They'll be sacrificing sheep in the streets of Karagandy tonight - Champions League 2013/14

Both City and Arsenal gonna end up with a tough draw. At least City can't get Bayern I guess.

So all the German teams and all the English teams made it. Also the worst Italian team.

Both City and Arsenal gonna end up with a tough draw. At least City can't get Bayern I guess.

― pandemic, Wednesday, 11 December 2013 21:42 (3 minutes ago)

Yeah their selection of Real, AM, Barca, PSG and BVB is a well easier... maybe... slightly... best league in the world, right? RIGHT? Right.

Think Arsenal and City would at least have a fighting chance vs psg, atleti, dortmund, barca(depending on if messi is feeling like messi). Don't think any English team would go thru vs Bayern or RM.

Utd's possible opponents: Galatasaray, Olympiakos, Schalke 04, Zenit or AC Milan.

Cunt montolivo

Napoli OUT with 12 points
Zenit IN with 6 points (and -4 gd)

Moyes gonna pull a Rafa '05. 5th place finish and CL win

Fuck. That gives me a cold sweat.

Post match interviews being like

http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/The+Basicis+of+Sportsing.+%C2%A0_2ea007_4921552.jpg

trenchant sports commentary

:-)

Celtic are currently watching Barcelona play football. I think there's a good chance we'll ship four or more goals tonight.

Sent a text saying "Record European defeat on the cards", two seconds after the first goal went in. Still, as one of my friend's girlfriend once said to him after we'd lost to Rangers 2-1 or something, "Well at least you got one".

It's the most one-sided humping I've ever seen us take. If you look at all our other games against them in the past ten years you could say that score was on the cards in every one of them - there's only so many times you can do that heroic backs to the wall throw yourself in front of everything thing before the quality beats you. Kind of amazing it took so many attempts really.

We could have scored three or four in the last ten minutes when Barca got bored of toying with us (Samaras shot off the line, good chances for Commons and Mulgrew) and it would have gone down as an end-to-end classic goalfest like all those EPL 4-3 games where no-one can defend properly.

some rubber-legged trickster cunt at 5s this week did me just like neymar did ambrose for the third goal. did not need reminding

twas that ether, that shit that make your soul burn slow

I'm losing patience with people elsewhere on the internet who seem to think a characterless humping conceded by a bizarre lineup is nothing to be concerned about. I've even encountered one zoomer who thinks Lennon put that team out to get humped on purpose as some sort of protest at how shite our signing policy is in an attempt to get Lawwell to untie his hands o_O

Can't understand why both Commons and Stokes would be benched in favour of Pukki. Apart from that and Izzy being out it was as strong a line-up as was available, I think.

nothing to be concerned about

I kind of want to agree with this, or at least not decide the world is over. No-one likes getting destroyed like that but as I said, such a destruction could easily have happened to last year's team or the team that went to Barca under Martin O'Neill and had a teenage David Marshall to thank for it not being 8-0. When you regularly have to punch above your weight and wage bill you're occasionally going to come unstuck.

In order to fix whatever it is that causes us to lose six goals we'd need to invest money in players who'd be too good for Scottish football and wouldn't want to come anyway and if they did we'd end up Sevco'd.

Flinging an unfit Adam Matthews in out of position*, dropping Mulgrew and Commons, playing Samaras who hasn't kicked his own arse all season and hoping he'll have one of his increasingly-rare good days, and playing Pukki all seemed a bit wrong to me.

It's not concerning in itself that we shipped six goals to Barcelona (it's happened to better teams than us), any more than it's just what's been coming for a long time - as you say, the only surprise is that it hasn't happened sooner. The reason it hasn't is pretty much down to boring old blood'n'snotters determination. Last night there wasn't even any visible signs of the backs-to-the-wall stuff that's brought about our best Champions League performances, and THAT is concerning, whether or not the game is meaningless on paper, you'd think we'd want to avoid getting a complete doing. I thought we were missing Scott Brown for the last few games, and then I saw what we were missing and realised it's not Scott Brown but someone who does what I think Scott Brown ought to do. Worryingly, I think we're basically missing (a) Barry Robson (type) I am also sick to the back teeth of signing prospects rather than actual players. For every time you luck out with a Wanyama, you get a Rogic or a Pukki or a Balde or a Bangura or a Lassad who either don't get played or just aren't good enough. Jury's still out on Biton, but I doubt he'll get much of a chance unless we ship out Ledley and Kayal this year. It's incredibly depressing that on the end of shipping six goals, the man of the match thread on Kerrydale Street is pretty much chock full of defenders. Our midfield and alleged strike force are dismal.

My major gripe is the lack of heart or cohesion. I genuinely have no idea what Neil Lennon's Celtic even look like or want to look like, after three years. We should be using the relative skooshiness of the SPFL just now to pick a system and work to it until we're good at it, rather than just flinging what looks on paper like the best 11 players we've got at any given time onto a pitch and hoping they have the guts or nous to do something. Something needs to give, and it's easy to say it off the back of a thumping, but I've been saying it for about two years now. Of course, the fact it was a meaningless game will mean it's easy to handwave off as a freak result and then next time we take a doing off a wee team, it'll be a freak result again, and so it'll continue. Meanwhile someone needs to boot Messrs Ledley, Brown, Kayal, Samaras and probably Stokes up the arse until the complacency disappears out of them. We were shite against Cliftonville, we were shite against Elfsborg, we were shite against Karagandy. It's not been a good year in Europe all round really.

* I like Adam Matthews, but he hasn't played in months, so to give him his return out of position against Barcelona is madness. I'd probably have either had Mulgrew at LB, or played Fisher at RB and put Lustig on the other side, but what I would do is neither here nor there.

...and breathe.

The reason it hasn't is pretty much down to boring old blood'n'snotters determination.

I want to agree but in most cases it's simply down to the keeper making more saves. The blood'n'snotters haven't stopped better teams creating chances. Barcelona have had more than six good chances against us every time they've played us.

Matthews at left back seems like a terrible idea, except that's where he played against Barcelona very successfully last season.

I'm not defending Neil Lennon here btw - I think his selections and tactics are frequently wrong and last night it looked like he couldn't even manage the motivational up 'n' at 'em stuff.

I'm hoping Biton gets a run in the team. I think him sitting deep with Ledley and Brown allowed to get forward more suits Kris Commons' game, and that's what we need given he's the only player we have with an eye for both goals and passes.

I think we've flung ourselves in about them a bit more as well as it purely being down to the keeper in recent years, I certainly mind Wanyama and Wilson getting stuck in last year. Adam Matthews was match fit when played against them last year, which made a wee bit of a difference. And he didn't have this season's shite version of Samaras in front of him for "assistance".

Cannae see Biton getting a run in the team. Cannae see anyone getting a run in the team tbh, it just seems to be make-it-up-as-we-go-along (or throw-shite-at-a-wall-and-see-what-sticks then try the same shit-flinging next week and see if that's any better/worse/different then lather, rinse, repeat). If Commons couldn't get a start ahead of Samaras last night, then my concept of earning a place in the team is shot to all fuck here.

"I certainly mind Wanyama and Wilson getting stuck in last year" - yet we'd still have lost by millions if they took their numerous chances.

From our 2-1 victory last season.

Possession
34% 66%

Shots
3 25

On target
3 14

They had 16 on target in the reverse fixture. That's a fuckload of keeper saves, like Krul vs Spurs level.

They only had 9 shots on target last night, meaning without the blood and snotter and getting in about them and all that stuff we actually restricted them to fewer chances.

OK, fair enough.

Weird how different things look when you're actually watching them from behind the sofa

Last night was worse to watch because, as you say, the effort, strategy and attitude were all wrong. The stats show how essential Forster was last season but don't show how inept and lethargic everyone in front of him was last night.

It'll be interesting to see how this pans out long term for the transfer strategy. Does one bad year mean a previously successful policy should be abandoned? Did we just get lucky with so many punts coming good at once? I anticipate Lennon attempting to force bigger transfers next summer and leaving when he can't get them.

Of the current squad I think the following are at or close to "competitive in the Champions League" level: Forster, Lustig, Van Dijk, Mulgrew, Commons. Maybe Brown and Ledley on a good day and used properly. I can't see us keeping that lot and adding quality around them.

Despite him being honking last night, I'd probably include Ambrose in the good enough category an' all. I think Ledley and Samaras will be away, if anyone will have them. I still genuinely believe Samaras can be good enough with the enormous disclaimer of "when he can be bothered", which it seems he isn't any more. When your own agent is tweeting during the match about how embarrassed he is to be watching you, you're having the very definition of a mare.

We should probably take this over to the Scottish football thread.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2ep4jrt1sc

Olympiakos ffs

Arsenal-Bayern again, yikes

Will get killed!

Mourinho clearly fixed the draw so that he gets his Drogba reunion.

RM will score at least seven goals over 2 legs vs Schalke.

city barcelona...

Shame no City-RM cos that would be a bonkers attack fest. Barca a little more circumspect.

barca playing keep ball but not doing much with it. business as usual...

Demichelis worthy of his place tonight so far. Bloody hell, I'd forgotten what a formidable breaker Mascherano can be too. Could go any which way, or 0-0.

pretty dull first half tbh

I've missed Mascherano. Thought that was quite compelling tbh. PSG tearing things up in Bayer by the sounds.

http://i.imgur.com/MqbBMDh.gif

Was outside the box I thought. Did they clear that up?

Lescott has the look of a dude who, if he played abroad, would have a big cult following here.

Ah, they just have - could've been iiuc.

it looked inside the box to me

thats two ties done and dusted tonight

Kompany not taking it too well

Vincent Kompany: "Barcelona weren't superior to us".

Roy Keane: "He's obviously tired. I'm not sure he knows what he's talking about".

i need to be absolutely clear on this:

neil lennon, resplendently redheaded against tv3's blue background, has just described zlatan's left foot screamer as having gone in

like an exorcist

pellegrini just called the ref 'not impartial' thats gonna cost him

xpost possibly a clumsy reference to how quickly the evil spirit left linda blairs body in the movie of the same name

He's got a bit of that in him

surely the best use would be a dive reference to fr karras at the end idk