Last (x) Movies you are going to Avoid

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I know we all love to waste our lives inside the black box but there is only so much you can tolerate. This is a negative thread so please be that.

Youth (Paolo Sorrentino, 2015)
Anomalisa (Charlie Kaufman, 2015) - this looks terrible
Hail, Ceasar! (Coen bros., 2015) - a cast to avoid

xyzzzz__, Sunday, 6 March 2016 13:10 (three years ago) link

I was just thinking this about Anomalisa, like ten minutes ago

Laertiades (imago), Sunday, 6 March 2016 13:13 (three years ago) link

I will not allow myself to watch A Bigger Splash. Not that trailers are remotely an indication of how good a film is going to be, but the trailer for this is so pervasively nauseating that it would be a triumph of editing were it somehow to not reflect accurately.

tangenttangent, Sunday, 6 March 2016 13:24 (three years ago) link

Now that awards season is over, I no longer feel like my avoidance of The Revenant, The Big Short, Mad Max: Fury Road, Room and The Martian is that big of a deal, so I'll just continue quietly avoiding them now.

rhymes with "blondie blast" (cryptosicko), Sunday, 6 March 2016 14:20 (three years ago) link

Youth is the worst Sorrention, and the first he's made in a long time that doesn't at least have that wonderful Sorrentinoesque editing, but it's still fine. Looking forward to A Bigger Splash!

Frederik B, Sunday, 6 March 2016 15:08 (three years ago) link

teh danish girl
steve jobs
hateful 8

johnny crunch, Sunday, 6 March 2016 15:13 (three years ago) link

o yea room also def

johnny crunch, Sunday, 6 March 2016 15:17 (three years ago) link

Brooklyn

Frederik B, Sunday, 6 March 2016 15:19 (three years ago) link

A War! Fuck that propagandistic crap.

Frederik B, Sunday, 6 March 2016 15:19 (three years ago) link

Youth was a shade less revolting than The Danish Girl; both movies you can point and laugh at.

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Sunday, 6 March 2016 15:24 (three years ago) link

will avoid:
Oliver Stone's Snowden thing
X-Men XVIII or whatever
Independence Day 2
Star Trek XXXVIII or whatever
Eastwood/Sully
Magnificent Seven remake
Harry Potter spinoff
Star Wars spinoff

will wait for streaming:
Zootopia
Deadpool, maybe
Finding Another Fish

WilliamC, Sunday, 6 March 2016 16:33 (three years ago) link

I thought I was pretty positive & unpicky about films but pretty much everything listed so far I am either avoiding or wish I had avoided

I think the sole exception is Independence Day which I will proooobably see one day even though it looks extremely terrible

anglos with derpy phasis (wins), Sunday, 6 March 2016 17:07 (three years ago) link

Anything Terrence Malick puts out. I have come to accept the fact I find his films shallow and boring, and can no longer be bothered to try.

(I mean, I rarely go to the cinema to catch new films anyway but I don't really see that as actively avoiding films, just... failing to go to the cinema.)

emil.y, Sunday, 6 March 2016 17:27 (three years ago) link

Oh right, now that Oscarbait season is done, Deadpool is thing I give the least shit about.

Might only watch Stone's Snowden thing because of JGL, but still a big maybe.

rhymes with "blondie blast" (cryptosicko), Sunday, 6 March 2016 17:41 (three years ago) link

emil.y, I'm with you on Malick (after Thin Red Line).

WilliamC, Sunday, 6 March 2016 19:23 (three years ago) link

what movies have you willingly watched recently that would make you reconsider the actively avoid list by comparison?
(my having watched zoolander2 means I can't really have an actively avoid list anymore)

Philip Nunez, Sunday, 6 March 2016 19:44 (three years ago) link

how is malick "shallow"? of all the ways to go at the guy...

circa1916, Sunday, 6 March 2016 19:58 (three years ago) link

I don't think he's shallow, more like he's got these few things to say and repeats them ad nauseum. I will avoid the new one.

stanley krubrick (rip van wanko), Sunday, 6 March 2016 20:04 (three years ago) link

This is supposed to be a solely negative thread, so no defending! Though I guess to me 'shallow' = I appreciate the look of his films but the underlying messages and themes completely fail to resonate with me. I just get nothing deeper than 'oh, I guess that's quite pretty'. You might get something more, but I find myself unmoved.

emil.y, Sunday, 6 March 2016 20:04 (three years ago) link

all of them

mookieproof, Sunday, 6 March 2016 20:49 (three years ago) link

Thirding the Malick disdain. Tree of Life felt achingly empty to me. I cannot gel with his very measured, almost clinically literary tone, and don't understand his emotional palette at all. I keep falling for the hype that surrounds him, but I don't think it will happen again.

tangenttangent, Sunday, 6 March 2016 20:54 (three years ago) link

As usual, you put it much better than I can. I often love "achingly empty" films, but that's normally when the emptiness is intentional. Whereas Malick seems to be desperately trying to impart something, but when I look I find nothing.

emil.y, Sunday, 6 March 2016 21:01 (three years ago) link

Youth is the worst Sorrention, and the first he's made in a long time that doesn't at least have that wonderful Sorrentinoesque editing, but it's still fine. Looking forward to A Bigger Splash!

― Frederik B, Sunday, March 6, 2016 Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

The reason for this thread is that a friend & I were going to see it and then got there and it was sold out. We were both dreading it, knowing it was going to be complete and utter shit but liking some of his previous work.

Another friend dragged me to A Bigger Splash! and it was so banal - this barely disguised ad for the Italian tourist industry (even if good things don't happen) so you should avoid it if you can.

xyzzzz__, Sunday, 6 March 2016 21:14 (three years ago) link

The even bigger reason is that 2016 has been terrible for films. Rams by Grímur Hákonarson looks like this quirky Icelandic film I just don't care for. The Revenant is a complete fkn joke.

In parallel the BFI has been running a Godard season and his work from the 70s onwards (never mind the 60s) has been putting everybody to shame.

Dreading the end of this (next week is the last of it). If I am able to I always like going to the cinema.

xyzzzz__, Sunday, 6 March 2016 21:23 (three years ago) link

I know we aren't suppose to defend film, but Rams is delightful... If you all didn't see Of Horses and Men by Benedikt Erlingsson, you need to do that as well, and they're kinda the same film.

Frederik B, Sunday, 6 March 2016 21:33 (three years ago) link

dunno if something can be both quirky and viscerally crushing but this is a thread of hatred so on we go. obv i am never watching The Revenant ever

Laertiades (imago), Sunday, 6 March 2016 21:34 (three years ago) link

Even though I set-up the thread no one needs to follow all the rules (not that there are any hard-and-fast rules) so yeah defend if you happen to watch and like it. Obviously I'm saying 'no way' on the basis of a trailer or a review of it or what I hear about it. xp

xyzzzz__, Sunday, 6 March 2016 21:37 (three years ago) link

The rams trailer made it look like quirky deadpan comedy but it's like straight tragedy. I liked it, probably in large part because it wasn't the former - as we were leaving my friend said "imagine if that had been a British film" and we both shuddered at the thought of the fucking michael gambon rhys ifans bullshit that would be

anglos with derpy phasis (wins), Sunday, 6 March 2016 21:42 (three years ago) link

youth really was pretty bad -- glacial male-artist sorrow (certainly the end of something or other, one would sort of have to think), that one guy who only plays quivering bureaucrats as a quivering bureaucrat, all dialogue clearly written but not spoken in esl which gave the whole movie such a stilted uncanny feeling i almost liked it. liked the giant marx tattoo i guess.

anomalisa was perfect on its own extremely limited and unpleasant terms.

the coens have been at the top of their career since burn after reading so i am very excited for this obviously slight one.

anyway, deadpool.

denies the existence of dark matter (difficult listening hour), Sunday, 6 March 2016 21:52 (three years ago) link

The Revenant, The Danish Girl, the Dakota Fanning trans boy movie, most of the foreseeable superhero movies, Zoolander 2

one way street, Sunday, 6 March 2016 21:56 (three years ago) link

all of them

― mookieproof, Sunday, March 6, 2016 12:49 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

otm.

I am the Joey Chestnut of avoiding movies

lute bro (brimstead), Sunday, 6 March 2016 21:58 (three years ago) link

had no idea stone was making a snowden movie; that's unnecessary. idk if there's a scene in oliver stone's whole oeuvre better than the fire alarm sequence in citizenfour unless it's the one where joe pesci's wig comes off.

denies the existence of dark matter (difficult listening hour), Sunday, 6 March 2016 22:01 (three years ago) link

Rams should be seen just for the awesome images of Iceland :) They have this whole boom of cheap films filmed around the countryside, using the landscape and many amateur actors. All of the films have names like Rams, Sparrows, Volcano, Virgin Mountain, Of Horses and Men. It's a style, kinda.

Yeah, Youth is pretty bad. Sorrentino has only made 'big-male-sorrow' films. His last three films were male-artist-sorrow, but before that it was politician and mafiosi. It's definitely the biggest failing of his filmography, and Youth is really doubling down on it. The guy is still just 45, why are all his films about men growing old and irrelevant? But he is a good picture-maker, and Youth has good pictures.

Frederik B, Sunday, 6 March 2016 22:42 (three years ago) link

When Tree of Life came out the local alt-weekly ran two reviews: "I Saw The Tree of Life, and I Loved It" and "I Didn't See The Tree of Life, and I Hated It." I'll always love Badlands and should get around to watching The Thin Red Line but nothing after that has had much appeal.

JoeStork, Sunday, 6 March 2016 22:51 (three years ago) link

The only 'my god what rubbish' reaction I've had to a trailer recently was for The BFG, but after the disaster of Tintin I was unlikely to see another Spielberg kids' movie anyway.

The trailer for Hail, Caesar pretty much gives the entire movie away - and does so in a far snappier fashion than the film itself. Ralph Fiennes is the standout turn in H,C but even that wasn't enough to make me see A Bigger Splash, especially after I read a really arsey interview w/ the director in Sight and Sound.

And yes, Youth was unrecoverable in any coherent critical way as a 'good' movie, but it's not an especially interesting bad movie either. The corollary of its male-artist-sorrow is a gross sexism and general disregard for any of the female characters (Rachel Weisz and Jane Fonda probably give the best performances in the film, but they're marginalised and trivialised when set against mouldy Michael Caine and mumbling Harvey Keitel). Also thought This Must Be The Place was a turd, so yeah, it def feels like Sorrentino loses something quite crucial when working with an English Language script.

Chicamaw (Ward Fowler), Sunday, 6 March 2016 23:06 (three years ago) link

The Big Fucken Giant. Never saw Tintin but I will do my duty and watch it as part of the big Spielberg project. But I get to stop at Bridge Of Spies, then my commitment ends, so the BFG can G the F O.
Never watched Avatar, Titanic, Independence Day, any Jurassic Park sequels, I watch a hella lit of bad ibdies but I can't be bothered with that shit.
Still Alice, my mother keeps trying to show me and I am "no thank you"

Jonathan Hellion Mumble, Sunday, 6 March 2016 23:58 (three years ago) link

Fast/Furious films, Saw films, TV spinoffs...

Jonathan Hellion Mumble, Monday, 7 March 2016 00:01 (three years ago) link

The director of A Bigger Splash is Luca Guadagnino who made the quite good I Am Love, so def seeing A Bigger Splash.

I watched Synecdoche New York two days back and decided to give Anomalisa a pass.

Frederik B, Monday, 7 March 2016 00:06 (three years ago) link

guys if you're not hating on days of heaven you're hating malick wrong

carly rae jetson (thomp), Monday, 7 March 2016 00:27 (three years ago) link

its like if you're really going to hate oasis you can't just start hating with 'be here now'. you have to commit to your hate. it's like hating only the late u2: fuck that.

carly rae jetson (thomp), Monday, 7 March 2016 00:28 (three years ago) link

i am love is a garbage movie for garbage people

carly rae jetson (thomp), Monday, 7 March 2016 00:28 (three years ago) link

oh my god rain on a statues face it looks like the statue is crying fuck me did your 5yo cowrite this thing

carly rae jetson (thomp), Monday, 7 March 2016 00:29 (three years ago) link

anomalisa is a great title for a mediocre mid-90s indie record

carly rae jetson (thomp), Monday, 7 March 2016 00:29 (three years ago) link

dlh's thing on youth and esl kinda makes me want to see it, or at least make a movie that uses the same trick to some effect

carly rae jetson (thomp), Monday, 7 March 2016 00:30 (three years ago) link

Non-english speaking people has been doing this for decades.

Frederik B, Monday, 7 March 2016 00:54 (three years ago) link

'Oh look at this stupid director, he isn't even a native English speaker, and he still thinks he can make a global film! lol, what a weirdo.'

Frederik B, Monday, 7 March 2016 00:55 (three years ago) link

'Meanwhile, isn't Eddie Redmayne amazing as a Dane, let's give him all the oscars!'

Frederik B, Monday, 7 March 2016 00:55 (three years ago) link

i think there was more to dlh's claim than that tbh

carly rae jetson (thomp), Monday, 7 March 2016 01:19 (three years ago) link

Anything with "today's comedy superstars" US version - people I generally find unfunny (Louis CK, Tina Fey, The Amy's Schumer and Poehler) ---everything I've seen them in up to now a resounding dud so no thanks.
Anything by Lanthimos
"Anomalisa" was a real chore.

Acid Hose (Capitaine Jay Vee), Monday, 7 March 2016 01:48 (three years ago) link

Also - no more Baumbach. Or Ben Stiller ( he just seems fed up in everything).

Acid Hose (Capitaine Jay Vee), Monday, 7 March 2016 01:49 (three years ago) link

obv non-native english speakers direct movies in english all the time. feel like writing movies in english is at least rarer but of course there is nothing silly about that either. it can just be noticeable is all, and when your leads have voices as distinct and culturally situated as michael caine and harvey keitel it's more noticeable. you sometimes see a milder version of this quality when yanks/brits write for brits/yanks.

denies the existence of dark matter (difficult listening hour), Monday, 7 March 2016 09:35 (three years ago) link

or when woody allen writes for anyone.

denies the existence of dark matter (difficult listening hour), Monday, 7 March 2016 09:52 (three years ago) link

Youth was so wack

anglos with derpy phasis (wins), Monday, 7 March 2016 12:19 (three years ago) link

Youth and A Bigger Splash are both showing at the local arthouse but they both sound so boooring. Youth in particular and not even a Maradona cameo can make it appealing.

Anomalisa is great and everyone should watch it btw

i;m thinking about thos Beans (Michael B), Monday, 7 March 2016 15:12 (three years ago) link

It isn't the 'real' Maradona in Youth, fwiw

Chicamaw (Ward Fowler), Monday, 7 March 2016 15:37 (three years ago) link

Kinda looking forward to nu-Malick. Partly because I haven't caught anything he has put out at the cinema so I didn't get annoyed. Plus the new one has good post-cinema conversation potential.

Oliver Stone's Snowden thing

What's the point of that?!

xyzzzz__, Tuesday, 8 March 2016 10:12 (three years ago) link

story ticks so many Stone boxes he probably feels obliged to run thru the motions

Szechuan TV (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 8 March 2016 10:45 (three years ago) link

As long as he can shoehorn in the Cuban gay mafia its ok I guess.

xyzzzz__, Tuesday, 8 March 2016 16:42 (three years ago) link

Gonna pay p close attention to my studious avoidance of Christopher Nolan's ouevre from now on, I think I might not watch interstellar this week

Ecomigrant gnomics (darraghmac), Tuesday, 8 March 2016 16:46 (three years ago) link

Tom Hiddleston double; High-Rise/I Saw The Light

calzino, Tuesday, 8 March 2016 19:44 (three years ago) link

High Rise (Ben Wheatley, 2015) - say no to adaptations of unfilmable books. Can see why greats like Nic Roeg left this alone for a guy who I see has directed television to pick up.

xyzzzz__, Friday, 18 March 2016 11:08 (three years ago) link

I see nic roeg has directed television

anglos with derpy phasis (wins), Friday, 18 March 2016 11:11 (three years ago) link

A lot of it in the mid-90s. Britpop was a tough time for everybody.

xyzzzz__, Friday, 18 March 2016 11:19 (three years ago) link

I don't see how High Rise is unfilmable tbh

i;m thinking about thos Beans (Michael B), Friday, 18 March 2016 16:46 (three years ago) link

a guy who I see has directed television

lol at being bothered to research Wheatley enough to know this, but not bothered enough to consider his actual film work.

But hey, it's the negative thread so carry on as you are. Sadly I can't think of any more current things to hate on, I'm sure I will be back soon though.

emil.y, Friday, 18 March 2016 17:37 (three years ago) link

Wasn't doing "research", just looked at a couple of wiki pages.

While everyone else wasted their time on British cinema I watched Manoel De Oliveira's last film. A real, proper film.

xyzzzz__, Saturday, 19 March 2016 09:26 (three years ago) link

One single screening #RIPCinema

xyzzzz__, Saturday, 19 March 2016 09:29 (three years ago) link

:D

Laertiades (imago), Saturday, 19 March 2016 09:50 (three years ago) link

Wheatley's "A Field In England" is freaky brilliance. Am looking forward to watching "High Rise".

Acid Hose (Capitaine Jay Vee), Saturday, 19 March 2016 10:34 (three years ago) link

^that's not the spirit! ;)

Laertiades (imago), Saturday, 19 March 2016 11:45 (three years ago) link

Ok! Here's one: Am avoiding the ugly Batman/Superman bs by that auteur-for-bros Zach Snyder

Acid Hose (Capitaine Jay Vee), Saturday, 19 March 2016 12:41 (three years ago) link

That French film that isn't about Florence Foster Jenkins

Rainer Weirder Faßbooker (wins), Saturday, 19 March 2016 14:11 (three years ago) link

Do you mean 'Frears'?

Frederik B, Saturday, 19 March 2016 14:23 (three years ago) link

Haha omg just realised that there's an actual ffj biopic coming out as well! Not seeing that either tbh

Rainer Weirder Faßbooker (wins), Wednesday, 23 March 2016 21:14 (three years ago) link

He, yeah, and it's directed by someone whose name could have been an auto-correct from French. I still don't really get what film you're talking about, though?

Frederik B, Wednesday, 23 March 2016 21:36 (three years ago) link

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marguerite_(film)

Wiki tells me it's from last year but it just came out hers.

Do we have a thread listing examples of the turner and hooch/k9 phenomenon? Feel like every message board must have one. And it is a bank holiday.

Rainer Weirder Faßbooker (wins), Thursday, 24 March 2016 15:25 (three years ago) link

I think we did have a thread for something of the sort, but can't for the life of me think what it would have been called.

emil.y, Thursday, 24 March 2016 16:31 (three years ago) link

Clooney stock advice kidnap on air capitalism thriller oh just fuck off

Ecomigrant gnomics (darraghmac), Thursday, 24 March 2016 22:11 (three years ago) link

lol I don't even know what that refers to but what the hell I'll throw my weight behind this campaign

Rainer Weirder Faßbooker (wins), Friday, 25 March 2016 01:38 (three years ago) link

I think we did have a thread for something of the sort, but can't for the life of me think what it would have been called.

― emil.y, Thursday, March 24, 2016 4:31 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this otoh is not good enough, it is good friday and I have nowhere to observe that one time there were two magician movies

Rainer Weirder Faßbooker (wins), Friday, 25 March 2016 01:40 (three years ago) link

Start a new one anyway! If someone else remembers they can link it up, but it's probably from 2003 or something.

emil.y, Friday, 25 March 2016 01:42 (three years ago) link

And actually I think I might just be thinking about 'animal versions of buddy cop movies' (b/c of the examples you used) rather than 'two films about the same thing coming out at the same time'.

emil.y, Friday, 25 March 2016 01:43 (three years ago) link

sorry I wasn't clear!

Rainer Weirder Faßbooker (wins), Friday, 25 March 2016 01:46 (three years ago) link

A hearty fu for making me Google it, but it is called money monster

Ecomigrant gnomics (darraghmac), Friday, 25 March 2016 02:09 (three years ago) link

fuck off that isnt true

Rainer Weirder Faßbooker (wins), Friday, 25 March 2016 02:10 (three years ago) link

https://www.ica.org.uk/whats-on/speed-sisters

Lots of docs like this - I mean I'm sure its fine but it could also be a 20 min segment on BBC News 24.

Anyway, a lot of 'this will be in Storyville in six months' and then its on it and I won't watch anyway.

xyzzzz__, Friday, 25 March 2016 12:07 (three years ago) link

Birdman, The Revenant, death--betting on death.

clemenza, Saturday, 26 March 2016 13:33 (three years ago) link

Saw Birdman. Not gonna see The Revenant, because fool me once...

rhymes with "blondie blast" (cryptosicko), Saturday, 26 March 2016 14:39 (three years ago) link

two months pass...

tale of tales is like the ultimate one of these

imago, Tuesday, 21 June 2016 19:41 (three years ago) link

why is hail caesar a 'cast to avoid'? don't coen bros have the same cast in every movie? do you avoid all their films?

de l'asshole (flopson), Tuesday, 21 June 2016 20:33 (three years ago) link

Tale of Tales was a pretty big disappointment to me. I ended up writing about how like Arabian Nights it showed the bankruptcy of it's production country, only with ToT it's kinda inadvertently.

Frederik B, Tuesday, 21 June 2016 20:45 (three years ago) link

lol

imago, Tuesday, 21 June 2016 20:48 (three years ago) link

Stoked to avoid the Daniel Radcliffe priapic corpse opus

one way street, Tuesday, 21 June 2016 21:42 (three years ago) link

tale of tales is like the ultimate one of these

talk about cunti amirite

oh, amazonaws (wins), Tuesday, 21 June 2016 22:03 (three years ago) link

one month passes...

Chevalier, The Commune (unfortunately not a re-run of Watkins' film on it)

xyzzzz__, Saturday, 30 July 2016 10:57 (three years ago) link

Both the new ones with Greta Gerwig in them

imago, Saturday, 30 July 2016 11:21 (three years ago) link

https://www.ica.org.uk/whats-on/speed-sisters🔗

Lots of docs like this - I mean I'm sure its fine but it could also be a 20 min segment on BBC News 24.

Anyway, a lot of 'this will be in Storyville in six months' and then its on it and I won't watch anyway.

Still otm

kasybian (wins), Saturday, 30 July 2016 11:31 (three years ago) link

xyzzz___ you would def not like chevalier, it's pretty much exactly how you'd picture "producer of dogtooth makes a mainstream male-bonding bro comedy" to be (one of the guys even looks a bit like the creepy manchild from the hangover films). I liked it quite a bit tbh but I like things

kasybian (wins), Saturday, 30 July 2016 11:41 (three years ago) link

The Galifianakis similarity must have been intentional, especially as he's the biggest Greek-American star in Hollywood

imago, Saturday, 30 July 2016 11:57 (three years ago) link

Yeah don't need this xp

xyzzzz__, Saturday, 30 July 2016 11:58 (three years ago) link

Suicide Squad

rhymes with "blondie blast" (cryptosicko), Thursday, 4 August 2016 02:22 (three years ago) link

four months pass...

FIST FIGHT
OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY

i can't wait for 2017 to bring us

OIL CHANGE
FROZEN FOOD AISLE
JAYWALKING TICKET

nomar, Tuesday, 6 December 2016 19:29 (two years ago) link

Just saw the ad for Collateral Beauty. Jeezus!

rhymes with "blondie blast" (cryptosicko), Wednesday, 7 December 2016 00:02 (two years ago) link

just watched the trailer

kids, don't do scientology

keira, never act again

Dave Plaintive rapper with classical training (imago), Wednesday, 7 December 2016 00:22 (two years ago) link

The movie title has been created by the early 90's software used to make Basic Instinct/Primal Fear/Fatal Instinct/Terminal Velocity etc

calzino, Wednesday, 7 December 2016 21:31 (two years ago) link

Another awful trailer: Why Him?

rhymes with "blondie blast" (cryptosicko), Monday, 12 December 2016 16:13 (two years ago) link

This is even more ridiculous than I expected.

https://www.theguardian.com/film/2016/dec/13/collateral-beauty-review-will-smith-helen-mirren-keira-knightley

Will Smith plays a super-brilliant ad exec with a Ted-talking visionary schtick about connectivity. But when he tragically loses his six-year-old to cancer, poor Will becomes a mumbling semi-crazy hermit who is in danger of running his company into the ground. He starts writing letters to abstract concepts like Death, Love and Time, to rail at them. So his sorrowing colleagues – Ed Norton, Kate Winslet and Michael Peña – cook up a sneaky plan. They intercept the letters and hire three actors, played by Helen Mirren, Keira Knightley and Jacob Latimore, to go up to Will in the street and argue with him, pretending to be Death, Love and Time. (They could also have hired Jack Black to be Eat and Morgan Freeman to be Pray – but I guess there were copyright issues.)

Ed, Kate and Michael will secretly video his arguments with these imposters, digitally remove the actors from the video to make him look like a crazy person talking to himself, then show the video to the board to get Will voted off.

jmm, Tuesday, 13 December 2016 20:54 (two years ago) link

Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me.

The Pleasure Principal (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 20:57 (two years ago) link

In a just world, this would extinguish the career of everyone involved. But I think we just found our Best Picture Oscar winner!

The Pleasure Principal (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 20:58 (two years ago) link

Sully looks like weaponised boring

also a shitty kids author got her butler to write the word "pokemon" on a napkin and gave herself the rest of the year off & now people are acting surprised that the result is kind of a nothing film

banfred bann (wins), Wednesday, 14 December 2016 06:59 (two years ago) link

Helen Mirren is the tragedy here. I could see signing onto this mess for the cashola, but this is not a hit movie by any means!

You'd like to think your favorite actors possessed somr trace of taste and discernment. For instance I thought I detected intelligence and shrewdness in the eyes of Jessica Chastain, which led me to check out Miss Sloane last week. What am embarrassment. Again, not a blockbuster formula there, so she had to think this was gonna be Good. Oh that script. Hardest I've cringed since my first exposure to the work of Diablo Cody.

rip van wanko, Wednesday, 14 December 2016 07:32 (two years ago) link

I'm sort of fascinated by Collateral Beauty now. What a weird premise/way of conceiving trauma. The Village Voice review teases that there are two additional twists beyond "They're actors."

jmm, Wednesday, 14 December 2016 15:41 (two years ago) link

Oh boy twists

banfred bann (wins), Wednesday, 14 December 2016 16:46 (two years ago) link

that's where I was a Viking all along

banfred bann (wins), Wednesday, 14 December 2016 16:47 (two years ago) link

shall we guess the twists

Dave Plaintive rapper with classical training (imago), Wednesday, 14 December 2016 16:51 (two years ago) link

JACKIE

Supercreditor (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 14 December 2016 16:52 (two years ago) link

if you watch it numb yourself with vodka, cigarettes, and photos of Bobby

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 14 December 2016 16:52 (two years ago) link

Oh boy twists

― banfred bann (wins), Wednesday, December 14, 2016

he said last night

The burrito of ennui (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 14 December 2016 16:53 (two years ago) link

Bobby Kennedy looked like Bugs Bunny

Supercreditor (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 14 December 2016 16:54 (two years ago) link

let's not spoil ourselves

banfred bann (wins), Wednesday, 14 December 2016 16:55 (two years ago) link

twist one: will smith himself secretly put up his colleagues to do this (by idk INCEPTION), so he could teach THEM a lesson

twist two: the letters were all christmas cards

Dave Plaintive rapper with classical training (imago), Wednesday, 14 December 2016 16:56 (two years ago) link

I'm guessing: (1) The actors turn out really to be abstract manifestations. (2) They're joined at the end by his daughter's ghost for tearful closure.

jmm, Wednesday, 14 December 2016 17:01 (two years ago) link

i'm thinking that yeah, like the letters will smith writes are sort of spectral spirit versions of the nanny letter the kids write in mary poppins.

nomar, Wednesday, 14 December 2016 17:03 (two years ago) link

I should just put [insert the name of latest Oscar-bait biopic here] now so i don't have to bump this thread every year 'round this time.

rhymes with "blondie blast" (cryptosicko), Wednesday, 14 December 2016 17:05 (two years ago) link

xxpost I agree with (1) but I think (2) is a fourth-wall breaking moment where we see the screenwriter finishing the script and then masturbating to completion onto the keyboard of his Macbook.

The Pleasure Principal (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 14 December 2016 17:05 (two years ago) link

It's definitely a case of each quality being bestowed to the respectively needful colleague tbh, the devil is in how it turns around

maybe will smith himself is a paranormal manifestation and his 'dead daughter' is us, the viewers

Dave Plaintive rapper with classical training (imago), Wednesday, 14 December 2016 17:08 (two years ago) link

La La Land

Both Gosling and Stone are such weird looking folks. Like living anime. Dunno if I could deal with two hours of them trying to save their love through song and dance.

Acid Hose (Capitaine Jay Vee), Wednesday, 14 December 2016 19:38 (two years ago) link

trainspotting 2: judgement day

forgive me fader for I have sinned (wins), Sunday, 18 December 2016 15:52 (two years ago) link

Sing

rhymes with "blondie blast" (cryptosicko), Monday, 19 December 2016 16:21 (two years ago) link

three weeks pass...

Split.

some sad trombone Twilight Zone shit (cryptosicko), Sunday, 15 January 2017 06:53 (two years ago) link

Yeah was surprised the director was getting financed. Thought he was getting critically panned. Are people going to his films still?
Though Guardian had a 2 page article based on multiple personality with photos from film on Friday.

Stevolende, Sunday, 15 January 2017 07:50 (two years ago) link

Haha, this thing cost $125 million?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moZIiYxUsGw

jmm, Monday, 16 January 2017 20:41 (two years ago) link

two months pass...

Not one but TWO TV remakes out this week: Chips and Power Rangers.

some sad trombone Twilight Zone shit (cryptosicko), Thursday, 23 March 2017 01:48 (two years ago) link

That Trump-ian baby movie from Dreamworks.

some sad trombone Twilight Zone shit (cryptosicko), Thursday, 30 March 2017 20:49 (two years ago) link

haha I saw chips

a Brazilian professional footballer (wins), Thursday, 30 March 2017 20:50 (two years ago) link

was not good

a Brazilian professional footballer (wins), Thursday, 30 March 2017 20:51 (two years ago) link

two months pass...

Hampstead looks p rancid

Haha so I have a valid NUS card and so I get invited to free preview screenings of films aimed at 19-year-olds, I'm sad enough that I usually go to them and they are nearly always dogshit

Tonight I went to see The House and the place was about 3/4 full. There were flyers on the seats saying "why not head on up to the bar afterwards for an exclusive playthrough of the new Gorillaz album" & also advertising a heavily discounted night owl showing of baby driver. The film, which wasn't great, finished and nobody - not one soul - headed on up to the bar, they all just fucked off. I got a cheap ticket for what's turned out to be a private screening of baby driver (the only circumstance under which I would bother) and am killing time in the pub below. I find this whole experience pretty heartening

blog haus aka the scene raver (wins), Thursday, 29 June 2017 22:29 (two years ago) link

two months pass...

The Battle of the Sexes

the general theme of STUFF (cryptosicko), Thursday, 7 September 2017 15:57 (two years ago) link

yeah, by the Little Miss Sunshine crew no less

ice cream social justice (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 7 September 2017 16:03 (two years ago) link

Downsizing

Anne of the Thousand Gays (Eric H.), Thursday, 7 September 2017 16:36 (two years ago) link

yikes, that Borg-McEnroe movie w/ Shia as Johnny Mac

ice cream social justice (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 9 September 2017 14:49 (two years ago) link

three weeks pass...

The garbage I am proud to say I avoided/will avoid:

Mother!
Blade Runner
Dunkirk

xyzzzz__, Tuesday, 3 October 2017 10:25 (two years ago) link

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Snowman_(2017_film)

johnny crunch, Wednesday, 4 October 2017 14:06 (two years ago) link

Premise [edit]
When Harry Hole

And here I stopped reading.

Anne of the Thousand Gays (Eric H.), Wednesday, 4 October 2017 14:11 (two years ago) link

It's okay, it's a Norwegian thing.

Harry Hole (pronounced "Harry HOO-LEH") is the main character in a series of crime novels written by Norwegian author Jo Nesbø.[1]

jmm, Wednesday, 4 October 2017 15:24 (two years ago) link

two weeks pass...

I already wasn't interested in that new Clooney thing, but after the 80th forced ad for it on Spotify this week, I'm now dead set against it.

iCloudius (cryptosicko), Friday, 20 October 2017 17:33 (two years ago) link

all of them

ban hollywood

clouds, Friday, 20 October 2017 21:47 (two years ago) link

The Death of Stalin

xyzzzz__, Sunday, 22 October 2017 13:25 (two years ago) link

Clouds otm

brimstead, Wednesday, 1 November 2017 23:13 (two years ago) link

Why I felt the need to post that I have no idea. Solidarity!

brimstead, Wednesday, 1 November 2017 23:14 (two years ago) link

i cracked up at the trailer for the snowman. and they actually pronounce 'harry hole' like you'd think it would be pronounced.

Einstein, Bazinga, Sitar (abanana), Friday, 3 November 2017 02:04 (two years ago) link

This review makes it sound like an absolutely hot mess.

iCloudius (cryptosicko), Friday, 3 November 2017 02:26 (two years ago) link

five months pass...

The Guernsey Middle Class Pablum Wankfest And Whoops A Daisy Fuck Off Society I

imago, Wednesday, 18 April 2018 14:48 (one year ago) link

Paddy Considine's Journeyman

Ward Fowler, Wednesday, 18 April 2018 14:55 (one year ago) link

yeah, avoid journeyman like it's your germy nan

i'm surprised to see your screwface at the door (NickB), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 14:59 (one year ago) link

Steven Spielberg's Blackhawk

Uppercase (Eric H.), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 15:33 (one year ago) link

OK, maybe not. Just figured someone would say it eventually.

Uppercase (Eric H.), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 15:34 (one year ago) link

I had a free ticket for a preview of that Guernsey thing and couldn't bring myself to attend. I did see funny cow, in which considine is irritating.

Top of the avoidance pile has to be that dames reminiscing in the countryside film, looks pretty insufferable

scotti pruitti (wins), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 15:41 (one year ago) link

Paddy Considine's Journeyman

Him and Shane Meadows are the absolute worst, that sounds like a shit movie or a shit band he's formed with Johnny Marr.

calzino, Wednesday, 18 April 2018 19:57 (one year ago) link

awesome thread for asking "whatever happened with that movie?"

thots and players (rip van wanko), Wednesday, 18 April 2018 21:46 (one year ago) link

two weeks pass...

★★★★’If Nick Hornby had considered structuring High Fidelity like (500) Days of Summer, the outcome might look something like the smart, music-centric British romantic comedy Modern Life Is Rubbish’ The Hollywood Reporter. In cinemas FRIDAY: Book tickets now:

type your stinkin prose off me, ur damned qwerty uiop (wins), Friday, 4 May 2018 06:48 (one year ago) link

If Ebola spread to the most populous cities of the world in a mutated superstrain that literally turned its victims inside out it would almost be as good as Modern Life is Rubbish

hepatitis groan (Noodle Vague), Friday, 4 May 2018 08:24 (one year ago) link

Lean on Pete

Ward Fowler, Friday, 4 May 2018 08:24 (one year ago) link

The Young Karl Marx

xyzzzz__, Friday, 4 May 2018 14:55 (one year ago) link

These are real movies?

incel elgort (cryptosicko), Friday, 4 May 2018 15:18 (one year ago) link

lol yep

I’m seeing young Karl Marx for sure

type your stinkin prose off me, ur damned qwerty uiop (wins), Friday, 4 May 2018 15:20 (one year ago) link

Book Club. I suppose it's testimony to the power of...something...that Hollywood has made a movie featuring actresses of a certain age who AREN'T Meryl Streep. But no thank you.

Polly of the Pre-Codes (j.lu), Friday, 11 May 2018 22:35 (one year ago) link

Young Karl Marx is mostly harmless. Raoul Peck seems mostly drawn to the revolutionary-in-exile angle.

Frederik B, Friday, 11 May 2018 22:38 (one year ago) link

Before Death of Stalin today were the shit sandwich trailers for old people get their groove back movies Book Club and Finding Your Feet. (Saved by the Mister Rogers trailer as a lovely chaser.)

Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 16 May 2018 21:09 (one year ago) link

three months pass...

Via @iamchrishello I give you pure distilled awful pic.twitter.com/lgNFEiVnqg

— Paul Duane (@MrPaulDuane) August 29, 2018

devvvine, Thursday, 30 August 2018 10:51 (one year ago) link

that has got to be a joke

Noodle Vague, Thursday, 30 August 2018 10:53 (one year ago) link

we can only hope

devvvine, Thursday, 30 August 2018 10:54 (one year ago) link

oh fuck it isn't. nuke planet from orbit.

Noodle Vague, Thursday, 30 August 2018 10:54 (one year ago) link

ahahahaaaa

imago, Thursday, 30 August 2018 11:30 (one year ago) link

TBRR, I only know Sheeran as a subject of mockery on this board, but I don't need to hear a lick of his music to gawp in astonishment @ this concept.

Just eat a hamburger, it'll hit the spot. (Old Lunch), Thursday, 30 August 2018 12:02 (one year ago) link

Titles? I'm going to guess [Name of main character]-mania.

jmm, Thursday, 30 August 2018 12:09 (one year ago) link

it's got "the fool on the hill" written all over it imho

got the scuba tube blowin' like a snork (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 30 August 2018 12:12 (one year ago) link

woweeeeee

Scritti Vanilli - The Word Girl You Know It's True (dog latin), Thursday, 30 August 2018 12:36 (one year ago) link

At great personal cost I once saw the most recent Bridget Jones movie, which has an extended arse-achingly tedious scene where Sheeran plays himself, not being recognised by the main character. It's one of the worst parts of a terrible, terrible film.

Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Friday, 31 August 2018 01:30 (one year ago) link

feel like theres a wave of conversion therapy movies coming out that i am going to Avoid

johnny crunch, Friday, 31 August 2018 02:25 (one year ago) link

The Front Runner

Police, Academy (cryptosicko), Monday, 3 September 2018 01:12 (one year ago) link

King of Thieves w/ Michael Caine, Ray Winstone, Uncle Tom Courtenay and all

Ward Fowler, Wednesday, 5 September 2018 12:35 (one year ago) link

i missed the sheeran revive last week but i'm lolling hard now at the thought that danny boyle might have dropped out of directing the next bond movie to direct... an ed sheeran movie

my dream is to never be a champion (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 5 September 2018 12:52 (one year ago) link

At Eternity's Gate - Julian Schnabel's Van Gogh biopic w/ William Defoe. I loved the Altman and Pialat Van Gogh biopics in the 90's, but just feel strongly that this will be some nauseating garbage (see also every other shit Schnabel movie and his entire art career).

calzino, Thursday, 6 September 2018 07:18 (one year ago) link

there's a bit in the trailer where he says he's painting for people who aren't born yet

devvvine, Thursday, 6 September 2018 11:53 (one year ago) link

lol, that's probably summat Schnabel said himself in the 80's, just before Clement Greenberg told him his work was complete dogshit!

calzino, Thursday, 6 September 2018 12:15 (one year ago) link

Have we touched on the cringe-inducing trailer for Peppermint? It appears to be a Jennifer-Garner-headed remake of Death Wish (because one per year isn't enough?!) except this time every person she's killing is coded as Mexican.

got the scuba tube blowin' like a snork (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 6 September 2018 12:21 (one year ago) link

I really like the name. It's refreshing. Like...well, I guess like peppermint! Ahhh.

Digital Squirts (Old Lunch), Thursday, 6 September 2018 12:44 (one year ago) link

that doc where a wide-eyed dem travels to trump country

got the scuba tube blowin' like a snork (Doctor Casino), Sunday, 9 September 2018 17:21 (one year ago) link

three weeks pass...

Rami Malek as Freddie Mercury
Hugh Jackman as Gary Hart
Christian Bale and Dick Cheney

Engles in the Outfield (cryptosicko), Tuesday, 2 October 2018 22:34 (one year ago) link

A Star is Born, The Wife, A Simple Favour; I hadn’t planned on seeing any, but here I am at the cinema and this is all that’s on. Anyone have any idea which might be the most compelling of the three?

tangenttangent, Sunday, 7 October 2018 16:04 (one year ago) link

Christian Bale and Dick Cheney

this trailer generated a surprising number of whoops and cheers at my mostly 18-35 screening of A Star is Born. Everything about it remined me of what I dislike about Christian Bale's approach to acting and Adam McKay's approach to comedy.

You like queer? I like queer. Still like queer. (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Sunday, 7 October 2018 16:29 (one year ago) link

I'd see The Wife out of that lot.

Why are people I like and thought I knew seeing A Star is Born? What is going on tbh

rip van wanko, Sunday, 7 October 2018 16:32 (one year ago) link

tt: only one of those is by Paul Feig

Shy Betting Mega Hit (sic), Sunday, 7 October 2018 16:40 (one year ago) link

I know we're in Oscar bait season, but the trailer for On the Basis of Sex further increased my Do Not Wants.

Accattony! Accattoni! Accattoné! (j.lu), Wednesday, 10 October 2018 13:03 (one year ago) link

Has Felicity Jones been good in anything?

jmm, Wednesday, 10 October 2018 17:07 (one year ago) link

i have never seen her, so that tends toward no

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 10 October 2018 17:13 (one year ago) link

would be pretty swank to have seen every good movie ever ;)

imago, Wednesday, 10 October 2018 17:39 (one year ago) link

i find that whenever i reluctantly sit down to watch something, it's almost always bad, so imagine how awful the stuff i skip must be.

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 10 October 2018 17:41 (one year ago) link

The white people I know are awful, imagine how much worse all those unknown brown people must be.

oder doch?, Wednesday, 10 October 2018 23:57 (one year ago) link

now that's an award-winning straw man intro right there

Mince Pramthwart (James Morrison), Thursday, 11 October 2018 00:33 (one year ago) link

one month passes...

Haha ok what the FUCK is this green book movie, how is it real. I saw the trailer and it was hilariously bad, it really feels like a parody trailer in the “simple jack” genre. Like, I might actually watch this it looks so bad

Pierrot with a thousand farces (wins), Sunday, 2 December 2018 18:31 (eleven months ago) link

dark gritty Driving Miss Daisy reboot

biliares now living will never buey (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 2 December 2018 18:34 (eleven months ago) link

Guido Mortensen vs ~articulate~

Pierrot with a thousand farces (wins), Sunday, 2 December 2018 18:36 (eleven months ago) link

one does not simply walk into Mississippi

biliares now living will never buey (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 2 December 2018 18:38 (eleven months ago) link

hahahahaha

WmC, Sunday, 2 December 2018 18:40 (eleven months ago) link

Black Panther; I forgot to put that one down here months ago.

I Never Promised You A Hose Harden (Eric H.), Sunday, 2 December 2018 19:19 (eleven months ago) link

Cuarón, Jenkins and maybe a few others aside, this year's holiday/awards season crop looks pretty dire.

Timothée Charalambides (cryptosicko), Sunday, 2 December 2018 19:28 (eleven months ago) link

idk it seems pretty routine.

good:
Roma (assuming)
Beale Street (assuming)
Burning (assuming)
Vice (assuming... w/e I'm looking forward to it)
The Favourite
First Reformed
Eighth Grade
BlacKkKlansman
Can You Ever Forgive Me?
Paddington 2
First Man

bad:
A Star is Born (i liked it for what it was but foh w/ any awards)
Bohemian Rhapsody
Green Book
Boy Erased
Beautiful Boy
Mary Poppins (wtf is this shit?)

flappy bird, Monday, 10 December 2018 20:13 (eleven months ago) link

i also don't think it's the worst year, but to be fair, a bunch of stuff on your 'good' list came out way earlier in the year.

|Restore| |Restart| |Quit| (Doctor Casino), Monday, 10 December 2018 20:57 (eleven months ago) link

yeah but they're getting nominated & winning, which is always good - silly to ignore films released before the fall/winter

flappy bird, Monday, 10 December 2018 21:49 (eleven months ago) link

fair enough, i took it as a comment on the 'awards movie season' as much as we evaluate 'this year's summer blockbuster crop' etc.

|Restore| |Restart| |Quit| (Doctor Casino), Monday, 10 December 2018 21:51 (eleven months ago) link

Beale Street was a mild disappointment.

Your sweetie-pie-coo-coo I love ya (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 10 December 2018 21:54 (eleven months ago) link

Q: Is Green Book a spiritual sequel to Crash? Or is it a literal sequel to Crash?

my hand is finally unglued from my face (Old Lunch), Monday, 10 December 2018 22:19 (eleven months ago) link

Prequel

I Never Promised You A Hose Harden (Eric H.), Monday, 10 December 2018 23:44 (eleven months ago) link

soft reboot

jmm, Tuesday, 11 December 2018 01:22 (eleven months ago) link

fair enough, i took it as a comment on the 'awards movie season' as much as we evaluate 'this year's summer blockbuster crop' etc.

― |Restore| |Restart| |Quit| (Doctor Casino), Monday, December 10, 2018 4:51 PM (seven hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

actually you're right, esp. with the wicked trifecta of star/book/rhapsody

flappy bird, Tuesday, 11 December 2018 04:55 (eleven months ago) link

Don't feel like Roma and A Phantom Thread (the 1/2 in the S&S poll) were that big a deal.

xyzzzz__, Tuesday, 11 December 2018 18:29 (eleven months ago) link

Benadryl Camembert IS Brexit

Pierrot with a thousand farces (wins), Sunday, 16 December 2018 13:01 (eleven months ago) link

Did Michael sheen die or something?

Pierrot with a thousand farces (wins), Sunday, 16 December 2018 13:01 (eleven months ago) link

two weeks pass...

The Favourite
Roma
The House that Jack Built

xyzzzz__, Sunday, 30 December 2018 20:18 (ten months ago) link

so they really cast the most posh, royal family-looking British actress as Brooklyn-born, second generation Jewish immigrant Ruth Bader Ginsburg? the Jews who control Hollywood need to be replaced with better Jews

— etan (@EtanHeytan) December 11, 2018

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 3 January 2019 12:50 (ten months ago) link

that movie has such a dumb, unwieldy title

flappy bird, Thursday, 3 January 2019 16:38 (ten months ago) link

Pubescent kids gonna be so disappointed after they surreptitiously DVR this Sex movie six months from now.

The Mandal Brah Set (Old Lunch), Thursday, 3 January 2019 16:52 (ten months ago) link

seems obvious they were banking on "RBG" as a can't-miss title, then the doc scooped them, and then they had months to come up with something else and just kept procrastinating the big meeting.

|Restore| |Restart| |Quit| (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 3 January 2019 17:00 (ten months ago) link

Oh is that what that film is about?! Funny that it’s coming out so close to the doc, one for the magician movies thread

This type of film is such an insta-skip for me that the only reason the fact of its existence has stuck in my mind at all is that the director mimi leder did consistently excellent work on the leftovers, & when I looked her up on the basis of that I saw that she’d directed deep impact and this upcoming oscarbait thing

Pierrot with a thousand farces (wins), Thursday, 3 January 2019 17:09 (ten months ago) link

Whoa

flappy bird, Thursday, 3 January 2019 17:15 (ten months ago) link

On The Basis Of Comets

imago, Thursday, 3 January 2019 17:23 (ten months ago) link

Leder also helmed the icky Pay It Forward, which automatically cancels any interest I might have had in seeing this (though I had none).

Timothée Charalambides (cryptosicko), Thursday, 3 January 2019 17:28 (ten months ago) link

On The Basis Of Comets


Ha, On The Basis Of The Leftovers tbf (and no I didn’t do that on purpose)

xp some ppl should stick to tv I guess!

Pierrot with a thousand farces (wins), Thursday, 3 January 2019 17:30 (ten months ago) link

ehh I think of leder as an example of how female filmmakers only get 1-2 cracks at blockbuster scale work if they "underperform" (or make money but not quite ENOUGH money) while male mediocrities seem to get chance after chance after chance. deep impact is a perfectly reasonable disaster movie that was only overshadowed because armageddon (same subject matter, different genre) was concentrated preposterous manipulative cheese. the peacemaker was pretty lame on recent rewatch, i'll admit. disclaimer, i haven't read any interviews or anything to back this up - maybe she found doing these movies to be a nightmare and never went back on purpose, idk.

|Restore| |Restart| |Quit| (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 3 January 2019 17:39 (ten months ago) link

Deep Impact is dope, maybe I will see this new Notorious RBG film

flappy bird, Thursday, 3 January 2019 17:45 (ten months ago) link

I mean ...

2	Armageddon	BV	$201,578,182	3,184	$36,089,972	3,127	7/1
8 Deep Impact Par. $140,464,664 3,280 $41,152,375 3,156 5/8

Not to mention that apparently Deep Impact cost about half as much to make as Armageddon.

love craptually (Eric H.), Thursday, 3 January 2019 17:46 (ten months ago) link

two weeks pass...

green book, the upside

why are these movies still being made

adam the (abanana), Friday, 18 January 2019 22:47 (nine months ago) link

Oscars, baby

A Nugatory Excrescence (Old Lunch), Friday, 18 January 2019 23:15 (nine months ago) link

are the voters who nominated guess who's coming to dinner still voting?

adam the (abanana), Saturday, 19 January 2019 00:19 (nine months ago) link

why are these movies still being made

tide goes in, tide goes out

flappy bird, Saturday, 19 January 2019 04:21 (nine months ago) link

I had my "enough" moment with comic book movies back in 2015.
I saw "The Rock" in theaters and I haven't seen another Michael Bay movie since.
Anything directed by Zach Snyder is also insta-banned.

Rod Steel (musicfanatic), Tuesday, 22 January 2019 17:59 (nine months ago) link

Honey Boy

Timothée Charalambides (cryptosicko), Tuesday, 5 February 2019 05:03 (nine months ago) link

lol this has a trailer now
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0irKUtaCaU

devvvine, Tuesday, 12 February 2019 22:48 (nine months ago) link

And who was asking for a Mapplethorpe biopic?
https://youtu.be/TvXLMpjyqpU

Anne Hedonia (j.lu), Tuesday, 12 February 2019 23:29 (nine months ago) link

new liam neeson joint "cold wish or whatever" sounds exactly like every other liam neeson movie in the past two decades.

adam the (abanana), Tuesday, 12 February 2019 23:37 (nine months ago) link

the best part of Love Actually was when crying Liam Neeson kicked the sexist US President through a window and the president knocked over Egg Off Of This Life and all his stalker cue cards

The Very Fugly Caterpillar (sic), Tuesday, 12 February 2019 23:53 (nine months ago) link

I am baffled as to why Cold Pursuit has such a "wacky comedy" poster:

https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BOGY3YjUzOTgtMmJmMS00ZDJjLTkwOGEtYWE3Mjk0ZTgwYmY4XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMjM4NTM5NDY@._V1_SY1000_SX675_AL_.jpg

Timothée Charalambides (cryptosicko), Wednesday, 13 February 2019 01:52 (nine months ago) link

Like, the tagline looks like it should read "Everyone remember where we parked."

Timothée Charalambides (cryptosicko), Wednesday, 13 February 2019 01:53 (nine months ago) link

lmfao otm

flappy bird, Wednesday, 13 February 2019 01:55 (nine months ago) link

It's a remake of a Norwegian comedy (with a script from a Danish writer). Very good film, the original, but even thought the director is the same I have a hard time imagining it to be any good. It's so much about Norway.

Frederik B, Wednesday, 13 February 2019 17:07 (nine months ago) link

Don't fret, no one knows Norway quite like Hollywood.

Shaved Cyborg (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 13 February 2019 17:11 (nine months ago) link

Hey, if it's half as good as Nolan's remake of Insomnia it'll be complete fucking shit

Stephen Yakkety-Yaxley-Rosbif (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 13 February 2019 17:11 (nine months ago) link

I saw it today, Fred is right, Cold Pursuit is a black comedy disguised as an action movie. it's very similar to Miami Blues, and in the same universe as Repo Man (though not nearly as good as either). worth seeing imo, and I hate all that Taken shit. it's not like that at all

flappy bird, Saturday, 16 February 2019 23:16 (nine months ago) link

Liam Neeson's action star career has run the gamut from competent trash to outstanding. Taken obv made him viable as an action commodity but its the least interesting film of this era (well maybe more interesting than Taken 2&3...) The Grey and A Walk Among the Tombstones and a couple of those Collet-Serra flicks are great.

omar little, Saturday, 16 February 2019 23:19 (nine months ago) link

Perhaps unfairly, i assume any movie with liam neeson isn’t worth watching

i believe that (s)he is sincere (forksclovetofu), Sunday, 17 February 2019 02:31 (nine months ago) link

gonna fight you over Darkman

steven, soda jerk (sic), Sunday, 17 February 2019 02:34 (nine months ago) link

and Buster Scruggs I guess

steven, soda jerk (sic), Sunday, 17 February 2019 02:34 (nine months ago) link

The Grey is really good

. (Michael B), Sunday, 17 February 2019 12:27 (nine months ago) link

four months pass...

Director: Gurinder Chadha
Starring: Rob Brydon, Dean-Charles Chapman, Hayley Atwell, Aaron Phagura, Kulvinder Ghir, Sally Phillips, Viveik Kalra, Nell Williams, Meera Ganatra
Duration: 117 min

In 1987 during the austere days of Thatcher's Britain, a teenager learns to live life, understand his family and find his own voice through the music of Bruce Springsteen.

shhh / let peaceful like things (wins), Thursday, 11 July 2019 12:23 (four months ago) link

the first movie written solely for eric alterman

adam the (abanana), Thursday, 11 July 2019 12:36 (four months ago) link

Saw the trailer for that the other day and it looked so bad I was embarrassed to be there for that two minutes.

Manfred Hemming-Hawing (WmC), Thursday, 11 July 2019 13:05 (four months ago) link

there's a mini-trend of movies trying to follow the commercial success of bo rhap, using some combination of 1. britain 2. minority groups 3. classic rock. rocketman and yesterday being the other prominent ones, and this one looking by far the worst.

adam the (abanana), Thursday, 11 July 2019 18:08 (four months ago) link

to be fair, Rocketman started filming before Bohemian Rhapsody even came out, although of course its director is the guy who'd replaced Singer on BR, so maybe he had some confidence it would be a hit.

Good morning, how are you, I'm (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 11 July 2019 18:18 (four months ago) link

No intention of seeing any of them but rocket man does sound better than the other three, which I would rather be murdered badly than have to see

shhh / let peaceful like things (wins), Thursday, 11 July 2019 18:25 (four months ago) link

three weeks pass...

I bought a ticket for a “surprise film” knowing only that it was a preview of a “much anticipated” upcoming film. I thought it might be the qt or almodóvar but it turned out to be that Springsteen thing ☹️

I gave it 40 minutes

2019OK plus bennu (wins), Friday, 2 August 2019 21:53 (three months ago) link

Jesus... how are you holding up?

flappy bird, Friday, 2 August 2019 23:03 (three months ago) link

lol

I mean the film is exactly what it looks like. I could have seen a preview of it for free earlier this week and couldn’t be bothered, it genuinely never occurred to me that it could be the surprise film. When the title came up several people murmured “oh no”

2019OK plus bennu (wins), Friday, 2 August 2019 23:15 (three months ago) link

One of my funniest cinema experiences was years ago at the film festival, they always close with a mystery film (eg last year was Roma), that year it was that proclaimers musical for some reason. When the title came up two guys in front of me looked at each other and without saying a word got up and left - maybe you had to be there but it made the whole thing worthwhile for me

2019OK plus bennu (wins), Friday, 2 August 2019 23:18 (three months ago) link

When the title came up several people murmured “oh no”

lmfao!!

I saw the trailer for it before Yesterday (which I really liked, leagues better than Rocketman and, from what I gather, BoRap), and the Springsteen movie is like one of those shitty 95/96 Pulp Fiction ripoffs, but of a movie released 2 months prior.

flappy bird, Friday, 2 August 2019 23:24 (three months ago) link

two weeks pass...

Avoiding the hell out of that Springsteen movie, but I keep reading reviews of it for some reason. I'm weirdly fascinated by the fact that it even exists. A couple of Springsteen superfans made a movie about the true story of one of them becoming a Springsteen superfan? And people let this happen?

Lily Dale, Monday, 19 August 2019 16:54 (two months ago) link

Probably got through on the strength of the current wave of boomer rock flicks (Queen, Elton, that “what if the Beatles never happened?” one...)

Herman Woke (cryptosicko), Monday, 19 August 2019 16:56 (two months ago) link

(which I now see represents the bulk of the recent discussion in this thread)

Herman Woke (cryptosicko), Monday, 19 August 2019 16:59 (two months ago) link

I saw the title of the thread and was like, "hmm, I wonder if there's anything about that Springsteen movie." Was amused to see that this is all that's been talked about in the thread for the last month or so.

Lily Dale, Monday, 19 August 2019 17:12 (two months ago) link

one month passes...

The Irishman

Pauline Male (Eric H.), Friday, 27 September 2019 14:15 (one month ago) link

I’ve somehow avoided hearing that much about this, and I can’t imagine myself not being curious enough to watch any new Scorsese at some point, but the “de-aging” stuff looks ridiculous.

Herman Woke (cryptosicko), Friday, 27 September 2019 14:55 (one month ago) link

everything about it seems completely dumb and pointless to me, but its going to be playing at the arthouse down the block from me and tbh i feel like theres probably going to be a quiet night when my morbid curiosity gets the best of me and i'll take a sad walk of shame down there to check it out

“Hakuna Matata,” a nihilist philosophy (One Eye Open), Friday, 27 September 2019 15:18 (one month ago) link

you ppl who proudly watch Tarantella's offal

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Friday, 27 September 2019 15:24 (one month ago) link

Totino is best film maker of are generatin, Scorswayze is tired hakc

Steampunk wasn't in my vocapulary 6 days ago. (Old Lunch), Friday, 27 September 2019 15:36 (one month ago) link

fucking Tom Hanks mr Rogers

brimstead, Friday, 27 September 2019 15:42 (one month ago) link

Scorsese’s good imo

Didn’t watch the Dylan thing but will see this at some point, if it weren’t on Netflix I’d watch it sooner

YouGov to see it (wins), Friday, 27 September 2019 15:44 (one month ago) link

you princes of Maine
you ppl who proudly watch tarantella's offal

“Hakuna Matata,” a nihilist philosophy (One Eye Open), Friday, 27 September 2019 15:57 (one month ago) link

It is with pride that I do tarantella

Pauline Male (Eric H.), Friday, 27 September 2019 16:11 (one month ago) link

How was your boy genius Spielberg's intellectual property wankfest Ready Player One again?

Tsar Bombadil (James Morrison), Monday, 30 September 2019 10:36 (one month ago) link

Far fewer than 210 minutes, for starters.

Pauline Male (Eric H.), Monday, 30 September 2019 16:46 (one month ago) link

So are all of Tarantino’s films, except for the sole all-in-one print of Kill Bill, which Morbs didn’t fly to Austin or Paris to see in 2011.

now let's play big lunch take little lunch (sic), Monday, 30 September 2019 17:19 (one month ago) link

shorter than the Irishman: ready player one, all Tarantino

longer than the Irishman: satantango, all lav diaz, flying from New York to Paris to watch kill bill

YouGov to see it (wins), Monday, 30 September 2019 17:27 (one month ago) link

Earlier this year I sat through 1900 (5+ hours) and didn't even stretch my legs at the intermission. But this year's crop of Oscar bait is going to have to be pretty weak to get me to see The Irishman in a theater.

Anne Hedonia (j.lu), Monday, 30 September 2019 17:54 (one month ago) link

Turns out there were two screenings in Philly in 2013 - Morbs could have taken the Megabus for the matinée and been back in NYC for dinner.

now let's play big lunch take little lunch (sic), Monday, 30 September 2019 17:59 (one month ago) link

flying from New York to Paris to watch kill bill

iirc you were the ilxor who was going to fly to New York to watch Eight Hours Don't Make a Day!

Also, not quite ALL Lav Diaz.

Ward Fowler, Monday, 30 September 2019 18:45 (one month ago) link

Well I mean that wasn’t why I flew to New York. But I’d do it again even tho both flight and screening were longer than the Irishman, ready player one, and all Tarantino

YouGov to see it (wins), Monday, 30 September 2019 18:52 (one month ago) link

three weeks pass...

Jojo Rabbit

Maria Edgelord (cryptosicko), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 20:09 (three weeks ago) link

I support your choice.

Anne Hedonia (j.lu), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 23:46 (three weeks ago) link

i enjoyed it but it took a while for me to build up some measure of trust in what it was doing/going for, and i can easily imagine it failing that test for different viewers

weird ilx but sb (Doctor Casino), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 23:47 (three weeks ago) link


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