NFL 2013 WEEK X: instructions for when a teammate wants to shit in your mouth

Thu Nov 7 8:25 pm Washington http://images.chron.com/blogs/askacat/hatcat.JPG Minnesota Vikings
Sun Nov 10 1:00 pm Buffalo Bills Pittsburgh Steelers
Sun Nov 10 1:00 pm Cincinnati Bengals Baltimore Ravens
Sun Nov 10 1:00 pm Detroit Lions Chicago Bears
Sun Nov 10 1:00 pm Jacksonville Jaguars Tennessee Titans
Sun Nov 10 1:00 pm Oakland Raiders New York Giants
Sun Nov 10 1:00 pm Philadelphia Eagles Green Bay Packers
Sun Nov 10 1:00 pm Seattle Seahawks Atlanta Falcons
Sun Nov 10 1:00 pm St. Louis Rams Indianapolis Colts
Sun Nov 10 4:05 pm Carolina Panthers San Francisco 49ers
Sun Nov 10 4:25 pm Denver Broncos San Diego Chargers
Sun Nov 10 4:25 pm Houston Texans Arizona Cardinals
Sun Nov 10 8:30 pm Dallas Cowboys New Orleans Saints
Mon Nov 11 8:40 pm Miami Dolphins Tampa Bay Buccaneers

out of nowhere, iggles at pack has become something of a premium matchup. anything could happen in that game. LITERALLY ANYTHING.

maybe the giants will have come back from their bye having remembered how to play football. oakland is a good match up to find that out.

buffalo will probably win in 'sburgh which, y'know.

cutler supposedly starting for bears. key game but not great first start back from any kind of injury.

cowboys vs saints in the battle of who knows.

broncos in SD could be good right? not really

band of dolphin bros win s.fla. bowl

panthers maul niners? that would be cool. back on the cam wagon.

God that Falcons Seahawks game looked so good when this schedule first came out.

still can't figured out what happened to the Failcons ... injuries, obv, but talk about not living up to expectations

foles gonna throw for 50 tds this week

still can't figured out what happened to the Failcons ... injuries, obv, but talk about not living up to expectations

― Brad C., Thursday, November 7, 2013 3:08 PM (36 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Injuries and terrible line play on both sides of the ball. Thats it.

Last week 8-5, for season 92-41

Washington Minnesota Vikings- Vikings played a bit better last week, but I'm taking Washington.
Buffalo Bills Pittsburgh Steelers- This is a pickem. I'll take Steelers at home.
Cincinnati Bengals Baltimore Ravens- Big game for Cincy and B-more is waffling, but I will take Bengals.
Detroit Lions Chicago Bears- I'm going Lions as I just don't trust the Bears even with winning last week.
Jacksonville Jaguars Tennessee Titans- Titans
Oakland Raiders New York Giants- Giants
Philadelphia Eagles Green Bay Packers- This is an interesting game. I guess Eagles.
Seattle Seahawks Atlanta Falcons- Seahawks but they are playing on fumes the past few weeks.
St. Louis Rams Indianapolis Colts- Colts should win.
Carolina Panthers San Francisco 49ers- Good matchup, I'll take Niners at home.
Denver Broncos San Diego Chargers- Denver coming off bye.
Houston Texans Arizona Cardinals- Cards
Dallas Cowboys New Orleans Saints- Saints in a pinball/techmo bowl shootoout.
Miami Dolphins Tampa Bay Buccaneers- I got to think even with all that went down the Dolphins are still a much better club than Tampa. Dolphins but I'd believe it if the Bucs finally won.

You guys, is it Christmas?

that toy's gonna break before New Years

Well yeah, I'm aware of this

Still

Cowboys Saints could be absolutely hilarious. Could make the Cowboys Broncos game of a month ago look like an Ohio State Michigan game from 1977

http://m.espn.go.com/nfl/story?storyId=9944012

The 34-year-old volunteer told police Incognito had been drinking and was "acting very inappropriate towards her," and that she went to police after Incognito said he wouldn't apologize.

The report states that the volunteer told police that Incognito "used his golf club to touch her by rubbing it up against her vagina, then up her stomach then to her chest. He then used the club to knock a pair of sunglasses off the top of her head.

"After that, he proceeded to lean up against her buttocks with his private parts as if dancing, saying 'Let it rain! Let it rain!'" the report states. "He finally finished his inappropriate behavior by emptying bottled water in her face."

The story was first reported Thursday by WPLG-ABC in Miami.

jeez she could have a least handled that like man and beat him up, she doesn't get NFL culture i guess

btw i generally REALLY hate rick reilly but i thought this column was pretty great:

http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/9932209/nfl-becoming-guilty-pleasure

I dunno if I liked that column because it actually was good or because I expect so much less from Reilly

it's all true what he says, but of course the comments on it are the typical bemoaning of the "wussification" of the nfl from people who work in cubicles.

http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/9945888/most-players-survey-want-richie-incognito

ftr I posted that before looking at what the URL said

http://www.nationalfootballpost.com/Incognito-held-Oline-meetings-at-strip-club.html

i thought this was how everyone in miami held meetings

the dolphins need a player who would stop the clown show by his strong charismatic presence along, a savior if you will

I think I know what you're getting at.

It's...

TEBOW TIME.

praise be unto him

omg

please please please let that happen lolgods, I will be in your eternal debt

http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/9946248/richie-incognito-held-offensive-line-meetings-strip-club

I mean this is kind of hilarious

more like offensive offensive line meetings!!!

it can be hard to hear in strip clubs, i wonder how much of the meeting they were able to get through

I want to watch Miami play just so I can make jokes about their offensive line looking like they're setting up to receive lap dances

yeah they've got their signals so crossed that they figure they gotta lay back and let linebackers crawl all over them.

hut-hut MAKE IT RAIN

just got called for illegal use of the hands ;-)

repeat second base, I mean down

http://www.latimes.com/sports/football/nfl/la-sp-farmer-cleeland-incognito-20131108,0,1127922.column#axzz2k6AGOMgj

whew that's brutal. the breadth of player responses is really interesting to me. sorta trying to figure out if it is more a variety in the types of hazing experiences and cultures, or more a variety in the mindsets of the recipients of the hazing.

It's nauseating. I think the most successful franchises don't have a hazing culture.

Incognitos played for the rams and the fish. Nice career

Old school 49ers, the gold standard for a franchise, never pulled this shit. That guy is your teammate.

that is about as good as a rick reilly in 2013 column is gonna get

This is kinda nuts. There are 13 QBs on pace for 4000 yards passing or more. Of those 13, there are 5 qbs that are on pace for 5000 yards passing.

Heh...wow.

Geno Smith is on pace for like 3550 yards passing. Crazy.

Of course, I think it is only going to get bigger, go check out the score in your average Big 10 football game. Holy moly, really none of those teams can play defense for nothing.

I think we are at the dawning of fast break football. I'm not so sure to make the game less about hits and more about speed and execution, they could shorten the time between plays and slow down the whole substitution except on plays where the clock is stopped.

unbelievable, the 1pm game being shown here is Steelers/Bills, an almost meaningless game

hey now

;)

Been driven from my home, forced to watch ravens game at mall bar.

green bay down to their practice squad qb

everything on redzone so far has been a sack, turnover or penalty

Incognito deflected blame for many of his harsh actions against teammate Jonathan Martin during an interview with Fox Sports.

Incognito also accused Martin of using equally crass language, claiming that was the nature of their relationship.

"When words are put in a context, I understand why a lot of eyebrows get raised," Incognito told Fox Sports during the interview, which aired Sunday. "But people don't know how Jon and I communicate to one another. For instance, a week before this went down, Jonathan Martin texted me on my phone, 'I will murder your whole F'ing family.'

"Now, do I think Jonathan Martin was going to murder my family? Not one bit. He texted me that. I didn't think he was going to kill my family. I knew that was coming from a brother. I knew it was coming from a friend. I knew it was coming from a teammate."

i think the real problem with Incognito's thinking is that he somehow thinks people didn't hate him prior to all of this.

dafuq is going on in Indy?

lol Cutler. so close. neither team wants to go ahead.

Loving these ravens.

will the Jags become only the second FL team to win an NFL game this season? signs point to YES

Manning lol

Bengals are looking pretty terrible, especially on offense. P.U.!

Dalton does a lot of dumb shit

I try to console my Bengals fan friend by telling him the latest Carson Palmer stat line each week

I'm convinced that hte reason Cutler throws so many picks is because he seems to think passes should only be thrown as hard as possible into narrow gaps. then he stares in disbelief when his pass pops up in the air and gets snatched easily by a DB.

Jesus, Stafford, do you fucking hate your fans?

holy shit at that catch!

let's talk about foles

he seems pretty good to me

lol at Foles essentially matching the start of Peyton's season in his last two games. jesus.

dear lord, both Bears and Lions doing mind numbingly stupid shit

Titans safetied. this may finally be it for the Jags.

Spoke too soon.

yup!

dafuq are they throwin on first down for

ahahahahahahahahahaha wtf Fitzpatrick

wow McCown!

Jags win!

pretty sure i say this every week but indy is a weird team

― Roberto Spiralli, Monday, November 4, 2013 3:52 AM (6 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

feel like these second tier teams always seem to shit the bed when it's time to prove themselves. here we have the Bengals about to lose their second straight, Packers falling apart due to injuries, Colts on a losing streak. we may have some weakass 4-6 seeds in some Confs this year

OMFG BENGALS

O
M
G

BENGALS

how do you NOT BAT THAT DOWN, RAVENS

lol ihedigbo, amazingly dumb

that reminds me of that one hail mary that I think Shane Matthews (or Jim Miller) threw in 2001 for the Bears.

haha on the replay you can see a celebrating Ravens fan suddenly turn his head afraid to look after ihedigbo bats it upward. I want this in a GIF

home teams having a rough day this afternoon

what happened to the ravens i left the bar and now it's overtime

that...could not have gone much worse for the Bengals....hahahahaha

holy mackeral

horrible play

@brownie - they had the game won, it was two seconds left, Bengals territory, 4th and 15, and Dalton threw a hail mary towards the end zone, that was batted once, and for some reason, Ihedigbo batted it upwards rather than down, and there was a receiver standing behind him that caught it on the carom, sent it to OT>

omg

I don't think it was a bad idea to go for it on 4th and 2 necessarily, but once you realize your footwork isn't going to recover the yardage, GO THE FUCK DOWN, or at least run laterally so you're not losing forward progress.

Ravens in FG range now

wtf?

I hate how over-officiated a mere "catch" is these days. i think this stands.

no way this is over turned

thank god they're showing overtime here

wish I was seeing the damn Broncos game! hurry up!

yes!

boy the Bengals are looking like Keystone Kops the last two weeks.

hoping the Broncos defense decides to show up prior ot the playoffs

Manning is now over 3,000 yds for the year and at 32 tds. lawdie

wait, we have another opportunity for romo to throw a critical fourth quarter interception in front of a national primetime tv audience today? omg
don't let me down cowboys

sooooooooo if the playoffs were today, in the AFC, the matchups would be:

Wild Cards: NYJ at Indy, Denver at Cincy
First Round bye: Patsies, Chiefs

what a fucking weird season

This is probably crazy talk, but I think the Panthers are getting really good in the best part of the season to get really good.

Is it me or were one or two of those women who sang the anthem completely in the wrong key?

going well so far

Sproles's last run was insane.

Another player banging his head :(

"they get the onside kick.. and the next thing you know, it's fourth and 21"

that Dallas series was a magical way to start watching this game

this NO score is basically lol

yes, that was some madden shit where one player knows all the controls and the other player can't remember how to block passes

making mark ingram look like an nfl player is the most comical thing that has ever happened to the cowboys, and there is so so much competition

still leading the nfc east tho. amazing really.

well, tied now!

i imagine rob ryan is pleased

cmon saints you have time, hang 50 points on them

saints should grab ppl out of the crowd and let them take it in turns to take a handoff

still time for a romo pick six imo

This is probably crazy talk, but I think the Panthers are getting really good in the best part of the season to get really good.

― Johnny Fever, Monday, November 11, 2013 1:06 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

If Cam catches fire they can win it all

I mean, who knew DeAngelo Williams was still a good running back?

I think other than when hurt, Williams was still decent but they split up the carries quite a bit.

Rams d-line is probably the best in football this year. They made the Colts and the Seahawks look pretty bad in the past month, exposing some weak o-lines.

deangelo williams has always been a good running back imo. dude gets consistently underrated.

that was a singularly pathetic performance by the cowboys last night

grudge match KO by porthos the fat musketeer
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BYzRC03CEAA9S7N.jpg

I mean, who knew DeAngelo Williams was still a good running back?

― Johnny Fever, Monday, November 11, 2013 12:43 AM (10 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Ive alwyas loved the guy

grudge match KO by porthos the fat musketeer
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BYzRC03CEAA9S7N.jpg

― Roberto Spiralli, Monday, November 11, 2013 10:44 AM (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol he's drinking a rolling rock

2 rolling rocks!

big guy earned the right to double fist

sean lee out for a month. dallas won't be the 8-8 division winner this year i guess.

they should open up the East division to the also-rans in the Central this year IMO

so they just showed the dolphins owners press conference on monday night countdown, and then came back to the studio show where everyone commented on it except ditka, who literally said "i'll pass"

oh i guess this is in line with ditka's prior comments on the story, of which i was not aware

Lots of Fins fans here.

matt flynn goes home

"oh i guess this is in line with ditka's prior comments on the story, of which i was not aware"

I believe Ditka's comment was that someone should have gotten him a ticket to Fist City, which is a place I wish existed.

Fist City, Pennsylvania (probably the mid point between Philly & Pittsburgh)

Fist City, Idaho (probably way out in the boonies, ATF stay away)

Fist City, Arkansas (Probably right on the Texas/Arkansas line)

Fist City, Indiana (obviously would be in the region around Gary)

ditka's comment was that he didn't want either martin or incognito on his team. spoken like a true hardass coach.

loooool @ fat guy TD, right on

Coaches in Ditka's era were not exactly Pete Carroll.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5lYbWhPDYeY

tampa has found the one team more fucked up than they are

fist city incognitos did ok in arena league

Missed game, checked espn app - says Fins leading rusher was tannehill with 1 carry for 2 yards. O_O

^^^^

i really had a feeling that with all of the players seeming to sing the same song over the incognito martin stuff that miami would drop an us vs world smackdown on tampa in this game, but it is easy to forget that tampa has a competant defense, and they did nearly, sorta, beat seattle last week. it would be p hilarious if schiano took them on a run that did nothing but save his hide.

http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/9965883/houston-texans-release-ed-reed

half million per game, well played ed

Flynn to GB. What an odd career this guy is having.

Flynn went on Rumspringa.

http://www.grantland.com/blog/the-triangle/post/_/id/82060/grantland-scienc-ultimate-awful-qb

grats Vikes for getting two spots on that infographic

weedens feet otm