shane Long can clearly shake hands all over the park no questions asked, but Ronnie's just giving him pure lettuce. Oyy.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BvAskrFIcAEosrc.png

That's better.

Dare I say it... we're starting to look OK now, innit? Solid recruitment in our weakest positions, still hanging on to Schneiderlin, and when ranked against some of our business over the past five years the Long deal honestly isn't that terrible value (Forren, Mayuka, Osvaldo...) - he'll play, he'll run about, he probably won't score that many but he'll put in the work so others do. Hopefully.

i think he's a really good signing but prob 4m of it was hull knowing ye'd cash and needed to buy someone, anyone

id have much higher hopes for him if he was only slotting in to a team not half-gutted tbf

looks like Koeman had his hand ready for a chivalrous kiss rather than a shake

there's woody harrelson in long imo

Tbh our MO in the transfer market post-takeover has never been about finding value so much as wading in and spending whatever it takes to get the players we want. Not pleased with the idea we'll settle for £3m for Cork, tho - he's only 25, and if Schneiderlin goes he should be the one stepping in. Also, his middle names are Frank and Porteous. That kind of class does not sell for 1/7th of Dejan Lovren.

Forster
Clyne Fonte Gardos Bertrand
Schneiderlin Wanyama
Long Ward-Prowse Tadic
Pelle

Assuming Schneiderlin stays, obv, but Steven Davis will play more or less anywhere, Ramirez can, in theory, slot right in to the three, Rodriguez will be fit again one day, Gallagher's pretty promising... yeah, we'll be OK.

https://mobile.twitter.com/Unitedology/status/496411354086252545/photo/1

               forster
     clyne fonte gardos bertrand
      ward-prowse wanyama taider
          long pelle tadic

tsk got xposted doing this

no way morgan stays imo. can't really understand why cork's for sale, continuity if nothing else

Oliver Kay ‏@OliverKayTimes 17s
Tony Pulis has left Crystal Palace following disagreements over transfer policy. Official confirmation shortly. What a blow to #CPFC.

4 months holiday then save Leicester from the drop

Sherwood excitedly dusts off his gilet in anticipation

Oh please

Perfect way to start the season! Cheers Pulis, Palace might have been a hard first game if they had a manager.

first Moyes's daughter, now this. When will Zaha's reign of terror end?

what exactly are you insinuating about zaha and pulis there

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2576010/Tony-Pulis-daughter-went-school-Southampton-star-Adam-Lallana.html

‘My daughter went to school with him,’ Pulis said. ‘They know each other. He’s a lovely lad who is very level-headed. My daughter told me that Adam had gone to Southampton to join the kids there. I think they got on really well together.’

anyway this is all triffic bantz

cup of tea and a biscuit in order before settling down to visit holmesdale.net i think

This is about the odds on Pulis going, there is no story, it's a bunch a pants wetters on here panicking because someone (apparently) stuck £500 on him to leave.

Today 3.34pm

https://twitter.com/AlansAvailable

p much have to feel at this juncture that the only thing stopping malky mackay getting this gig is if i put 50 quid on it now

is it worth it, is the question

https://twitter.com/whufc_official/status/500024194605023232/photo/1

straight into greatest of all time pics thread with the lad

str8 edge remake of the fifth element wasn't going so well

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eifCeGtzQRY

summer realness right here

Ben Arfa's been cast out too. Not a good summer for fat mercurial geniuses

I do hope there's some maudlin Karen Carpenter-type shit over that Taarabt clip.

Fuck Pulis for basically gifting Arsenal three points on the first day of the season btw.

Thread title suggestions, btw?

i chucked a lazy "southampton won win the etc" out the other day, no advances since

lol gossip has qpr set to get zaha on loan now

club regulation states there must be idiot child showponies present at all times

anyway this is all triffic bantz

cup of tea and a biscuit in order before settling down to visit holmesdale.net i think

― r|t|c, Thursday, August 14, 2014 9:36 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

You want anyway CPFC BBS for full on teeth gnashing, recriminations etc...

Thread title suggestions, btw?

― Matt DC, Friday, August 15, 2014 8:53 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Eh, I came up with Representations of Dyche in the Mainstream Media a while ago, still fairly happy with that...

http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-28794627

level of detail has an "unusual details in wikipedia articles" feel to it but i appreciate the effort

Sherwood now 9/2 for Palace job. <sigh>

Newcastle defender Daryl Janmaat: DURR-il YUN-maat (-u as in cut, -y as in yes, -aa as in father)

Wow... This really is completely wrong.

Should be DE-rill ('DE' as in Demi) JAN-maat. Jan as in Jan.

Yun? ffs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HxmJZrKe-7Y

or gtfo

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BvFkKgACQAMtJSp.jpg:large

Available in the Chelsea club shop now apparently. Cunts.

LAWRO'S PREDICTION
"I see Hull having another decent season but am backing QPR to be the newly promoted side to get a win on the opening weekend."

ah it's good to be back... champions league here we come

What’s the last film you saw?
Michael Owen: It’s very boring, but I don’t watch films. I think I’ve seen about five in my life. I just can’t get into them. I do try – someone will say, ‘Watch this film, it’s great,’ and I’ll try but after half an hour, 40 minutes I can’t take it any longer.

I think that's five more than he said he had seen a few years ago.

The Interior Life of Michael Owen is a long series of ellipses

BBC says Palace are talking to Malky, hope you got in there rtc

Couldn't quite hack the waiting, so:

SOUTHAMPTON ARE STILL A BIG CLUB! The Premier League, 2014/15

first they did "Jackin' House partisans, convince a skeptic" to me now this

sky reporting we've agreed an 8m fee for fer. lovely jubbly

vg

ooh

George Caulkin @CaulkinTheTimes · 26m
Told Eduardo Vargas has agreed to join #qpr on loan from Napoli. Blow for #Safc, who were right in there for him, but he's keen on London.

George Caulkin @CaulkinTheTimes · 20m
#Safc were told that Mauricio Isla's presence at #qpr also a factor in Vargas' decision.

tell levy gtf and it's looking p alright

Blow for #Safc, who were right in there for him, but he's keen on London.

These so-called big stars are people we are supposed to be looking up to. Well, they are weak and soft. If they don't want to come because their wife wants to go shopping in London, it's a sad state of affairs.

pshhh clearly what's happening here is the chilean lads are like moths to a flame for arry bielsknapp's tactical revolution

Pretty underwhelmed about Rojo but LVG does seem desperate to get a left sided centre-back/left-back in. If we end up paying them to take Nani as well it'll be a shambles