"The monkeys start to squeal, lie and create conspiracy plots" - Scottish Football 2012/13

Genius.

^ first recorded use of the word genius in relation to McCulloch, I believe.

Here is an extract which someone posted on KDS yesterday (from the serialisation in the Record):

McCulloch said: “I miss playing against Celtic. The Old Firm games brought the best out of me but on some occasions the red mist came down. The worst was the 2009 League Cup Final.

“I will go back to April 16, 2008 to explain the history of what led to the incidents in that final.

“It was an SPL game. The referee was Kenny Clark. Paul Hartley caught me very late in the 15th minute and was only yellow-carded.

“He should have been given a straight red. Hartley actually broke my foot with the tackle. I didn’t realise it at the time and played on.

“Fast-forward to that final. Hartley was at it again. His challenges weren’t nasty, they were just niggly and

definitely late. I knew what he was up to but I didn’t want to risk a red card.

“As it turned out, I just couldn’t get the opportune moment.

“Completely frustrated, I eventually snapped. Twice.

“The first came at a corner and I was defending our box. He was in the vicinity and I shouted, ‘Hartley, you're getting it from me. If I don’t get you today then I’m coming to your house later’. I had totally gone.

“Stephen McManus tried to calm me down. I told him to ‘f*** off’. I repeated the threat to Hartley. He just kept quiet. I knew he wasn’t amused.

“We lost 2-0. At time-up, I sat on the grass disappointed and still raging. Walter Smith asked me if I was OK. I told him I wasn’t. He told me to calm down. I wasn’t for listening.

“I glanced over and could see them bouncing up and down as they waited to receive the trophy. That set me off.

“I made my way over. Hartley was standing beside Gordon Strachan. I challenged Hartley to a fight. I said, ‘Come on, right here and now. Let’s get it on. Down the tunnel, wherever you like’.

“Strachan stared at me in disbelief. Hartley was stunned. A few Celtic players pushed me away from him.

“I realise it’s no way for a player to react and sets a terrible example to kids. But the red mist came down and for that moment I felt like I was Rambo.

“But Paul and I laugh about it now. We were doing our SFA coaching badges together and travelled to Largs for a week together last summer.”

Old Firm games have also the Rangers star some far sweeter memories – with one of the best coming at Ibrox last season when Gers won 3-2.

And the 34-year-old revealed how he and keeper Allan McGregor slapped each other around in the dressing-room to get psyched up.

McCulloch said: “Celtic had the chance to win the title at Ibrox and before the game we were pumped up.

“Myself and McGregor kept shouting at each other to go and win the game. We stared at each other, eyeball to eyeball, and kept pushing each other like we were about to fight.

“I told him to slap me to get me even more angry and he did so with his gloves on – then I just slapped him back right in the face. We didn’t smile, we just kept on getting angrier and angrier.

“Steve Davis came over to see what was happening but he got pushed away. We were at fever pitch and we loved it.

“I played up front and was Man of the Match. The fans spurred us on. They deserved to enjoy that day more than anyone. The atmosphere was incredible, the best I’d ever heard.”

McCulloch’s favourite goal also came against Celtic and he recalled: “I scored in a 1-1 draw at Parkhead in January, 2010.

“We got a corner kick. I peeled off Gary Caldwell, charged towards the front post and headed into the bottom corner.

“I ran towards our fans because I knew my brother Wullie and nephews were in there. It was an important goal as avoiding defeat was going to see the title stay at our place.

“I’m told my dad ran out of his house on to the middle of the street to do a celebration dance.”

The mental image of him and Greegsy slapping each other in the face is just amazing.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2013/may/01/deco-fails-drug-test-brazil

Cheating wee cunt.

(this post brought to you from May 2003 in association with lasting bitterness)

“Steve Davis came over to see what was happening but he got pushed away. We were at fever pitch and we loved it.

That has got to be the gayest thing I've ever read in connection with Scottish football

nb duuretics are abused in order to accelerate weight loss no? it seems doubtful deco needed them for that purpose

nah you can use diuretics to piss out other drugs in your system quicker, so you don't fail a drugs test for something more serious

probably coke tho

Jim Spence saying on twitter that ten sfl clubs have taken legal advice on resigning to join a new league setup. Huns not amongst them.

http://sport.stv.tv/football/clubs/falkirk/223972-ten-clubs-poised-to-resign-from-the-scottish-football-league/

Accies will be one. I hope this league has no rules banning artificial pitches. We had a state of the art pitch, players thought it was great (not one player got an injury due to the surface) the whole community could use it, games werent called off due to frozen pitches and it made the club money rather than the undersoil heating that cost a bloody fortune.
(technically the pitches werent banned in SPL as the law was clubs must have undersoil heating)

I have to say though I do not like the idea of SPL 2. The league should be for all clubs under one body.

Sevco shortcut invitation imminent imo. Big gamble for SPL clubs to go along with this after fans made it clear what they thought about fast tracking them last year.

Also, fuck an artificial pitch.

fuck the spl being in charge of anything, for that matter

Hearing that Celtic are opening up one of their lounges for fans to get a pint before the games. Sodom and Gomorrah is upon us!

Hearing that Celtic are opening up one of their lounges for fans to get a pint before the games. Sodom and Gomorrah is upon us!

Saints have been doing this for years - until this season the Muirton Suite was open for season ticket holders (not particularly strongly enforced), now open for all before the game.

So long Dundee, we hardly knew ye. I'm not going to miss Bomber's weak troll attempts at mind games.

I only saw 20 minutes of Ross Co vs Celtic today. Proper pish football.

Lucky you. It was dreadful. Lennon out, etc.

Not quite, like, but this doesn't look like a group motivated to win Scottish Cup places, and I worry about the complacency setting in. Players getting weeks off to go on their holidays doesn't seem like ideal cup motivation to me. I'll be back on full "Lennon out" ranting mode if we fuck that one up though.

I might leave the country if Michael fucking Higdon wins it.

Anyone seen my passport?

:( We'll see you next year, if Scottish Football lasts that long...

Aw, forgot you were a Dundee fan. You suggesting Celtic are going to get relegated then :)

Bad luck dowd, it was always going to be tough with the lateness of the promotion decision.

Fair play though, you fought it longer than I thought you would have done. Also, looks like Bomber *might* have been right about the title deeds about Ibrox. Aspersions upthread slightly redacted.

Michael Higdon celebrates winning poty by getting wrecked and clocking someone in the Corinthian, allegedly.

http://m.bbc.co.uk/news/business-22425332

http://sport.stv.tv/football/clubs/aberdeen/224358-spl-announce-plan-for-merged-12-10-10-10-league-for-201314-season/

Merged 42 team organisation with play-offs and a pyramid of some description. No changed to 12-10-10-10 structure.

Time for the bun fight to see who runs it all.

^All this assuming of course that St Mirren or Ross County or whoever don't change their minds before the vote again.

Also assuming the SFL clubs go for it.

seems ok on first glance but need to look at it more closely. Anything is gotta be better than the current set up, spl2 and that strange split thing.

Personally id prefer 2 up 2 down and a bigger league.

I only saw 20 minutes of Ross Co vs Celtic today. Proper pish football.

Still about a 1000 times better than Liverpool v. Everton and Man. Utd v. Chelsea

It was a poor excuse for a Super Sunday.

2 up 2 down is better imo too but the play-offs generate a wee bit more income for the clubs involved, meaning more clubs get rewarded for having a decent season. I'd go with 2 down, 1 up and a 4 team play-off at every level - meaning a large of each league in involved in some kind of battle for most of the season.

I'd get rid of this bullshit allowing a 2nd bottom club to avoid relegation by playing a couple of good games after playing shite all season.

yeah thats a much better idea. far too sensible

http://u.goal.com/99200/99213_hp.jpg

Happy Wim Day to my fellow Tims! Hard to believe it's 15 years already.

This guy knew the score:

http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/jansen-left-searching-for-clues-1246019.html

The mention of Pierre van Hooijdonk, Paolo Di Canio and Jorge Cadete before a game was enough a year ago to raise the roof in anticipation. On Saturday, Henrik Larsson and Regi Blinker hardly registered in the approval stakes. Of the two, Blinker appeared the more capable of causing defenses problems. The former Sheffield Wednesday player showed an exemplary first touch but frequently lacked an outlet when closed down. Larsson's poor touch too often saw him lose possession. The blunt truth is he is not a proven goalscorer and Jock Brown, the general manager, will have to add fire power to the team.

(McKinney's wiki page is a treat btw)

cheeeeerrriiooooooo ten in a row!

http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01060/SNA097314-380_1060610a.jpg

That was some day. That was my last season of not having my own season ticket - was sharing with my brother and he went to that one :( I was drinking strawberry flavoured Baileys (don't ask) - the BBC went over to the end of the game live and showed the celebrations etc on whatever the equivalent of Sportscene Final Score was, and I made my flatmates turn over our only telly having been in my room glued to the radio until that point - and spent the evening breaking out into random little jigs in the Halt Bar to the amusement of said flatmates. Weird and happy days!

Wait until later this month when it's happy 10-years-since-Seville day ;_;

(PS aye, some glorious mentalism afoot on McKinney's Wiki page)

Hearts in the shit again: http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/22560806

And shamelessly nicked off Kerrydale Street in tribute:

Once upon a time they were copying huns
Now they're only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total collapse of the Hearts

It's a bizarre situation. The SPL is taking legal advice on its own rule book that was redrafted after the last insolvency event! Hearts need to get their last game played on Sunday before the SPL pulls its legal finger out in order to stay up.

Yet again, let's hope no-one has any piss-ups requiring organised in any breweries any time soon.

I wonder if Bomber Brown would campaign to keep Hearts in the SPL for the good of the game.

Hmmm, an interesting dilemma to be sure.

If Dundee go down and Hearts liquidise in the summer a repeat of last year's shenanigans will see Morton promoted at the last minute with an even worse squad than Dundee had.

Is it bad that I can't bring myself to care about any of this at all?
My interest in football and especially Scottish football is at an all time low.

ach ye only need another handful of insolvencies and Raith are right up with the football elite :)

will see Morton promoted at the last minute with an even worse squad than Dundee had.

Which will make the Morton v. St Mirren the leading derby game in Scotland next season, Scottish football is most definitely in trouble

Celtic vs Partick shrly

Oh how could I forget the Jags!

Will Morton have to resurrect the plan to groundshare with St Mirren if they go up? Oh the humanity hilarity!

Fuckin hell, radio scotland has not been fun for this hungover jambo today. Can't see us coming out of this one unscathed.

Did they have any news or was it all speculation?

I tuned in and out (puking) but everything i heard was the latter. Sounds v possible that we might stay up this year, but start the season on -15pts, but it doesn't seem like anyone really knows anything for sure.

I'm pleased to be in the unexpected position of going into the last game of the season with something to play for and be excited about. Hope we don't do the usual Saints thing of totally buckling like we do every other time something us at stake.