The Wisdom of Gaffers

Today will end and tomorrow will begin

David Flitcroft, Barnsley, April 2013.

We were defragmented

David Flitcroft, Barnsley, April 2013

You could easily market a small book of Ian Holloway's pearls

“He’s six foot something, fit as a flea, good looking – he’s got to have something wrong with him. Hopefully he’s hung like a hamster – That would make us all feel better. Having said that, me missus has got a pet hamster at home, and his cock’s massive.” - On Ronaldo

btw out of 92 clubs in the football league, 56 have appointed at least one new manager since the start of the season

An equaliser from Aldershot with all their fans, I think other teams would have crumbled. Not this Wycombe, not my Wycombe.

People are probably looking at things saying 'Wycombe have nothing to play for'. How wrong they are going to be because we have everything to play for.

Gareth Ainsworth, Wycombe Wanderers, April 2013.

It's actually quite easy to try and run around when you're 1-0 down.

Kevin MacDonald, Swindon Town, April 2013.

<3 wild thing

Watching the FLS last night - parade of crop-haired managers in shirt and tie...and then, at the end, there's Deadbeat Gareth

(xp gareth ainsworth's pretty great too)

DEADBEAT GARETH HOW DARE YOU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69WBKAAZR_I

a legend for all to see

Think of this as retribution for yesterday's brazen revisionism

i dunno what ur even so faux-narked about bruv, he was out of our league within months of the ungrasped possiblity

every qpr fan will tell you of the alternate universe where we remained a well-managed club punching above our weight with a plucky mixture of the charlton and leicester premiership sides

even now i still make little lists of lower league ruff diamonds i know we'll inevitably sign washed-up prem reserves in lieu of

As long as you don't plunder Chris Solly over the summer, like

My attitude has always been to keep calm, carry on and take it one game at a time. That's been my attitude since 1 November.

Mick McCarthy, Ipswich, April 2013.

I suppose across the board when you first introduce something new the fair/unfair scenario has to get sorted out somewhere along the line to find out how you have to tweak it to make it better

Sam Allardyce, West Ham United, April 2013.

"Your Highway Code will tell you that when you travel at 60mph it will take 300 yards to stop, so when Andy's travelling at 15mph…"

All of them are must-win games, but obviously I don't expect to win all of them.

martin allen there. need to find a transcript.

We have two more games to go, and we need to have a scotch, go to sleep and forget about it.

Paul Ince, Blackpool, April 2013

It's more difficult than you think - you've got a crowd expecting, you've got an opposition who are the market leaders and I knew Malky (Mackay) would go hard and their team wouldn't just back off.

Sean Dyche, Burnley, April 2013.

market leaders

is dyche a mgmt theory dude

We need to tweak the nose of fear and stick an ice cube down the vest of terror.

Ian Holloway, Crystal Palace, April 2013.

Dyche later congratulates Mackay, his players, his staff and his 'troops'.

It was probably honours even in terms of playing and result and we shouldn't have even bothered; I'd have taken a point before we started. Instead of kicking lumps out of each other, we could've just settled it.

Mick McCarthy, Ipswich Town, April 2013.

Great credit to the players because coming in to this game it was another must win but it was one that if we don't approach it in the right manner you could get heavily criticised and heavily defeated here.

Brian Laws, Scunthorpe United, April 2013.

There's all sorts of gaps between us and the winning level

Graham Westley, Stevenage, April 2013

To get booed off at the end was brilliant. It makes me feel so good because it's testament to how far we've come.

Kenny Shiels, Kilmarnock, April 2013

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2316032/Jeremy-Kyle-gives-team-talk-Southend-United.html

Persistence is omnipotent and it's important that when we make mistakes - which we did for their equaliser - we play it out from the back

Kenny Shiels, Kilmarnock, June 2011

I am sure there are people at every club who doubt everybody. There are people that are doubters and there are people who believe in you and have faith in you and support that faith. The most important person to believe in what you are doing is yourself and, without that, it doesn't matter if someone else believes in you.

Kenny Shiels, Kilmarnock, March 2012

What do people like in other people? They like mirror images. They like to say, 'He's not a bad lad, he takes a drink. He's not a bad lad, he's a Jack The Lad'.

Kenny Shiels, Kilmarnock, March 2012

We have two red squirrels on our badge. The grey squirrel carries a virus that kills the red squirrel. Celtic are playing in grey on Sunday.

Kenny Shiels, Kilmarnock, March 2012

Mission Impossible can only be achieved by special people

Congratulations DAVID FLITCROFT, Barnsley, May 2013, indisputably ILF Manager Of The Season

Unfortunately, it's about scoring goals

Nigel Adkins, Reading, May 2013.

haaaa

We'll correct the divisional status

Roberto Martinez, Wigan Athletic, May 2013.

clipped tones of an ex military man who now works as a 'security consultant' and not even his wife asks

they will. come the first of june.

He can keep on going as long as he can.

Ian Holloway, Crystal Palace, May 2013.

sometimes you make good sound decisions and sometimes with hindsight they are completely wrong

Mark Hughes, Stoke City, June 2013

What do people like in other people? They like mirror images. They like to say, 'He's not a bad lad, he takes a drink. He's not a bad lad, he's a Jack The Lad'.

since he's now sacked I just want to say I read this quote over and over. it's like some sort of casual philosophy the like of which i've never seen.

In his post-firing interview, he's still wearing his Kilmarnock tracksuit top. I don't know what to make of this.

I feel he could help solidify us out of possession.

Tony Mowbray, Middlesbrough, June 2013

He's grown up and become a bloke.

Gary Johnson, Yeovil Town, July 2013.

I'm sure, with the passion of our supporters, that he will respond on the big stage called Priestfield.

Martin Allen, Gillingham, July 2013.

_He's grown up and become a bloke._

Gary Johnson, Yeovil Town, July 2013.

think this might be my favourite - a touch of the fairy story about it.

in tears

he's objectively the worst htafc manager I've seen in my lifetime. I won't go too far into it because it would be a very fucking tedious and long post. Short version: extremely thick, tactically clueless - does pointless like for like subs when a game is desperately needing a change, constantly throws players under the bus publicly and more frequently the younger ones. But this is worst bit, he talks absolute garbage but aggressively adds "Listen!" too every sentence! Also even lots of people outside of the world of online HTAFC fans are starting to notice how extremely deranged + embarrassing his post-match pressers are, without fail every week it's like he's commenting from a parallel universe about a completely different match and some of the football podcasts have picked up on this and even they have noticed how bizarre it is that this inconsequential moron is managing in the 2nd tier of english football

https://c8.alamy.com/comp/EXRCDD/1990s-uk-miller-magazine-advert-EXRCDD.jpg

"I take it that's the Kenny Miller?"

unfortunately, yes

“I think the vegan food is quite nice – I enjoy it. Chips are vegan, I didn’t know that. It is a worry with the planet. It is a shame what is happening: you can see it is happening and we are all starting to be aware of it. What is going to happen to our kids and grandkids? It’s real. The club has been great, it is fantastic what they are doing. Other clubs should be taking it up. I had a wee bit of vegan curry, a wee pie and mash today. I haven’t tried the burger yet. I might try one on Saturday if we get a victory.” Duncan Ferguson

i was wondering how that was panning out :D

“So yes, I missed out on a couple of good players early on in the summer, but I’ve always been a massive believer as a manager in fate, and when a player tells me they’re going somewhere else I always say to them ‘well it’s your mistake, son, you’ve missed out there’, and that’s how I feel. I don’t dwell on it, I always just think ‘well, something will happen, they’ll get injured or something’. I just get on with what I’ve got and try not to moan about it too much.”

the sageness + serenity of Neil Warnock

Bear with me with this one but it's something I've often thought about it. Managers (and players too now) often refer to "moments" when talking about games but I'm pretty sure this wasn't a part of gaffer vocab until the advent of non-English speaking managers and players into the English/British game, and it still sounds kind of weird coming out of the mouth of, say, Sean Dyche rather than Arsene Wenger. I want to say it was Dutch players who I first noticed doing this but can't be certain.

Not quite the thread but

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2025/jul/18/sam-allardyce-mystery-mural-dudley-former-england-managers

Cardiff lost 5-0 and were relegated that season when a controversial 2-1 defeat by Chelsea hastened their demise in May 2019. “It’s a lonely job, being a manager,” Warnock says. “I felt very lonely at times and probably the loneliest was at Cardiff when Chelsea got a goal that should have been disallowed for three yards offside. I knew that would relegate us. The dressing room was desolate because the lads had given me absolutely everything. I can tell you now the linesman was Ed Smart and Craig Pawson refereeing. I can see it as if it were yesterday. I’ll be looking at that on my grave.

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2025/aug/01/neil-warnock-interview-manager-pep-guardiola-alex-ferguson-virgil-van-dijk

RIP Kenny Jackett.