I SCORED A GOAL FFS

ben arfa/capote line

Ye take the goodness from everything yis bastards.

Scored a dinho vs chelsea, whacked a dropping volley in off the post and damn near replicated the letiss fc of yore, walked off pitch basically thinkin "cunts on ilf wont be havin any of it"

oh, walked did ya, look at mr fancy 'i don't need my hands to help me get form place to place' here.

from also. drunk tbf.

My mood wasnt helped by falling on my arse in conceding the winner tbf

a nicely edited video would clear all of this up

Ms mac has declined in rather choice terms to volunteer to film my glorious efforts

tmi

Open goal ffs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHadtUDaZtg&feature=youtube_gdata_player

I don't think I've ever scored a goal in 11-a-side, certainly not in adulthood, but i could count on one hand the number of games that takes in.

I play five a side most weeks. Not a prolific goal scorer, tend to lose composure anywhere near goal, but did score a satisfying side-footer from a little outside the box. One of the few times i've properly instinctively read and reacted to a cross and not just swiped the air.

That said, i do think i've improved a lot from how bad i used to be. I do have a bit of a problem with my big toe, i've done it some damage at some point in the past, so now when i toe poke with any force (or put a solid challenge in) i end up hobbling for a while. Contemplating bandaging it up to give it a little protection, otherwise goals will stay few and far between.

One of the lads broke his shoulder ffs

Downgraded to broken collarbone

You'll be glad to hear folks, i had a nightmare tonight.

clavicular fortitude

Don't believe that for a second. Commiserations to your boy.

howd it happen

He went in shoulder to shoulder with the wrong 6 ft 5 doctor, who rather sheepishly diagnosed the damage afterwards

One of my teammates did his collarbone at fives once - gentle jog towards the wall and put up his foot to spring away from it, only there was condensation on it and he slipped and just collapsed inwards like a burst bouncy castle, only really fast. Thought he was a goner tbh, it felt like a lucky escape in the end.

My worst fives injury was a cunted baw in the baws. 20 years since and the memory is still vivid.

i was messing and tripped a friend, in the park, about 15 years ago. as he fell he basically flicked a hand to jab me in the nuts, barely any contact but whatever way he connected it practically blinded me with pain.

i'd say it was a one-inch punch if someone can lock the thread now.

'the flick of the sack' was a widely respected skill in my secondary school days out west, it was always given its full title and a tone of due respect was used

Yeah, all the guys at my school spent most of Year 9 walking around between classes cupping themselves, so virulent had become the trend for the backhand flick as you passed each other in the corridor. Everywhere you looked there was weeping lads wheezing and sinking to the floor. The things kids do eh

In my idler moments I sometimes daydream about having a crack at the doucher who works at the desk opposite mine, just for old time's sake like

Ken scored a goal today. I was the schmuck who just failed to clear it off the line. We still won though.

It might help my credibility itt to note the appalling form and lack of goals the past three months

Jinking one-footed run through four men and nestled in off back of post

Left foot half volley crashed off underside of bar, in off gk's back

Good to be back

ps fell on a fellas knee and my backs fucked

I scored two goals today where the keeper got hand to the ball but couldn't keep it out. The first one made me feel good because it was a nice shot and I hadn't scored in a while. The second one was from close range and I should have put it in the corner. I felt strangely unsatisfied

I knwo a goal's a goal, but when I score one that's not that great (eg one that comes off my shin and bobbles over the line) I'm all like 'meh'. And it's not like I score a lot of goals either. I feel like I should be grateful for any goal that I get

crashed heavily on my shoulder ffs

trying to compensate getting into the shower and I cramped in three places and fell out of the actual fuckin room ffs

back like a fox

well?

met a clearance like a right footed Jody morris, 25 yds in a flash.

juggled over marker, caught on upbounce with heel to spin around another man, left foot chip over gk

just the highlights like. the few weeks off sure I'm a new man

ken played v well today

I saved a penalty ffs, ripper too

the other week i played my first game of fitba in a couple of years. didn't score a goal ffs. missed a tap-in from about a foot out. torres-esque.

ahem

last kick of an 8-0 win

four in a row through the keepers legs in a first-to-five game, cos I had to get home early

back like a fox

― is this empty sanitism (darraghmac), Thursday, 7 August 2014 22:03 (11 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Im back playing three a week but this thread will remain untroubled .... think the knee injury has robbed me of the magic ;-;

My knee is so weird. With the aid of a spectacular new knee brace, I played tonight because we were a couple of men down; I thought I'd just make up the numbers. But the brace was awesome! Scored three or four, the best of which was George Weah-esque; picked it up in our area from a defensive corner, and too, it all the way upfield before rolling it under the keeper. In 25 degree heat on AstroTurf, that was quite an effort.

― they all are afflicted with a sickness of existence (Scik Mouthy), Friday, 5 July 2013 18:32 (3 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Would take a recommendation on the brace tho pls

last night then

hour-long five a side in a game where maybe 3 of our team was lazy or incompetent, vs maybe 1 of their team. they should have scored 35. we changed keeper every two goals. my two stints in goal took up more than half the time. we won that time 11-4. my two stints out of goal were characterised by us conceding almost every shot we faced, and trust me here my outfield play wasn't the issue. to say my keeping was on fire is an understatement. but anyway, as 9pm ticked around the game was actually and miraculously tied at 16-16 after a truly bizarre scoring sequence (5-1 up, 12-6 down, 15-12 up) and the shout NEXT GOAL WINS went up. and friends, I chose THAT moment to do something I hadn't done all evening

I SCORED A GOAL FFS

(a cool gentle sidefooted half-volley into the near corner past the advancing keeper with my wrong foot)

kudos

http://iob.imgur.com/uYGg/9m3i7TGx3y

wish 5s was more of a thing in stupid canada

http://i.imgur.com/30yWKco.jpg

wow how's he going to save that tent

had to shoot from range they were camped in their own half ffs