Tragic Football Stories - Let us Kick Around the misshapen Jabulani that is English football right here

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ho ho looking at the top rated English players in the Prem for the last couple of years based on their 'whoscored' rating throws up some truly tragic potential England elevens. Crouch being the top rated English striker from last season does make me ponder whether there is any value in what WhoScored does tbh.

http://www.whoscored.com/Blog/nmya1tsyyem7vi5oeflrla/Show/League-Focus-Performances-of-Englishmen-Up-From-Last-Season

pandemic, Thursday, 10 October 2013 20:55 (twelve years ago)

the Liverpool crest looks awful in miniature

Ismael Klata, Thursday, 10 October 2013 21:07 (twelve years ago)

fucking gerrard

imago, Friday, 11 October 2013 19:24 (twelve years ago)

fucking gerrard

― imago, Friday, October 11, 2013 7:24 PM (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

imago, Friday, 11 October 2013 19:37 (twelve years ago)

i would add that, in Gerrard's defence, he can't help being as shit as he is now, and he didn't pick himself for this crucial World Cup qualifier.

I like to tackle hard and am crazy (Noodle Vague), Friday, 11 October 2013 19:38 (twelve years ago)

didn't he?

Number None, Friday, 11 October 2013 19:39 (twelve years ago)

He texted Redknapp and told him to pick him.

Matt DC, Friday, 11 October 2013 19:40 (twelve years ago)

that was shit from Rooney

Number None, Friday, 11 October 2013 19:40 (twelve years ago)

i dunno, i don't think Hodgson is in thrall to the usual suspects like some previous managers, i just think he's got no fucking imagination.

I like to tackle hard and am crazy (Noodle Vague), Friday, 11 October 2013 19:40 (twelve years ago)

Also there's only Wilshere and Cleverley to play there anyway.

Matt DC, Friday, 11 October 2013 19:47 (twelve years ago)

carrick ffs

imago, Friday, 11 October 2013 19:47 (twelve years ago)

pretty sure England's Englishest Englishman Jacques Houillecherre wd've been a better bet than the wheezing corpse of Stevie Me

I like to tackle hard and am crazy (Noodle Vague), Friday, 11 October 2013 19:48 (twelve years ago)

^this too

imago, Friday, 11 October 2013 19:48 (twelve years ago)

Keep forgetting about Carrick.

Matt DC, Friday, 11 October 2013 19:55 (twelve years ago)

Fabian Delph highest rated midfielder in the league iirc

Third Rate Zoo Keepers With Tenth Rate Minds (Windsor Davies), Friday, 11 October 2013 19:58 (twelve years ago)

poor sweet forgotten thudd

imago, Friday, 11 October 2013 20:00 (twelve years ago)

carrick though ffs

imago, Friday, 11 October 2013 20:00 (twelve years ago)

*hush descends over ILX*

imago, Friday, 11 October 2013 20:05 (twelve years ago)

kyle walker suspended :)

imago, Friday, 11 October 2013 20:09 (twelve years ago)

phil jones or chris smalling :(

JENKS

imago, Friday, 11 October 2013 20:10 (twelve years ago)

fuck off gerrard

imago, Friday, 11 October 2013 20:11 (twelve years ago)

don't celebrate that you cunts

Number None, Friday, 11 October 2013 20:17 (twelve years ago)

Carrick!

Hamburglar's smiling too (Nasty, Brutish & Short), Friday, 11 October 2013 20:20 (twelve years ago)

Jacques Houillecherre

Ça m'a fait glousser

The normative power of the factual (Michael White), Friday, 11 October 2013 20:26 (twelve years ago)

Should be Huilechère, though so you retain the 'l' sounds (otherwise it we sound out wee-ye-sherr)

The normative power of the factual (Michael White), Friday, 11 October 2013 20:28 (twelve years ago)

yeah, i was mixing him up with Dani Houellebecq in my head

I like to tackle hard and am crazy (Noodle Vague), Friday, 11 October 2013 20:30 (twelve years ago)

ah, there's the shite Rooney chip. You can see them coming a mile away

Number None, Friday, 11 October 2013 20:32 (twelve years ago)

http://i.minus.com/i3tRHKKvlRLyR.gif

Number None, Tuesday, 15 October 2013 20:23 (twelve years ago)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/2641675.stm

r|t|c, Wednesday, 16 October 2013 11:00 (twelve years ago)

fucking poll that shit

HAVE YOU SEEN ME? Please don't hesitate (imago), Wednesday, 16 October 2013 11:01 (twelve years ago)

Blackburn's Martin Taylor will be there to mop up when the siblings' rivalry causes them to lose concentration.

this is the worst sentence ever written

HAVE YOU SEEN ME? Please don't hesitate (imago), Wednesday, 16 October 2013 11:02 (twelve years ago)

kinda reads like the most hamfisted of satire actually. not sure what it's trying to do

HAVE YOU SEEN ME? Please don't hesitate (imago), Wednesday, 16 October 2013 11:04 (twelve years ago)

Gerrard as the lone centre mid in there is terrifying me even now, and it's not like i care

footballer of the future (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 16 October 2013 11:05 (twelve years ago)

it's shit but it seems kind of tongue-in-cheek?

Number None, Wednesday, 16 October 2013 11:06 (twelve years ago)

A bit weird writing that in 2003, when England actually could have won in 2004

Ismael Klata, Wednesday, 16 October 2013 11:08 (twelve years ago)

How did they manage to miss Frank Lampard in 2003?

Matt DC, Wednesday, 16 October 2013 11:09 (twelve years ago)

Also genuine lol at SWP at RB.

Matt DC, Wednesday, 16 October 2013 11:10 (twelve years ago)

xp

is that a fat joek?

footballer of the future (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 16 October 2013 11:10 (twelve years ago)

yeah i didn't really mean to point the accusing finger of outrage or anything, all fun and games reading the tea leaves

swp actually did start out as wing back under keegan, not much 'back' to it but still

r|t|c, Wednesday, 16 October 2013 11:21 (twelve years ago)

Imagine strauss booming out withine the confines of keggys ears, the sliver of light becoming a ray becoming a beam becoming a continent-enveloping solar bath in his mind's eye, as he considers the exponentialities of the concept that a player can play in two positions at once

unblog your plug (darraghmac), Wednesday, 16 October 2013 11:39 (twelve years ago)

http://imageshack.us/a/img201/6896/i6eg.jpg

Ismael Klata, Thursday, 17 October 2013 09:19 (twelve years ago)

wot

unblog your plug (darraghmac), Thursday, 17 October 2013 09:24 (twelve years ago)

"Someone leaked it and I bet 100 per cent confident that no player was offended, not one," Collymore wrote on Twitter. "If they are, do explain why. Racism is hard enough to keep on the agenda as it is without making everyone think a legitimate space tale should be a cause for offence."

r|t|c, Thursday, 17 October 2013 09:25 (twelve years ago)

@StanCollymore
Thought I'd read Roy ''story''. Biggest load of bollocks I've ever wasted 10 seconds reading. He gave a context laden tale for fucks sake.

r|t|c, Thursday, 17 October 2013 09:29 (twelve years ago)

Are England still allowed in the World Cup?

Ismael Klata, Thursday, 17 October 2013 09:33 (twelve years ago)

"legitimate space tale"

Evil Juice Box Man (LocalGarda), Thursday, 17 October 2013 09:36 (twelve years ago)

pretty much my fave phrase ever now

r|t|c, Thursday, 17 October 2013 09:37 (twelve years ago)

It's a pretty bizarre motivational tactic but this is such a dumb non-story. Suspect Lampard told his Uncle Harry who went and told The Sun. You can see the big stirring stick a mile off.

Matt DC, Thursday, 17 October 2013 09:37 (twelve years ago)

you have 15 mins at half time with 11 players you spend 12 of them trying to remember the punchline to a nasa parable and end up pointing at andros townsend and calling him an overworked monkey smdh

unblog your plug (darraghmac), Thursday, 17 October 2013 09:38 (twelve years ago)

pretty much my fave phrase ever now

otm

Legitimate space tale (LocalGarda), Thursday, 17 October 2013 09:38 (twelve years ago)


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