I SCORED A GOAL FFS

like di canio volley, but from like five yards out, but still

famous goals i have emulated in my five-a-side career

rooney newcastle volley cunt
larsson diving header cunt
zola instep volley backheel flick (slight cunt)
letiss faux cunt
di canio jumped and used the other leg volley technical cunt
romario flick-around-defender slide-cunt finish
bull-toe proper cunted that one x 10000

no head-height rule in your 5 a side game?

Joy of Six: Unique Goals, or just another week for dmac

Fuckin head height rule, pshaw

Off now to ucd no doubt i'll not return without anothef tale of derring do, nominate an iconic effort for me

Is it blaes? The Vialli one.

Nothin more flash than a nutmeg left foot winner in off the post soz

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UPNgiTXTRE

Oh yeah I've scored one of those once. iirc met with raised eyebrows in response, along the lines of 'Really? You?'

http://i500.listal.com/image/2122277/500full.jpg

IK, pictured after scoring.

http://media.sabotagetimes.com/wp-content/uploads/article-1368504-0B46412D00000578-759_634x521.jpg

darraghmac, pictured every weekend.

Otm

I misses a putt ffs

http://db.tt/jCxSiWBp

twtw

I hope that's a set built specially for that mp4, and not an actual thing

"footee"

This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by American FootGolf League.

Sorry about that.

We have a surfeit of courses post-tiger, maintenance unfeasible costwise for golf, but guess what a couple hundred head of sheep and a mower for the greens and bobs yer uncle for footee.

And it was fuckin brilliant btw

twtw is evading me tbh

Ha nm

Suuuuuup

fowler windmill volley
stepover-curled-backheel round gk in off post to win it tho

I don't even know what that last one means

Hey if i could find a player on youtube to replicate it, yknow?

I'll report back when im on laptop, if yer good

jolly good imo

what if...you invented a new type of goal altogether?

dmac has quite literally moved the goalposts when it comes to goalscoring.

I'm half-convinced now that this guy's never kicked a ball in his life. The 'I Misses A Putt' video is the only proof.

lol

i am not finding anything on youtube, but this may be down my not being au fait with the terminology these kids use these days

but look, it was quite simple

running towards last defender, feint to left and flick it out to the right and beat him, ball now between me and advancing goalie a few yards out and a few yards to the right of the post, i get there first and throw my left leg over the ball so im standing directly over, leaning forward. he dives narrow towards my feet covering near post, so i drag my right foot along the ball (still moving forwards) in a backheel motion, but applying a lot of sideways spin. ball goes p much sideways behind my left foot directly around the keeper's dive and spin brings it around and nestling into the far corner. simples.

lionel mitty

sure look i can only post to the thread that's out there in front of me lads

we don't even actually see the ball being kicked in that golf thing. zapruder film my arse

back, and to the left... back, and to the left... back, and to the left...

tbh that footee thing was great craic but the greens were like fuckign deserts, roy keane would have had a thing to say

i suggets a poll of most dubious dmac goals, and i'll attempt to source sworn testimony for the top three, with a video re-enactment of the winner

NV as Skinner, at a push I can do Baddiel

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cs4OHQEe6E

d-darragh...?

aw cant see that

was forced to act out this goal on an unevenly sheepeaten lawn today, it was quite humiliating but it wont stop me telling it how it was

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wKYhgXrLRXE

cheers

nah, not able to juggle and wouldnt even have tried the turn in the corner

the actual finish was quite me tho

The opposite if a goal is the lazy underhit pass across your own defensive line that gets intercepted and then slotted home by a wily opponent.

Scored a beautiful left-footer on Monday evening during the indoor game. Weaved in from the right past three men, foot-to-foot toe-dribbling it and changing direction, before pelting it in the bottom left corner. Actually elicited verbal approval from opponents and teammates. Did piss-all else in front of goal.

Are you Adam Johnson?

wtf id be up before a jury and all he gets is the aj dimension

btw I hit the inside bottom of the post of a small goal from abt 15 yards in a kids' playground full of kids the other day, then went back to my in-depth conversation about mathematics with one of the teachers. felt strong

frolicking with the young 'un down at the all-weather pitch, I cracked a mini-ball off the inside of the post, then lashed the rebound in off the underside of the bar, and down the net with a swish. A video camera was present but not recording that passage. I was heartbroken, the soundtrack would've been *amazing*

The other month in our Friday game I recreated Platt's goal at Italia 90 from that Gazza chipped throughball, where it comes over his shoulder and he hits it first time on the volley into the corner. It was fucking amazing. But, apparently, according to the opposition, I had just edged into the goal area, which is against our 5-a-side rules. So the cunts disallowed it.

Then tonight I ran onto a throughball, swung my left peg, and had my knee collapse on me. Carried off. Out for three weeks.

three weeks isnt too bad after being carried off tbf!

Recurring injury, I know exactly how I works. Sadly.

My knee is so weird. With the aid of a spectacular new knee brace, I played tonight because we were a couple of men down; I thought I'd just make up the numbers. But the brace was awesome! Scored three or four, the best of which was George Weah-esque; picked it up in our area from a defensive corner, and too, it all the way upfield before rolling it under the keeper. In 25 degree heat on AstroTurf, that was quite an effort.