I SCORED A GOAL FFS

i smashed in a screamer (5 a side) a few weeks back, i kicked it and it flew straight as an arrow to the top corner (of the tiny goal). Looked amazing

now whenever i get the ball i just try to cunt it the same way. think this is how gareth bale/gerrard/ronaldo etc got started with their irresponsible cunting.

bad willed cunting

night of the cunter

lol at faux-cunt

night of the cunter

― Ballboy to Afghanistan (LocalGarda), Wednesday, 6 February 2013 16:07 (2 hours ago) Bookmark

lord, save the little goalies. they abide... they abide and they endure

fuxing ankle got me srsly considering retirement :/

scored goals since but you wont want to hear about them like

Scored a hat trick the other day for the first time in months :)

Should hat-trick be hyphenated or is it two words?

Hat trick
Hat-trick
Hattrick

One word imo. You can slip an extra 't' in there without being too conspicuous.

like di canio volley, but from like five yards out, but still

famous goals i have emulated in my five-a-side career

rooney newcastle volley cunt
larsson diving header cunt
zola instep volley backheel flick (slight cunt)
letiss faux cunt
di canio jumped and used the other leg volley technical cunt
romario flick-around-defender slide-cunt finish
bull-toe proper cunted that one x 10000

no head-height rule in your 5 a side game?

Joy of Six: Unique Goals, or just another week for dmac

Fuckin head height rule, pshaw

Off now to ucd no doubt i'll not return without anothef tale of derring do, nominate an iconic effort for me

Is it blaes? The Vialli one.

Nothin more flash than a nutmeg left foot winner in off the post soz

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UPNgiTXTRE

Oh yeah I've scored one of those once. iirc met with raised eyebrows in response, along the lines of 'Really? You?'

http://i500.listal.com/image/2122277/500full.jpg

IK, pictured after scoring.

http://media.sabotagetimes.com/wp-content/uploads/article-1368504-0B46412D00000578-759_634x521.jpg

darraghmac, pictured every weekend.

Otm

I misses a putt ffs

http://db.tt/jCxSiWBp

twtw

I hope that's a set built specially for that mp4, and not an actual thing

"footee"

This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by American FootGolf League.

Sorry about that.

We have a surfeit of courses post-tiger, maintenance unfeasible costwise for golf, but guess what a couple hundred head of sheep and a mower for the greens and bobs yer uncle for footee.

And it was fuckin brilliant btw

twtw is evading me tbh

Ha nm

Suuuuuup

fowler windmill volley
stepover-curled-backheel round gk in off post to win it tho

I don't even know what that last one means

Hey if i could find a player on youtube to replicate it, yknow?

I'll report back when im on laptop, if yer good

jolly good imo

what if...you invented a new type of goal altogether?

dmac has quite literally moved the goalposts when it comes to goalscoring.

I'm half-convinced now that this guy's never kicked a ball in his life. The 'I Misses A Putt' video is the only proof.

lol

i am not finding anything on youtube, but this may be down my not being au fait with the terminology these kids use these days

but look, it was quite simple

running towards last defender, feint to left and flick it out to the right and beat him, ball now between me and advancing goalie a few yards out and a few yards to the right of the post, i get there first and throw my left leg over the ball so im standing directly over, leaning forward. he dives narrow towards my feet covering near post, so i drag my right foot along the ball (still moving forwards) in a backheel motion, but applying a lot of sideways spin. ball goes p much sideways behind my left foot directly around the keeper's dive and spin brings it around and nestling into the far corner. simples.

lionel mitty

sure look i can only post to the thread that's out there in front of me lads

we don't even actually see the ball being kicked in that golf thing. zapruder film my arse

back, and to the left... back, and to the left... back, and to the left...

tbh that footee thing was great craic but the greens were like fuckign deserts, roy keane would have had a thing to say

i suggets a poll of most dubious dmac goals, and i'll attempt to source sworn testimony for the top three, with a video re-enactment of the winner

NV as Skinner, at a push I can do Baddiel

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cs4OHQEe6E

d-darragh...?

aw cant see that

was forced to act out this goal on an unevenly sheepeaten lawn today, it was quite humiliating but it wont stop me telling it how it was

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wKYhgXrLRXE

cheers

nah, not able to juggle and wouldnt even have tried the turn in the corner

the actual finish was quite me tho