"The monkeys start to squeal, lie and create conspiracy plots" - Scottish Football 2012/13

Those drunken morons in executive boxes are the worst!

So why are they allowed a pint but not me?

They shouldn't be. I dunno why they are.

I do.

Money talks?

Not just that. It's an attitude thing. The boards of clubs see the people in expensive seats and boxes and buying corporate hospitality as their kind of people are therefore not capable of being obnoxious drunken cunts.
They see the rest of us as a drunken untrustworthy underclass rabble, much like you do.

lol

Did I miss the bit in that article where it had anything to do with alcohol?

From that article: "Cops and stewards looked on as supporters sang sectarian songs and spat abuse. "

That new legislation's working well then, as the only arrests were the two Sevco fans who invaded the pitch and one person outside the stadium.

Meanwhile through the east, I give you the ferranti thistle ultras. They have to be pished.

Anyway in groundhoggier news, super soaraway sources say hearts are going bust. Club statement not exactly reassuring.

*kicks russian hat around an empty car park*

I'd heard rumours the other day that a quickie administration and CVA was being knocked together to wipe out the debt but Dundee's recent run of results has fucked it up because the point deduction (16 or 18 points iirc) would take them down.

That's really not reassuring at all, is it? Heard a wee "going into admin" whisper yesterday, but heard it so many times already that I'm running out of salt to take a pinch of.

xpost

Also, surely it'd be a 10 point deduction as per Deidco? I think the arbitrary amount to achieve the correct level of fucking-shit-up-ness is a SFL construct?

The rule changed*. It's now 10 points or a third of last season's league total, whichever's greatest.

*according to randomers I follow on twitter, I haven't actually checked the rules.

Agreed in December:

Where a Club which was a member of the League in the immediately preceding Season takes, suffers or is subject to an Insolvency Event that Club shall be deducted the greater of 10 points and one third, rounded up to the nearest whole number, of the total number of points, excluding any points deducted for any reason, gained by that Club in the League in the immediately preceding Season

http://www.scotprem.com/content/mediaassets/doc/RULES%20EFFECTIVE%203%20DECEMBER%202012.pdf

1/3 * 52 = 17.33 rounded up = 18 points = fuxored

Cheers, had missed that totally. Not like the SPL to make up new rules as they go along after events, eh?

totally otm re running out of salt. People on kickback (font of all shite, admittedly) seem to think there's something in it this time. I'm clinging to the hope that, like the whisper onimo heard, it wouldn't make sense now as means relegation which wouldn't help the club's value any if they want to flog it. OTOH, can't see it being worth anything as a going concern.

Whoever ends up in the musical chair next season (assuming there is one) I hope they stop saying "Hearts is" in their statements. I know it's grammatically correct but it sounds awful. (pedantry as avoidance tactic...)

It's an attitude thing. The boards of clubs see the people in expensive seats and boxes and buying corporate hospitality as their kind of people are therefore not capable of being obnoxious drunken cunts.

They see the rest of us as a drunken untrustworthy underclass rabble, much like you do.

I agree with this absolutely, and would have no problem with booze being sold at football grounds under the same rules as currently in hospitality (i.e. not while the actual game's on). I'd rather give Celtic my money for a pre-match pint than any of the shite pubs on Duke Street. Only problem I can foresee is the length of time it take to get a pie and a coffee at half time would mean you'd have approx one nanosecond to actually drink your half-time pint. Interested in the "lol" response from AG, do you think onimo's response is laughable (I think it's spot on), or are you laughing at yourself for buying into stereotyping?

I do have concerns that one stupid wee wank is going to get us all tarred with a jakey brush though, regardless of where (s)he bought his/her beer before mouthing off at a polis inside a stadium. However, one pished up jakey in pub/club/at a gig/at T in the Park or whatever doesn't get alcohol banned for the rest of the public responsibly enjoying a beer or three in the same environment, but this ignorant pigheaded idea that all football fans are irresponsible fight-seeking alcoholics (and that irresponsible fight-seeking football-goers are all drunk) seems innate and pervasive, so it's not going to fly, is it?

Innate to some people, that should say.

Yr Manager of the Year nominations: Neil Lennon, Terry Butcher, Stuart McCall, Allan Johnston. Unlucky for Derek Adams I reckon, top six finish with a tiny wee club is a great achievement.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/22357133

Rangers manager Ally McCoist, whose side won Division Three in their first season in the bottom tier, and Alan Archibald, who led Partick Thistle to the Division One title after the late-season departure of Jackie McNamara to Dundee United, also miss out.

Lol at the idea that Sally was even in consideration!

does Manager of the Year refer only to achievements in the league? cos obv there is a disconnect between Lennon's European exploits and winning the SPL

Jackie McNamara effectively won the first division then got Dundee United into the SPL top six - I think he's maybe more deserving of inclusion than Archibald.

Neil Lennon ftw: he won the league without having any of its best players.

Yeah, that Allan Archibald mention is just o_O tbh.

Lee McCulloch's autobiography is called Simp-Lee The Best

Genius.

^ first recorded use of the word genius in relation to McCulloch, I believe.

Here is an extract which someone posted on KDS yesterday (from the serialisation in the Record):

McCulloch said: “I miss playing against Celtic. The Old Firm games brought the best out of me but on some occasions the red mist came down. The worst was the 2009 League Cup Final.

“I will go back to April 16, 2008 to explain the history of what led to the incidents in that final.

“It was an SPL game. The referee was Kenny Clark. Paul Hartley caught me very late in the 15th minute and was only yellow-carded.

“He should have been given a straight red. Hartley actually broke my foot with the tackle. I didn’t realise it at the time and played on.

“Fast-forward to that final. Hartley was at it again. His challenges weren’t nasty, they were just niggly and

definitely late. I knew what he was up to but I didn’t want to risk a red card.

“As it turned out, I just couldn’t get the opportune moment.

“Completely frustrated, I eventually snapped. Twice.

“The first came at a corner and I was defending our box. He was in the vicinity and I shouted, ‘Hartley, you're getting it from me. If I don’t get you today then I’m coming to your house later’. I had totally gone.

“Stephen McManus tried to calm me down. I told him to ‘f*** off’. I repeated the threat to Hartley. He just kept quiet. I knew he wasn’t amused.

“We lost 2-0. At time-up, I sat on the grass disappointed and still raging. Walter Smith asked me if I was OK. I told him I wasn’t. He told me to calm down. I wasn’t for listening.

“I glanced over and could see them bouncing up and down as they waited to receive the trophy. That set me off.

“I made my way over. Hartley was standing beside Gordon Strachan. I challenged Hartley to a fight. I said, ‘Come on, right here and now. Let’s get it on. Down the tunnel, wherever you like’.

“Strachan stared at me in disbelief. Hartley was stunned. A few Celtic players pushed me away from him.

“I realise it’s no way for a player to react and sets a terrible example to kids. But the red mist came down and for that moment I felt like I was Rambo.

“But Paul and I laugh about it now. We were doing our SFA coaching badges together and travelled to Largs for a week together last summer.”

Old Firm games have also the Rangers star some far sweeter memories – with one of the best coming at Ibrox last season when Gers won 3-2.

And the 34-year-old revealed how he and keeper Allan McGregor slapped each other around in the dressing-room to get psyched up.

McCulloch said: “Celtic had the chance to win the title at Ibrox and before the game we were pumped up.

“Myself and McGregor kept shouting at each other to go and win the game. We stared at each other, eyeball to eyeball, and kept pushing each other like we were about to fight.

“I told him to slap me to get me even more angry and he did so with his gloves on – then I just slapped him back right in the face. We didn’t smile, we just kept on getting angrier and angrier.

“Steve Davis came over to see what was happening but he got pushed away. We were at fever pitch and we loved it.

“I played up front and was Man of the Match. The fans spurred us on. They deserved to enjoy that day more than anyone. The atmosphere was incredible, the best I’d ever heard.”

McCulloch’s favourite goal also came against Celtic and he recalled: “I scored in a 1-1 draw at Parkhead in January, 2010.

“We got a corner kick. I peeled off Gary Caldwell, charged towards the front post and headed into the bottom corner.

“I ran towards our fans because I knew my brother Wullie and nephews were in there. It was an important goal as avoiding defeat was going to see the title stay at our place.

“I’m told my dad ran out of his house on to the middle of the street to do a celebration dance.”

The mental image of him and Greegsy slapping each other in the face is just amazing.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2013/may/01/deco-fails-drug-test-brazil

Cheating wee cunt.

(this post brought to you from May 2003 in association with lasting bitterness)

“Steve Davis came over to see what was happening but he got pushed away. We were at fever pitch and we loved it.

That has got to be the gayest thing I've ever read in connection with Scottish football

nb duuretics are abused in order to accelerate weight loss no? it seems doubtful deco needed them for that purpose

nah you can use diuretics to piss out other drugs in your system quicker, so you don't fail a drugs test for something more serious

probably coke tho

Jim Spence saying on twitter that ten sfl clubs have taken legal advice on resigning to join a new league setup. Huns not amongst them.

http://sport.stv.tv/football/clubs/falkirk/223972-ten-clubs-poised-to-resign-from-the-scottish-football-league/

Accies will be one. I hope this league has no rules banning artificial pitches. We had a state of the art pitch, players thought it was great (not one player got an injury due to the surface) the whole community could use it, games werent called off due to frozen pitches and it made the club money rather than the undersoil heating that cost a bloody fortune.
(technically the pitches werent banned in SPL as the law was clubs must have undersoil heating)

I have to say though I do not like the idea of SPL 2. The league should be for all clubs under one body.

Sevco shortcut invitation imminent imo. Big gamble for SPL clubs to go along with this after fans made it clear what they thought about fast tracking them last year.

Also, fuck an artificial pitch.

fuck the spl being in charge of anything, for that matter

Hearing that Celtic are opening up one of their lounges for fans to get a pint before the games. Sodom and Gomorrah is upon us!

Hearing that Celtic are opening up one of their lounges for fans to get a pint before the games. Sodom and Gomorrah is upon us!

Saints have been doing this for years - until this season the Muirton Suite was open for season ticket holders (not particularly strongly enforced), now open for all before the game.

So long Dundee, we hardly knew ye. I'm not going to miss Bomber's weak troll attempts at mind games.

I only saw 20 minutes of Ross Co vs Celtic today. Proper pish football.

Lucky you. It was dreadful. Lennon out, etc.

Not quite, like, but this doesn't look like a group motivated to win Scottish Cup places, and I worry about the complacency setting in. Players getting weeks off to go on their holidays doesn't seem like ideal cup motivation to me. I'll be back on full "Lennon out" ranting mode if we fuck that one up though.

I might leave the country if Michael fucking Higdon wins it.

Anyone seen my passport?

:( We'll see you next year, if Scottish Football lasts that long...

Aw, forgot you were a Dundee fan. You suggesting Celtic are going to get relegated then :)

Bad luck dowd, it was always going to be tough with the lateness of the promotion decision.

Fair play though, you fought it longer than I thought you would have done. Also, looks like Bomber *might* have been right about the title deeds about Ibrox. Aspersions upthread slightly redacted.