Footballers who really don't need to be on Twitter

haha bit of banter m8ty

Footballers who really don't need their wives to be on Twitter

Becky Doyle revealed on Twitter that her husband, Colin Doyle, and Ben Foster, his Birmingham team-mate, had arrived home late after the club's end-of-season awards ceremony on Monday night. "****** off with my husband getting in at 4am with fossy (Foster) and waking me up," Doyle posted on Twitter. "Celebrate next week when your (sic) safe. Have some respect."

was foster going back for a few games of pro ev or something?

obv his workload is lighter now he has served his time with england.

Would ask why Birmingham hold an end-of-season awards ceremony but suppose there'd just be replies about the Emirates Cup.

http://twitter.com/RavelMorrison49/status/71321933295263746

This kid is seriously stupid. He's not going to make it, is he?

In early 2011, he received a 12-month referral order and was ordered to pay £1,445 in costs and compensation after admitting two counts of witness intimidation.[8] In May of the same year Morrison appeared at Salford magistrates court and was charged with criminal damage and assaulting his girlfriend.[9]

every chance of being the next [CONTROVERSIAL SUPERINJUNCTION EDIT]

Not mutually exclusive tbf xp. What does that tweet mean anyway?

I think he was disappointed with the recipients of the awards and the entire night in general, apart from the minor consolation of his chum "tunners" winning something.

Not mutually exclusive, but he's already had two court appearances and has just slagged off his club's player of the year awards. Doesn't really look all that promising. Most players wait to go off the rails until they at least get into the first team.

Xref with 'rap lyrics written in proper english'

(xp)

P sure eighth most expensive player ever wor Andy was on dat ting even when in the reserves

raheem sterling's twitter is fairly funny...

"@HUTSPiCEmara why ave you tried 2 try n talk aloud of crap 10:06 PM May 18th via web in reply to ImaraROSE"

so many people try n talk aloud of crap?

rioferdy5 Rio Ferdinand
I'm on the UB40.....red red wiiiiiiine!! #oooff!
51 minutes ago

WayneRooney Wayne Rooney
@
@rioferdy5 don't have to much. #stayonyourfeet
40 minutes ago

mildly funny meme-usage there? And the mistake there aside Wazza generally seems surprisingly coherent and capable of spelling and such. I'll have to avoid following him so I never end up accidentally liking him.

I love ol' wazza.

he has a new head

http://yfrog.com/gznpmbtj

@Nanas08
Samir Nasri Official

@immildlyracist listen come in front of me tell me what u tweet i will show who is th c***

lol at Twitter handle "immildlyracist"

Find it hard to believe the big girl Sami Nasri could ever beat someone up.

WayneRooney Wayne Rooney
Me and Jay z chilling in Barbados yfrog.com/kjqeouj
16 Jun

http://desmond.yfrog.com/Himg739/scaled.php?tn=0&server=739&filename=qeou.jpg&xsize=640&ysize=640

WayneRooney Wayne Rooney
Haha it's a lookalike people @jiggawhat
16 Jun

i can see one similarity yes wayne

Ugh, son

If you were going to punt £12k on fake hair would you get a fake receding hairline? For that money I'd want a full head of hair.

not sure i'd go for 2 all over either

http://l.yimg.com/a/p/sp/editorial_image/f5/f5d7e0d3cc20713549dc49944112e62b/this_is_how_a_footballer_introduces_himself_to_twitter.jpg

And then:

https://twitter.com/#!/HayleyGa11agher/status/95611671795609600

Hahaha

LOL

Thanks Paul.

sandroraniere Sandro Raniere
I had my check up today with the doctor, and he said my knee getting better.

What a shit cunt: https://twitter.com/#!/Georgeporter15/status/154992549965213696

The USA international was left stunned as Wigan's then second-string keeper Floyd Croll had Howard scrambling into the back of his net with an incredible Pat Jennings-esque kick at Moss Lane in November 2005.

Croll, now plying his trade lower down the football pyramid with Isthmian League outfit AFC Sudbury, immediately took to Twitter to remind the 32-year-old of his freakish feat.

'I have scored to haven't I Mr Howard #iownyoustill'

https://twitter.com/cesc4official/statuses/156436128906477568

Georgeporter15 George Porter
Pizza express is so underated.
27 Dec

footballers who need to be on ILX

oh Szczesnypaws

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/16498907.stm

jeez louise

It has a different meaning in Poland.

Rapists obviously dress badly in Poland

Not sure a guy in an Arsenal keeper's jersey can call other people out for dressing like a rapist.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-16511735

This joker apparently said he'd have to padlock his arse if he had the bed next to Gareth Thomas in Celeb Big Brother. Stay classy, footballers on Twitter.

if nothing else this is hopefully going to contribute to a widespread understanding that ppl on Twitter who do that 'hashtag followed by several words run together' thing after every single thing they tweet are horrible thickos

twitter hashtags are the most banal thing ever and possibly the most pass/agg thing ever when they consist of #compoundphraseshighlightingenemiesnotionalfaults

― jhøshea nrq (nakhchivan), Thursday, January 5, 2012 2:37 PM (6 days ago)

RT RT RT RT

can't believe footballers aren't experts in diplomatic language

Can't believe clubs let them near public fora uncontrolled

don't they get media coaching these days

yeah

I wonder, were media coaching graded, how many of them would pass it?

if you see what i mean, like

http://www.oxfordtimes.co.uk/news/9464684.Lee_Steele_sacked_by_Oxford_City_after_Twitter_remark_about_Gareth_Thomas/?ref=mr

wow. kudos to Oxford tbh

Wish the mighty O's would sack George Porter.

That Lee Steele was the thing I failed to link to just upthread because I am not good with mobile phone cutting and pasting. Some of the reaction to it on the (usually a cut above the rest) football forum I frequent has just added to my general misanthropy.

it's the usual really simple point - if i tweeted that with my name and professional status attached to it i would almost certainly be fired, DUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHH