hyperbole, by j0rdan s.

rolling thread of posting ott things j0rd says

like, john barry should be barred by presidental order from talking on tv about basketball

― J0rdan S., Saturday, May 14, 2011 10:26 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark

lol tbh this is my favorite thing to do

tbh it is one of my favorite things for u to do

great thread!

Best thread ever.

tbh it is one of my favorite things for u to do

― roxymuzak, Saturday, May 14, 2011 8:22 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

otm

fun game

i'm so happy that roethlisberger didn't lead the steelers on a drive at the end of the game, i would've had to leave the country altogether

― no beans, push to fart (J0rdan S.), Sunday, February 6, 2011 11:11 PM (3 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

haha

this is a otm thraed

ppl "donating" their statuses should be shot in the face

― jordy (J0rdan S.), Friday, January 16, 2009 2:51 AM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

lol

perfect thread

I don't even think the bulls are that great but in the interest of human rights I think stern should just eliminate both the magic and hawks

― J0rdan S., Sunday, April 24, 2011 9:58 PM (3 weeks ago)

haha

"________ is the worst!"

^posted x 1000 give or take on ilhoops

lol

i fear a world where jordan has any power over anything

hes an ilxor -- shouldnt be an issue

this is a otm thraed

― D40 (D-40), Sunday, 15 May 2011 00:39 (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

he has power over 1p3

if thats any indication

off topic but i love this:

Is there a good name for whatever style this is? It seems to be very now in a way that I'm young enough to notice but too fully understand -- that californiaish, burnout, vans-with-no-socks and ray-bans endless summer sound that seems to be one of the prevailing ones (yeah, partly because it's summer).

― didn't even have to use my akai (Hurting 2), Saturday, July 16, 2011 8:19 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

this shit is called chillwave, bruh

― J0rdan S., Saturday, July 16, 2011 8:19 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark

have to put sheets on my bed, would pretty much rather kill myself

― J0rdan S., Monday, July 18, 2011 2:05 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark

can't believe this song is even being talked about

― be my anchor baby (J0rdan S.), Monday, August 16, 2010 12:42 AM

[Eminem - Love The Way You Lie ft. Rihanna]

no, i honestly couldn't

(((d-_-b)))

not exactly hyperbole, i guess, but whatever:

What would be it like to go a day without spending any money? How would I get from A to B? What about food? Turns out, a day of living expense free is very easy to do.

actually kill yourself

― J0rdan S., Wednesday, May 12, 2010 9:43 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

A self-proclaimed female A.J. Jacobs

go step in front of a train

― J0rdan S., Wednesday, May 12, 2010 9:45 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I knew I had a coffee maker and some Holder's House Blend coffee in my cupboard somewhere so it was about time I tried it out. Honestly, the coffee wasn't so bad. I was so used to my morning corner-coffee shop routine that I forgot how much I enjoyed a simple cup of joe in my apartment before I left for work.

take this pot of coffee and pour it on your face

― J0rdan S., Wednesday, May 12, 2010 9:46 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark

I poured myself a bowl of cereal, adding banana slices on top. Not so bad.

how is this a real human being? someone detonate a car bomb in 'flatiron'

― J0rdan S., Wednesday, May 12, 2010 9:47 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

"It was time to get creative" *links to own retarded website*

― J0rdan S., Wednesday, May 12, 2010 9:48 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I rummaged through my cupboard and fridge and sure enough, I had a box of unopened penne and an unopened can of tomato vodka sauce hidden behind some cans of soup. Penne vodka -- perfect.

this is the most un-self aware and embarrassing article i've read in my entire life

― J0rdan S., Wednesday, May 12, 2010 9:49 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark

i know your last name is "von Tobel" but good christ

― J0rdan S., Wednesday, May 12, 2010 9:49 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I recognize that this experiment is unsustainable for a long period of time

you are literally the worst person walking the face of the earth

― J0rdan S., Wednesday, May 12, 2010 9:50 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark

lol

i love j0rdan's whole new "what are people doing" schtick

haha that thread was great

haha man, that was for real the worst article

loooool

hs, how did you find all that

um the quiddities and agonies thread was recently updated and then i reread the whole thing? i have a lot of time on my hands! when i got to alexa von tobel i laughed and laughed. j0rdan basically posted those all in a row tbh. hero!

take this pot of coffee and pour it on your face

― J0rdan S., Wednesday, May 12, 2010 9:46 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark

i wish there were more irl opportunities to say this to loathsome people, but it would have to be a very particular circumstance.

haha i got all excited that there was some new next level quiddities and agonies but them was let down to see those posts were a year old

i save up that thread and read it (and the articles linked) during my slow-ass thursday nite dj gig

sanchez running qb draws for TDs is quite literally the most aggravating thing on earth

― J0rdan S., Sunday, November 13, 2011 9:56 PM (41 seconds ago) Bookmark

this is one of my favorite thread

s

if they really serve enchiladas w/ flour tortillas in south carolina they should just shut the whole state down

― yo zuccotti (J0rdan S.), Thursday, November 17, 2011 10:32 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

there literally is not a human being worse than someone who roots for the jets

― yo zuccotti (J0rdan S.), Thursday, November 17, 2011 11:58 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

you were looking for the truth bombs thread i think

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/the_good_word/2005/11/the_word_we_love_to_hate.html

I literally can't imagine a bigger waste of my time than reading some smug columnist describe the feedback loop around the word "literally"

Download the MP3 audio version of this story here, or sign up to get all of Slate's free daily podcasts.

I literally can't imagine a bigger waste of my time than reading some smug columnist describe the feedback loop around the word "literally"

― upright shitizen's brigade (Whiney G. Weingarten), Friday, November 18, 2011 9:59 AM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

haha

GO JETS

i think we all wish the jets godspeed on their current trajectory

spiralls otm

baby is actually playing like an overgrown six year old

― bern notice (J0rdan S.), Monday, May 9, 2011 8:07 PM (7 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

^this is one if my favorite ever jordan posts

i was more repulsed by an ad i saw for dunkin donuts' tuna sandwich than i was by the homeless man masturbating on the train three seats down from me

― J0rdan S., Thursday, July 5, 2012 9:08 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark

that thread's filled with choice h by j's

how is this a real human being? someone detonate a car bomb in 'flatiron'

― J0rdan S., Wednesday, May 12, 2010 9:47 PM

lol

i can only imagine the hyperboles flying at the cell the other night with j0rd and morbs

i'd be more willing to consider an argument that richard nixon is the best president in the history of america than i would that there's a better fast food burger than in n out

― J0rdan S., Thursday, July 5, 2012 8:49 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

i think about alexa von tobel once every few months

I knew I had a coffee maker and some Holder's House Blend coffee in my cupboard somewhere so it was about time I tried it out. Honestly, the coffee wasn't so bad. I was so used to my morning corner-coffee shop routine that I forgot how much I enjoyed a simple cup of joe in my apartment before I left for work.

take this pot of coffee and pour it on your face

― J0rdan S., Wednesday, May 12, 2010 9:46 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark

hahahahahaaa

anyone who thinks biggie is wack is actually mentally retarded

― the resulting pussy stubble (J0rdan S.), Saturday, July 10, 2010 2:34 AM (1 year ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

JSOTM

lol

<3 this thread

garibay is a terrorist

http://i.imgur.com/N5vXI.gif

god, so excited every time this is bumped

he's toying with us now

I REGRET NOTHING

i'm serious -- pepper jack cheese and sushi is literally the most disgusting thing that someone has ever thought of -- not even just in the realm of food

― 2 guys 1 jag (J0rdan S.), Friday, April 2, 2010 4:53 PM

there was a period in my life where I drank 10 diet cokes a day

― Matt Armstrong, Tuesday, October 23, 2012 10:29 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark

what in the living fuck

― lil dirk (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, October 23, 2012 10:32 PM (4 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

drinking 10 diet cokes a day sounds roughly as bad to me as just outright being waterboarded with diet coke

― lil dirk (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, October 23, 2012 10:33 PM (4 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

not hyperbole imo

not proud of what I've done

the sad thing is that for as gross as this piece is, it seems like a pretty garden variety, like, naive white journalism student pitch

i'm more taken aback by the entire existence of "hire me grantland" -- my life has been permanently changed more or less

― J0rdan S., Thursday, November 29, 2012 9:45 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

any publication that puts amanda palmer in its top 50 should be classified by the pentagon as a terrorist organization

― J0rdan S., Monday, December 10, 2012 9:09 AM Bookmark

i have trouble participating in this thread bc i am so inured to hyperbole, by j0rdan s.

dude developed a distinctive posting style and you can't even recognize

that one is particularly beautiful

i knew this thread would get bumped for that post as soon as i read it

and me as i wrote it but i'm not letting the machine becoming sentient stop me

that dog latin post should be an imprisonable offense irl

― d'eejban (J0rdan S.), Thursday, January 24, 2013 6:21 PM

knew it would be that

what thread

77 tracks of 2012

oops i meant what thread is the og doglatin post. i never saw it despite all the talk

this was the post that was c/p'd into the thread, w/ context:

"Inspector Norse" is one I didn't get until I heard it out and then it all made sense

― these bitches is my sons and i make dad jokes (The Reverend), Monday, December 3, 2012 9:59 AM (1 month ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

what's not to get? who doesn't want to hear the soundtrack to a giant robot goose stomping down the street in celebration at having thwarted an insidious space attack?

― make like a steak and beef (dog latin), Monday, December 3, 2012 10:02 AM (1 month ago) Bookmark

ok my control f is faulty

lmfbo @ that descrip

this halftime show is seriously the nadir of life

― J0rdan S., Sunday, March 3, 2013 11:15 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark

<3

that makes me miss football

have to put sheets on my bed, would pretty much rather kill myself

― J0rdan S., Monday, July 18, 2011 2:05 AM (4 hours ago)

last night i slept in my bed without sheets instead of taking my sheets out of the dryer and making my bed

i saw this article in which gwyneth paltrow said "i would rather die than let my child eat cup-a-soup", i thought of this thread

coop-a-soup

imagining gwen holding a gun to her head as her child sneers, her little plastic red spoon overflowing with broth

who isn't

chipotle has the best mexican food in manhattan

― J0rdan S., Wednesday, July 17, 2013 11:31 AM (17 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

that's a peach

lmao

manhattan, kansas

hahaha i just came here to post that

the chipotle thread is really great huh

Yes treeship, it is

great minds going at it

food

^

calling his "forever" verse dope is as offensive as racism to me

― incredible length (J0rdan S.), Saturday, 26 June 2010

chipotle has the best mexican food in manhattan

― J0rdan S., Wednesday, July 17, 2013 11:31 AM (17 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― iatee, Wednesday, July 17, 2013 12:49 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this is how you troll folks. 276 answers and still rolling along.

off one post B-)

excellent work imo

i've been checking that thread on the reg and have no idea what anyone is even talking about

haha what thread is that

i voted for "blurred lines" which everyone loved right when it first dropped

the first second of that song is better than the knife's entire career, real talk

― le goon (J0rdan S.), Thursday, January 23, 2014 6:01 PM (53 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i don't see it

lol

Great performance from J0rdan in the EOY 2013 tracks threat. 60% of songs were met with "that's a classic song"

if you like music and don't think there are at least 20 classic songs a year i feel bad for you, son

^

that's a classic son

i saw this article in which gwyneth paltrow said "i would rather die than let my child eat cup-a-soup", i thought of this thread

― 1 P.3. Eternal (roxymuzak), Monday, July 8, 2013 6:49 PM (6 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

coop-a-soup

― pplains, Monday, July 8, 2013 6:57 PM (6 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

every post on this thread has me like a family feud contestant — *applauds loudly* "good answer, good answer, good answer!" *applauds loudly*

― J0rdan S., Wednesday, March 25, 2009 10:19 PM (4 years ago

this is not necessarily hyperbole but i think about this post all the time

yeah, good post

haha somewhat hoosian tbh!

i also think about this post all the time fwiw

I would dispute that her last album was better than C4 (or a lot of things) but then my non-Wayne Young Money interest is pretty limited, select Drake/Nicki songs/features aside. actually prefer hearing random Jae Millz/Mack Maine/Euro nevergonnabes spit solid verses on Wayne mixtapes to a lot of their material

― nova, Wednesday, May 21, 2014 4:19 PM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

you should see a therapist

― le goon (J0rdan S.), Wednesday, May 21, 2014 4:21 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

c/p with zing thread

http://domesticity.gawker.com/no-taco-should-cost-6-1615982464

facts only

j0 friday

$6 for a taco is a moral obscenity

seems like the sort of thing that only people who buy $6 tacos in new york should care about

otm. A taco should be $2.50 or less.

def though i feel like most every major american city prob has a few places like this xp

I'd actually pay 6 dollars for a legitimately good taco in NYC--tacombi is pretty damn mediocre though so it's doubly insulting.

I'd pay $6 for an exceptional burrito

de Blasio should zone New York so that tacos can only legally be sold in Sunset Park and Sunnyside and nowhere else

a central point is that you can't have a good $6 taco, though. It's impossible.

omg @ women with salad

the central point is that you can't have a good $6 taco because they are so overstuffed/elaborate that they aren't even enjoyable to eat, which i bet is true for mostly all $6 tacos

U can get breakfast tacos in sa for 50 cents a piece. Nyers. Buncha jabronis.

what are the contents of this breakfast taco?

jordan otm. no hyperbole there, $6 is absurd. feel the same way about falafel, should be no more than $4 (though i will pay $6 for REALLY good falafel, e.g. amsterdam falafel in DC/Boston which has a self-serve toppings bar w/ a bunch of really good shit like roasted eggplants, baba ganoush, chili paste, pepperoncinis, a shit load of other stuff)

i would not pay $6 for a really good taco though, when you can get great tacos for $2.50

Which came first, Maoz or Ambsterdam? xp

U can get breakfast tacos in sa for 50 cents a piece. Nyers. Buncha jabronis.

― owe me the shmoney (m bison), Wednesday, August 6, 2014 3:23 PM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

stuffed as fuck too

sarge's central point stands strong tho tacos up here in dc is the same shit

people pay $6 for all kinds of food that is roughly comparable in size to a taco, people also pay $6 for a can of beer pretty regularly, I have no problem w/ people paying $6 for a taco

I mean I am not going to do it

i know this is changing and is already true in cities/neighborhoods with large immigrant populations (especially those with warm climates), but i really wish the US had a culture of cheap, snacky, but delicious street food. sometimes i don't want a whole meal and i don't feel like paying a lot of money, and i just want something tasty and good for less than $3 bucks. the US basically has chain fast food to fill in the need for cheap food but it's all garbage. i don't mean an overpriced food truck, lots of food trucks in boston just sell regularly priced meals, not snacks. just little stands that have good food.

Which came first, Maoz or Ambsterdam? xp

― 龜, Wednesday, August 6, 2014 11:31 AM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

pretty sure maoz came first, iirc amsterdam falafel (the actual restaurant and not the general concept) was based somewhat on maoz. not sure if maoz was based on something previous though.

I paid $10 for a torta last weekend, and this thread is giving me flashbacks

like if you go to mexico or peru there are little stands selling tamales, empanadas, etc. and they are all super cheap. i am not expected that cheap in the US, but something still cheap and small would be nice.

What, hot dogs not doing it for ya. $1.75 for a skinny wiener covered in Hunts is enough to fill anyone

maoz is a european chain started by israelis, not really based on anything

i know this is changing and is already true in cities/neighborhoods with large immigrant populations (especially those with warm climates), but i really wish the US had a culture of cheap, snacky, but delicious street food. sometimes i don't want a whole meal and i don't feel like paying a lot of money, and i just want something tasty and good for less than $3 bucks. the US basically has chain fast food to fill in the need for cheap food but it's all garbage. i don't mean an overpriced food truck, lots of food trucks in boston just sell regularly priced meals, not snacks. just little stands that have good food.

― marcos, Wednesday, August 6, 2014 11:36 AM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

america has good street food everywhere it has good streets

Nah, most american food trucks are garbage

yeah, it's sad that most food trucks dump their low overhead into the paint job rather than passing it along to the customers.

new york is really the only place where you can get good hot food late for cheap because of halal carts

also poor countries are just going to have cheaper street food than rich countries, I mean even that dude selling empanadas in sunset park has to pay brookyln rent

and i guess LA too but i assume there's more driving involved whereas in ny you can basically walk out of any bar in manhattan/some parts of brooklyn and stumble on a $3 chicken pita or whatever

maoz is a european chain started by israelis, not really based on anything

― iatee, Wednesday, August 6, 2014 11:43 AM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ah ok, i was totally wrong then

yeah but that's not because other american cities have bad food culture it's because they are just bad places in general

xp

The ubiquity of halal carts actually works against nyc imo, need more taco trucks

Nyc probably barely cracks the global top 50 in terms of street food imo

yeah but that's not because other american cities have bad food culture it's because they are just bad places in general

― iatee, Wednesday, August 6, 2014 11:48 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol, fuck off dude

classic nyc provincialism

sorry i don't mean to be a dick iatee

I meant to say except for where you live

i don't really care *why* american cities have bad (late night) food culture, just that they do

lol xp

Nyc probably barely cracks the global top 50 in terms of street food imo

I mean who cares about 'street food' I just want to eat food, I can get it to go, ny does crack the top 50 of food

the street food fetish is like a cult of authenticity thing, oh man that was cooked 10 feet outside of the building instead of 10 feet inside of the building, it's real food

Nah, most american food trucks are garbage

― 龜, Wednesday, August 6, 2014 8:45 AM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

otm, it's amazing how disgusting most food trucks in l.a. are at least, i've gone to so many bars that have food trucks parked outside and the food is such bullshit. lots of the pioneering food trucks are good, though even some of them are awful.

street food tends to mean something because of the inherent limitations of the medium xp

I wager a 4H fair in Iowa would probably be at least top 20 tho

Eh there are advantages to street food

Hawkers don't have to pay rent for one thing, obv there's costs with a truck and getting a license

But if you're running a stall that you hitch to the back of your car

And you're running illegal or in a place with lax licensing

It reduces the barrier to entry

Also it's harder to do smokey stuff indoors like open pit charcoal

And sometimes food just isn't improved by sitting down and eating it, it has to be on a stick

fair stall food usually benefits some sort of club where adults drink beer and host their kids' birthday parties. I don't care about your club. what's your overhead?

-Signed, someone who has eaten fried squid on a stick

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/9627011/pphotos/shfood/IMG_4963.jpg

I am fine w/ paying less money for food and eating it on a stick, but often places in buildings also offer cheap food on a stick

like the above photo looks suspiciously like a room in a building

I took it outside!

龜 otm multiple xps.

the point of street food is that you can take it and go and eat outside at the place of your choosing. take-out from a restaurant with all the boxes and containers and stapled paper bag is a totally different thing.

I mean if you want to get technical yes some stalls are actually just street-facing rooms inside a building, but they don't have places to sit and everything they sell is on a stick and it's cheap, it's still street food imo

Even if it's indoors, hawker centers in Singapore or wet markets in HK are still within the street food ambit imo

snow cones' portability make them the ultimate street food. but they are unfairly cast as dessert only. where are your hot dog syrups? your taco syrups?

http://i.imgur.com/cpYLuwf.jpg

Like even though the food here is being prepared 'inside' this is still street food

manhattan's street food culture is limited by permits, similar to taxis you can probably say that the current system is stifling but zero limits would also be a mess

on Sunday i paid $11 for two smallish fish tacos in ASBURY PARK

as u were

Zero limits would probably flood the streets with people which would make it harder for private car ownership, it's a win-win I think you can agree

'hyperbole by j0rdan s.'

literally every inch of space in manhattan would have someone's street cart or another in it, eventually everyone would starve to death because nobody could move

NYC's draconian permit system drove the brave and the few to Madison Square Park, one of the few places in Bloomberg's fascist NYC where one could operate a shack in peace

I think we all know how that story turned out

The piles of dead bodies in the street would further inhibit the movement of cars, again a win-win xp

an ex gf of mine once defended china's total lack of street food regulation by saying "it's so much simpler than in america, if you get food poisoning from a cart just don't go there again"

eh dead bodies don't usually stop cars

If everybody could just operate a food cart instead of having to rent storefront property then rents all across the city would go down too

In short, deregulate NYC

龜, food libertarian

the more NYC looks like kowloon walled city the better imo

is someone working on a lyft/uber like service for food? we need an app called füd that would allow me to sell half of the sandwich I just made to passersby.

from what I can tell approximately 50% of startups are that

also it should be called fuiud

lol

I wager a 4H fair in Iowa would probably be at least top 20 tho

― 龜, Wednesday, August 6, 2014 10:58 AM (20 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

corn dogs travel just fine amigo

i enjoy corn dogs

chicago's late night mexican spots where you can get a 2.50 taco >>>> new york's

new york's late night (anything)

they should have a deal or no deal type show where these trey songz features are in 50 separate cases and i have to go down to 1 to listen to for the rest of my life. the deal they offer me after every round is the chance to shoot myself in the head.

― hazmat yayo (J0rdan S.), Wednesday, May 27, 2009 7:06 AM (6 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

classic

hahaha

https://twitter.com/jordansarge/status/641725206885761028

@jordansarge
i genuinely hope we get nuked by north korea

fuck yeah

:-p

https://twitter.com/jordansarge/status/696704039342448640

http://gawker.com/bars-are-not-fun-1785214119

Why don’t we just have birthday drinks on the tarmac at JFK?

<3

*applause*

Hanging out with your good buds in the calm of someone’s living room.

bars are for people with no friends and/or no living room imo

sitting alone in your living room, realizing no one else is there or even going to show up, slowly carving a deep groove into the couch with your ass (and eventually, your entire body when you realize there is no reason to sit and not lay down), empty beverage and food containers on one side of the coffee table since you know no one is going to judge you beyond your own inner self-loathing

this is also why bars are full of regulars who have self-loathing

i gritted my teeth through the cousinfucking story, my patience is used up sir!!

I also fucking hate bars and invite jordan to hang out all the time and he never does

I hang out with my friends at Golden Corral.

I like bars. Not all bars, but I like bars. You can fill in the blanks about self-loathing.

bars are wonderful, love yourself

I have only been in a bar with goole once and that was pretty good. Maybe goole is what is often missing from the bar experience.

bars are for people with no friends and/or no living room imo

precisely. restaurants that have bars and clubs inexplicably calling themselves bars notwithstanding, bars are not intended for ppl who are ok with their lives. those who are, sit on the effing couch lol

truth, by j0rdan s.

slander not the hiding places of sad bastards

bars are fun places to watch sports imo

watching sports is for sociopaths

(feel like I'm channeling j0rdan on that one)

jordan loves sports more than anyone on this board lol

j0rdan does in fact watch sports

i've been to a bar with goole. it was good.

i don't hate all bars, but i feel like most bars are actively terrible places. when i find a good one i try to stick with it, though half the time i'd rather just invite friends over and hang out on the porch.

sarge has been to my place exactly once when he's in town and it has never occurred to me to meet anywhere except at a bar

I've plenty of booze at home but I like bars! I like overhearing conversations and often get more reading done.

reading in bars is a v underrated pleasure

I feel like we rate it correctly on ilx which is cool. Not all bars are for reading, obv

yah if I can I usually arrive a half hour early so I can drink a cocktail alone w/my book

sounds like j0rdan hangs out mostly in sports bars, which I agree are pathetic

the key is to find a chill and moderately populated bar w/a friendly but unintrusive clientele

j0rdan and I usually meet at a relatively quiet "gastropub" idk

the thing is, I'd still rather meet friends at bars b/c I can leave when I want whereas if they come over it's rude to throw them out

^^^

lol I was going to post that but held back the impulse

i've been to a bar with goole. it was good.

― 𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Friday, August 12, 2016 2:43 PM (17 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

come back!

everyone

also: most of my straight friends have kids so going to a bar is an escape.

I'd totally chill w/goole at a bar

up here we're double the mosqitos, none of the zika

not sure why a bar has to be "fun" and not just functional. is your favorite restaurant "fun?" if it is, then is your favorite restaurant applebee's? because it has a "bar" you could hang out at :)

not really serious there, just spitballing

It's not about "fun", it's about other people being annoying. and the music is too loud.

sorry I know you weren't serious

How come everyone's gone to the bar with goole.

When caek came to town, we didn't take him to a bar. We met him at a tavern.

i only see him at former blogger bars

j0rdan being almost thirty is a where tf did the time go

it's no crutis getting married but yeah

crut is getting married?

hi this board started over 15 years ago and we are all old as fuck, thought we established this

speak for yourself

^^^soon to be the only critic standing up for dylan's 80's records

only one recod

record

thanks for reading guys :-)

sarge has been to my place exactly once when he's in town and it has never occurred to me to meet anywhere except at a bar

― The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, August 12, 2016 3:48 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

this is true but the one bar we usually go to is effectively a restaurant

i don't hate all bars, but i feel like most bars are actively terrible places. when i find a good one i try to stick with it, though half the time i'd rather just invite friends over and hang out on the porch.

― nomar, Friday, August 12, 2016 3:45 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

this about sums it up

@jordansarge
my frank ocean review. i think it's good and sensible.

i blame peter thiel

heh

thiel & channel orange.xls

this content could reasonably be charged with second degree murder https://t.co/IHMJXB1xm2

— jord (@jordansarge) March 15, 2018

starbucks cold brew should be a banned narcotic

— jord (@jordansarge) March 15, 2018

:)

wtf @ shaggy

where's the lord custos tribute thread

starbucks cold brew makes me feel crazier than cocaine

how about cocktails?

the most disgusting thing i’ve ever smelled on the subway was a freshly opened container of yogurt. this was 5 minutes ago.

— jord (@jordansarge) February 21, 2018

You've lived here for several years, come now

yogurt smells worse than BO to me

~floridians~

"watch a 29-year-old man smell yogurt for the first time in his life (video)"

https://melmagazine.com/the-men-who-eat-like-boys-c72c39da18bf j0rd how adjacent are you to this article

not really at all. i love vegetables. last night i had white beans and kale for dinner. i just have specific aversions.... mostly to things that are soft and/or slimy and sweet (fruits like peaches, strawberries, bananas etc, also lots of desserts, mushrooms aren't sweet but texturally i can't). but idk, i love oysters even tho they're slimy... i was just convincing my roommate last night to eat fish roe. but i like things that are salty (name anything) and i also like things that are watery (celery, apples, tomatoes, watermelon etc) so i get why i really respond positively to the taste of brine. it all mostly sense to me in my head as i've thought a lot about why i'm repulsed by certain things. i always loved citrus bcuz of florida i think. anyway i consider myself as much of an omnivorous eater as mostly anyone.

Your liking celery is the most terrifying thing I've ever learned about you.

wait you think BO smells bad?

this yogurt slander is frankly unbelievable

wait you think BO smells bad?

― the masseduction of lauryn hill (Stevie D(eux)), Thursday, March 15, 2018 7:46 PM (one hour ago) Bookmark

well no :-) but the BO of i.e. a homeless person, yes

what about a homeless man who smells of celery

lol good revive

that makes sense ty j0rd

Re: strawberries and things of that nature, is it the taste or the texture? Like a strawberry/banana smoothie, is that tolerable or even worse? I assume mangoes are out too.

no i mostly like the taste of the fruits. i enjoy a berry smoothie, tho if it’s with banana i just ask for it with some orange juice instead. and blueberries i will eat sometimes because they’re not as fleshy as strawberries. i haven’t yet really tried to make myself eat jams/jellies.

mangoes pile up on the side of the street in miami but yeah i’ve not ever really eaten those.

I don't understand the mango at all, but I've Hass avocados are the bomb -- the only ones I can eat in one serving.

first time i ate an avocado i spat it out, the texture grossed me out so bad

i like them now, but i still have texture hangups, like water chestnuts - they creep me out

water chestnuts otm. also weird springy baby corn. kimchi still gives me trouble sometimes, it has to be really good in order for me to enjoy it.

there is a character in Bleak House loosely based on j0rdan. Lawrence Boythorn, Jarndyce’s boyhood friend, upon arriving late to Jarndyce’s house because someone gave him bad directions (they’re old now): “We have been misdirected, Jarndyce, by a most abandoned ruffian, who told us to take the turning to the right instead of to the left. He is the most intolerable scoundrel on the face of the earth. His father must have been a most consummate villain, ever to have had such a son. I would have that fellow shot without the least remorse!”

ok i would say some of that

lol

have to put sheets on my bed, would pretty much rather kill myself

― J0rdan S., Monday, July 18, 2011 2:05 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark

― dayo, Monday, July 18, 2011 6:10 AM (seven years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Boythorn basically just said this in the part i’m reading

hi guys! j0rdan I am rereading Bleak House after like 10 years and immediately thought of you upon being reintroduced to this character

lmao

have to put sheets on my bed, would pretty much rather kill myself

this will be me in a few hours

i feel this so much

I have never even once in my life successful put on a fitted bottom sheet on the first attempt

i actually enjoy making my bed now

sellout

J0rdan S. Peterson

duvet tu brute

it's annoying for 3 mins but then after you have a perfect new bed!

im trying to learn to love tidying up

not coming naturally

I've never not my bed. Unmade beds look like they have ketchup and food and shit spilled on them.

would go to SABR meetup if it was just a bunch of grandfatherly guys telling stories

― call all destroyer, Saturday, January 30, 2010 3:44 PM

well in that case you could just meet morbs for lunch

― Goon's Anatomy (J0rdan S.), Saturday, January 30, 2010 3:46 PM

i've forgotten most of the things i should slap my friend j0rdan around for

especially after seeing him eat

miss this

what is even happening to us as a nation if there's no hyperbole, by j0rdan s.

not hyperbole, just lovely

the man was truly one of a kind. moreso than even his opinions or personality, what i will remember most about bill is that he was a walking history book. it's not an exaggeration to say that a piece of new york died today as well. it will surprise no one who knows either him or me that he was constantly incredulous over me not knowing basically anything about much of the pop culture that made him who he was -- our conversations were classes for me, punctuated by impressions of bygone actors whose lines he would recall from memory and with recite relish. many ppl know he once dabbled in stand up comedy -- he was in his own way a performer at heart. he soaked up such an incredible amount of new york culture that you cannot access online -- mets games from the 60s, richard pryor stand up sets from the 70s, yo la tengo hannukah shows, WMFU call in shows, leather parties... i'm barely scratching the surface. his memory of these things was so clear. and he never let up, even as he got sick and the world became cruel to him. i was decades younger than him, much healthier, and he made me feel like i was wasting my life in this city. he would drag me to mets games, to movies, even when it was obvious that simply climbing the concourse stairs at citi field was taking its toll. there simply isn't very many people like him left in new york. there are many things killing this city, but people like bill are taking history with them, and we will never get it back.

his appetite for introducing ppl to things was just voracious. i believe the last time we saw each other was earlier this year when he took me to see gregg araki's "totally fucked up" at moma. loved it, still think about the movie often, and it's something i never would have done otherwise. lord knows how many times he had seen it, how easy it would have been to not ride the subway an hour into manhattan on a cold weeknight. i got there late (typical), and since bill proudly refused to own a cell phone, i wasn't sure if he had actually made it. even as the lights went up, i thought maybe i would just be left to walk out alone into the night. but of course, that was never the case. a hand shot up and waved at me.

i will miss his companionship, i will miss knowing i was even a small part of what made him want to criss cross brooklyn queens and manhattan, and i will miss learning from him. he had an incredible run given the cards he was dealt, and yet it's still far too soon. he was a legend to everyone who knew him. rest in peace morbs <3

― J0rdan S., Wednesday, October 21, 2020 10:44 PM (eight minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

thanks mookie <3

Yeah that’s a wonderful tribute.

<3

Good stuff

yeah, i loved reading that too. thanks, j0rdan.

beautiful post

yes -- beautiful tribute

<3 that’s beautiful J0rdan